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Yet another girl blog

Blogs > Arcanefrost
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Arcanefrost
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium1257 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-07-28 15:55:16
May 13 2012 12:25 GMT
#1
Edit: Basically I was just an overdramatizing idiot.


***
Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.
Shock710
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia6097 Posts
May 13 2012 12:35 GMT
#2
Well maybe her kissing the other random guy was just cause shes really drunk, it doesnt have to mean anything u can still ask her out, and update on what happens tmr would be nice too!
Goodluck man, hope everything sorts itself out and u come out on top
dAPhREAk gives Shock a * | [23:55] <Shock710> that was out of context -_- [16:26] <@motbob> Good question, Shock!
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-05-13 12:40:22
May 13 2012 12:39 GMT
#3
Can't say I've been in this exact situation, but I've come pretty close.

First off is she dating the second guy? If not it makes your job a little bit easier.

You're gonna have to start by adapting a new personality. Think about what you want from yourself in terms of getting over her/getting her. Then pretend to be that person. The one thing I actually learned from health class is that any habit, big or small, after 21 days will be extremely hard to get rid of. Be more alpha, maybe try and get a rebound girl while you're doing this, it helps a lot. So give yourself three weeks of time and become a better, newer you.

Next up, are you actually flirting with her when you spend time w/ her? If not there's your problem. If yes then as awesome as her personality sounds, she might be a little like Isabelle here:

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Probably not that obvious, but you get the point. Anyways, if you know she's single and willing then go in there full steam. No hesitation. At this point your new personality should be your only personality. Use that to your advantage. And report the results
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
Sacrieur
Profile Joined May 2012
United States32 Posts
May 13 2012 12:45 GMT
#4
She's trash, you shouldn't bother with her.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45024 Posts
May 13 2012 13:11 GMT
#5
Maybe the new random douchebag was just a drunken rebound and meant nothing? Be happy you weren't that guy.

Regardless, you need to tell her how you feel before something really takes off with anyone else. Either you get rejected (which is what you feel now anyway) or she realizes that she should give you a try.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Imperium11
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States279 Posts
May 13 2012 13:51 GMT
#6
Regardless of her situation with the other dude, you should wait awhile (like quite a while - a month at the very least) before doing with her if only for the sake of not being her rebound. From what it sounds like, you want to be more than that, and that's great, but you need to LET yourself be more than that by not rushing into things right after her breakup. If you're still interested a month or two from now, then go for it, but don't do yourself in by being too hasty (listen to Treebeard).

RedJustice
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States1004 Posts
May 13 2012 13:55 GMT
#7
Wow. If I could shake you by the shoulders and say "Get a grip!" I would. Wth is this? She kissed a guy, and without even talking to her your heart is shattered? You don't know she doesn't care about you. She very well could. So:

1. Remember that a kiss doesn't mean a lot. She is single, getting over a relationship, and out at a club. Maybe she wants to feel that she is attractive again after getting out of a relationship. It tends to be more believable when random strangers find you attractive than when people you're close with tell you that you are. Maybe it feels like revenge in her mind. Maybe she was just drunk. Maybe she wants to revel in the fact that she can do whatever she wants cause she's single. The kiss really doesn't say much about her feelings for you ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU DIDN'T TELL HER. What if she likes you and thinks you don't like her?

2. Calm down. If you approach her in your current state about this, you will probably come across aggressive and accusatory, which is a huge turn off. How dare she kiss this douche, or even like another asshole? Welllll.... how dare you ask her that? You have also worked yourself up to a state of high dram and heartbreak, which could totally blindside her, and just lead to a massive fight.

3. Tell her how you feel about HER, not the kiss at the club (unless it's something like: when I saw you making out with that other guy I realized how much I care about you and... *insert how wonderful she is for so many reasons*). Be prepared if she says she wants to be single for a while. Respect it. If she makes out with more guys at a club, that's her business, and that's not what you're after anyway. Wait for her to get the breakup and singleness out of her system, and then maybe she will be ready to have you as a boyfriend, maybe not. On the other hand, be prepared for her to say how much she cares about you, and then you have a new girlfriend.

If it doesn't work out, then come back and make a dramatic heartbroken blog. As it stands you have nothing to really be heartbroken and dramatic about so far.
Qiang1446
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States92 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-05-13 14:01:43
May 13 2012 13:59 GMT
#8
This same exact thing happened to me... I had a girl, who we both got along so well with, and spent a lot of time together, next thing I know one of my good friends (not very good friends with the girl) tells me that he randomly hooked up with her and was sorry.. once I found out my entire stomach dropped, but I just said, "its all good, I don't care"

After that it just wasn't the same as if was before.. I mean we were still friends but it wasn't the same...

The best advice you'll get is tell her how you feel.. no matter how hard it is... its something I wish I did.... 5 years later I have a girlfriend, but I still wish I told this girl how I felt when I had the chance, and I get soooo jealous when I see her on facebook with other guys
Arcanefrost
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium1257 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-05-13 14:01:38
May 13 2012 14:01 GMT
#9
That actually makes a lot of sense. I hope you're right redjustice
Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.
RedJustice
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States1004 Posts
May 13 2012 14:10 GMT
#10
I re-read my post and I think I sound a little harsh, which I didn't mean to. Just try to stay positive and don't give up hope yet. In the mean-time, do something that cheers you up and makes you happy! :D It will help you calm down and feel better.
Arcanefrost
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium1257 Posts
May 13 2012 14:17 GMT
#11
It was exactly what I needed. Next time I'll jsut pm you instead of writing a blog yo :p
Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.
Mstring
Profile Joined September 2011
Australia510 Posts
May 13 2012 14:23 GMT
#12
On May 13 2012 21:45 Sacrieur wrote:
She's trash, you shouldn't bother with her.


This. Infact, I wouldn't even date a girl who makes eye contact before marriage! What a slut!

XD
Arcanefrost
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium1257 Posts
May 13 2012 14:53 GMT
#13
If it's worst case scenario and she's goign to date this guy, do you guys think I should just tell her how I feel right away, or wait a while?
Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.
run.at.me
Profile Joined December 2011
Australia550 Posts
May 13 2012 15:21 GMT
#14
na man, if you REALLY want a chance, give her space and don't fuck this up by looking like a control freak/jealous cunt/nutcase.
i know how u feel. you have every right to feel this way. but she just came out of a relationship and she might know that things with you would mean straight into another relationship.
U GOTTA PLAY IT SMART LAD, OR U WON'T HAVE A CHANCE.
thisll probably be the hardest thing ever. you'll want to be mad, but you have to not let it consume you. and don't try STAB her with passive/aggressive remarks - coz she knows what she did hurt your feelings and she'll be watching your behaviour.
just wait a bit. no girl likes being hassled/abused despite knowing she deserves it. this is where it takes the biggest balls.

GL
Dice17
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States520 Posts
May 13 2012 15:42 GMT
#15
I think you are blowing this way out of proportion. First of all you say you like her like you have been dating forever. Second of all you have to make a move. If other guys know how to pick up girls then thats the fact of like that they got to her before you.
GamaBear #1 Fan! Sen fighting~
Snowbear
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Korea (South)1925 Posts
May 13 2012 15:59 GMT
#16
Poor Pablo . It looks like she likes jerks. Is it me or is it kinda weird that she kisses random guys in a club? Isn't there a name for such girls? *cough* slut *cough*. If you don't mind that, then go for it, but here some small advice:
- NEVER EVER talk to girls about your feelings for her, unless she is already your girlfriend ofc.
- DON'T play too easy to get. Girls want a wild beautiful paradisebird, not one that desperately wants to get in their cage.
- Just hang out with her, enjoy it, and when she falls in love with you, you will notice (not in small hints, but in things as her texting you alot, her asking to hang out with you, her making more body contact, etc).

Good luck tawz!
metbull
Profile Joined April 2011
United States404 Posts
May 13 2012 16:38 GMT
#17
If there isn't a ring on her finger, she's fair game.
It doesn't sound like she's dating this guy (from the club). Possibly sounds like she was just looking for something to replace the empty feeling she had from her previous relationship; and you hadn't sacked up yet to take control.

Got your sack ready now?
GO FOR IT!!!!!
HardlyNever
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States1258 Posts
May 13 2012 16:51 GMT
#18
Sounds like classic "friendzone." She went for the "random guy" because he was showing interest, making a move, while you were just acting like a friend while secretly loving her or whatever. Spend less time plotting, thinking, planning and more time doing, and you'd have the girl probably. She probably thought YOU only wanted to be friends, or you would have made a move before then.

The thing is, you can probably still get with her, you just have to be more confident and more assertive and let her know how you feel, and show it in a confident (i.e non-grovely) way.
Out there, the Kid learned to fend for himself. Learned to build. Learned to break.
eXigent.
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Canada2419 Posts
May 13 2012 17:44 GMT
#19
You may think that all the good times you had, and all the laughs etc would be a natural lead up to eventually dating etc. However, women view it completely differently. Odds are she friendzoned you as soon as you two started laughing together alot and enjoying time together. She probably doesnt want to fuck with that, and values your friendship. Im like 99% sure you got friendzoned already, and most likely are not her "dating" type. Who knows, maybe she is really into the "bad boy" "douchbag" type?

Just flat out ask her if there could ever be anything more than just friendship between the 2 of you, rather than mope around acting super emo. Do the manly thing!! GL
fire_brand
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada1123 Posts
May 13 2012 17:50 GMT
#20
Do something.

Sounds like so far all you've done is been a friend. Of course things are going to turn out of like this if you don't act. You can't wait for the right time, or wait for the moment to be perfect, or the stars to align. You do that and you're going to miss the boat.

Obviously the guy at the club didn't mean anything and she's still in that emotional rebound state where she's going to act irrationally and will be easy to take advantage of. You need to stop moping around feeling sorry for yourself and bemoaning the injustices of the world. You need to call her up and arrange to see her, and then you have to either tell her how you feel or show her. Women are thick as bricks, they think if you don't act you're not interested. Time to do some acting.

Go get her.
Random player, pixel enthusiast, crappy illustrator, offlane/support
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