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Dreams and youth slipping away, fuck life - Page 2

Blogs > EngrishTeacher
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Suc
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Australia1569 Posts
July 03 2012 04:55 GMT
#21
Say you get rich, what then? Just make more money for 30 more years or something and then retire? Sounds like a mad time you've got ahead of yourself.

Do some introspection, see what you want, play out those situations and imagine how you'd feel after that. Hopefully you can make a better decision once you discern your motivations and other things.

Also, you blame your situation on irresponsibility and then you are going to try to fix it with more irresponsibility? Righto.
YouGotNothin
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States907 Posts
July 03 2012 05:13 GMT
#22
Hmm, does no one else struggle with how much impact they are going to have on the world in their life? This is the basis of most of my worries. I really am afraid I will not end up improving the world I live in enough to be content. Also the constant fear of never living up to my full potential. I think because of this I will never be satisfied with a lot of jobs out there.
I got nothin'...
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
July 03 2012 06:33 GMT
#23
On July 03 2012 10:47 Empyrean wrote:
There's more to life than money.

this is why Empyrean is my favorite banling,
THIS, just this, for the love of fucking god

I hate when I hear that people think that all there is to life is money, are living wrong. Life is about loving more than you receive, living more than you think you would with love and dying like there isn't shit you would do anyways. Don't be so damn blind. Your problem isn't money, your problem is that you need to find your think and jade trading is going to make you broke, you will not make it big because you said your are irresponsible and that is the wrong market for that. The real thing you need to do is find your love, human and otherwise and pursue them whether or not you make a ton of money becaus you can diversify and do other things that make money in ways like hobbies, etc. Go find your love, not something to get rich quick, you will kill yourself literally and metaphysically if you follow this road.
User was warned for too many mimes.
tests
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States160 Posts
July 03 2012 07:04 GMT
#24
22 years old here. Have a BMW, a house, and several "goodies" people would consider for the wealthy. Yes I am very fortunate but let me tell you something: MONEY buys more THINGS, but more THINGS does not increase happiness.

I think what you are lacking is ambition. Money is just the medium you think that replicates the ambition.

Find things you truly enjoy and grow in those. Grow as a person. Accomplishing something just so you can buy more stuff will make you miserable. Trust me, I know countless people in my family who chase money and continuously put wealthier people on a pedestal. Maybe you have a fierce competition in you. Maybe you just can't stand people being better than you.


But then again, maybe your insecurity is getting the best of you.
Time is money my friend.
moopie
Profile Joined July 2009
12605 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-07-03 08:03:19
July 03 2012 07:06 GMT
#25
Honestly, you're still way way too young so feeling like your life is wasted, or that you missed the boat on becoming successful/rich. As someone older, trust me when I say that whats important is your drive. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and moping around about how its hard to become rich and powerful won't get you there. Pursuing something can, if you work at it enough (and its not easy).

Can't get the job you want? work towards it. Get a job where you can get experience that can help and then work your way up, do personal projects to learn the things you need (this also looks great on a resume later on down the road), seek others with similar interests and join teams doing similar projects, etc.

Unless you're just born with money (which most people aren't), you have to work towards success. You have plenty of time. The question is: are you motivated and driven enough to pursue your goals, or do you want to have a pity party about how life sucks?

Gambling your assets away (if not a troll) is about the dumbest thing you can do. To each his own though, gotta make mistakes to learn from them I guess.

Life is about what you make it.
I'm going to sleep, let me get some of that carpet.
Drizzt3
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States189 Posts
July 03 2012 07:11 GMT
#26
your ability to reason here seems a little err...compromised. maybe you should check out this blog http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=349537
"Before my time is done I will look down at your corpse and smile."-Brad Pitt (Achilles)
Xyik
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
Canada728 Posts
July 03 2012 07:18 GMT
#27
Yes, because gambling will solve all your problems. Why would I wish for you to be luckier than me? Some people work for what they've earned. If you don't have what you want maybe you shouldn't take the coin-flip
PiGStarcraft
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Australia1004 Posts
July 03 2012 07:55 GMT
#28
Depressing addict blog is depressing.

Sounds like you're a selfish dude who see's his gf as a possession and isn't really happy with her. Rather than having passion in life your only attempts at fulfilling your dreams are chasing after money and more expensive toys.

Shit if your dreams are that empty maybe you need to go get better dreams. Stop taking drugs and fucking everything that moves and wake up and smell the sunshine. Find something in life that's worth working for or towards and devote some of your efforts towards it.

If your life is focused around just your ego as a rich dude with a gf that's hotter then everyone else's I don't see you ever feeling particularly satisfied.

My advice would be to not be a moron and gamble your money away in a volatile market. When will you stop? Once you double or triple it? Why not keep going until all your money's gone? Think about how shit you'll feel then.

Go do something for someone else for a change, not just your own gain. Go talk to a homeless person and ask them why they don't have a home and let's see you feel all shit then.

Sorry if my reply is overly negative but I want to slap you and wake you up from this mindset your in. You're head really isn't in the right place right now and you probably need to speak to a close friend about these feelings before you do anything rash.

Best of luck yo.

Progamerwww.twitch.tv/x5_pig | pigrandom88@gmail.com | @x5_PiG | www.facebook.com/pigSC2
tdt
Profile Joined October 2010
United States3179 Posts
July 03 2012 09:38 GMT
#29
We all start out as perfectly happy little children. Unfortunately, as we grow, most of us hate ourselves because we believe we are worthless, inadequate and other things society tells us. As a result of our self hate we will insure that others die around us perpetuating the cycle and sometimes us. We will either awaken or die. Most prefer death. Whether drugs, alcohol, disconnection, filling our soulless void with expensive toys it's all to mask who we really want to be, that happy little child again.

I died two years ago and discovered that everything I had been taught and told was a total lie, a figment of my imagination, a mental prison. All it took was a small donation of ego. So don't bother putting me down again or having expectations (world, parents, GF) because no effect is generated by insulting a space that's empty. I found something that can't be taken is infinite and boundless only hidden by tons of shit heaped on us. Love. Try it you will want for nothing.
MC for president
Mstring
Profile Joined September 2011
Australia510 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-07-03 11:56:43
July 03 2012 11:48 GMT
#30
--
sevencck
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada705 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-07-03 19:55:31
July 03 2012 19:13 GMT
#31
Not to sound totally unsympathetic, because we've all been where you are, but you have some serious growing up to do. You say you don't want to be mediocre, but "get rich or die tryin" is an extremely mediocre sentiment, it's just a singular focus on material wealth, whatever the cost. There's so much more to life than that. This looks even more mediocre when coupled with what appears to be a longing for status (BMW, Aston Martin, hotter GF). Has it occurred to you that your definition of excellence might be arbitrary and socially imposed and has you chasing things that don't really matter very much?

You're 23, you have your whole life ahead of you, don't quit before you've had a chance to begin, and if you want to avoid mediocrity, a good place to begin would be to have a very close look at your values and see if you can figure out why you have the notion of mediocrity tied in so intimately with material wealth. It might be worth pointing out that Mozart himself was in debt most of his life, probably because he was trying to avoid the "mediocrity" you're describing.

On July 03 2012 11:05 Tryndamere wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 03 2012 10:47 Empyrean wrote:
There's more to life than money.


It is easier to say that when you have a totally different background and circumstances surrounding you.


Perhaps, but that doesn't make it any less true.
I like to think that the moon is there even if I am not looking at it. -Albert Einstein
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
July 03 2012 19:49 GMT
#32
On July 03 2012 16:55 PiGStarcraft wrote:
Depressing addict blog is depressing.

Not much to say except this. See you at rock bottom, bro.
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
Dmn
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Norway101 Posts
July 03 2012 20:30 GMT
#33
Forget about your past man, doesn't help you for shit to be stuck in what has happened.

Start appreciating the things you have instead of longing for what you don't have. Happiness is a choice.
metbull
Profile Joined April 2011
United States404 Posts
July 03 2012 21:01 GMT
#34
TL:DR -
EngrishTeacher said:
" I'm depressed as fuck." (ok, no worries there, happens to the best of us)
" I had such a bright future... Then shit happened...as I entered a lifestyle of endlessly excessive partying, decadence, sex, drugs and just utter hedonism in its most horrific state." (also happens to some of us in college)
" I'm not really complaining as I have no one to blame but myself." (at least you aren't blaming the world like lots of other people)
" I am not and can never be happy stepping into my tiny Civic every morning as the lure of BMWs and Mercedes or perhaps even Aston Martins cruelly taunts me." (who doesn't want a BMW quality automobile?)
" Going to quit my day job later today and convert as much of my assets as I can into liquid currency." (wait, what? how is that going to help you to not be "mediocre"?)
" Stepping into the extremely profitable yet volatile world of jade trading." ( I'm going to assume you've done a metric shit ton of research on this market)
" So I either double/triple my money in a matter of weeks or lose 1/2 to 2/3 of it." (well seeing as you are driving a Civic, it doesn't sound like you are starting with much; so a big lose will hurt much more if you are investing 75% of your bank."
" Wish me luck, I'm going to need it." (Yup)

To me sounds like you are looking to find some quick cash to buy happiness in this consumer driven world.
Stratos
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Czech Republic6104 Posts
July 03 2012 21:04 GMT
#35
Play BW. Become the next bonjwa. Dream problem solved, everything else is irrelevant.
En Taro Violet
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28908 Posts
July 03 2012 21:26 GMT
#36
man

most people have the high school/ college dream of : a total lack of self-control engulfed me as I entered a lifestyle of endlessly excessive partying, decadence, sex, drugs and just utter hedonism in its most horrific state. Barely scrapping enough grades to graduate.

that's from your post. it's good man. don't sweat it.
Moderator
EngrishTeacher
Profile Blog Joined March 2012
Canada1109 Posts
July 06 2012 01:38 GMT
#37
Thanks for the replies, and wow I can't believe how most people here brush off money as something so trivial.

I understand that money isn't everything; I also want to love someone passionately who returns the affection, good health, and a happy family. But at the same time I also firmly believe in the quote, "Money isn't everything; but without it you are nothing."

I've discussed the issue of correlation between money and happiness many times with friends and mentors, and the general consensus is that the main variables/factors are the amount of money in question, personal upbringing (satisfaction line), and how important money is in the culture/environment that you live in.

How much money you make PERFECTLY correlates with your happiness when you make under a certain amount. This amount of course differs between different countries and cultures, but the fact is, by my very rough and biased estimate (although accuracy here isn't the main concern as I'm merely trying to convey my point), if you make under 20K per year in the U.S./Canada you probably aren't going to be terribly happy, so from $0 - $~30 000 yearly every additional dollar pretty much linearly increases your happiness.

Once you reach the "comfort line", or satisfaction line" as I'd like to put it ($~30 000/year), I agree that for a good portion of the population every additional dollar decreases in importance exponentially. I'll clarify this point in graphical form.

[image loading]

However, your upbringing and maybe genetics do decide your satisfaction line, so for some people it's quite a bit higher than others. Additionally, the country/environment, and to a certain extent your social circles, also influences just how much money directly translates into happiness.

For me, unfortunately, my upbringing and also the revoltingly materialistic environment that I live in (China) have put my comfort line quite a bit higher than others. I only make about 180 000 RMB, or just under 30K USD per year. With purchasing power parity considered, that gets raised to about 60K USD per year which still isn't much by my standards.

Moreover, as I posted in the this guy's girl blog http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=350652 , I am also going through a tough time due to the fact that I am absolutely in LOVE with someone who probably doesn't love me back. My thoughts spontaneously jump to her at least a few dozen times a day, and I'm tortured by the fact that she's also my co-worker and good friend so telling her how I really feel is a complicated and delicate matter. We spend at least 50 hours a week sitting 2 feet away from each other so awkward fuckups are something that I try my best to avoid. The main issue here though, is surely again, that I just don't have enough bills in my wallet. She's a really good person with a HUGE heart, but her education and upbringing has shaped her to want someone older who can provide her with a more comfortable lifestyle. I guess what I'm trying to say is, although money can't directly buy you love, it creates endless possibilities for initiating new relationships and security for maintaining existing ones.


I haven't quit my job yet but I've been drowning myself in data (econ and finance major boohoo) for the past few days trying to find out if I'd make it in the jade market. Fueled by a lot of Beethoven and Rachmaninoff mixing in a little bit of Eminem, it's time to get down.


In the words of Eminem,

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
Fumanchu
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Canada669 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-07-08 01:23:18
July 06 2012 02:09 GMT
#38
Wow I can't believe how many people jump on the, "do what you love, money isn't everything" crap bandwagon. Either you're 14, or you still live at home, or life has given you a great head start. I work at a job that is absolutely unbelievably crappy. I stack wood that comes out of a conveyor belt. That's it. Wood moves along a belt and I stack it next to me on a cart. For eight hours a day, I don't move my feet unless they fall asleep. Moreover, this job allows me to save 100 bucks in my bank account each month. You're trying to tell me that if I made more money I wouldn't be happier?

OP if you have a chance at some amount of happiness but you have to risk in order to take it, please do. You mentioned that you have a degree, and from the way you compose your posts it's safe to assume you're at least slightly above average intelligence. TAKE THE RISK! Life doesn't come up and gift you your happiness, you have to snatch it from a strongbox guarded by several armed guerillas, and then throw a grenade when they try to take it back. It's not going to be easy, and there almost definitely will be times when you come to regret this decision. But man, if you don't take this chance now, it's going to haunt you for the rest of your life.

Let me close by saying that I personally have not glimpsed a chance of this supposed happiness, but you can bet your ass that when I do, I'm giving it my all and taking as much of it as I can. This job and this lifestyle will always be waiting for me if I fail.
Easy doesnt fit into grownup life.
Mstring
Profile Joined September 2011
Australia510 Posts
July 06 2012 03:09 GMT
#39
A great indication of health and happiness is how many drugs someone takes. How many wealthy people do you know that slam down the alcohol two, three, four times a week? XD
Amaterasu1234
Profile Joined November 2010
United States317 Posts
July 06 2012 04:56 GMT
#40
On July 03 2012 10:41 EngrishTeacher wrote:
I read a quote in high school and I still remember to it this day, I can't recall it exactly so I'll paraphrase:

"When you encounter a problem in life, you'd better face it as rationally and quickly as you possibly can. Problems are problems precisely because they make you unhappy; ultimately they are just sources of negative emotions. There are only two ways of combating them; you either ameliorate the external circumstances so that they are no longer problems, or at the very worst if that's not possible, change your internal self to alleviate the aforementioned negative emotions."



So yeah, I'm pretty much poor (according to your standards) and I'm happy as hell because I decided to do the latter of the suggestions in your quote. Admittedly, if I were to make more money, I may be happier, initially, but, overall, I feel I'd be the same...just with the added opportunities of having fun with friends every now and then.

Money most certainly isn't everything is what I've found to be true. And other people are virtually worthless for influencing your happiness in a positive way...except close friends. As such, my happiness is intrinsic after being cultivated for several years and learning how to be happy!

But good luck to you either way.
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