|
So I'm just a regular teenager. Well, maybe not a regular teenager. What I can be defined as, is that I'am the logical extreme of a teenager. I love to deceive myself into thinking that I'am not the same as the rest of the teenagers, to think that I do not behave like a teenager. But the hard truth is, I'am a teenager. Albeit not "normal" per se, given what I said about being the logical extreme, but I'am one. I have a PhD in Teenage-ism. I'am able to display teenage angst at a level higher than the rest.
Why I'am saying all this is because of a blog that I made a couple of days ago. I ranted about the most absurd things that plagues most teenagers while claiming that they are not problems most teenagers face. I ranted about the problems of the world today, giving off the impression that I was just an angry uninformed child whining about things I did not fully comprehend.
It's true.
A few comments in response to my blog really hit home.
zalz:
Because any teenager that drifts into the pitfall of self-agrandizement through faux-intellectualism is going to come crashing down sooner or later.
And the result always looks the same:
"Fuck the world, yo!"
You aren't a unique snowflake just because you hate humanity. That moronic concept is the pinacle of all angst. And most certainly not unique.
You might like to think that you are different from your peers, but you are in fact the most pure expression of your peers. Teenage angst, taken to its logical extreme.
You just rant against vague notions and reduce problems to childlike levels of complexity. You don't understand, because no teenager ever does. You will rant and scream how you are nothing like your peers, all the while being the most extreme version of those peers.
You aren't a teenager. You are king teenager, sitting on the mount Olympus of teenagers. Judging the peasant teenagers because they can only produce enough angst against their parents whilst you have enough angst to hate the whole human race.
Look how good I am. Look how smart I am.
Its been done before and done till death. You cannot possibly fathom just how moronic you sound atm, but you will in about 4-5 years.
Dfgi
My teacher in Singapore once explained something to me that you might find useful.
People go through four stages of understanding, as he put it:
1) Uninformed optimism: You don't understand anything, but it's good. Children.
2) Uninformed pessimism: You don't understand anything, but you think things suck. Teenagers, generally.
3) Informed pessimism: You start to understand things and realize how much they suck.
4) Informed optimism: You have enough understanding to see solutions and how stuff needs to work.
You're at 2. You don't really understand things yet, but the world isn't the ideal childhood dreamscape it was, and your conclusion is because the world is terrible. You're judging it against an ideal that never existed.
Liquid`NonY
Yeah this is a very good insight. If you (author of the blog) were really intellectual, then the behavior of your peers would be intriguing, not enraging. I've never explored the subject myself but I'm sure there is a ton of scientific literature on understanding the typical American teenager.
It seems you have absolutely no empathy for them. Or you think you do but it's definitely inaccurate because you think so little of them. Every person's behavior is a riddle for you to solve. Understanding the bad parts makes them more tolerable. Understanding how a person thinks makes it easier to get along with them because you can level with them. If you're nice then you can level with them and be friendly. If you're mean then you can level with them just to manipulate them. Either way, you cannot act yourself unless they understand you too.
And, well, most people have a different "self" that they are when they're around their best friend, another when around close friends, another around coworkers, another around parents, another around siblings, another around significant other, another around children, etc, and finally the "true" self that they are when they're alone. No one will ever fully understand you. You will always be leveling with people and/or always be dealing with some extent of detachment from them. But remember you can't always "fake it" or no one will ever get closer to you and understand you better. So sometimes you gotta fake it to keep things smooth and sometimes you gotta be real and hope that it works out.
Teenagers are really terrible at understanding someone foreign to them. They can only understand someone that's very much like themselves. And if there's no one around like themselves, they can simplify interactions with others to the point that no real understanding of each other is necessary. Some would call that superficial but others might call it making the best of the situation. Like if I'm gonna interact with a stranger for only 15 seconds in my whole life, I may as well abandon hope of some deep connection and be satisfied with the good will and pleasantness of manners and a smile. And if I'm gonna go to school with teenagers for four years of my life, then maybe I do a similar thing. But if you're in a position where you're not experienced enough to truly empathize with others and you have a prejudice against superficial interaction, then you're gonna hate the world.
Admittedly, I was embarrassed by all the comments. But that is nothing to be ashamed of. I learned a couple of things about myself that I would have preferred not to have heard. If I heard these words from anybody else, I would cover my ears (not literally) and yell inwardly "That's not true!" continuously.
Things that were hard for me to digest
- I argue and complain about things that I do not fully understand. Ergo, I'am uninformed and ignorant.
- I'am not like my peers, but not in a good way. I'am them times ten. 10 ≠ 1
- I'am narrow-minded. I can not empathize with my peers because think I'am superior to them. I hate them because they are different.
- Underneath, I'am an immature brat.
What am I going to do now? That's the question. I'am blessed to have all my flaws pointed out so blatantly. Not only my flaws, but the flaws of almost, if not all teenagers.
The first thing I should do of course, is to become informed. How will I do this? Read the news, read books pertaining to the subject that I will want to talk about? I don't think that is good enough. I think I'll continue making blogs about things that I don't fully comprehend, but I won't rant or complain. I'll talk briefly about the subject, then look for feedback.
Second, I will have to try to better understand my peers. Maybe I'll try to read a couple of books on the teenage/adolescent mind. Thinking about this makes me feel a little bit weird. I'll be reading books on myself then? Huh. The idea of it is intriguing. I think while I learn more about myself and my peers I should become a peaceful observer, an amateur scientist making observations and experimenting.
I'am still stumped at the moment, so if anybody has advice, it will be much appreciated.
 
|
Do. Don't read about it. One of the best methods of understanding is through experience.
Create life experiences that set you apart, they'll help you understand yourself.
|
just chill the fuck out and go make some friends, this will all be solved with time, no homework is required, this isn't a school test
|
Not how I prefer to do things, chilling "the fuck out".
|
some things just take time...
|
I agree with the two first posters, don't go reading about the teenage mind, you are a teenager! Just interact on a teenager level with other teenagers. You'll realise how similar you are to pretty much everyone once you get to know others more. They all probably think they're different too, you know. You'll figure out a lot more as you get older, even in just a few years.
Also, so many instances of "I'am", not sure whether you meant there to be a space and no apostrophe or no "a". I'm guessing you're probably just tired from all that introspection and trying to analyse your peers.
|
Reading books on the subject of teenagers, i.e. yourself, will be an enlightening moment for you, believe me. The only problem is that it won't necessarily help you. By that I mean that the unlikeable things about us are usually emotions which we can't control. It's therefore of no benefit per se to know about these things since you can't do anything about them. I know I shouldn't get angry at this or that but I can't help it. They're emotions that are so deep in us that we can't suppress them. The only thing you can do is wait it out. This phase will pass and you'll most likely become a normal adult like the rest of us (within reason).
|
Why do you write I'am instead of I'm or I am?
Also I know what you're going through, when I was younger I thought I was definitely the smartest person of my age because everyone else was so 'regular' and they just didnt SEE things the way I did, couldnt pierce the veil of the obvious to join me on my pedestal of observational prowess. I thought I 'solved' religion, and always had some malformed opinion of my country's political situation.
Now I realize just how un-snowflake like I am, and how pathetic my intellect and ability to comprehend new ideas is compared to people I've met, much less people I've heard about/read about/seen.
|
Just lay back and enjoy it. Do as much stupid shit as possible, because you will not be able to later in life.
Also when you turn 25, you will already be reminding yourself how much stupid shit you have done during teenage years and how much fun it was. Trust me
|
On April 18 2012 20:24 Azera wrote:Things that were hard for me to digest
- I argue and complain about things that I do not fully understand. Ergo, I'am uninformed and ignorant.
- I'am not like my peers, but not in a good way. I'am them times ten. 10 ≠ 1
- I'am narrow-minded. I can not empathize with my peers because think I'am superior to them. I hate them because they are different.
- Underneath, I'am an immature brat.
What am I going to do now? That's the question. I'am blessed to have all my flaws pointed out so blatantly. Not only my flaws, but the flaws of almost, if not all teenagers. The first thing I should do of course, is to become informed. How will I do this? Read the news, read books pertaining to the subject that I will want to talk about? I don't think that is good enough. I think I'll continue making blogs about things that I don't fully comprehend, but I won't rant or complain. I'll talk briefly about the subject, then look for feedback. Second, I will have to try to better understand my peers. Maybe I'll try to read a couple of books on the teenage/adolescent mind. Thinking about this makes me feel a little bit weird. I'll be reading books on myself then? Huh. The idea of it is intriguing. I think while I learn more about myself and my peers I should become a peaceful observer, an amateur scientist making observations and experimenting. I'am still stumped at the moment, so if anybody has advice, it will be much appreciated.
I can't help but notice that all your actionable points are independent activities. You're trying really hard to understand people through some kind of research project.
Granted, there's nothing wrong with reading up on topics and issues with which you are not informed, but that won't necessarily bring fulfillment. You'll find that if you're correct you're either completely ignored or downplayed (especially in online forums). Learn about a topic because you want to expand your knowledge, not so you can discuss it with others better. Otherwise if you don't get the response you desire you may become very bitter at all the people who didn't listen.
Why not just go out and experience life? Hang out with friends, talk over lunch, chill in the hallways before class, etc. Empathy, the ability to put yourself in the shoes of another, is wrought through interpersonal experiences, not some academic's book on the teenage mind.
For the record, there's no point in life where you suddenly reach "enlightenment". College kids think they know everything, but then they graduate, hit the real world, and find they know nothing. Some will fool themselves into thinking they have it figured out, but they really don't. Part of "growing up" is realizing that you're always "growing up".
|
Dfgi
My teacher in Singapore once explained something to me that you might find useful.
People go through four stages of understanding, as he put it:
1) Uninformed optimism: You don't understand anything, but it's good. Children.
2) Uninformed pessimism: You don't understand anything, but you think things suck. Teenagers, generally.
3) Informed pessimism: You start to understand things and realize how much they suck.
4) Informed optimism: You have enough understanding to see solutions and how stuff needs to work.
You're at 2. You don't really understand things yet, but the world isn't the ideal childhood dreamscape it was, and your conclusion is because the world is terrible. You're judging it against an ideal that never existed.
This comment is so true that I don't even know where I should start. I'm currently between 2 and 3 and this exactly what I believe in and it keeps me going through this period of my life.
EDIT: wait, i have never went through 2, maybe between 3 & 4
|
LOL, don't read book on teenagers.
You can only learn through experience, so do only that. You will not always look down on your peers, at least not to the same extent you do now. You'll start to understand why they behave they do, and you won't hate them for it.
I went through a similar phase - only I recognized that for me to be happy I needed to fit in to some extent. I enjoyed the company but rarely respected the people I was hanging around, the values ingrained into me were not shared by others. And this is something hard to recognize as a teenager...
Insight is great, it's empowering. But it can also be a burden. You need to be able to channel the greater level of understanding to your own benefit. That sometimes means being selfish, or simply 'using' people because as a human being, you need social interactions to keep you emotionally healthy. This is more normal than it sounds, most people just fail to see it.
That goes without saying, like Nony said, no one will fully understand you. And you will never fully understand someone else (but who really wants to fully understand someone else, the concept seems utterly boring.) There will be people that you respect for your own reasons and while you don't have to be best mates, sometimes the most simple interactions are the most meaningful.
My best advice is don't think too much. It gets habitual, and it can be annoying. Sometimes it's nice to live life on automatic here and there, not observing every person and event, why it happened, and it's possible ramifications. You're young, so BE young, and all you have to be is open to learning new things along the way. Expect to be surprised, and try not jump to big conclusions.
|
Jesus kid, has anything bad ever happened to you EVER?
If yes, then maybe I can understand this just a little bit, because I was similar at your age (not so extreme though).
If no, then you have no business thinking this way and should really just lighten up. If you're lonely it's self-imposed. If you're depressed it's self-inflicted.
Honestly I'm beginning to believe you're an elaborate troll. Reading books about the teenage mind? Are you kidding me? Teenagers are not complicated: they want to fight, fuck, and argue. The point is to find friends that you like.
There's nothing better than friendship. It sounds cheesy but it's true. There's nothing better than knowing someone is there for life. There's nothing complicated about friendship. It's simple and clean.
I'm sorry if that came across harsh, it's just that I have very little sympathy for young teens because I was just like you at one point, and I'm just old enough (19) to look back with some perspective and realize that while I was smart, and still am, it doesn't mean you're the smartest. You'll find people with all kinds of view points, and they'll open up the narrow world you're living in. Meeting people who know more than you is always a pleasure in life, especially if you're curious about how things work.
Unless you're building a nuclear reactor in your garage, or something, then yeah, you're probably pretty average.
Now, if something really despicable happened to you to make you want to analyze every single event (which I can understand), then feel free to PM me and maybe I can help, because I can relate. I can promise you that it gets better, and easier, with time. But you have to stop pressuring yourself to change. You can't force change. It just comes as you get older.
|
I don't know why I use "I'am", bad habit I guess.
Thanks for all the advice anyway, I'll take some time to think about it.
Also, to jeeeeohn, fuck you, I'm not a troll. How dare you even say something like that. Dick. Just look at all my blogs/posts and see if I look like a troll. If all teenagers want to do is fight, fuck, and argue, (I wouldn't know really), I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh.
|
On April 18 2012 22:46 Azera wrote:
I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh.
You say that as if fucking was a bad thing.
Also, chilling the fuck out is a good thing at your age, as you probably won't chill out anymore until you are 70yo.
|
On April 18 2012 22:55 Xiron wrote:Show nested quote +On April 18 2012 22:46 Azera wrote:
I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh. You say that as if fucking was a bad thing.
I'm pretty open to sexual relief between two parties if it's a serious relationship, but seeing as how things tend to be how people my age...
Also, sick signature man. I love his speech in the great dictator.
|
serious relationship ? You're more likely to have a serious relationship with someone that randomly replies on your blog than with a girl. This sounds more like "i'm too awesome to get a girl" because you can't get one.
You can barely survive on your own and you think the highschool is a jungle full of chimps, this mentality is not suited for someone who calls a serious relationship.
My bet is that you hate yourself too much and you need to release that hate not by ranting about others but getting in close to them to link yourself to that source that inspire your hate, then you can share it with others without being afraid of their reaction.
Yes, every girl that laughs at you at school might be a low-brained bitch but that low brained bitch once tamed can give you what you do want from her but are too afraid to ask because you think you're too special. And you don't want a serious relationship, that's just acting smart for a lost cause. You want fun and want it desperately.
Get started on reading adventure and sci-fi books, stay away from philosophy/humanitarian/history books. Want heads, start with Alexandre Dumas and Jules Verne. I read them all by your age and i highly recomend it you do it too.
|
Don't worry about other teenagers, or your peers. Find something to be happy about instead! :D Happiness comes before success.
|
On April 18 2012 22:58 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On April 18 2012 22:55 Xiron wrote:On April 18 2012 22:46 Azera wrote:
I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh. You say that as if fucking was a bad thing. I'm pretty open to sexual relief between two parties if it's a serious relationship, but seeing as how things tend to be how people my age... Also, sick signature man. I love his speech in the great dictator.
Well I agree, you are 15 and not around my age 17-18.
Yeah, that speech is the best I've ever heard and probably will ever hear.
And it somewhat reflects the behaviour of you and me, the teenagers. We grow up in a world of hate and greed, and so 'greed has poisened or souls. Our knowlegde has made us cynical, our intellect hard and unkind. We think too much, and feel too little.'
We don't have to follow the steps mankind is taking right now.
But we certainly will. It's not that we'd want to, it's that our society takes us into that direction.
I can totally understand you, looking around, the majority of teenagers don't care at all. I know the feeling of not belonging to them.
But I just came to realize:
1st. There are a lot of amazing people just like you out there. They seem to vanish in the masses, but once you find them, you'll notice them shining bright amongst the dust that is our society.
2nd. I will have to play the role that society is forcing upon me. I can't just do what I want and be a part of mankind.
I decided, that I'd rather 'fight, argue and fuck' ( in other words 'have fun' , not necessarily fight and argue...) than to sit here in my lonely room and complain that the world I live in sucks. Yes, it sucks. But it won't change. It does not matter to the world if I have fun or I don't.
My only goal in life is happiness. I'd like to save the earth; be part of something amazing. But let's be realistic. That's never going to happen. There were hundreds of thousands before me and they all failed.
So what's left for us cynical teenagers, that face the end of the world? Make the best of it. Have fun. Don't take everything too serious, because you can't do anything about it.
|
On April 18 2012 23:31 Xiron wrote:Show nested quote +On April 18 2012 22:58 Azera wrote:On April 18 2012 22:55 Xiron wrote:On April 18 2012 22:46 Azera wrote:
I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh. You say that as if fucking was a bad thing. I'm pretty open to sexual relief between two parties if it's a serious relationship, but seeing as how things tend to be how people my age... Also, sick signature man. I love his speech in the great dictator. Well I agree, you are 15 and not around my age 17-18. Yeah, that speech is the best I've ever heard and probably will ever hear. And it somewhat reflects the behaviour of you and me, the teenagers. We grow up in a world of hate and greed, and so 'greed has poisened or souls. Our knowlegde has made us cynical, our intellect hard and unkind. We think too much, and feel too little.' We don't have to follow the steps mankind is taking right now. But we certainly will. It's not that we'd want to, it's that our society takes us into that direction. I can totally understand you, looking around, the majority of teenagers don't care at all. I know the feeling of not belonging to them. But I just came to realize: 1st. There are a lot of amazing people just like you out there. They seem to vanish in the masses, but once you find them, you'll notice them shining bright amongst the dust that is our society. 2nd. I will have to play the role that society is forcing upon me. I can't just do what I want and be a part of mankind. I decided, that I'd rather 'fight, argue and fuck' ( in other words 'have fun' , not necessarily fight and argue...) than to sit here in my lonely room and complain that the world I live in sucks. Yes, it sucks. But it won't change. It does not matter to the world if I have fun or I don't. My only goal in life is happiness. I'd like to save the earth; be part of something amazing. But let's be realistic. That's never going to happen. There were hundreds of thousands before me and they all failed. So what's left for us cynical teenagers, that face the end of the world? Make the best of it. Have fun. Don't take everything too serious, because you can't do anything about it.
Well said, friend.
|
|
|
Ah, I just read about brevity in "The Elements of Style"
|
On April 18 2012 23:50 Azera wrote:
Ah, I just read about brevity in "The Elements of Style"
Try to use it more often... for the sake of everyone who interacts with you. A good way to practice is with maths.
|
wll u kno u gotta sk8 bro.
You're not the epitome of a teenager, you are just a regular teenager. Basically you're self-obsessed and trying to find a stable identity, whether by your reflection against others, or the comments you hear on the internet and from friends.
You will grow mature when you actually know yourself, which has nothing to do with deciding a superficial identity, but with understanding what you like, what you're good at, etc. The more naturally you allow yourself to discover those things, the quicker you will mature  If you like drawing and draw often, one day you will say 'I am a drawer' and stuff socks in your pockets.
|
Well I would call myself a nerd, but then again...
|
Get friends who are a little smarter than you, but not with a lot. Like you couldn't hang with me, since that'd be too much for you, but like, if you're Silver irl, try to get some Gold friends, maybe one Platinum, I'm sure that'd help a lot.
|
On April 19 2012 00:13 ImDrizzt wrote:
Get friends who are a little smarter than you, but not with a lot. Like you couldn't hang with me, since that'd be too much for you, but like, if you're Silver irl, try to get some Gold friends, maybe one Platinum, I'm sure that'd help a lot.
Huh?
|
Azera, brother, all you need to do is understand that the things outside of you are only a reflection of inside.
You sound like you aren't happy with who you are inside, and your outer world will reflect that
I feel like you might be thinking the outer world reflects the inner, instead of the other way around
You must understand your journey, you must understand your path. If you had nothing to learn why are you really here? I feel like I was once you in a way, like a lot of posters here on TL feel.
Day by day, you are molding your perspective on life, your view on the world. I am sure you can honestly say that today you know something you didn't know yesterday, and that is part of the wonder of life. You in some sense, do have a gift that your peers do not share at this point, which is the ability to question, the ability to ask questions most people your age will not ask until something terrible happens, and they question "God", or why they are here. But I think that every soul, in this lifetime or not, will ask the same questions you ask.
However, I for one do not have everything figured out yet either.. and I am years ahead of you. There are many men who were decades of years ahead of me who had not figured it all out as well. But I can give a small piece of advice that I and many others have learned so far: Life is love, life is sadness. Life is the ups, and life is the downs. And in the end, the only thing is guaranteed is death, so you must do your best to live everyday as your last. You must find a reason to live. Your own reason. Not necessarily your neighbors.
I am sure you've heard this 1,000 times: Carpe Diem.
The truth is that we all take things for granted, we all have our good days, we all have our bad. We will all rise, and we will all fall.
|
I'll try to keep that in mind. Very interesting to think about.
|
If you realise that you are ignorant, but the task to get yourself informed is too large, then it is often good enough to just be aware that you are ignorant. It is not plausible that everyone should know everything, but it is reasonable to demand that people should be aware at what point their knowledge ends, and their ignorance begins.
+ Show Spoiler +I'm sure that anyone that has been on the bnet forums agree with me.
I haven't read your first blog (and from what I understand, I don't think I will. ), but it seems like you have problems understanding the people around you, which makes you dislike them. The solution then isn't to read up on psychology, but it is perfectly enough if you just realise and accept that you don't understand them. People do things that you find stupid/wrong/strange/we. Then rather than disliking them, realise that their way of thinking is different than yours, and that their actions make sense from their perspective. This should trigger a curiosity from you, to understand them better. Aka, to get to know people.
|
Less thinking, more doing! My opinions regarding this issue lies similar to those that already posted in this thread (and the thread before). Why do you judge others? On what basis? Do you compare well against others? These thoughts are not unnatural and in fact it's something everyone will do, on different levels, for the rest of their lives. However, most of those thoughts are better kept inside of your head, then tossed away sooner or later because a lot of it is highly irrelevant to the context of the situation and downright wrong in many cases. Yes, downright wrong.
I judge a lot of drivers on the highway to be damn right terrible drivers with absolutely horrible reflexes and decision making, and I wish their drivers licenses were revoked for the safety of others, then I get to my parking spot and I think about whether my own driving was good. Probably better than a lot of those bad drivers, but then it's not like my driving is flawless - I make mistakes sometimes too. Then all the thoughts vanish as I enter home and realize there is no rice in the cooker (dammit -_-).
My example was comparatively trivial, okay. I don't even know what point I was trying to make with that.
Anyway, it's okay to be thinking deeply about, just about anything, just 'stuff'. Sure, world is full of problems, but you are part of the problem and sometimes you are the problem. Embrace yourself as part of the whole - along with every person as each a unique piece that fits in to the whole scene - and enjoy life, really. Teenage years go by so quickly and there are so much to do!
*Edit: more on the matter: stop seeking absolute "answers" to shit around you and simply enjoy the process of learning / understanding new ideas and viewpoints. If you are a completely answer-driven (end-result-driven) person and don't appreciate the entire process, you will discover year by year that your options (to pretty much everything) will be severely limited...
|
As to the matter of being informed or uninformed, perhaps the answer is to be skeptical?
Yeah, I'll try to acquire a more friendly and hospitable deposition.
I don't know why I judge. Maybe so I can feel better about myself?
|
On April 19 2012 00:36 Cascade wrote:If you realise that you are ignorant, but the task to get yourself informed is too large, then it is often good enough to just be aware that you are ignorant. It is not plausible that everyone should know everything, but it is reasonable to demand that people should be aware at what point their knowledge ends, and their ignorance begins. + Show Spoiler +I'm sure that anyone that has been on the bnet forums agree with me. I haven't read your first blog (and from what I understand, I don't think I will. ), but it seems like you have problems understanding the people around you, which makes you dislike them. The solution then isn't to read up on psychology, but it is perfectly enough if you just realise and accept that you don't understand them. People do things that you find stupid/wrong/strange/we. Then rather than disliking them, realise that their way of thinking is different than yours, and that their actions make sense from their perspective. This should trigger a curiosity from you, to understand them better. Aka, to get to know people.
Quality post man :D
|
You could start to learn, by just going and doing things as opposed to viewing regular people of your age as alien. It's the same a a biologist reading a book as opposed to interacting with nature. Or a Doctor in a hospital full of patients, and rather than examining them; simply reading about conditions and how to interact with patients.
I have to admit one of the things which has led to the relative backlash or criticism against you, especially in your last blog, is your writing style. It comes across as smug, as if you're looking down on everyone else in the human race. The perfect example of this would be:
On April 18 2012 20:49 Azera wrote:
Not how I prefer to do things, chilling "the fuck out".
I mean, don't get me wrong, you're quoting him and it's grammatically correct. But you aren't putting the " around it for that reason, you're doing it because you look down on his word choice. At least that's the way it comes across. You're intelligent, we get it, don't hit us in the face with it.
Stop putting yourself under the microscope, stop putting everyone else under the microscope (whilst magnifying to a much greater degree than you did with the former) and interact with people in a way which isn't some giant experiment.
EDIT: put in the wrong quote ^^
|
Sorry, I'm still trying to get my writing style fixed, I'm reading "The Elements of Style" and am doing a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
|
Canada13386 Posts
On April 19 2012 00:00 Chef wrote:wll u kno u gotta sk8 bro. You're not the epitome of a teenager, you are just a regular teenager. Basically you're self-obsessed and trying to find a stable identity, whether by your reflection against others, or the comments you hear on the internet and from friends. You will grow mature when you actually know yourself, which has nothing to do with deciding a superficial identity, but with understanding what you like, what you're good at, etc. The more naturally you allow yourself to discover those things, the quicker you will mature If you like drawing and draw often, one day you will say 'I am a drawer' and stuff socks in your pockets.
This is the best advice. Your teenage years are about learning who you are.
You need to understand yourself, before you can begin to understand others.
|
I was once a normal person. A normal teenager. Sometimes loving, liking, disliking and hating. Then I lost the basic feelings. I could either love or hate. I am now unable to love. I am only left with hate and anger or an empty feeling.
Don't let anger get You. You'll lose everything that's defining us as people.
Also, I hate You.
Actually, I just don't care.
And it sucks.
And it doesn't.
That's why it sucks.
Learn how to like people, how to love them, how to care about them, for no reason. You don't need to tell them that. Just wish them best of luck in Your head from time to time. A lovely couple? Wish them a long, happy relationship.
Be nice to people and lie to Yourself that You don't need it back. We all do things for a reason. Only truth can set us free from the false description of "good".
I am 17 and I am a stupid, selfish, heartless, cold, cruel, feeling superior a lot of times guy.
You've realized that hate slowly consumes You. People pointed that out. Get rid of it before it gets You.
tl;dr I tried to be good but got depressed and everything I am left with is emptiness and hate, don't let hate overtake You, be a good person for the sake of it, learn that You have a lot to learn.
|
On April 18 2012 20:49 Azera wrote:
Not how I prefer to do things, chilling "the fuck out".
Oh, but this is a very important skill to cultivate.'
edit: The reason being, if you don't, you WILL go insane. Please believe me on this one.
|
for me it took being homeless to realize i shouldn't judge people
also getting high
|
what we do in life echoes in eternity. what do you want from life? If all you want in life is to be happy then find what makes you happy. if you have a list; complete it.
just follow your heart dogidy dog. dont force it
|
On April 19 2012 02:21 Kurumi wrote:
I was once a normal person. A normal teenager. Sometimes loving, liking, disliking and hating. Then I lost the basic feelings. I could either love or hate. I am now unable to love. I am only left with hate and anger or an empty feeling.
Don't let anger get You. You'll lose everything that's defining us as people.
Also, I hate You.
Actually, I just don't care.
And it sucks.
And it doesn't.
That's why it sucks.
Learn how to like people, how to love them, how to care about them, for no reason. You don't need to tell them that. Just wish them best of luck in Your head from time to time. A lovely couple? Wish them a long, happy relationship.
Be nice to people and lie to Yourself that You don't need it back. We all do things for a reason. Only truth can set us free from the false description of "good".
I am 17 and I am a stupid, selfish, heartless, cold, cruel, feeling superior a lot of times guy.
You've realized that hate slowly consumes You. People pointed that out. Get rid of it before it gets You.
tl;dr I tried to be good but got depressed and everything I am left with is emptiness and hate, don't let hate overtake You, be a good person for the sake of it, learn that You have a lot to learn.
Yeah, I'm a believer of doing good things just because it's the right thing to do, not because some religion or abstract rule says that I have to. Also, when you're doing something good, don't expect something in return, the act in itself is the reward.
On April 19 2012 02:24 sam!zdat wrote:Show nested quote +On April 18 2012 20:49 Azera wrote:
Not how I prefer to do things, chilling "the fuck out". Oh, but this is a very important skill to cultivate.' edit: The reason being, if you don't, you WILL go insane. Please believe me on this one.
Okay, so you're insane?
On April 19 2012 02:40 thrawn2112 wrote:
for me it took being homeless to realize i shouldn't judge people
also getting high
I would like to know your stor; how you got homeless, etc.
|
On April 18 2012 22:46 Azera wrote:
Also, to jeeeeohn, fuck you, I'm not a troll. How dare you even say something like that. Dick. Just look at all my blogs/posts and see if I look like a troll. If all teenagers want to do is fight, fuck, and argue, (I wouldn't know really), I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh.
I'm not about to have a pissing match with a 15 year old. Your real maturity shines through your response. You also glossed over anything helpful I wrote.
Listen, you've either experienced something truly traumatic to think like this (which I already said I could relate to and help you with), or you're a faux intellectual, IE a troll.
Also, of course you would know. It's basic human nature.
The moment you fall in love is the moment you stop caring about this crap, trust me.
|
On April 19 2012 00:40 Azera wrote:
As to the matter of being informed or uninformed, perhaps the answer is to be skeptical?
Seriously...read over everything you write, you will sound smarter. Don't try to use everyday words like they're jargon; it makes you sound like a try hard.
|
I'm 17, gonna be 18 soon and I, like most teenagers went through a depressed stage. Here are somethings to note about mine. It happened because of a lot of work i did went down the tube and I got rejected because I tried to be creative, not what the people wanted. It then spiralled out of control and well, i can say that now looking back on it, I still have some bitterness, but its a Teen thing. I suggest that you learn some psychology, especially growth and developmental psych, takes some classes on iTunes U.
Every kid goes through different phases, a la Piaget and Vygotsky. Then even further, Teens go through phases, this is one of them, the isolation phase, thank you Erikson, you seemingly have failed this phase, BUT FEAR NOT, its ok dude just chill .
What I'm trying to say is that the teen years are a learning experience, and that is all there is nothing that cannot be undone after you go to college, get a job and a real life/family, that you will look back on and not just kinda chuckle and say, I'm glad thats over with ^^. These years are formative, not termanitive + Show Spoiler +(if that is a word, but fuck it, its a word now)
P.S. I don't want to sound condescending because that would be hypocritical. Also the singaporian teacher is pretty much right.
P.P.S. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes my 'MURIKAN, is pretty meh 
Try your best, don't get down on yourself, and learn slowly, imbibe knowledge like osmosis, out with the old you, in with the new you, every day of your life. My school has a saying from Paul Bear Bryant, We train 365 days a year to dominate the competition, live life like you are trying to become better than your old you and love yourself like you learn to love others <3.
|
Dude stop overanalyzing everything, life doesn't have a build order, stop trying to find it.
Just try and find happiness, or pursue something you enjoy. Doing anything else is retarded.
|
imo there's no reason bashing on yourself, and there isn't any reason for everyone else to be bashing on you. you'll grow up on your own accord, life has a funny way of doing that!
|
On April 19 2012 14:56 Bswhunter wrote:
Dude stop overanalyzing everything, life doesn't have a build order, stop trying to find it.
Just try and find happiness, or pursue something you enjoy. Doing anything else is retarded.
This. Life turned out a lot simpler and happier when I realized that I didn't need to understand everything around me.
|
Is life much better if you just say "fuck it!" and go with the flow? I don't think so. I don't think I'll be happy with a life like that.
|
On April 19 2012 18:37 Azera wrote:
Is life much better if you just say "fuck it!" and go with the flow? I don't think so. I don't think I'll be happy with a life like that.
You seems to don't understand what he said. You're an "overthinker", (like I am but i'm trying to fix it). When you're overthinking something, you always find something bad about it and one bad thought lead to another, it eventually become an infinite loops of bad thoughts. Stop doing that, because chances are, most of the bad things you can think of doesn't even exist, you just made it up. Life would be much more happier without those unnecessary things. You said you can't be happy with a life like that but I doubt it, cause i'm sure everyone's happiest period of life is always their childhood when you don't really give a fuck about anything going on around you.
|
Hmm.
I'm a firm believer of "When life gives you lemons, don't throw them back. Make lemonade."
So instead of completely stopping overthinking about things (bad things), maybe I'll start overthinking about good things. But then that won't do, right? It's going to make me have too high of expectations of everything and I'll only be let down by the eventual outcome.
Ho hum
|
On April 19 2012 19:41 Azera wrote:
Hmm.
I'm a firm believer of "When life gives you lemons, don't throw them back. Make lemonade."
So instead of completely stopping overthinking about things (bad things), maybe I'll start overthinking about good things. But then that won't do, right? It's going to make me have too high of expectations of everything and I'll only be let down by the eventual outcome.
Ho hum
uhhh, not exactly what I meant but whatever.
|
What did you mean then, exactly?
|
On April 19 2012 19:56 Azera wrote:
What did you mean then, exactly?
What I meant is overthinking is bad whatever you're thinking about. Thinking in itself is good, but thinking too much will always end up with a lot of negative thoughts, and it will eventually become a loop of negative thoughts. On the other hand, overthinking will affect your long term memory. The subjects of overthinking most of the time are not important, so you're only wasting your time thinking about it.
In the end, it affect both your mental and physical well being, as well as affecting the productivity of your life. SO, stop doing it. Do what you want to do. Reflect without regret on the past because hey you can't undo anything you did and you should learn from your mistakes, but not overthinking about it.
In short, just stop overthinking and find a hobby.
|
I guess you're right. Overthinking sometimes makes me unhappy or angry.
I guess I should just go with the flow huh?
As for a hobby, maybe reading and gaming.
|
On April 19 2012 20:18 Azera wrote:
I guess you're right. Overthinking sometimes makes me unhappy or angry.
I guess I should just go with the flow huh?
As for a hobby, maybe reading and gaming.
As for "go with then flow", i'm not exactly sure what you meant by that but here is what I think you should do. Figure out what you want to do in life, what makes you think will make your life worth living. Some people achieve happiness through achievements (in this case, make a "to do" list), some people find happiness through their relationships with other people (in this case, be more open to other people around you), some people find happiness just because they are grateful that they're even living (in this case, "go with the flow"), etc. etc. You're the one who'll define your life, not us, so that's up to you to figure out, finding a hobby is one way of doing it.
|
On April 19 2012 20:18 Azera wrote:
I guess you're right. Overthinking sometimes makes me unhappy or angry.
I guess I should just go with the flow huh?
As for a hobby, maybe reading and gaming.
Sometimes there's really not much more we can do but go with whatever life gives us.
I was a lot like you during my teenage years and I can say that I grew out of it when I eventually found out that life is better when you don't think of it too much on a grand scale. Take the simple things you enjoy and cherish them. If it's reading and gaming, then try to spend more of your time reading great books, playing great games, getting into discussions about your favorite novels, games, or what have you.
I used to overthink about things a lot as well, especially with regards to human behaviour. I was so conscious about how I thought people would interpret the things I do. And I spent so much time trying to debunk the ulterior motive behind a person's action. I used to think I had it all figured out too until I ended up falling in love for the first time in my life. That first girl I fell in love pretty much shattered whatever I thought I knew about how people behave.
You're still young. Don't worry too much about things. You're only young once. Enjoy it!
|
On April 19 2012 18:37 Azera wrote:
Is life much better if you just say "fuck it!" and go with the flow? I don't think so. I don't think I'll be happy with a life like that.
You're misunderstanding what it means to go with the flow. It doesn't mean necessarily a life of ignorance or passivity as you're interpreting it. Going with the flow is realizing that sometimes you won't understand something and sometimes you won't be able to do anything, so stop trying to fight against the world all the time and go with the flow.
I am not you but the impression I'm getting reminds me of myself a little. Try to stop putting yourself in a position where you are all alone, doing nothing but thinking. For example hang out with your friends or just anything that helps you let loose. I had a recent experience that helped me realize this a little. Say you're at a concert with some friends. If you don't let loose, you experience the concert as an observer, detached from everyone else. In that situation you might start over-analyzing and judging people because you have nothing else to do. You will just get upset and cynical. If you let loose a little, join the crowd and become part of it then you stop thinking and you start to enjoy yourself. You get caught up in the moment with everyone else.
|
Man I'm glad I didn't leave a written record of when I was 15. If there was ever anything that makes you want to punch your own face....
|
Hey man I just felt the need to let you know that I am in the same boat as you, or a similar boat. I am actually much older than you (21), but I am kind of.. a late bloomer. I barely socialized in my teen years, and late teens I was very depressed. Nonetheless, I am making progress now.
What was most difficult for me was my social anxiety, and just anxiety in general. Im a pretty athletic guy, so much of my frustration and anger came from built up energy and just wanting to get out of situations. I dont know if its like this for you, but I definitely recommend exercising. However, I am not really someone to give you all the advice, because I still struggle with a lot of emotions, thoughts, and social problems. I am in a position to tell you that you can do it though and that we are all in this together. I would like for you see me as your friend and youre welcome to PM me. It feels like shit. And I am swimming in shit now too. The shit of anger, rage, frustration, all that good stuff
Edit: you're 15? man you're way ahead of me when I was 15
|
Yeah I think I definitely don't let myself get caught up in the moment and all that. I'm always very detached and become an observer.
|
On April 19 2012 20:18 Azera wrote:
I guess I should just go with the flow huh?
There you go. Just go be a teenager and try to enjoy it, it will be over before you know it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
