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So I'm 20, in school, i have a girlfriend, but i've also been sleeping with her roommate for a couple months now. Her roommate is more attractive, less needy, smarter, and fits my personality much more, she likes video games, is in love with a certain Mr. Day[9] (who isn't), better in bed, pretty much an upgrade in every way as cruel as that sounds. But anyway, My girlfriend has emotional issues, she's super attached and incredibly stressed out by her major which is providing her with many hours of work every day. I'm already an asshole for sleeping with her roommate, but i don't want to be an even bigger asshole and dump her for her roommate. Pretty much i can't date the other girl if i break up with my girlfriend. Because apparently my conscious can only be overridden in a few bursts a day (no pun intended) i am stuck in this awkward situation.
But on to the part that just makes shit worse for me. Girl 2 is on a date with some guy tonight, and they are probably screwing right now to be honest. It's kind of killing me. Because i definitely have feelings for her but i know that i both can't tell her or act on them and try to pursue a relationship. My girlfriend has been going through one of the most stressful times of her life, and all i can think about is her roommate, i've gotten incredibly irritated my girlfriend lately, unable to help her with any problems without wanting to yell, i don't i just walk away, but definitely not helping anything.
I'm a "nice guy" so having multiple girls is not something i'm too accustomed to, nor something i really meant to happen. It also means i'm going to feel incredibly guilty if i decide to try with girl 2, and feel really depressed if i stay with my girlfriend. I'm contemplating just dumping my girlfriend, keeping the casual sex with girl 2, and moving on with college for a little while. It's definitely an attempt to get out of a negative relationship, and still keep my positive one, but i really don't know how to make it work properly. Anyone have a BO for this? Or maybe some of the more cassanovesque TLers have some good stories to share to educate me?
TL;DR screwing 2 girls generally a bad idea.
Damn, i broke down and made a girl blog, guess i know it's gotten bad.
 
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From your behaviour, you don't really deserve to be dating either of them. Or anyone else, for that matter. Walking away from everyone is about the best thing you can do right now.
You're cheating on a girl with another girl, and it's pissing you off that the second girl is sleeping with someone else? You need a reality check.
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On April 19 2012 13:41 khaydarin9 wrote:
From your behaviour, you don't really deserve to be dating either of them. Or anyone else, for that matter. Walking away from everyone is about the best thing you can do right now.
You're cheating on a girl with another girl, and it's pissing you off that the second girl is sleeping with someone else? You need a reality check.
no just making me sad 
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Russian Federation3631 Posts
nor something i really meant to happen.
I did laugh IRL when I got to this part. "Its not my fault, I'm a nice guy, really, its just like, I was waylaid by feminine wiles and all!"
I recommend not inflicting yourself on women.
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On April 19 2012 13:43 PrinceXizor wrote:Show nested quote +On April 19 2012 13:41 khaydarin9 wrote:
From your behaviour, you don't really deserve to be dating either of them. Or anyone else, for that matter. Walking away from everyone is about the best thing you can do right now.
You're cheating on a girl with another girl, and it's pissing you off that the second girl is sleeping with someone else? You need a reality check. no just making me sad
I dont think you even have the right to be sad, at this point. You cannot win in this situation.
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Definitely leave your girlfriend, I'm not saying you need to tell her the truth, but if she knew how you felt she definitely would not want to stay with you, most likely. You could always just be her friend cause if she's emotional and stressed out that's what she needs, not a boyfriend who cheats on her and gets irritated when she needs help with something.
As for girl 2 I do not know. Tell her how you feel? lol
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Dunk your head in cold water and slap yourself with a fish.
You're a fucking asshole.
Cheating is NEVER ok under ANY circumstances. Do you even realize the kind of emotional devastation that you're putting your gf through? You say you've been doing this for months! Grow up! Man up, break up with her, tell her you've been unfaithful (she WILL find out eventually, better to come clean), and gtfo of her life. That means leaving her room-mate well enough alone.
You deserve way more pain and misery than you say you're in. Accept that and grow the fuck up.
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Who on earth walks around and tells men all that crap that girls are made of sugar and let their life get ruined by every random guy they date at age twenty ?!
We are not made of sugar. We don't wear pink all the time and are so horribly naive that we just don't see when a relationship is not working out anymore.
Your GF may be emotionally attached to you and be stressed out by her studies, but keeping her in that passive-aggressive suspense is about the most stupid thing I've heard anyone do lately. It's not nice of you, it's belitteling her and keeping her from getting over you and on with her life for the better. She will be mad at you, she won't talk to you and it is also possible that she's going to tell every girl she knows that you have a tiny Johnson once she finds out about that roommate-thingy, but she won't die of it.
TL;DR: Stop cheating by ending the relationship with your GF. Seriously.
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You're a dick. Feel bad! D:<
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End the relationship, and don't date girl two. If she is willing to sleep with you while your dating her roommate and what I assume would be her friend it doesn't sound like the recipe for a stable relationship. Take a break and bone everything you can, sounds like what you want to be doing anyways.
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On April 19 2012 13:41 khaydarin9 wrote:
From your behaviour, you don't really deserve to be dating either of them. Or anyone else, for that matter. Walking away from everyone is about the best thing you can do right now.
You're cheating on a girl with another girl, and it's pissing you off that the second girl is sleeping with someone else? You need a reality check.
To be fair, his "needy" girlfriend is most likely cheating on him with another guy - that's usually how those needy types are.
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Break up and keep it casual with the roommate. Ignore all the jealous posters telling you how much of an asshole you are, cheating's pretty common and can just happen (especially if the girl's interested in you, more compatible and hotter). It's not like you're married with kids. You're 20. You just don't want to hurt the first girl but it's unavoidable at this point.
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On April 19 2012 14:17 Scarecrow wrote:
Break up and keep it casual with the roommate. Ignore all the jealous posters telling you how much of an asshole you are, cheating's pretty common and can just happen (especially if the girl's interested in you, more compatible and hotter). It's not like you're married with kids. You're 20. You just don't want to hurt the first girl but it's unavoidable at this point.
Some of those "jealous posters" have been in similar situations, or perhaps on the other side. If you're a normal human being, the second that something like cheating happens or is threatened, you fucking break up immediately. Don't keep going for months then proceed to whine about your own sadness. That's pretty sick.
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On April 19 2012 14:17 Scarecrow wrote:
Break up and keep it casual with the roommate. Ignore all the jealous posters telling you how much of an asshole you are, cheating's pretty common and can just happen (especially if the girl's interested in you, more compatible and hotter). It's not like you're married with kids. You're 20. You just don't want to hurt the first girl but it's unavoidable at this point.
you are setting yourself up to hurt girl 1, and girl 2 is probably just going to hurt you. Might as well rip the band aid off now before it gets stuck on there too bad
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Canada11310 Posts
but i don't want to be an even bigger asshole and dump her for her roommate. Pretty much i can't date the other girl if i break up with my girlfriend. Because apparently my conscious can only be overridden in a few bursts a day (no pun intended) i am stuck in this awkward situation.
I don't think this is your conscious speaking.
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Just stick it out with your girlfriend. Shes gonna graduate and then get a PHD and then rake in $$$ and you guys can live happy ever after.
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Holy shit some people are infuriated at the OP.
I think it's best to drop everything and leave.
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On April 19 2012 14:30 Thaniri wrote:
Holy shit some people are infuriated at the OP.
I think it's best to drop everything and leave.
Some people have been in the situation he is putting his gf.
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On April 19 2012 13:32 PrinceXizor wrote:
I'm a "nice guy"
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On April 19 2012 13:32 PrinceXizor wrote:
screwing 2 girls
What the hell did I just read
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I always get a good laugh at these girl blogs. I reckon the OP, you should stick to your current gf.
Why? Because Girl 2 is probably just another slut TBH. There's a big difference between casual sex and being in a relationship with those type of women, plus you will end up being way more attached than you'd think (it's a bad thing) and thus won't end good. If Girl 2 is just going from cock to cock, no real money in it for you buddy.
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don't act like you just "accidentally" started fucking this other girl. you're doing it because you intended to. you probably shouldn't be with either girl if it is this difficult for you. start looking for girl 3 and make her girl 1.
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On April 19 2012 14:34 DYEAlabaster wrote:Show nested quote +On April 19 2012 14:30 Thaniri wrote:
Holy shit some people are infuriated at the OP.
I think it's best to drop everything and leave. Some people have been in the situation he is putting his gf.
Others of us think that he's kind of an idiot for saying "I know my girlfriend probably wouldn't like the idea of me sleeping with someone else, but I'm 'sad' that the girl I've been cheating on my girlfriend with is sleeping with someone else."
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...
You are not a nice guy. Do you understand that? You know exactly how to deal with this situation; you just don't want to. The reality of this situation is that there is no guilt free, good solution for you. No matter what you do you're going to come out looking like a giant asshole because you are one. You deserve to feel guilty. You deserve to feel ashamed. You deserve for all the people around you to know exactly what kind of person you are. And maybe, after all of this, you won't screw up your next relationship.
On another note, my bets are that this other woman isn't as great as you think she is. Have you ever heard of the 80-20 rule? It's when you're dating someone who has 80% of the things you're looking for, yet you leave them for someone with the other 20%. Once you're with the 20%-person you realize that's all they are, the 20% you thought you were missing.
But you make it sound like the only reason you haven't broken up with your gf is because the other girl probably doesn't want you. ....which makes you even more terrible. You should save your girlfriend the trouble and break up with her. You're clearly only in a relationship with her because you can't find anything better. She deserves to be with someone who values her as a person and won't cheat on her the first time someone "hotter" gives her SO the opportunity.
Also, you are a terrible person.
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So you want to make "the switch"? Easy.
You tell your girl friend that you want to have a Ménage à trois with her and her roommate. This course of action will have a two-pronged effect.
Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause her to recoil in digust, whereupon she will insist that you remove yourself from the premises. At this point, it is enevitable that she will seek out the room mate to apprise her of this abhorred turn of events.
Her room mate will then offer her the requisite sympathy, even as part of her cannot help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in the unsual request.
Let a few days go by, and then call the room mate when your girl friend is known to be busy at school. Once the initial awkwardness is relieved, a little playful humor (which she of course cannot resist), proffer an invitation to a friendly dinner.
It's the perfect plan. Devious and simple.
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On April 19 2012 15:14 G_G wrote:
So you want to make "the switch"? Easy.
You tell your girl friend that you want to have a Ménage à trois with her and her roommate. This course of action will have a two-pronged effect.
Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause her to recoil in digust, whereupon she will insist that you remove yourself from the premises. At this point, it is enevitable that she will seek out the room mate to apprise her of this abhorred turn of events.
Her room mate will then offer her the requisite sympathy, even as part of her cannot help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in the unsual request.
Let a few days go by, and then call the room mate when your girl friend is known to be busy at school. Once the initial awkwardness is relieved, a little playful humor (which she of course cannot resist), proffer an invitation to a friendly dinner.
It's the perfect plan. Devious and simple.
way to rip off seinfeld
On April 19 2012 15:08 pedostare wrote:
...
You are not a nice guy. Do you understand that? You know exactly how to deal with this situation; you just don't want to. The reality of this situation is that there is no guilt free, good solution for you. No matter what you do you're going to come out looking like a giant asshole because you are one. You deserve to feel guilty. You deserve to feel ashamed. You deserve for all the people around you to know exactly what kind of person you are. And maybe, after all of this, you won't screw up your next relationship.
On another note, my bets are that this other woman isn't as great as you think she is. Have you ever heard of the 80-20 rule? It's when you're dating someone who has 80% of the things you're looking for, yet you leave them for someone with the other 20%. Once you're with the 20%-person you realize that's all they are, the 20% you thought you were missing.
But you make it sound like the only reason you haven't broken up with your gf is because the other girl probably doesn't want you. ....which makes you even more terrible. You should save your girlfriend the trouble and break up with her. You're clearly only in a relationship with her because you can't find anything better. She deserves to be with someone who values her as a person and won't cheat on her the first time someone "hotter" gives her SO the opportunity.
Also, you are a terrible person.
Doing one wrong thing in your life doesn't make you a terrible person. It's easy to get on a high horse and look down on others for cheating or fucking up in their relationships but chances are you haven't gone through life without ever hurting or betraying somebodies trust.
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On April 19 2012 13:52 slam wrote:
Definitely leave your girlfriend, I'm not saying you need to tell her the truth, but if she knew how you felt she definitely would not want to stay with you, most likely. You could always just be her friend cause if she's emotional and stressed out that's what she needs, not a boyfriend who cheats on her and gets irritated when she needs help with something.
As for girl 2 I do not know. Tell her how you feel? lol
I agree with this guy 100%, you should feel pretty bad for letting it get this far. If things were getting bad for you then leave... By you staying with her you have made this hundred times worse. sry man
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i don't think this is evidence that you are a bad person but just a wuss who is too afraid to break off a relationship you know isn't going anywhere so you do the sneaky thing and sleep with this other girl because youre too afraid to tell your gf how you really feel
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I kid of course. I don't know what you should do. I'm not you and have no idea what would be best. There's always the option of being honest, but tbh I'm not very honest with my parents.
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i deleted my post but ya, you're just realising how to make mistakes and learn from them. you say you're a "nice guy" but really you just not had this problem before so you havent learnt from it yet. you gotta take action now unfortunately, it doesnt really matter what action in the longrun, but you gotta do something. you're gonna look back and feel shitty and guilty either way, but you'll feel decent that you took action . you're not a dick yet, so dont worry about that, but you will be if you dont do something now
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sounds like sometime in the past, you seared your conscience with a hot iron. 
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On April 19 2012 15:35 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
i don't think this is evidence that you are a bad person but just a wuss who is too afraid to break off a relationship you know isn't going anywhere so you do the sneaky thing and sleep with this other girl because youre too afraid to tell your gf how you really feel
If someone is willingly and knowingly causing undeserved pain or grief to others, where is the line drawn between being a "bad person" or not? This seems like a semantic problem.
He's not an utterly completely through-and-through bad person in every aspect of his life from the point until he was born up until his eventual death. What pedostare is saying is that, right now at this very moment, what he's doing is being a giant fucking asshole and setting everyone around him up for grief. In this situation, calling someone a bad person isn't a condemnation for all time. It's just calling things what they are - in the present.
OP, you are not a nice guy. Being a coward, like DoctorHelvetica asserts, does not excuse anything. You can't rationalize away the fact that at some point in the future, your current girlfriend will be hurt badly, the relationship between your girlfriend and her roommate will be hurt badly, and the vast majority of the blame will fall on your shoulders (whether you acknowledge it or not).
You are not a nice guy.
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Nice people can do bad things. If he's nice in most aspects of his life and makes one mistake or wrongs someone a few times are we to assume he's rotten or wicked?
It's not presumptuous to say what he's doing now is wrong but it's out of place to say he's a bad person or not generally nice because of this one bad thing he has done. It does seem like he's trying to avoid blame which falls on him but the sooner op can accept that he's done something wrong and correct it the sooner he can move on and redeem itself.
There are far worse things you can do than sleeping with another girl. It's pretty clear he's doing it because he is unhappy in the relationship in which case he should have just ended it earlier. I don't see it as that big of a deal. What is more troubling to me is that he is too insecure to leave the relationship and has to hide things in the first place
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This is pretty much the perfect recipe for a threesome. Don't squander it.
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On April 19 2012 16:24 Myrkskog wrote:
This is pretty much the perfect recipe for a threesome. Don't squander it.
All the moral parts of me say "NO NO NO" to this statement, but all the private parts of me say "WTFOMGYES!"
With that said, def break up with your girlfriend, might as well keep sleeping with the other girl if you still want to get laid and she'll let it go down but in all honesty you should get blacklisted by both of them, and I wouldn't recommend it.
However, once you break up with your gf I would offer a threesome. You're going to look like a asshole either way, and if you don't intend ending up in either person's life long term (which from your op does not seem like you will), you might as well give it a shot.
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Cheating can just happen. But fml not for months on end. Man the fuck up and break up with your girlfriend.
Also this roommate girl if she's a good friend of your girlfriends sounds like she has no fucking care for her friends and is pretty much a piece of shit.
Btw the way you're comparing this other girl as "an upgrade" means you don't have serious feelings for either and are viewing them as something you "get". This isn't the 60s and while some women are happy to have that sort of relationship I wouldn't be seen dead with a girl like that.
You're quite young at 20 so I can understand you don't have that much experience with adult relationships and the idea of getting a hot chick is ingrained in your mind from tv and culture in general. But remember that sure one girl fucks better then the other, but if you find a girl you actually have a proper relationship with and both love each other then the sex will be 10x better and you won't give a shit about any of that superficial crap.
As some people said above, good people can do bad things and get caught in a bad action. If they man up and face up to it they remain good people, but if they hide from it and avoid it they become the wimpering turds that we all hate. Right now in this action you're being a turd, come back to being a good person dude.
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What's the problem, of course you should dump your girlfriend... you're cheating on her, so it's obviously already way to late? Pretty funny how you're a complete douche, yet act as if you're a nice guy in a complicated situation you don't know how to get out off.
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On April 19 2012 16:07 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
Nice people can do bad things. If he's nice in most aspects of his life and makes one mistake or wrongs someone a few times are we to assume he's rotten or wicked?
It's not presumptuous to say what he's doing now is wrong but it's out of place to say he's a bad person or not generally nice because of this one bad thing he has done. It does seem like he's trying to avoid blame which falls on him but the sooner op can accept that he's done something wrong and correct it the sooner he can move on and redeem itself.
There are far worse things you can do than sleeping with another girl. It's pretty clear he's doing it because he is unhappy in the relationship in which case he should have just ended it earlier. I don't see it as that big of a deal. What is more troubling to me is that he is too insecure to leave the relationship and has to hide things in the first place
You would probably realize what the big deal was if someone you cared about ever cheated on you. It's not a nice experience.
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On April 19 2012 17:18 Tobberoth wrote:Show nested quote +On April 19 2012 16:07 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
Nice people can do bad things. If he's nice in most aspects of his life and makes one mistake or wrongs someone a few times are we to assume he's rotten or wicked?
It's not presumptuous to say what he's doing now is wrong but it's out of place to say he's a bad person or not generally nice because of this one bad thing he has done. It does seem like he's trying to avoid blame which falls on him but the sooner op can accept that he's done something wrong and correct it the sooner he can move on and redeem itself.
There are far worse things you can do than sleeping with another girl. It's pretty clear he's doing it because he is unhappy in the relationship in which case he should have just ended it earlier. I don't see it as that big of a deal. What is more troubling to me is that he is too insecure to leave the relationship and has to hide things in the first place You would probably realize what the big deal was if someone you cared about ever cheated on you. It's not a nice experience.
Of course it's a terrible feeling. I have been through it and life went on and I don't hate that person for making the mistake that she made. I moved on too to a relationship that's much better. The reason it happened to me is because it wasn't a good relationship and I'm glad it's over now. Wish it was over before she cheated on me but I think she was otherwise a nice girl who deserves to be happy. You can't boil someones life or character down to a single error they've made. I think I'm much more forgiving than the average person though.
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The solution is simple. You'll read it all over this thread sir. But it isn't easy.
I think you already know that you have to break up wit your GF. But how? Don't do it suddenly. And don't bring up the roommate as a reason. What's your goal? To end a relationship as smoothly as possible. But timing means a lot. Choose a time where the emotional effect won't be too harsh on her. You owe her that for acting like a jerk, at least.
But if you can't do the above? Take Battleaxe's suggestion 2 or 3 posts above mine. Go for the threesome. It may end up improving the relationship among you three a hundred fold in fact. /jk
edit: To other posters. I second Helvetica. We all know decent people who've made mistakes. Big ones too. The OP may be a good guy after all, despite being such a wank with his GF.
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don't listen to the majority of these losers. blah blah it wasn't nice what you did to your gf everyone knows that you know it etc etc
the gf sounds like a chick who just leeches and is way to needy, and your relationship probably fell apart before you cheated anyway, the fact that you didn't have the balls to dump her earlier either suggest you're a) a decent guy and didn't want to hurt her feeligns so you stuck around OR b) ur just an insecure sucker who hates being alone, so when you knew you should have dumped her in the first place, for selfish reasons you kept her around.\\
either case, the one and only solution is to break up with the girlfriend, because no matter how you look at it, you don't deserve her, regardless if she is the best chick ever or just a massive donkey. its the rulez brah
if you think the chick ur rooting at the moment is about to fuck some other douchebag on her date (first date fuck?) she sounds like a bit of a slurry anyway, and this is reinforced by the fact she was rooting you while u were with your gf. I wouldnt put any eggs in that basket, she sounds like she just loves a bit of cock and you were keen to provide it.
enjyo the excitement while it lasts, i dont know hwo long u were with your gf for but it doesnt sound like 'love', so she also needs to just grow a pair and stop being such a needy bitch and get on with life. Breaking up with her will make her stronger, she won't break down and kill herself or anything, she'll survive. so it's your turn to man up and pull the trigger on this so called relationship
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1. You definitely need to break up with your current girlfriend.
2. You should look how girl-2 behaves after you break up. I bet she is interested in you because you happen to be a boyfriend to her friend.
3. Move on.
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On April 19 2012 17:21 DoctorHelvetica wrote:Show nested quote +On April 19 2012 17:18 Tobberoth wrote:On April 19 2012 16:07 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
Nice people can do bad things. If he's nice in most aspects of his life and makes one mistake or wrongs someone a few times are we to assume he's rotten or wicked?
It's not presumptuous to say what he's doing now is wrong but it's out of place to say he's a bad person or not generally nice because of this one bad thing he has done. It does seem like he's trying to avoid blame which falls on him but the sooner op can accept that he's done something wrong and correct it the sooner he can move on and redeem itself.
There are far worse things you can do than sleeping with another girl. It's pretty clear he's doing it because he is unhappy in the relationship in which case he should have just ended it earlier. I don't see it as that big of a deal. What is more troubling to me is that he is too insecure to leave the relationship and has to hide things in the first place You would probably realize what the big deal was if someone you cared about ever cheated on you. It's not a nice experience. Of course it's a terrible feeling. I have been through it and life went on and I don't hate that person for making the mistake that she made. I moved on too to a relationship that's much better. The reason it happened to me is because it wasn't a good relationship and I'm glad it's over now. Wish it was over before she cheated on me but I think she was otherwise a nice girl who deserves to be happy. You can't boil someones life or character down to a single error they've made. I think I'm much more forgiving than the average person though.
I agree. I'm marrying the girl who cheated on me next year, so I have no problem forgiving people if there are valid reasons... in this case, a long distance relationship for over a year. There is however a difference in making a mistake, and being a douche. This guy hasn't made a mistake and slept with another girl.. he has been constantly, for more than 1 month, been sleeping with his girlfriends roommate. That's not a mistake, that's a shitty attitude.
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Well since your already cheating on her then why not just dump her. You're already an asshole for cheating so I don't think dumping her hate you that much more. At this point I think you should come clean and go on from there or just drop everything and leave. Hope you get your problem resolved and next time if your going to be sleeping around with more than one girl try not to do it while your in a relationship because your also hurting that one person that your suppose to love. Cheating is bad in general so don't do it next time.
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Pretty simple what you have to do. Next time you hang out with GF ask if you think her roommate will be game for a threesome.
1 of 2 things will happen.
1: 3way will happen and then you slowly drift away from gf and break up with her later down the road.
2: 3way doesn't happen and you say it is a deal breaker and break up.
If 2 happens she will think your childish and breaking up with a childish person is much easier than breaking up with a dick.
If 1 happens then lucky you.
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Dude, you're such a noob.
THREESOME
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You need to micro more.
This guy clearly knows what's up.
So. You're cheating on your girlfriend, huh? With her roommate. And at the time you made the post, you were upset that her roommate was out on a date with another guy. You poor, poor dear. Surely it must be very painful to wonder or suspect that someone you love is sleeping with someone else.
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On April 19 2012 13:32 PrinceXizor wrote:But on to the part that just makes shit worse for me.
Lmao, who cares about you? You're being a huge douchebag, you deserve what you get.
On April 19 2012 13:32 PrinceXizor wrote:
I'm a "nice guy" so having multiple girls is not something i'm too accustomed to, nor something i really meant to happen.
Hahaha! "I'm a nice guy, I swear!" Whatever you need to tell yourself, dude. You're pretty low.
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Wow, I'm not sure if you have actually ever been in a relationship, you skip over fucking another girl like it is brushing your teeth in the morning. End it, god. If I found out my gf was doing that to me I would struggle not to smack her in the face for being such a douche, expect I'm not an asshole so I know not to hit a girl, just like I know not to cheat on one either.
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You should post pics of these two girls, it will help us to take the right decision for you !
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On April 19 2012 16:24 Myrkskog wrote:
This is pretty much the perfect recipe for a threesome. Don't squander it.
Um, no its not
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Prepare to be zerged by TL "whiteknights" (quite a few have already popped up). They don't live in reality.
Yeah, what you did kinda sucks, but you're young and in college. Shit happens. You weren't married or something. As for what to do? I'd end it with GF #1 for sure, then what do to do from there is kinda up you. Doing the "casual sex" thing with girl #2 might work out ok, but you are already showing that you are getting emotionally attached/jealous. Casual sex/FWB rarely works out that way. You could try to secure a monogamous relationship with her, but knowing that she is with her friend's BF is probably not a great starting point.
Honestly, I'd bail on both girls, get your head straight after a few months, then get back on the saddle with a different girl. Maybe hit up girl #2 after you and her have gotten in a more stable situation, maybe not.
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Sounds like you should try to rope them both into a three-way.
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On April 19 2012 18:03 Terranoob wrote:
You need to micro more.
Naw needs better macro/decision making, the micro is there he has yet to get caught cheating on his gf. But the long term goals of his strategy are clearly lacking.
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On April 19 2012 22:36 Salv wrote:Show nested quote +On April 19 2012 13:32 PrinceXizor wrote:But on to the part that just makes shit worse for me.
Lmao, who cares about you? You're being a huge douchebag, you deserve what you get. Show nested quote +On April 19 2012 13:32 PrinceXizor wrote:
I'm a "nice guy" so having multiple girls is not something i'm too accustomed to, nor something i really meant to happen. Hahaha! "I'm a nice guy, I swear!" Whatever you need to tell yourself, dude. You're pretty low.
How do people get this delusional?
Are you serious HardlyNever (just the Whiteknight part, your advice really isn't bad)? Reality dictates you give a fuck about the people you live around and don't toy with their emotions for your own gain. His relationships are more about himself than anyone else, he is better off masturbating alone than doing what he is doing.
Reality is; cheating makes you a prick.
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On April 19 2012 13:32 PrinceXizor wrote:
So I'm 20, in school, i have a girlfriend, but i've also been sleeping with her roommate for a couple months now. Her roommate is more attractive, less needy, smarter, and fits my personality much more, she likes video games, is in love with a certain Mr. Day[9] (who isn't), better in bed, pretty much an upgrade in every way as cruel as that sounds. But anyway, My girlfriend has emotional issues, she's super attached and incredibly stressed out by her major which is providing her with many hours of work every day. I'm already an asshole for sleeping with her roommate, but i don't want to be an even bigger asshole and dump her for her roommate. Pretty much i can't date the other girl if i break up with my girlfriend. Because apparently my conscious can only be overridden in a few bursts a day (no pun intended) i am stuck in this awkward situation.
Sounds like you should have broken up with your girlfriend a long time ago. Stop wondering whether or not you're going to make her stress worse. Eventually she'll find out. Save face and be a little bit less of a scumbag.
But on to the part that just makes shit worse for me. Girl 2 is on a date with some guy tonight, and they are probably screwing right now to be honest. It's kind of killing me.
Sounds like you have a real catch.
I'm a "nice guy" so having multiple girls is not something i'm too accustomed to, nor something i really meant to happen.
Nice guys have enough integrity to end a relationship before sleeping around or owning up to the mistake after the first encounter and end the relationship. You think you're being helpful by staying with your girlfriend and helping with the stress, but in the mean time you've lost your patience with her and can't really help her with her stress anymore.
Given the negative reactions to this thread, I hope you're not using it as a way to punish yourself. Mistakes were made, but that means you can learn from them and start being the "nice guy" you say you are.
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Small update:
girl 2 actually left the date early and came to my apartment instead. I have decided to break up with my gf, just trying to work out the best time, i don't want to negatively impact her future, so i probably will wait until finals week is over. IS that a good idea?
I expected most of these responses, i just needed a place to vent my frustration and TL is that place for me. Thank you guys.
Also just based on how I've felt let alone how my gf will feel, i can say that being with 2 girls is not a good idea, for all you young TLers out there.
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Russian Federation142 Posts
On April 20 2012 01:51 PrinceXizor wrote:
Small update:
girl 2 actually left the date early and came to my apartment instead. I have decided to break up with my gf, just trying to work out the best time, i don't want to negatively impact her future, so i probably will wait until finals week is over. IS that a good idea?
I expected most of these responses, i just needed a place to vent my frustration and TL is that place for me. Thank you guys.
Also just based on how I've felt let alone how my gf will feel, i can say that being with 2 girls is not a good idea, for all you young TLers out there.
TL is possibly the second worst place to ask these questions (feminist forums taking first place). This advice thread is already full of effeminate idiots who some more reasonable posters refer to as "white knights."
Do whatever makes you most happy, as long as it doesn't break the law. Don't let anyone else tell you what to do.
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Break up with your girlfriend. Decide your next move after that.
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On April 20 2012 02:12 serge wrote:Show nested quote +On April 20 2012 01:51 PrinceXizor wrote:
Small update:
girl 2 actually left the date early and came to my apartment instead. I have decided to break up with my gf, just trying to work out the best time, i don't want to negatively impact her future, so i probably will wait until finals week is over. IS that a good idea?
I expected most of these responses, i just needed a place to vent my frustration and TL is that place for me. Thank you guys.
Also just based on how I've felt let alone how my gf will feel, i can say that being with 2 girls is not a good idea, for all you young TLers out there. TL is possibly the second worst place to ask these questions (feminist forums taking first place). This advice thread is already full of effeminate idiots who some more reasonable posters refer to as "white knights." Do whatever makes you most happy, as long as it doesn't break the law. Don't let anyone else tell you what to do.
Go back to Misc man. "More reasonable posters"...LOL
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man up, realize you're not a "good guy", dump your girlfiend (you're both better off with this), then ask her roommate out. live how you want to, don't worry about being a nice guy in this situation because at this point because in most peoples books you're not.
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How did you end up sleeping with girl #2?
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On April 20 2012 01:34 Servius_Fulvius wrote:Show nested quote +On April 19 2012 13:32 PrinceXizor wrote:
So I'm 20, in school, i have a girlfriend, but i've also been sleeping with her roommate for a couple months now. Her roommate is more attractive, less needy, smarter, and fits my personality much more, she likes video games, is in love with a certain Mr. Day[9] (who isn't), better in bed, pretty much an upgrade in every way as cruel as that sounds. But anyway, My girlfriend has emotional issues, she's super attached and incredibly stressed out by her major which is providing her with many hours of work every day. I'm already an asshole for sleeping with her roommate, but i don't want to be an even bigger asshole and dump her for her roommate. Pretty much i can't date the other girl if i break up with my girlfriend. Because apparently my conscious can only be overridden in a few bursts a day (no pun intended) i am stuck in this awkward situation. Sounds like you should have broken up with your girlfriend a long time ago. Stop wondering whether or not you're going to make her stress worse. Eventually she'll find out. Save face and be a little bit less of a scumbag. Show nested quote +But on to the part that just makes shit worse for me. Girl 2 is on a date with some guy tonight, and they are probably screwing right now to be honest. It's kind of killing me. Sounds like you have a real catch. Show nested quote +I'm a "nice guy" so having multiple girls is not something i'm too accustomed to, nor something i really meant to happen. Nice guys have enough integrity to end a relationship before sleeping around or owning up to the mistake after the first encounter and end the relationship. You think you're being helpful by staying with your girlfriend and helping with the stress, but in the mean time you've lost your patience with her and can't really help her with her stress anymore. Given the negative reactions to this thread, I hope you're not using it as a way to punish yourself. Mistakes were made, but that means you can learn from them and start being the "nice guy" you say you are.
I totally agree. You have to seperate the "Who" from the "Do". Nice guys don't pull their dick out just because they can, but it doesn't mean you aren't capable of being a nice guy, just means your actions in the relationship don't make it seem like your a nice guy. Just because you have cheated in the past doesn't really make you a cheater, while cheating habitually for the sake of cheating would make you a cheater.
I don't really see anything wrong with dating the other girl, but it will be awkward probably. You should probably be honest with your current girlfriend about what happend if your planning on dating the other. And I wouldn't just jump right into another relationship right away (but thats just me, has nothing to do with "morals"). I also don't know the girls personally but I know a lot of girls do this with guys (date someone, find someone more "attractive", dump and immediately begin another relationship). I guess all I have to say is that being completely honest with someone your dating or going to be dating is really important regardless of how weird it may seem to be.
Everyone talking about "whiteknights" are just insulting people they don't agree with without actually saying who. I guess that makes them "cowardlysquires". I hate to say this, but something is Wrong with you if you think sleeping with someone while your in a relationship with another (not even roomates) is okay in any circumstance. Even two wrongs don't make a right.
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On April 20 2012 01:51 PrinceXizor wrote:
i can say that being with 2 girls is not a good idea, for all you young TLers out there.
Hey, at least he's a fast learner.
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On April 20 2012 07:24 TheFish7 wrote:Show nested quote +On April 20 2012 01:51 PrinceXizor wrote:
i can say that being with 2 girls is not a good idea, for all you young TLers out there. Hey, at least he's a fast learner.
i said so in my original post but i thought i'd bring it up again.
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Wait a minute. Gaiz. the OP is cheating on his girlfriend...and the person he fucks is technically "cheating" on him.
10/10 for troll attempt?
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I bet I know the names of the two girls “Right hand and Left hand”. What I found is that although masturbating with the right hand is easier and faster it’s not as exciting with the left hand.
And sometimes I just stick a carrot up these it helps out.
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The solution to this problem is to make sure your penis doesn't accidentally go out of your body to have sex with your gf's roommate for 2 months, since your nice self otherwise wouldn't do so.
Do your gf a favour and break up, then realize you're not a nice guy and move on.
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On April 20 2012 02:12 serge wrote:Show nested quote +On April 20 2012 01:51 PrinceXizor wrote:
Small update:
girl 2 actually left the date early and came to my apartment instead. I have decided to break up with my gf, just trying to work out the best time, i don't want to negatively impact her future, so i probably will wait until finals week is over. IS that a good idea?
I expected most of these responses, i just needed a place to vent my frustration and TL is that place for me. Thank you guys.
Also just based on how I've felt let alone how my gf will feel, i can say that being with 2 girls is not a good idea, for all you young TLers out there. TL is possibly the second worst place to ask these questions (feminist forums taking first place). This advice thread is already full of effeminate idiots who some more reasonable posters refer to as "white knights." Do whatever makes you most happy, as long as it doesn't break the law. Don't let anyone else tell you what to do.
Yeah, but the crucial point here is: doing what you want =/= what makes you happy. No one forced this guy to sleep with his girlfriend's roommate - I'm assuming he did so because he wanted to, but it's clearly not making him happy. It's probably not going to make his girlfriend happy, but no one has really considered her feelings in this equation because she's "needy", therefore she had it coming, right? Right? T_T OP wants to be in a relationship with the roommate - "relationship" as opposed to casual sex, because he's already uncomfortable with the idea of her seeing other people - but for reasons that have been indelicately pointed out by other posters, it kind of sounds like a recipe for disaster. 1) She'll be his ex-girlfriend's roommate, even if she's not her friend anymore, 2) There is a precedent on him cheating on his girlfriends, 3) There is a precedent of her sleeping with men she's not really supposed to be sleeping with. Part of growing up is understanding that you have to not do things that you might want to do, and probably do things you don't want to do, in order to be happy.
Also, at least two of your "effeminate idiots" who have posted in this thread are girls.
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On April 20 2012 09:11 khaydarin9 wrote:Show nested quote +On April 20 2012 02:12 serge wrote:On April 20 2012 01:51 PrinceXizor wrote:
Small update:
girl 2 actually left the date early and came to my apartment instead. I have decided to break up with my gf, just trying to work out the best time, i don't want to negatively impact her future, so i probably will wait until finals week is over. IS that a good idea?
I expected most of these responses, i just needed a place to vent my frustration and TL is that place for me. Thank you guys.
Also just based on how I've felt let alone how my gf will feel, i can say that being with 2 girls is not a good idea, for all you young TLers out there. TL is possibly the second worst place to ask these questions (feminist forums taking first place). This advice thread is already full of effeminate idiots who some more reasonable posters refer to as "white knights." Do whatever makes you most happy, as long as it doesn't break the law. Don't let anyone else tell you what to do. + Show Spoiler +Yeah, but the crucial point here is: doing what you want =/= what makes you happy. No one forced this guy to sleep with his girlfriend's roommate - I'm assuming he did so because he wanted to, but it's clearly not making him happy. It's probably not going to make his girlfriend happy, but no one has really considered her feelings in this equation because she's "needy", therefore she had it coming, right? Right? T_T OP wants to be in a relationship with the roommate - "relationship" as opposed to casual sex, because he's already uncomfortable with the idea of her seeing other people - but for reasons that have been indelicately pointed out by other posters, it kind of sounds like a recipe for disaster. 1) She'll be his ex-girlfriend's roommate, even if she's not her friend anymore, 2) There is a precedent on him cheating on his girlfriends, 3) There is a precedent of her sleeping with men she's not really supposed to be sleeping with. Part of growing up is understanding that you have to not do things that you might want to do, and probably do things you don't want to do, in order to be happy.
Also, at least two of your "effeminate idiots" who have posted in this thread are girls.
Pretty much this. If you sleep with a girl who you're not in a relationship with, but knows you're in a relationship, ergo knows you're cheating. What's to say when she is in a relationship with you, not think, oh, I'll cheat because why not, he is comfortable doing it and I have already done it once.
It's like punching a homeless guy, you know you should never do it, but you do it once and WOAH you get that rush you just have to keep doing it. Homeless guy = relationships
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EPT
