EPTIf you're looking for perfect, it ain't out there bud.
[Girl Blog] Need help deciding - Page 2
| Blogs > An Ornery Owl |
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Zorkmid
4410 Posts
If you're looking for perfect, it ain't out there bud. | ||
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Garnet
Vietnam9022 Posts
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GoSuChicken
Germany1726 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
As for the "beta" comment, you're a complex human being! Feel free to reduce yourself to a four letter word if you like, but I guarantee you that it is a completely and utterly useless limiting belief. Your mind is clearly a relentless symbolic labeling machine;.. tame the beast!! | ||
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Drizzt3
United States189 Posts
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Drizzt3
United States189 Posts
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sc4k
United Kingdom5454 Posts
All other 'solutions' are half-solutions, this is the only way. One day in your life you will learn this, all men learn this, the only question is how long will it be 'til you learn to control your fear and jump this hurdle! Good luck. | ||
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McKTenor13
United States1383 Posts
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PartyBiscuit
Canada4525 Posts
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Monsen
Germany2548 Posts
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Th1rdEye
United States1074 Posts
The way you talk about it, you make it sound pretty foolish. Just imagine if they read this blog you are writing, lol. And imagine when they heard you call yourself a "beta". I am not the best guy to give advice, but sometimes coming from someone else it's much easier to hear.. but, I think that you should analyze what you want from a relationship and analyze your feelings. This girl you have been pining over.. we've all had that girl..chances are she doesn't exactly notice you because she's probably crushing hard on some other guy just like you are over her. If it was mutual, you'd be able to tell.. In the meantime, you have a girl that you think likes you that you know better than the other. Don't force anything because you will regret it if you don't really want it. It's nearly impossible to "change" somebody by force. Granted, you can change people you enter relationships with but usually it's through them seeing your good qualities and adapting, or possibly even bad I suppose, but you can't specifically want to change someone like it's a project. However, if you think you like this "girl X" as you call her, then get to know her. But remember, no one's forcing you to pick either. Maybe girl "Y" is the real girl for you, you just have to be patient. I've had my share of crushes, a lot of times I realize in the end that the girl I was trying to get wasn't the right one for me anyway. TLDR: Keep an open mind. Forcing things in any way has never worked for me, and only by being free and open minded have I had good luck with women | ||
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jabberwockzerg
United States294 Posts
1: Get $1000000 2: Do Both girls at the Same time. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32071 Posts
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English
United States475 Posts
I'll be honest, I don't think you're going to go with any "plan". I can only assume that the poll in this blog will let you feel better about not doing anything, and continue excusing yourself for being a "beta". You put her on a pedestal by pining over her for two years, but then say she's not perfect. Who's perfect, and are you completely turned off by her lack of caring towards politics and taste in music? Assuming you're in your teens (due to saying you were an adolescent), most people in this age group are not into politics. It's not a bad thing, but it's safe to say that you're in the minority. If you really care as much about politics as you emphasize (again, assuming since the ",etc." usually means you can't think of anything else -- I do it all the time), then maybe it won't work out. Or maybe it will? It just seems like you're looking for excuses to remain a beta and continue admiring from afar. It's fun to theorycraft, which is probably what you're doing here, and so no actions are going to be done. You'll continue to find imperfections and justify your inaction while at the same time continue think she's out of your league. And thinking about changing her? Why would you do that, just because she doesn't care for politics and have your taste in music? The best you can do is make her aware of your interests and have her decide for herself. If you're looking for a relationship (which I assume you are because she needs to have the same interests as you), then what's wrong with her not caring about politics and preferring different music (aka having a personality)? Chances are she's normal, and nothing wrong with her. TL;DR: All theorycraft. Just go out and do something, anything. You're thinking way too far ahead. Do some work, then you can make real decisions. | ||
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Elegance
Canada917 Posts
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LeafMeAlone
United States301 Posts
I think if you look hard enough, you might find someone that has the same interests as you and clicks better with you. Basically what everybody else is saying. | ||
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Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
On June 29 2012 18:54 An Ornery Owl wrote: First thing to ask is am I shallow for liking girls that are attractive? I'm going to confidently answer my own questions and say that it's fine because I'm an adolescent. More like "it's fine because we're human". There's nothing wrong with this. Everyone has an individual "type" they find attractive. It only becomes a problem if that's the only thing you ever see. I don't care if she's a supermodel, if she acts like the devil incarnate then you probably won't want to date her. You will still find her attractive, but you won't want anything to do with her unless you're horny. If you're looking to find a good girlfriend then height, weight, and cup size should come long after how she treats you, how well you get along, and how much fun you have with her. If you instantly write a woman off because she's not a size 2 or doesn't have long hair then yes, you are indeed shallow. If you have the choice to date two women and you choose the hotter one based on looks alone then you're probably shallow as well. However, becoming infatuated with a pretty face? That's not shallow, but if you never look beyond that pretty face then you're really doing her whole character an injustice. Edit: The problem with X is that she isn't perfect. Granted she is more real than the girl I barely know, but some things bother me. For one she doesn't take things that I take seriously as serious as I do - politics, etc. I think I'm shallow for this because her taste of music is pretty bad to me and that is like a major "urgh" thing for me. However, I think if we were to get together 1 day I can change her to suit MY preferences. ( So bad because I'm only using her for dat face ) RED FLAG!!!!!! You can NEVER change anyone. You can introduce them to new things and see if they like it themselves, but you can't say "Hey, stop liking X because I think it's annoying". The only person who can change her is her, not you. Even attempting something like this is controlling, manipulative, and downright abusive. Anyway, take a moment and think of the things that you MUST have in common to be together. I'm not talking "liking the things you like". These are your "standards". For example, I will never date a woman who is closed minded. I will also never consider dating a woman who is struggling with hard emotional issues and refuses to get professional help. It's ok if there's not a lot of these, but if you have a whole bunch then your standards may be too high. Some of these are ideals while some of them are borne out of bad experiences. Just be careful with what you think is truly important because I know far too many people who describe their perfect match as themselves. If something is bugging you that isn't part of the list then try and let it go. My current girlfriend loves country music, for example. I HATE country music. My ex-girlfriend constantly listened to Top 40 (urgh). When it comes down to it, taste in music pales in comparison to bigger issues, like closed-mindedness. Finally, every once and a while a woman will challenge one of your standards. I'm currently dating an apathetic Buddhist when before I told myself I'd only date a practicing Christian. If you find yourself in such a situation just give it time - see if it's as big a deal as you originally thought. | ||
FlaShFTW
United States10179 Posts
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An Ornery Owl
6 Posts
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
On June 30 2012 01:28 Elegance wrote: Most girl blog problems can be solved by taking a look at yourself and changing/improving. This definitely applies to this blog Actually, most of these girl blog problems can be solved by manning up. | ||
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