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Yet another girl blog
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Arcanefrost
Belgium1257 Posts
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Shock710
Australia6097 Posts
Goodluck man, hope everything sorts itself out and u come out on top | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
First off is she dating the second guy? If not it makes your job a little bit easier. You're gonna have to start by adapting a new personality. Think about what you want from yourself in terms of getting over her/getting her. Then pretend to be that person. The one thing I actually learned from health class is that any habit, big or small, after 21 days will be extremely hard to get rid of. Be more alpha, maybe try and get a rebound girl while you're doing this, it helps a lot. So give yourself three weeks of time and become a better, newer you. Next up, are you actually flirting with her when you spend time w/ her? If not there's your problem. If yes then as awesome as her personality sounds, she might be a little like Isabelle here: + Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://www.lolwtfcomics.com/upload/uploads/1324523800.jpg) Probably not that obvious, but you get the point. Anyways, if you know she's single and willing then go in there full steam. No hesitation. At this point your new personality should be your only personality. Use that to your advantage. And report the results  | ||
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Sacrieur
United States32 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45161 Posts
Regardless, you need to tell her how you feel before something really takes off with anyone else. Either you get rejected (which is what you feel now anyway) or she realizes that she should give you a try. | ||
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Imperium11
United States279 Posts
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RedJustice
United States1004 Posts
1. Remember that a kiss doesn't mean a lot. She is single, getting over a relationship, and out at a club. Maybe she wants to feel that she is attractive again after getting out of a relationship. It tends to be more believable when random strangers find you attractive than when people you're close with tell you that you are. Maybe it feels like revenge in her mind. Maybe she was just drunk. Maybe she wants to revel in the fact that she can do whatever she wants cause she's single. The kiss really doesn't say much about her feelings for you ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU DIDN'T TELL HER. What if she likes you and thinks you don't like her? 2. Calm down. If you approach her in your current state about this, you will probably come across aggressive and accusatory, which is a huge turn off. How dare she kiss this douche, or even like another asshole? Welllll.... how dare you ask her that? You have also worked yourself up to a state of high dram and heartbreak, which could totally blindside her, and just lead to a massive fight. 3. Tell her how you feel about HER, not the kiss at the club (unless it's something like: when I saw you making out with that other guy I realized how much I care about you and... *insert how wonderful she is for so many reasons*). Be prepared if she says she wants to be single for a while. Respect it. If she makes out with more guys at a club, that's her business, and that's not what you're after anyway. Wait for her to get the breakup and singleness out of her system, and then maybe she will be ready to have you as a boyfriend, maybe not. On the other hand, be prepared for her to say how much she cares about you, and then you have a new girlfriend. If it doesn't work out, then come back and make a dramatic heartbroken blog. As it stands you have nothing to really be heartbroken and dramatic about so far. | ||
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Qiang1446
United States92 Posts
After that it just wasn't the same as if was before.. I mean we were still friends but it wasn't the same... The best advice you'll get is tell her how you feel.. no matter how hard it is... its something I wish I did.... 5 years later I have a girlfriend, but I still wish I told this girl how I felt when I had the chance, and I get soooo jealous when I see her on facebook with other guys | ||
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Arcanefrost
Belgium1257 Posts
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RedJustice
United States1004 Posts
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Arcanefrost
Belgium1257 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On May 13 2012 21:45 Sacrieur wrote: She's trash, you shouldn't bother with her. This. Infact, I wouldn't even date a girl who makes eye contact before marriage! What a slut! XD | ||
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Arcanefrost
Belgium1257 Posts
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run.at.me
Australia550 Posts
i know how u feel. you have every right to feel this way. but she just came out of a relationship and she might know that things with you would mean straight into another relationship. U GOTTA PLAY IT SMART LAD, OR U WON'T HAVE A CHANCE. thisll probably be the hardest thing ever. you'll want to be mad, but you have to not let it consume you. and don't try STAB her with passive/aggressive remarks - coz she knows what she did hurt your feelings and she'll be watching your behaviour. just wait a bit. no girl likes being hassled/abused despite knowing she deserves it. this is where it takes the biggest balls. GL | ||
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Dice17
United States520 Posts
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Snowbear
Korea (South)1925 Posts
 . It looks like she likes jerks. Is it me or is it kinda weird that she kisses random guys in a club? Isn't there a name for such girls? *cough* slut *cough*. If you don't mind that, then go for it, but here some small advice:- NEVER EVER talk to girls about your feelings for her, unless she is already your girlfriend ofc. - DON'T play too easy to get. Girls want a wild beautiful paradisebird, not one that desperately wants to get in their cage. - Just hang out with her, enjoy it, and when she falls in love with you, you will notice (not in small hints, but in things as her texting you alot, her asking to hang out with you, her making more body contact, etc). Good luck tawz! | ||
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metbull
United States404 Posts
It doesn't sound like she's dating this guy (from the club). Possibly sounds like she was just looking for something to replace the empty feeling she had from her previous relationship; and you hadn't sacked up yet to take control. Got your sack ready now? GO FOR IT!!!!! | ||
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HardlyNever
United States1258 Posts
The thing is, you can probably still get with her, you just have to be more confident and more assertive and let her know how you feel, and show it in a confident (i.e non-grovely) way. | ||
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eXigent.
Canada2419 Posts
Just flat out ask her if there could ever be anything more than just friendship between the 2 of you, rather than mope around acting super emo. Do the manly thing!! GL | ||
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fire_brand
Canada1123 Posts
Sounds like so far all you've done is been a friend. Of course things are going to turn out of like this if you don't act. You can't wait for the right time, or wait for the moment to be perfect, or the stars to align. You do that and you're going to miss the boat. Obviously the guy at the club didn't mean anything and she's still in that emotional rebound state where she's going to act irrationally and will be easy to take advantage of. You need to stop moping around feeling sorry for yourself and bemoaning the injustices of the world. You need to call her up and arrange to see her, and then you have to either tell her how you feel or show her. Women are thick as bricks, they think if you don't act you're not interested. Time to do some acting. Go get her. | ||
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On May 14 2012 00:21 run.at.me wrote: despite knowing she deserves it. this is where it takes the biggest balls. Deserves it? What exactly did the girl in the OP do to "deserve" it? -- It's certainly not her fault that his [SILENT] expectations were crushed. | ||
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Arcanefrost
Belgium1257 Posts
Well, apprently I was indeed being an overdramatizing idiot because she isn't gonna date the guy at all! However, she doesn't seem ready for something serious yet either, so I guess we're back to where we were before. I can defintely live with that for now. Big thanks to everyone really, I wasn't thinking straight and definetly needed your help to pull my shit together | ||
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Thrill
2599 Posts
On May 13 2012 21:25 Arcanefrost wrote: We were like Rachel and Ross from Friends, just two people who are so obviously great together. We were both gonna be at the same party, so I planned on kissing her there. Only after half an hour there she was making out with a random douchebag who she barely knew (I don't even know him at all, but you can instantly see that he is a massive jerk by the way he acts). My heart just broke. You're kidding with this right? Remember Paolo from Friends? 1. She has no idea you feel this way. 2. She has no idea you were "planning on kissing her that night". It's literally the exact same situation. | ||
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RedJustice
United States1004 Posts
 Anyway, glad it is working out (so far). Even if the relationship was crappy everyone needs some time to move on, and it's probably best for both of you in the long run if she takes her time. Glad you are feeling better, and crossing my fingers for you. ^^ | ||
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qrs
United States3637 Posts
On May 13 2012 21:25 Arcanefrost wrote: You should pay for that.I smashed the bathroom mirror out of anger (sorry club owner). | ||
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beetlelisk
Poland2276 Posts
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
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beetlelisk
Poland2276 Posts
On May 15 2012 12:52 obesechicken13 wrote: You'll regret it when she gets another bf No shit sherlock :/ how about saying something actually constructive like other posters did? | ||
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
Okay regarding the actual girl or the girl problem, rather, so she drunk-made-out with some random douchebag and you felt bad. Both understandable. The fact that she had that moment of sadness in her eyes (which could have been your imagination but I'll take your word that it was for real) also works both ways - she was conscious enough to notice who you are and have a moment of recollection, but that also means she was "conscious" while making out with a random dude. Whatever. You've got to control your anger better (smashing shit doesn't solve the problem), and you've got to make your intent clear to her. Don't rush things, but don't expect her to make everything better by herself either. Good luck! | ||
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Otolia
France5805 Posts
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Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
On May 15 2012 03:44 Arcanefrost wrote: So I owe you guys an update for helping me thorugh my breakdown :p Well, apprently I was indeed being an overdramatizing idiot because she isn't gonna date the guy at all! However, she doesn't seem ready for something serious yet either, so I guess we're back to where we were before. I can defintely live with that for now. Big thanks to everyone really, I wasn't thinking straight and definetly needed your help to pull my shit together Seems like I missed the party. After reading the OP I was going to say something to the effect of "She's rebounding; give it time". Now I have one question: Did you tell her how you felt? It sounds like you may have, or you could have asked if she's dating the dude from the party. Both would give the same information. Ultimately it would be good if she knows where you stand (sounds like you're willing to give her time to recover from the breakup) so you don't go through the same thing months from now when a new guy comes around. | ||
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Carson
Canada820 Posts
yeah, dang. If it were me, I'd offer to pay for it, because that's a douche-move. Otherwise, I wish you the best. | ||
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Arcanefrost
Belgium1257 Posts
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0ne
Spain2464 Posts
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Arcanefrost
Belgium1257 Posts
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