EPTA terrible situation (girl blog) - Page 2
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
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khaydarin9
Australia423 Posts
On April 19 2012 14:34 DYEAlabaster wrote: Some people have been in the situation he is putting his gf. Others of us think that he's kind of an idiot for saying "I know my girlfriend probably wouldn't like the idea of me sleeping with someone else, but I'm 'sad' that the girl I've been cheating on my girlfriend with is sleeping with someone else." | ||
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pedostare
United States31 Posts
You are not a nice guy. Do you understand that? You know exactly how to deal with this situation; you just don't want to. The reality of this situation is that there is no guilt free, good solution for you. No matter what you do you're going to come out looking like a giant asshole because you are one. You deserve to feel guilty. You deserve to feel ashamed. You deserve for all the people around you to know exactly what kind of person you are. And maybe, after all of this, you won't screw up your next relationship. On another note, my bets are that this other woman isn't as great as you think she is. Have you ever heard of the 80-20 rule? It's when you're dating someone who has 80% of the things you're looking for, yet you leave them for someone with the other 20%. Once you're with the 20%-person you realize that's all they are, the 20% you thought you were missing. But you make it sound like the only reason you haven't broken up with your gf is because the other girl probably doesn't want you. ....which makes you even more terrible. You should save your girlfriend the trouble and break up with her. You're clearly only in a relationship with her because you can't find anything better. She deserves to be with someone who values her as a person and won't cheat on her the first time someone "hotter" gives her SO the opportunity. Also, you are a terrible person. | ||
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G_G
Canada178 Posts
You tell your girl friend that you want to have a Ménage à trois with her and her roommate. This course of action will have a two-pronged effect. Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause her to recoil in digust, whereupon she will insist that you remove yourself from the premises. At this point, it is enevitable that she will seek out the room mate to apprise her of this abhorred turn of events. Her room mate will then offer her the requisite sympathy, even as part of her cannot help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in the unsual request. Let a few days go by, and then call the room mate when your girl friend is known to be busy at school. Once the initial awkwardness is relieved, a little playful humor (which she of course cannot resist), proffer an invitation to a friendly dinner. It's the perfect plan. Devious and simple. | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
On April 19 2012 15:14 G_G wrote: So you want to make "the switch"? Easy. You tell your girl friend that you want to have a Ménage à trois with her and her roommate. This course of action will have a two-pronged effect. Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause her to recoil in digust, whereupon she will insist that you remove yourself from the premises. At this point, it is enevitable that she will seek out the room mate to apprise her of this abhorred turn of events. Her room mate will then offer her the requisite sympathy, even as part of her cannot help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in the unsual request. Let a few days go by, and then call the room mate when your girl friend is known to be busy at school. Once the initial awkwardness is relieved, a little playful humor (which she of course cannot resist), proffer an invitation to a friendly dinner. It's the perfect plan. Devious and simple. way to rip off seinfeld On April 19 2012 15:08 pedostare wrote: ... You are not a nice guy. Do you understand that? You know exactly how to deal with this situation; you just don't want to. The reality of this situation is that there is no guilt free, good solution for you. No matter what you do you're going to come out looking like a giant asshole because you are one. You deserve to feel guilty. You deserve to feel ashamed. You deserve for all the people around you to know exactly what kind of person you are. And maybe, after all of this, you won't screw up your next relationship. On another note, my bets are that this other woman isn't as great as you think she is. Have you ever heard of the 80-20 rule? It's when you're dating someone who has 80% of the things you're looking for, yet you leave them for someone with the other 20%. Once you're with the 20%-person you realize that's all they are, the 20% you thought you were missing. But you make it sound like the only reason you haven't broken up with your gf is because the other girl probably doesn't want you. ....which makes you even more terrible. You should save your girlfriend the trouble and break up with her. You're clearly only in a relationship with her because you can't find anything better. She deserves to be with someone who values her as a person and won't cheat on her the first time someone "hotter" gives her SO the opportunity. Also, you are a terrible person. Doing one wrong thing in your life doesn't make you a terrible person. It's easy to get on a high horse and look down on others for cheating or fucking up in their relationships but chances are you haven't gone through life without ever hurting or betraying somebodies trust. | ||
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cmen15
United States1519 Posts
On April 19 2012 13:52 slam wrote: Definitely leave your girlfriend, I'm not saying you need to tell her the truth, but if she knew how you felt she definitely would not want to stay with you, most likely. You could always just be her friend cause if she's emotional and stressed out that's what she needs, not a boyfriend who cheats on her and gets irritated when she needs help with something. As for girl 2 I do not know. Tell her how you feel? lol I agree with this guy 100%, you should feel pretty bad for letting it get this far. If things were getting bad for you then leave... By you staying with her you have made this hundred times worse. sry man | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
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FFGenerations
7088 Posts
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don_kyuhote
3006 Posts
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DefMatrixUltra
Canada1992 Posts
On April 19 2012 15:35 DoctorHelvetica wrote: i don't think this is evidence that you are a bad person but just a wuss who is too afraid to break off a relationship you know isn't going anywhere so you do the sneaky thing and sleep with this other girl because youre too afraid to tell your gf how you really feel If someone is willingly and knowingly causing undeserved pain or grief to others, where is the line drawn between being a "bad person" or not? This seems like a semantic problem. He's not an utterly completely through-and-through bad person in every aspect of his life from the point until he was born up until his eventual death. What pedostare is saying is that, right now at this very moment, what he's doing is being a giant fucking asshole and setting everyone around him up for grief. In this situation, calling someone a bad person isn't a condemnation for all time. It's just calling things what they are - in the present. OP, you are not a nice guy. Being a coward, like DoctorHelvetica asserts, does not excuse anything. You can't rationalize away the fact that at some point in the future, your current girlfriend will be hurt badly, the relationship between your girlfriend and her roommate will be hurt badly, and the vast majority of the blame will fall on your shoulders (whether you acknowledge it or not). You are not a nice guy. | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
It's not presumptuous to say what he's doing now is wrong but it's out of place to say he's a bad person or not generally nice because of this one bad thing he has done. It does seem like he's trying to avoid blame which falls on him but the sooner op can accept that he's done something wrong and correct it the sooner he can move on and redeem itself. There are far worse things you can do than sleeping with another girl. It's pretty clear he's doing it because he is unhappy in the relationship in which case he should have just ended it earlier. I don't see it as that big of a deal. What is more troubling to me is that he is too insecure to leave the relationship and has to hide things in the first place | ||
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Myrkskog
Canada481 Posts
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Battleaxe
United States843 Posts
On April 19 2012 16:24 Myrkskog wrote: This is pretty much the perfect recipe for a threesome. Don't squander it. All the moral parts of me say "NO NO NO" to this statement, but all the private parts of me say "WTFOMGYES!" With that said, def break up with your girlfriend, might as well keep sleeping with the other girl if you still want to get laid and she'll let it go down but in all honesty you should get blacklisted by both of them, and I wouldn't recommend it. However, once you break up with your gf I would offer a threesome. You're going to look like a asshole either way, and if you don't intend ending up in either person's life long term (which from your op does not seem like you will), you might as well give it a shot. | ||
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PiGStarcraft
Australia979 Posts
Also this roommate girl if she's a good friend of your girlfriends sounds like she has no fucking care for her friends and is pretty much a piece of shit. Btw the way you're comparing this other girl as "an upgrade" means you don't have serious feelings for either and are viewing them as something you "get". This isn't the 60s and while some women are happy to have that sort of relationship I wouldn't be seen dead with a girl like that. You're quite young at 20 so I can understand you don't have that much experience with adult relationships and the idea of getting a hot chick is ingrained in your mind from tv and culture in general. But remember that sure one girl fucks better then the other, but if you find a girl you actually have a proper relationship with and both love each other then the sex will be 10x better and you won't give a shit about any of that superficial crap. As some people said above, good people can do bad things and get caught in a bad action. If they man up and face up to it they remain good people, but if they hide from it and avoid it they become the wimpering turds that we all hate. Right now in this action you're being a turd, come back to being a good person dude. | ||
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Tobberoth
Sweden6375 Posts
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Tobberoth
Sweden6375 Posts
On April 19 2012 16:07 DoctorHelvetica wrote: Nice people can do bad things. If he's nice in most aspects of his life and makes one mistake or wrongs someone a few times are we to assume he's rotten or wicked? It's not presumptuous to say what he's doing now is wrong but it's out of place to say he's a bad person or not generally nice because of this one bad thing he has done. It does seem like he's trying to avoid blame which falls on him but the sooner op can accept that he's done something wrong and correct it the sooner he can move on and redeem itself. There are far worse things you can do than sleeping with another girl. It's pretty clear he's doing it because he is unhappy in the relationship in which case he should have just ended it earlier. I don't see it as that big of a deal. What is more troubling to me is that he is too insecure to leave the relationship and has to hide things in the first place You would probably realize what the big deal was if someone you cared about ever cheated on you. It's not a nice experience. | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
On April 19 2012 17:18 Tobberoth wrote: You would probably realize what the big deal was if someone you cared about ever cheated on you. It's not a nice experience. Of course it's a terrible feeling. I have been through it and life went on and I don't hate that person for making the mistake that she made. I moved on too to a relationship that's much better. The reason it happened to me is because it wasn't a good relationship and I'm glad it's over now. Wish it was over before she cheated on me but I think she was otherwise a nice girl who deserves to be happy. You can't boil someones life or character down to a single error they've made. I think I'm much more forgiving than the average person though. | ||
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Chunhyang
Bangladesh1389 Posts
I think you already know that you have to break up wit your GF. But how? Don't do it suddenly. And don't bring up the roommate as a reason. What's your goal? To end a relationship as smoothly as possible. But timing means a lot. Choose a time where the emotional effect won't be too harsh on her. You owe her that for acting like a jerk, at least. But if you can't do the above? Take Battleaxe's suggestion 2 or 3 posts above mine. Go for the threesome. It may end up improving the relationship among you three a hundred fold in fact. /jk edit: To other posters. I second Helvetica. We all know decent people who've made mistakes. Big ones too. The OP may be a good guy after all, despite being such a wank with his GF. | ||
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run.at.me
Australia550 Posts
the gf sounds like a chick who just leeches and is way to needy, and your relationship probably fell apart before you cheated anyway, the fact that you didn't have the balls to dump her earlier either suggest you're a) a decent guy and didn't want to hurt her feeligns so you stuck around OR b) ur just an insecure sucker who hates being alone, so when you knew you should have dumped her in the first place, for selfish reasons you kept her around.\\ either case, the one and only solution is to break up with the girlfriend, because no matter how you look at it, you don't deserve her, regardless if she is the best chick ever or just a massive donkey. its the rulez brah if you think the chick ur rooting at the moment is about to fuck some other douchebag on her date (first date fuck?) she sounds like a bit of a slurry anyway, and this is reinforced by the fact she was rooting you while u were with your gf. I wouldnt put any eggs in that basket, she sounds like she just loves a bit of cock and you were keen to provide it. enjyo the excitement while it lasts, i dont know hwo long u were with your gf for but it doesnt sound like 'love', so she also needs to just grow a pair and stop being such a needy bitch and get on with life. Breaking up with her will make her stronger, she won't break down and kill herself or anything, she'll survive. so it's your turn to man up and pull the trigger on this so called relationship | ||
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