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So I turn 23 today, and I'm depressed as fuck.
It goes something like this for the majority of men.
When one's in kindergarten, everyone wants to be and feels like they can be the president.
When one steps into primary school, the dream is lowered to the level of CEOs and chairmen.
As one enters middle/high school, the sight is dropped further to a respectable and high-paying job.
Once in university, one simply looks for stability and a comfortable lifestyle.
And ultimately as one becomes part of the workforce... goals, dreams, ambitions, no longer factor into any significant part of one's thought processes. Everyday becomes a boring routine and a struggle to stay afloat.
I had such a bright future. graduating at the very top of my high school and entering a good program at respected university with all kinds of scholarships, I possessed a passion, burning ambitions, and most importantly, a earnest zest for life. I wasn't arrogant and full of myself in any way; I was merely confident in my ability and personality to achieve any realistic goal that I should set myself up for.
Then shit happened. More specifically, a total lack of self-control engulfed me as I entered a lifestyle of endlessly excessive partying, decadence, sex, drugs and just utter hedonism in its most horrific state. Barely scrapping enough grades to graduate, mediocrity soon followed.
I'm not really complaining as I have no one to blame but myself, and it's not as if I'm homeless or desperately unemployed, but the feeling of revolting regret and overwhelming sadness simply incapacitates me whenever time reminds me of the fact that I am slowly but surely, running out of it.
First world problems as they might be, I just can't bring myself to lower my sights and expectations. The fact is, I am not and can never be happy stepping into my tiny Civic every morning as the lure of BMWs and Mercedes or perhaps even Aston Martins cruelly taunts me. And it's not that I am not loved or have no one to love, but rather that I can't help it but always dream of someone just a little prettier who loves me more with a bigger heart.
I read a quote in high school and I still remember to it this day, I can't recall it exactly so I'll paraphrase:
"When you encounter a problem in life, you'd better face it as rationally and quickly as you possibly can. Problems are problems precisely because they make you unhappy; ultimately they are just sources of negative emotions. There are only two ways of combating them; you either ameliorate the external circumstances so that they are no longer problems, or at the very worst if that's not possible, change your internal self to alleviate the aforementioned negative emotions."
I feel as if I can no longer realistically achieve my ambitions of the past. It's simply just not very possible to multiply my current net worth by a factor of ten to hundred any time soon in the future.
"Be happy with what you have. There are billions worse off than you. Suck it up and stop being a little bitch."
Easier said than done.
Fuck my life, fuck mediocrity. Get rich or die tryin'. Going to quit my day job later today and convert as much of my assets as I can into liquid currency, stepping into the extremely profitable yet volatile world of jade trading here in the motherland. It's like the gold market but a fuck ton less established and stable so I either double/triple my money in a matter of weeks or lose 1/2 to 2/3 of it.
Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.
Edit in:
Thanks for the replies, and wow I can't believe how most people here brush off money as something so trivial.
I understand that money isn't everything; I also want to love someone passionately who returns the affection, good health, and a happy family. But at the same time I also firmly believe in the quote, "Money isn't everything; but without it you are nothing."
I've discussed the issue of correlation between money and happiness many times with friends and mentors, and the general consensus is that the main variables/factors are the amount of money in question, personal upbringing (satisfaction line), and how important money is in the culture/environment that you live in.
How much money you make PERFECTLY correlates with your happiness when you make under a certain amount. This amount of course differs between different countries and cultures, but the fact is, by my very rough and biased estimate (although accuracy here isn't the main concern as I'm merely trying to convey my point), if you make under 20K per year in the U.S./Canada you probably aren't going to be terribly happy, so from $0 - $~30 000 yearly every additional dollar pretty much linearly increases your happiness.
Once you reach the "comfort line", or satisfaction line" as I'd like to put it ($~30 000/year), I agree that for a good portion of the population every additional dollar decreases in importance exponentially. I'll clarify this point in graphical form.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/BwWIQ.png)
However, your upbringing and maybe genetics do decide your satisfaction line, so for some people it's quite a bit higher than others. Additionally, the country/environment, and to a certain extent your social circles, also influences just how much money directly translates into happiness.
For me, unfortunately, my upbringing and also the revoltingly materialistic environment that I live in (China) have put my comfort line quite a bit higher than others. I only make about 180 000 RMB, or just under 30K USD per year. With purchasing power parity considered, that gets raised to about 60K USD per year which still isn't much by my standards.
Moreover, as I posted in the this guy's girl blog http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=350652 , I am also going through a tough time due to the fact that I am absolutely in LOVE with someone who probably doesn't love me back. My thoughts spontaneously jump to her at least a few dozen times a day, and I'm tortured by the fact that she's also my co-worker and good friend so telling her how I really feel is a complicated and delicate matter. We spend at least 50 hours a week sitting 2 feet away from each other so awkward fuckups are something that I try my best to avoid. The main issue here though, is surely again, that I just don't have enough bills in my wallet. She's a really good person with a HUGE heart, but her education and upbringing has shaped her to want someone older who can provide her with a more comfortable lifestyle. I guess what I'm trying to say is, although money can't directly buy you love, it creates endless possibilities for initiating new relationships and security for maintaining existing ones.
I haven't quit my job yet but I've been drowning myself in data (econ and finance major boohoo) for the past few days trying to find out if I'd make it in the jade market. Fueled by a lot of Beethoven and Rachmaninoff mixing in a little bit of Eminem, it's time to get down.
In the words of Eminem,
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
  
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Be a good person or die trying :/
If you've admitted to personal irresponsibility, maybe the solution is to be responsible and moral rather than trying to exploit a market which has inproportionate returns for money and more irresponsibility.
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16952 Posts
There's more to life than money.
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Good luck, I understand your struggle. I also have problem dealing with mediocrity and couldn't disagree more with On July 03 2012 10:47 Empyrean wrote:
There's more to life than money.
I also regret a ton of choices I've made in the past that lead me to said mediocrity.
And I've pretty much lost all hope of ever being able to fix this problem.
Leading to depression.
At one point I might do a similar thing and put everything on black and hang a rope up if I miss.
But for now I live one day at a time, trying to always smile.
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On July 03 2012 10:47 Empyrean wrote:
There's more to life than money.
It is easier to say that when you have a totally different background and circumstances surrounding you.
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I feel the same way about life right now, and I wish I could have what you had.
I possessed a passion, burning ambitions, and most importantly, a earnest zest for life. I wasn't arrogant and full of myself in any way; I was merely confident in my ability and personality to achieve any realistic goal that I should set myself up for.
Though I never had the luck of even being able to slip into the kind of hedonism you describe. I'm just continuously sinking into mediocrity because I just don't have any vision or "one goal" I need to get to in life. At any rate why do you want those cheesy cars anyway? Is it all just about being worth a lot of money and having other people know it? If you can't be happy without having an expensive car I think that's probably the best place to start questioning.
Good luck though, your new path seems fairly exciting. It takes a lot of guts to do this.
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On July 03 2012 10:58 TuElite wrote:Good luck, I understand your struggle. I also have problem dealing with mediocrity and couldn't disagree more with:
What does making money have to do with mediocrity?
If the OP is unhappy and feels down on himself because he isn't earning as much money as he feels he should that is silly, and probably more than a bit unhealthy. If he is depressed because he knows he can achieve more than what he is now (i.e. excelling at his career/ambitions/hobbies) then is probably a good thing, or at least for the right reasons.
It goes something like this for the majority of men.
When one's in kindergarten, everyone wants to be and feels like they can be the president.
When one steps into primary school, the dream is lowered to the level of CEOs and chairmen.
As one enters middle/high school, the sight is dropped further to a respectable and high-paying job.
Once in university, one simply looks for stability and a comfortable lifestyle.
And ultimately as one becomes part of the workforce... goals, dreams, ambitions, no longer factor into any significant part of one's thought processes. Everyday becomes a boring routine and a struggle to stay afloat.
I call BS here. I can understand people dreaming of things like being the president or a great athlete or a celebrity. I don't know anyone who dreams of being a CEO/making tons of money in elementary or middle school. I also don't see this goal lowering you talk about that happens between HS->college-> end of college. Just about anybody that has reasonable intelligence, work ethic, and comes from a background to make it possible can have a respectable high paying job (i.e. doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc.).
As to the bolded part...why? That sounds like a horrible, useless mentality; and certainly not one that would be conductive to changing your situation or even to happiness in general.
The fact is, I am not and can never be happy stepping into my tiny Civic every morning as the lure of BMWs and Mercedes or perhaps even Aston Martins cruelly taunts me.
I feel as if I can no longer realistically achieve my ambitions of the past. It's simply just not very possible to multiply my current net worth by a factor of ten to hundred any time soon in the future.
Get rich or die tryin'. Going to quit my day job later today and convert as much of my assets as I can into liquid currency,
Is this really what motivates you? It sounds like your ideas of "success" and "mediocrity" are based almost entirely on how much money you pull in.
Not to mention you'll never be satisfied if this is what your chasing, you'll always be wanting more, more, and, more. Chasing money and having lots of money just doesn't result in happiness and usually seems to result in an insatiable hunger that prevents happiness and keeps the person in a cycle of stress, anxiety, and greed.
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Firstly, you're 23. You're very young. It sounds like you've come to a critical point in your life where you can keep doing what you've been doing or make a choice and try something different. I don't know what that choice is, but you have complete control over where you put your effort and energy. Just make a choice, head where you want to do.
Secondly, it's a bit demoralizing to hear that you think driving a BMW or an Aston Martin is going to make you happy. Cliché I know, but money really *really* doesn't buy happiness. It sounds more like you don't have a purpose or an ambition beyond being rich. What's the point in being rich for being rich's sake?
Meh I feel like an old man saying all this but again, work out what it is that really matters to you and do something about making it part of your life. Someone once told me to "follow the white rabbit" which is a bit of a childish analogy but it makes sense to me at least.
For context, I'm 28, I got married last year and have an 8 week old daughter. I have a well paying job now which I enjoy *most* of the time but when I was 23 I was still a poor student who had no idea what to do. I'd just graduated as an actor and was really freaking depressed. I did this solo show in a Fringe festival and had audiences of 12 people some nights... So I made a decision, applied for IT jobs (I have a BSc in computer science as well), and made this all happen and I'm happy now. A bit overwhelmed by it all, but I wouldn't want anything different than it is.
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One should always strive to do the best that you can, but common. You're 23 and you want to be rich?
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even though i am only 20, my life has changed a lot in this last year and i've had some of these same feelings to the point where now I'm just gonna do what I enjoy life is too short to sweat what could have been so my new outlook is just to live it up every chance I get and I must say that I have had a total 180 in my attitude towards everything
I've felt that way many a time before in the end all that matters is not how much you make or what house you live in, its what you make of everything you have
good luck man, keep us posted...hope everything works out fantastic for you
OH also I know its been said but money won't always make you happy
I was raised a multi millionare just outside Washington, DC and recently my family has lost everything (its complicated) and I'm happier now than I've been in 20 years of being alive
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It's all about perspective. Give it some time, and you'll enjoy life again.
And wait a week or so before liquidating all your assets. Of course you can do what you want to do, but don't make such a drastic choice on the eve of your crisis. After you cool off, think about it some more before you take the plunge. Maybe read a book or two in the meantime to relax.
And happy birthday dude.
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As a fellow 23 year old TL'er, I can safely say the most important lesson bestowed upon me during my 4 years of college, through non-educational happenings mind you, is to take everything just a little less seriously, right down to the point where a perfect balance is had between drive and lack of overt negativity. I can honestly say there are easily dozens of little events that occur during during my day that remind me to enjoy life, and my life is not a traditionally fortunate one by any means. It's all in your head.
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Fuck you!  I'm 29 going on 30 this year when I was 23 I didn't even have time to think about being 23. Now I don't party as much...but i still have more fun than lots of people I know. Well just know that everything will be ok. Cheers.
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Honestly, it's also probably the combination of culture clash that has you down. 23 in China is generally perceived as older than 23 in Europe/US. Young adults here are worried about marriage and buying a home already, and they're only a year older than me.
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16952 Posts
On July 03 2012 10:58 TuElite wrote:Good luck, I understand your struggle. I also have problem dealing with mediocrity and couldn't disagree more with
Really? Money is the only important thing in your life?
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Mmm I disagree with your beginning, I don't think expectations really drop as you grow older (but thats besides the point)
I think... you should perhaps think about your options a little more. I mean, you're ONLY 23, not everyone is rolling in money at that point (in fact, I think very few people are).
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On July 03 2012 11:42 Empyrean wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2012 10:58 TuElite wrote:Good luck, I understand your struggle. I also have problem dealing with mediocrity and couldn't disagree more with On July 03 2012 10:47 Empyrean wrote:
There's more to life than money. Really? Money is the only important thing in your life?
You have to expect that as a predictable consequence of a educational and social system that more often than not offers money as the most desirable and ONLY solution though, I don't blame the individual.
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Kid... shut up.
You've barely been out on your own.
You're just overwhelmed because you don't know shit and life's a lot to take in.
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24 year old here. I teach in South Korea. I'm not rich, I was super smart at school, but got lazy when bitches started to show interest. However I feel that everything that I did in England growing up, has led me to this point where I couldn't be happier, even if I did get the job I used to dream of (scientist and lawyer).
I got lazy when I realised that I really don't enjoy anything work related in those fields. They were super interesting to me, but nothing I would take further. English language however I found a challenge (grammar and shit) and also super easy...so I took that.
I could be earning millions, I could have been that guy who has too much money...but you know what? I'm happy where I am. I'm happy that I was so depressed after finishing with an ex (Right before finishing uni) that I decided to work in Korea, I'm happy with the mediocre pay that I recieve in comparisson to the super rich, I'm happy with my life with a beautiful girlfriend and a good place to live (paid for by the school). I don't know where I will end up, I don't know what's going to happen but as long as I'm happy and enjoying myself I'm content with life.
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Say you get rich, what then? Just make more money for 30 more years or something and then retire? Sounds like a mad time you've got ahead of yourself.
Do some introspection, see what you want, play out those situations and imagine how you'd feel after that. Hopefully you can make a better decision once you discern your motivations and other things.
Also, you blame your situation on irresponsibility and then you are going to try to fix it with more irresponsibility? Righto.
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Hmm, does no one else struggle with how much impact they are going to have on the world in their life? This is the basis of most of my worries. I really am afraid I will not end up improving the world I live in enough to be content. Also the constant fear of never living up to my full potential. I think because of this I will never be satisfied with a lot of jobs out there.
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On July 03 2012 10:47 Empyrean wrote:
There's more to life than money.
this is why Empyrean is my favorite banling,
THIS, just this, for the love of fucking god
I hate when I hear that people think that all there is to life is money, are living wrong. Life is about loving more than you receive, living more than you think you would with love and dying like there isn't shit you would do anyways. Don't be so damn blind. Your problem isn't money, your problem is that you need to find your think and jade trading is going to make you broke, you will not make it big because you said your are irresponsible and that is the wrong market for that. The real thing you need to do is find your love, human and otherwise and pursue them whether or not you make a ton of money becaus you can diversify and do other things that make money in ways like hobbies, etc. Go find your love, not something to get rich quick, you will kill yourself literally and metaphysically if you follow this road.
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22 years old here. Have a BMW, a house, and several "goodies" people would consider for the wealthy. Yes I am very fortunate but let me tell you something: MONEY buys more THINGS, but more THINGS does not increase happiness.
I think what you are lacking is ambition. Money is just the medium you think that replicates the ambition.
Find things you truly enjoy and grow in those. Grow as a person. Accomplishing something just so you can buy more stuff will make you miserable. Trust me, I know countless people in my family who chase money and continuously put wealthier people on a pedestal. Maybe you have a fierce competition in you. Maybe you just can't stand people being better than you.
But then again, maybe your insecurity is getting the best of you.
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Honestly, you're still way way too young so feeling like your life is wasted, or that you missed the boat on becoming successful/rich. As someone older, trust me when I say that whats important is your drive. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and moping around about how its hard to become rich and powerful won't get you there. Pursuing something can, if you work at it enough (and its not easy).
Can't get the job you want? work towards it. Get a job where you can get experience that can help and then work your way up, do personal projects to learn the things you need (this also looks great on a resume later on down the road), seek others with similar interests and join teams doing similar projects, etc.
Unless you're just born with money (which most people aren't), you have to work towards success. You have plenty of time. The question is: are you motivated and driven enough to pursue your goals, or do you want to have a pity party about how life sucks?
Gambling your assets away (if not a troll) is about the dumbest thing you can do. To each his own though, gotta make mistakes to learn from them I guess.
Life is about what you make it.
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Yes, because gambling will solve all your problems. Why would I wish for you to be luckier than me? Some people work for what they've earned. If you don't have what you want maybe you shouldn't take the coin-flip
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Depressing addict blog is depressing.
Sounds like you're a selfish dude who see's his gf as a possession and isn't really happy with her. Rather than having passion in life your only attempts at fulfilling your dreams are chasing after money and more expensive toys.
Shit if your dreams are that empty maybe you need to go get better dreams. Stop taking drugs and fucking everything that moves and wake up and smell the sunshine. Find something in life that's worth working for or towards and devote some of your efforts towards it.
If your life is focused around just your ego as a rich dude with a gf that's hotter then everyone else's I don't see you ever feeling particularly satisfied.
My advice would be to not be a moron and gamble your money away in a volatile market. When will you stop? Once you double or triple it? Why not keep going until all your money's gone? Think about how shit you'll feel then.
Go do something for someone else for a change, not just your own gain. Go talk to a homeless person and ask them why they don't have a home and let's see you feel all shit then.
Sorry if my reply is overly negative but I want to slap you and wake you up from this mindset your in. You're head really isn't in the right place right now and you probably need to speak to a close friend about these feelings before you do anything rash.
Best of luck yo.
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We all start out as perfectly happy little children. Unfortunately, as we grow, most of us hate ourselves because we believe we are worthless, inadequate and other things society tells us. As a result of our self hate we will insure that others die around us perpetuating the cycle and sometimes us. We will either awaken or die. Most prefer death. Whether drugs, alcohol, disconnection, filling our soulless void with expensive toys it's all to mask who we really want to be, that happy little child again.
I died two years ago and discovered that everything I had been taught and told was a total lie, a figment of my imagination, a mental prison. All it took was a small donation of ego. So don't bother putting me down again or having expectations (world, parents, GF) because no effect is generated by insulting a space that's empty. I found something that can't be taken is infinite and boundless only hidden by tons of shit heaped on us. Love. Try it you will want for nothing.
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Not to sound totally unsympathetic, because we've all been where you are, but you have some serious growing up to do. You say you don't want to be mediocre, but "get rich or die tryin" is an extremely mediocre sentiment, it's just a singular focus on material wealth, whatever the cost. There's so much more to life than that. This looks even more mediocre when coupled with what appears to be a longing for status (BMW, Aston Martin, hotter GF). Has it occurred to you that your definition of excellence might be arbitrary and socially imposed and has you chasing things that don't really matter very much?
You're 23, you have your whole life ahead of you, don't quit before you've had a chance to begin, and if you want to avoid mediocrity, a good place to begin would be to have a very close look at your values and see if you can figure out why you have the notion of mediocrity tied in so intimately with material wealth. It might be worth pointing out that Mozart himself was in debt most of his life, probably because he was trying to avoid the "mediocrity" you're describing.
On July 03 2012 11:05 Tryndamere wrote:It is easier to say that when you have a totally different background and circumstances surrounding you.
Perhaps, but that doesn't make it any less true.
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On July 03 2012 16:55 PiGStarcraft wrote:
Depressing addict blog is depressing.
Not much to say except this. See you at rock bottom, bro.
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Forget about your past man, doesn't help you for shit to be stuck in what has happened.
Start appreciating the things you have instead of longing for what you don't have. Happiness is a choice.
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TL:DR -
EngrishTeacher said:
" I'm depressed as fuck." (ok, no worries there, happens to the best of us)
" I had such a bright future... Then shit happened...as I entered a lifestyle of endlessly excessive partying, decadence, sex, drugs and just utter hedonism in its most horrific state." (also happens to some of us in college)
" I'm not really complaining as I have no one to blame but myself." (at least you aren't blaming the world like lots of other people)
" I am not and can never be happy stepping into my tiny Civic every morning as the lure of BMWs and Mercedes or perhaps even Aston Martins cruelly taunts me." (who doesn't want a BMW quality automobile?)
" Going to quit my day job later today and convert as much of my assets as I can into liquid currency." (wait, what? how is that going to help you to not be "mediocre"?)
" Stepping into the extremely profitable yet volatile world of jade trading." ( I'm going to assume you've done a metric shit ton of research on this market)
" So I either double/triple my money in a matter of weeks or lose 1/2 to 2/3 of it." (well seeing as you are driving a Civic, it doesn't sound like you are starting with much; so a big lose will hurt much more if you are investing 75% of your bank."
" Wish me luck, I'm going to need it." (Yup)
To me sounds like you are looking to find some quick cash to buy happiness in this consumer driven world.
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Play BW. Become the next bonjwa. Dream problem solved, everything else is irrelevant.
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Norway28575 Posts
man
most people have the high school/ college dream of : a total lack of self-control engulfed me as I entered a lifestyle of endlessly excessive partying, decadence, sex, drugs and just utter hedonism in its most horrific state. Barely scrapping enough grades to graduate.
that's from your post. it's good man. don't sweat it.
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Thanks for the replies, and wow I can't believe how most people here brush off money as something so trivial.
I understand that money isn't everything; I also want to love someone passionately who returns the affection, good health, and a happy family. But at the same time I also firmly believe in the quote, "Money isn't everything; but without it you are nothing."
I've discussed the issue of correlation between money and happiness many times with friends and mentors, and the general consensus is that the main variables/factors are the amount of money in question, personal upbringing (satisfaction line), and how important money is in the culture/environment that you live in.
How much money you make PERFECTLY correlates with your happiness when you make under a certain amount. This amount of course differs between different countries and cultures, but the fact is, by my very rough and biased estimate (although accuracy here isn't the main concern as I'm merely trying to convey my point), if you make under 20K per year in the U.S./Canada you probably aren't going to be terribly happy, so from $0 - $~30 000 yearly every additional dollar pretty much linearly increases your happiness.
Once you reach the "comfort line", or satisfaction line" as I'd like to put it ($~30 000/year), I agree that for a good portion of the population every additional dollar decreases in importance exponentially. I'll clarify this point in graphical form.
However, your upbringing and maybe genetics do decide your satisfaction line, so for some people it's quite a bit higher than others. Additionally, the country/environment, and to a certain extent your social circles, also influences just how much money directly translates into happiness.
For me, unfortunately, my upbringing and also the revoltingly materialistic environment that I live in (China) have put my comfort line quite a bit higher than others. I only make about 180 000 RMB, or just under 30K USD per year. With purchasing power parity considered, that gets raised to about 60K USD per year which still isn't much by my standards.
Moreover, as I posted in the this guy's girl blog http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=350652 , I am also going through a tough time due to the fact that I am absolutely in LOVE with someone who probably doesn't love me back. My thoughts spontaneously jump to her at least a few dozen times a day, and I'm tortured by the fact that she's also my co-worker and good friend so telling her how I really feel is a complicated and delicate matter. We spend at least 50 hours a week sitting 2 feet away from each other so awkward fuckups are something that I try my best to avoid. The main issue here though, is surely again, that I just don't have enough bills in my wallet. She's a really good person with a HUGE heart, but her education and upbringing has shaped her to want someone older who can provide her with a more comfortable lifestyle. I guess what I'm trying to say is, although money can't directly buy you love, it creates endless possibilities for initiating new relationships and security for maintaining existing ones.
I haven't quit my job yet but I've been drowning myself in data (econ and finance major boohoo) for the past few days trying to find out if I'd make it in the jade market. Fueled by a lot of Beethoven and Rachmaninoff mixing in a little bit of Eminem, it's time to get down.
In the words of Eminem,
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
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Wow I can't believe how many people jump on the, "do what you love, money isn't everything" crap bandwagon. Either you're 14, or you still live at home, or life has given you a great head start. I work at a job that is absolutely unbelievably crappy. I stack wood that comes out of a conveyor belt. That's it. Wood moves along a belt and I stack it next to me on a cart. For eight hours a day, I don't move my feet unless they fall asleep. Moreover, this job allows me to save 100 bucks in my bank account each month. You're trying to tell me that if I made more money I wouldn't be happier?
OP if you have a chance at some amount of happiness but you have to risk in order to take it, please do. You mentioned that you have a degree, and from the way you compose your posts it's safe to assume you're at least slightly above average intelligence. TAKE THE RISK! Life doesn't come up and gift you your happiness, you have to snatch it from a strongbox guarded by several armed guerillas, and then throw a grenade when they try to take it back. It's not going to be easy, and there almost definitely will be times when you come to regret this decision. But man, if you don't take this chance now, it's going to haunt you for the rest of your life.
Let me close by saying that I personally have not glimpsed a chance of this supposed happiness, but you can bet your ass that when I do, I'm giving it my all and taking as much of it as I can. This job and this lifestyle will always be waiting for me if I fail.
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A great indication of health and happiness is how many drugs someone takes. How many wealthy people do you know that slam down the alcohol two, three, four times a week? XD
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On July 03 2012 10:41 EngrishTeacher wrote:
I read a quote in high school and I still remember to it this day, I can't recall it exactly so I'll paraphrase:
"When you encounter a problem in life, you'd better face it as rationally and quickly as you possibly can. Problems are problems precisely because they make you unhappy; ultimately they are just sources of negative emotions. There are only two ways of combating them; you either ameliorate the external circumstances so that they are no longer problems, or at the very worst if that's not possible, change your internal self to alleviate the aforementioned negative emotions."
So yeah, I'm pretty much poor (according to your standards) and I'm happy as hell because I decided to do the latter of the suggestions in your quote. Admittedly, if I were to make more money, I may be happier, initially, but, overall, I feel I'd be the same...just with the added opportunities of having fun with friends every now and then.
Money most certainly isn't everything is what I've found to be true. And other people are virtually worthless for influencing your happiness in a positive way...except close friends. As such, my happiness is intrinsic after being cultivated for several years and learning how to be happy!
But good luck to you either way.
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There are two ways to become happy:
1. don't give crap about what people think, be happy where you are
2. do whatever it takes to get what you want
it will seem like option 1 is easier, but trust me. option 2 is a thousand times harder.
what do you think will be easier to do? becoming a monk, thus freeing yourself of all material and sexual desire,
or becoming a doctor/lawyer/banker or whatever profession that allows you to make more money than the average person?
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On July 06 2012 14:49 dongmydrum wrote:
There are two ways to become happy:
1. don't give crap about what people think, be happy where you are
2. do whatever it takes to get what you want
it will seem like option 1 is easier, but trust me. option 2 is a thousand times harder.
what do you think will be easier to do? becoming a monk, thus freeing yourself of all material and sexual desire,
or becoming a doctor/lawyer/banker or whatever profession that allows you to make more money than the average person?
(2) isn't a solution to the problem because it requires a leap of faith that you will be happy when you achieve what you "want". Given that you don't have it, how can you be sure it will bring you happiness?
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Find what makes you happy.
Money isn't everything, but it is a protection from the troubles poverty brings.
That said, if you work hard you will make more than your average lazy entitled mid twenties guy.
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On July 06 2012 11:09 Fumanchu wrote:
Wow I can't believe how many people jump on the, "do what you love, money isn't everything" crap bandwagon. Either you're 14, or you still live at home, or life has given you a great head start. I work at a job that is absolutely unbelievably crappy. I stack wood that comes out of a conveyor belt. That's it. Wood moves along a belt and I stack it next to me on a cart. For eight hours a day, I don't move my feet unless they fall asleep. Moreover, this job allows me to save 100 bucks in my bank account each month. You're trying to tell me that if I made more money I wouldn't be happier? I wouldn't be happier if I was sleeping on a mattress instead of some couch cushions I bought from a thrift store?
Then you misunderstand what everyone is saying.
People aren't saying "find a way to be happy in your crappy situation". "Do what you love" means work towards accomplishing your goals.
For example, if you want to be a programmer because you enjoy programming in your free time, but don't have a computer engineering/computer science degree or any professional experience (making getting a job hard) then work on it. Do personal projects (that you can show off on a resume/interview), maybe take some classes if thats your thing, join a team of other programmers doing some project you find interesting, etc, until you have what it takes to get a job programming professionally.
But no, money definitely isn't anything. Its a necessity when you don' have any, but considering you only live once its better (imo) to work at a job you love (and enjoy going to in the morning) even if it makes half of what you could otherwise make at a job you hate (so long as its sustainable).
In your example, you're neither making real money nor doing what you love, so yeah that situation is something that you should work on improving. If you said "hey, I make enough to live off of, but not a lot more, but I love my job" then it would be a different story.
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OP everyone in this thread is telling you that you shouldn't do it. That money isn't everything, the risk isn't worth it and that your better off doing nothing.
But if you think your really passionate about it, that you can devote the next few years, and more of your life to this, then I say go for it. Just try and have some sort of backup plan incase it fails.
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Home is where you make it, and happiness is where you cultivate it.
Things could always be worse. Routine is the dull man's worst enemy. Rich people can frown from monotony too.
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On July 03 2012 10:47 Empyrean wrote:
There's more to life than money.
This is true, but to somebody who isn't in that 'comfort zone' that EngrishTeacher is talking about, money is pretty fuckin important. It isn't until you're living steady (as in you're able to look beyond your next two paychecks or so) that you're able to shift priorities in life a bit more. The threat of being tossed in the street because you can't afford rent or the prospects of literally starving for a few weeks can be pretty harrowing.
That said, the pursuit of the luxuries in life like nice cars and $300 pants and all that bullshit isn't worth it, but for many this conclusion isn't drawn until they actually get a taste of this and see firsthand how vapid and unnecessary this stuff is (at least, this was the case for me), and some people (like a friend of mine who grew up poor and with a complex about it) never really get out of this 'chase the high life' lifestyle. IMO, life is better spent pursuing novel experiences and achieving personal goals than getting money
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I love my Honda dude what's wrong with you?
Here random quote:
"Natural disasters are not as bad as not knowing what is enough.
Loss is not as bad as wanting more.
"Therefore the sufficiency that comes from knowing what is enough is an eternal sufficiency."
-Tao Te Ching
Your quote: "Money isn't everything; but without it you are nothing."
Seriously? You are beyond being helped. You are nothing either way, believing that money will change that is a delusion.
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On July 06 2012 10:38 EngrishTeacher wrote:But at the same time I also firmly believe in the quote, "Money isn't everything; but without it you are nothing."
So an industrialized setting with a capitalist economy is a necessary prerequisite for the human spirit to thrive and find satisfaction and comfort? You need money, I won't deny that, but you're putting way too much emphasis on it for happiness. Are you saying if you won't be happy until you make more than 30K USD per year? That if you never make more you'll never be happy? Does that sound like a good value?
However, your upbringing and maybe genetics do decide your satisfaction line, so for some people it's quite a bit higher than others. Additionally, the country/environment, and to a certain extent your social circles, also influences just how much money directly translates into happiness.
For me, unfortunately, my upbringing and also the revoltingly materialistic environment that I live in (China) have put my comfort line quite a bit higher than others. I only make about 180 000 RMB, or just under 30K USD per year. With purchasing power parity considered, that gets raised to about 60K USD per year which still isn't much by my standards.
This is flat out wrong. Genetics play no part whatsoever in it, none whatsoever. What you're talking about is a value, and values can and do change and evolve. You're trying to validate a problematic value for excess and unnecessary wealth and status by claiming you have a genetic predisposition for it, and that by extension it is therefore beyond your capability to change. Your upbrining is a factor, I agree, but again, only because you're brought up on certain values. When you learn to critique the values you hold, you can free yourself from them somewhat. You can still pursue wealth, but it will be within a more inclusive and meaningful understanding of yourself.
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money is worthless, i wish i could hedge for relationships instead
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If money is your source of happiness. You'll be forever sad. Common quote of money is "it's never enough". I work, but not just for money, I work because I want to create things and solve problems. If all I wanted was money, then I wouldn't have gone to school and be broke for 4 years to get a career that I enjoy doing for the rest of my life. It's a lot more satisfying than striving for materialistic items. IMO
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Money won't make you happy, but you can't be happy without any money. It's one small piece of the puzzle, and most people don't see that there is a middle ground between minimum wage and winning the lottery.
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On July 06 2012 10:38 EngrishTeacher wrote:Thanks for the replies, and wow I can't believe how most people here brush off money as something so trivial. I understand that money isn't everything; I also want to love someone passionately who returns the affection, good health, and a happy family. But at the same time I also firmly believe in the quote, "Money isn't everything; but without it you are nothing." I've discussed the issue of correlation between money and happiness many times with friends and mentors, and the general consensus is that the main variables/factors are the amount of money in question, personal upbringing (satisfaction line), and how important money is in the culture/environment that you live in. How much money you make PERFECTLY correlates with your happiness when you make under a certain amount. This amount of course differs between different countries and cultures, but the fact is, by my very rough and biased estimate (although accuracy here isn't the main concern as I'm merely trying to convey my point), if you make under 20K per year in the U.S./Canada you probably aren't going to be terribly happy, so from $0 - $~30 000 yearly every additional dollar pretty much linearly increases your happiness. Once you reach the "comfort line", or satisfaction line" as I'd like to put it ($~30 000/year), I agree that for a good portion of the population every additional dollar decreases in importance exponentially. I'll clarify this point in graphical form. However, your upbringing and maybe genetics do decide your satisfaction line, so for some people it's quite a bit higher than others. Additionally, the country/environment, and to a certain extent your social circles, also influences just how much money directly translates into happiness. For me, unfortunately, my upbringing and also the revoltingly materialistic environment that I live in (China) have put my comfort line quite a bit higher than others. I only make about 180 000 RMB, or just under 30K USD per year. With purchasing power parity considered, that gets raised to about 60K USD per year which still isn't much by my standards. Moreover, as I posted in the this guy's girl blog http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=350652 , I am also going through a tough time due to the fact that I am absolutely in LOVE with someone who probably doesn't love me back. My thoughts spontaneously jump to her at least a few dozen times a day, and I'm tortured by the fact that she's also my co-worker and good friend so telling her how I really feel is a complicated and delicate matter. We spend at least 50 hours a week sitting 2 feet away from each other so awkward fuckups are something that I try my best to avoid. The main issue here though, is surely again, that I just don't have enough bills in my wallet. She's a really good person with a HUGE heart, but her education and upbringing has shaped her to want someone older who can provide her with a more comfortable lifestyle. I guess what I'm trying to say is, although money can't directly buy you love, it creates endless possibilities for initiating new relationships and security for maintaining existing ones. I haven't quit my job yet but I've been drowning myself in data (econ and finance major boohoo) for the past few days trying to find out if I'd make it in the jade market. Fueled by a lot of Beethoven and Rachmaninoff mixing in a little bit of Eminem, it's time to get down. In the words of Eminem, Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?
That is not a good person with a huge heart, that is a woman who will suck your life away given enough time. Danger! Danger! Danger!
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EPT
