|
So I'm just a regular teenager. Well, maybe not a regular teenager. What I can be defined as, is that I'am the logical extreme of a teenager. I love to deceive myself into thinking that I'am not the same as the rest of the teenagers, to think that I do not behave like a teenager. But the hard truth is, I'am a teenager. Albeit not "normal" per se, given what I said about being the logical extreme, but I'am one. I have a PhD in Teenage-ism. I'am able to display teenage angst at a level higher than the rest.
Why I'am saying all this is because of a blog that I made a couple of days ago. I ranted about the most absurd things that plagues most teenagers while claiming that they are not problems most teenagers face. I ranted about the problems of the world today, giving off the impression that I was just an angry uninformed child whining about things I did not fully comprehend.
It's true.
A few comments in response to my blog really hit home.
zalz:
Because any teenager that drifts into the pitfall of self-agrandizement through faux-intellectualism is going to come crashing down sooner or later.
And the result always looks the same:
"Fuck the world, yo!"
You aren't a unique snowflake just because you hate humanity. That moronic concept is the pinacle of all angst. And most certainly not unique.
You might like to think that you are different from your peers, but you are in fact the most pure expression of your peers. Teenage angst, taken to its logical extreme.
You just rant against vague notions and reduce problems to childlike levels of complexity. You don't understand, because no teenager ever does. You will rant and scream how you are nothing like your peers, all the while being the most extreme version of those peers.
You aren't a teenager. You are king teenager, sitting on the mount Olympus of teenagers. Judging the peasant teenagers because they can only produce enough angst against their parents whilst you have enough angst to hate the whole human race.
Look how good I am. Look how smart I am.
Its been done before and done till death. You cannot possibly fathom just how moronic you sound atm, but you will in about 4-5 years.
Dfgi
My teacher in Singapore once explained something to me that you might find useful.
People go through four stages of understanding, as he put it:
1) Uninformed optimism: You don't understand anything, but it's good. Children.
2) Uninformed pessimism: You don't understand anything, but you think things suck. Teenagers, generally.
3) Informed pessimism: You start to understand things and realize how much they suck.
4) Informed optimism: You have enough understanding to see solutions and how stuff needs to work.
You're at 2. You don't really understand things yet, but the world isn't the ideal childhood dreamscape it was, and your conclusion is because the world is terrible. You're judging it against an ideal that never existed.
Liquid`NonY
Yeah this is a very good insight. If you (author of the blog) were really intellectual, then the behavior of your peers would be intriguing, not enraging. I've never explored the subject myself but I'm sure there is a ton of scientific literature on understanding the typical American teenager.
It seems you have absolutely no empathy for them. Or you think you do but it's definitely inaccurate because you think so little of them. Every person's behavior is a riddle for you to solve. Understanding the bad parts makes them more tolerable. Understanding how a person thinks makes it easier to get along with them because you can level with them. If you're nice then you can level with them and be friendly. If you're mean then you can level with them just to manipulate them. Either way, you cannot act yourself unless they understand you too.
And, well, most people have a different "self" that they are when they're around their best friend, another when around close friends, another around coworkers, another around parents, another around siblings, another around significant other, another around children, etc, and finally the "true" self that they are when they're alone. No one will ever fully understand you. You will always be leveling with people and/or always be dealing with some extent of detachment from them. But remember you can't always "fake it" or no one will ever get closer to you and understand you better. So sometimes you gotta fake it to keep things smooth and sometimes you gotta be real and hope that it works out.
Teenagers are really terrible at understanding someone foreign to them. They can only understand someone that's very much like themselves. And if there's no one around like themselves, they can simplify interactions with others to the point that no real understanding of each other is necessary. Some would call that superficial but others might call it making the best of the situation. Like if I'm gonna interact with a stranger for only 15 seconds in my whole life, I may as well abandon hope of some deep connection and be satisfied with the good will and pleasantness of manners and a smile. And if I'm gonna go to school with teenagers for four years of my life, then maybe I do a similar thing. But if you're in a position where you're not experienced enough to truly empathize with others and you have a prejudice against superficial interaction, then you're gonna hate the world.
Admittedly, I was embarrassed by all the comments. But that is nothing to be ashamed of. I learned a couple of things about myself that I would have preferred not to have heard. If I heard these words from anybody else, I would cover my ears (not literally) and yell inwardly "That's not true!" continuously.
Things that were hard for me to digest
- I argue and complain about things that I do not fully understand. Ergo, I'am uninformed and ignorant.
- I'am not like my peers, but not in a good way. I'am them times ten. 10 ≠ 1
- I'am narrow-minded. I can not empathize with my peers because think I'am superior to them. I hate them because they are different.
- Underneath, I'am an immature brat.
What am I going to do now? That's the question. I'am blessed to have all my flaws pointed out so blatantly. Not only my flaws, but the flaws of almost, if not all teenagers.
The first thing I should do of course, is to become informed. How will I do this? Read the news, read books pertaining to the subject that I will want to talk about? I don't think that is good enough. I think I'll continue making blogs about things that I don't fully comprehend, but I won't rant or complain. I'll talk briefly about the subject, then look for feedback.
Second, I will have to try to better understand my peers. Maybe I'll try to read a couple of books on the teenage/adolescent mind. Thinking about this makes me feel a little bit weird. I'll be reading books on myself then? Huh. The idea of it is intriguing. I think while I learn more about myself and my peers I should become a peaceful observer, an amateur scientist making observations and experimenting.
I'am still stumped at the moment, so if anybody has advice, it will be much appreciated.
 
|
Do. Don't read about it. One of the best methods of understanding is through experience.
Create life experiences that set you apart, they'll help you understand yourself.
|
just chill the fuck out and go make some friends, this will all be solved with time, no homework is required, this isn't a school test
|
Not how I prefer to do things, chilling "the fuck out".
|
some things just take time...
|
I agree with the two first posters, don't go reading about the teenage mind, you are a teenager! Just interact on a teenager level with other teenagers. You'll realise how similar you are to pretty much everyone once you get to know others more. They all probably think they're different too, you know. You'll figure out a lot more as you get older, even in just a few years.
Also, so many instances of "I'am", not sure whether you meant there to be a space and no apostrophe or no "a". I'm guessing you're probably just tired from all that introspection and trying to analyse your peers.
|
Reading books on the subject of teenagers, i.e. yourself, will be an enlightening moment for you, believe me. The only problem is that it won't necessarily help you. By that I mean that the unlikeable things about us are usually emotions which we can't control. It's therefore of no benefit per se to know about these things since you can't do anything about them. I know I shouldn't get angry at this or that but I can't help it. They're emotions that are so deep in us that we can't suppress them. The only thing you can do is wait it out. This phase will pass and you'll most likely become a normal adult like the rest of us (within reason).
|
Why do you write I'am instead of I'm or I am?
Also I know what you're going through, when I was younger I thought I was definitely the smartest person of my age because everyone else was so 'regular' and they just didnt SEE things the way I did, couldnt pierce the veil of the obvious to join me on my pedestal of observational prowess. I thought I 'solved' religion, and always had some malformed opinion of my country's political situation.
Now I realize just how un-snowflake like I am, and how pathetic my intellect and ability to comprehend new ideas is compared to people I've met, much less people I've heard about/read about/seen.
|
Just lay back and enjoy it. Do as much stupid shit as possible, because you will not be able to later in life.
Also when you turn 25, you will already be reminding yourself how much stupid shit you have done during teenage years and how much fun it was. Trust me
|
On April 18 2012 20:24 Azera wrote:Things that were hard for me to digest
- I argue and complain about things that I do not fully understand. Ergo, I'am uninformed and ignorant.
- I'am not like my peers, but not in a good way. I'am them times ten. 10 ≠ 1
- I'am narrow-minded. I can not empathize with my peers because think I'am superior to them. I hate them because they are different.
- Underneath, I'am an immature brat.
What am I going to do now? That's the question. I'am blessed to have all my flaws pointed out so blatantly. Not only my flaws, but the flaws of almost, if not all teenagers. The first thing I should do of course, is to become informed. How will I do this? Read the news, read books pertaining to the subject that I will want to talk about? I don't think that is good enough. I think I'll continue making blogs about things that I don't fully comprehend, but I won't rant or complain. I'll talk briefly about the subject, then look for feedback. Second, I will have to try to better understand my peers. Maybe I'll try to read a couple of books on the teenage/adolescent mind. Thinking about this makes me feel a little bit weird. I'll be reading books on myself then? Huh. The idea of it is intriguing. I think while I learn more about myself and my peers I should become a peaceful observer, an amateur scientist making observations and experimenting. I'am still stumped at the moment, so if anybody has advice, it will be much appreciated.
I can't help but notice that all your actionable points are independent activities. You're trying really hard to understand people through some kind of research project.
Granted, there's nothing wrong with reading up on topics and issues with which you are not informed, but that won't necessarily bring fulfillment. You'll find that if you're correct you're either completely ignored or downplayed (especially in online forums). Learn about a topic because you want to expand your knowledge, not so you can discuss it with others better. Otherwise if you don't get the response you desire you may become very bitter at all the people who didn't listen.
Why not just go out and experience life? Hang out with friends, talk over lunch, chill in the hallways before class, etc. Empathy, the ability to put yourself in the shoes of another, is wrought through interpersonal experiences, not some academic's book on the teenage mind.
For the record, there's no point in life where you suddenly reach "enlightenment". College kids think they know everything, but then they graduate, hit the real world, and find they know nothing. Some will fool themselves into thinking they have it figured out, but they really don't. Part of "growing up" is realizing that you're always "growing up".
|
Dfgi
My teacher in Singapore once explained something to me that you might find useful.
People go through four stages of understanding, as he put it:
1) Uninformed optimism: You don't understand anything, but it's good. Children.
2) Uninformed pessimism: You don't understand anything, but you think things suck. Teenagers, generally.
3) Informed pessimism: You start to understand things and realize how much they suck.
4) Informed optimism: You have enough understanding to see solutions and how stuff needs to work.
You're at 2. You don't really understand things yet, but the world isn't the ideal childhood dreamscape it was, and your conclusion is because the world is terrible. You're judging it against an ideal that never existed.
This comment is so true that I don't even know where I should start. I'm currently between 2 and 3 and this exactly what I believe in and it keeps me going through this period of my life.
EDIT: wait, i have never went through 2, maybe between 3 & 4
|
LOL, don't read book on teenagers.
You can only learn through experience, so do only that. You will not always look down on your peers, at least not to the same extent you do now. You'll start to understand why they behave they do, and you won't hate them for it.
I went through a similar phase - only I recognized that for me to be happy I needed to fit in to some extent. I enjoyed the company but rarely respected the people I was hanging around, the values ingrained into me were not shared by others. And this is something hard to recognize as a teenager...
Insight is great, it's empowering. But it can also be a burden. You need to be able to channel the greater level of understanding to your own benefit. That sometimes means being selfish, or simply 'using' people because as a human being, you need social interactions to keep you emotionally healthy. This is more normal than it sounds, most people just fail to see it.
That goes without saying, like Nony said, no one will fully understand you. And you will never fully understand someone else (but who really wants to fully understand someone else, the concept seems utterly boring.) There will be people that you respect for your own reasons and while you don't have to be best mates, sometimes the most simple interactions are the most meaningful.
My best advice is don't think too much. It gets habitual, and it can be annoying. Sometimes it's nice to live life on automatic here and there, not observing every person and event, why it happened, and it's possible ramifications. You're young, so BE young, and all you have to be is open to learning new things along the way. Expect to be surprised, and try not jump to big conclusions.
|
Jesus kid, has anything bad ever happened to you EVER?
If yes, then maybe I can understand this just a little bit, because I was similar at your age (not so extreme though).
If no, then you have no business thinking this way and should really just lighten up. If you're lonely it's self-imposed. If you're depressed it's self-inflicted.
Honestly I'm beginning to believe you're an elaborate troll. Reading books about the teenage mind? Are you kidding me? Teenagers are not complicated: they want to fight, fuck, and argue. The point is to find friends that you like.
There's nothing better than friendship. It sounds cheesy but it's true. There's nothing better than knowing someone is there for life. There's nothing complicated about friendship. It's simple and clean.
I'm sorry if that came across harsh, it's just that I have very little sympathy for young teens because I was just like you at one point, and I'm just old enough (19) to look back with some perspective and realize that while I was smart, and still am, it doesn't mean you're the smartest. You'll find people with all kinds of view points, and they'll open up the narrow world you're living in. Meeting people who know more than you is always a pleasure in life, especially if you're curious about how things work.
Unless you're building a nuclear reactor in your garage, or something, then yeah, you're probably pretty average.
Now, if something really despicable happened to you to make you want to analyze every single event (which I can understand), then feel free to PM me and maybe I can help, because I can relate. I can promise you that it gets better, and easier, with time. But you have to stop pressuring yourself to change. You can't force change. It just comes as you get older.
|
I don't know why I use "I'am", bad habit I guess.
Thanks for all the advice anyway, I'll take some time to think about it.
Also, to jeeeeohn, fuck you, I'm not a troll. How dare you even say something like that. Dick. Just look at all my blogs/posts and see if I look like a troll. If all teenagers want to do is fight, fuck, and argue, (I wouldn't know really), I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh.
|
On April 18 2012 22:46 Azera wrote:
I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh.
You say that as if fucking was a bad thing.
Also, chilling the fuck out is a good thing at your age, as you probably won't chill out anymore until you are 70yo.
|
On April 18 2012 22:55 Xiron wrote:Show nested quote +On April 18 2012 22:46 Azera wrote:
I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh. You say that as if fucking was a bad thing.
I'm pretty open to sexual relief between two parties if it's a serious relationship, but seeing as how things tend to be how people my age...
Also, sick signature man. I love his speech in the great dictator.
|
serious relationship ? You're more likely to have a serious relationship with someone that randomly replies on your blog than with a girl. This sounds more like "i'm too awesome to get a girl" because you can't get one.
You can barely survive on your own and you think the highschool is a jungle full of chimps, this mentality is not suited for someone who calls a serious relationship.
My bet is that you hate yourself too much and you need to release that hate not by ranting about others but getting in close to them to link yourself to that source that inspire your hate, then you can share it with others without being afraid of their reaction.
Yes, every girl that laughs at you at school might be a low-brained bitch but that low brained bitch once tamed can give you what you do want from her but are too afraid to ask because you think you're too special. And you don't want a serious relationship, that's just acting smart for a lost cause. You want fun and want it desperately.
Get started on reading adventure and sci-fi books, stay away from philosophy/humanitarian/history books. Want heads, start with Alexandre Dumas and Jules Verne. I read them all by your age and i highly recomend it you do it too.
|
Don't worry about other teenagers, or your peers. Find something to be happy about instead! :D Happiness comes before success.
|
On April 18 2012 22:58 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On April 18 2012 22:55 Xiron wrote:On April 18 2012 22:46 Azera wrote:
I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh. You say that as if fucking was a bad thing. I'm pretty open to sexual relief between two parties if it's a serious relationship, but seeing as how things tend to be how people my age... Also, sick signature man. I love his speech in the great dictator.
Well I agree, you are 15 and not around my age 17-18.
Yeah, that speech is the best I've ever heard and probably will ever hear.
And it somewhat reflects the behaviour of you and me, the teenagers. We grow up in a world of hate and greed, and so 'greed has poisened or souls. Our knowlegde has made us cynical, our intellect hard and unkind. We think too much, and feel too little.'
We don't have to follow the steps mankind is taking right now.
But we certainly will. It's not that we'd want to, it's that our society takes us into that direction.
I can totally understand you, looking around, the majority of teenagers don't care at all. I know the feeling of not belonging to them.
But I just came to realize:
1st. There are a lot of amazing people just like you out there. They seem to vanish in the masses, but once you find them, you'll notice them shining bright amongst the dust that is our society.
2nd. I will have to play the role that society is forcing upon me. I can't just do what I want and be a part of mankind.
I decided, that I'd rather 'fight, argue and fuck' ( in other words 'have fun' , not necessarily fight and argue...) than to sit here in my lonely room and complain that the world I live in sucks. Yes, it sucks. But it won't change. It does not matter to the world if I have fun or I don't.
My only goal in life is happiness. I'd like to save the earth; be part of something amazing. But let's be realistic. That's never going to happen. There were hundreds of thousands before me and they all failed.
So what's left for us cynical teenagers, that face the end of the world? Make the best of it. Have fun. Don't take everything too serious, because you can't do anything about it.
|
On April 18 2012 23:31 Xiron wrote:Show nested quote +On April 18 2012 22:58 Azera wrote:On April 18 2012 22:55 Xiron wrote:On April 18 2012 22:46 Azera wrote:
I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh. You say that as if fucking was a bad thing. I'm pretty open to sexual relief between two parties if it's a serious relationship, but seeing as how things tend to be how people my age... Also, sick signature man. I love his speech in the great dictator. Well I agree, you are 15 and not around my age 17-18. Yeah, that speech is the best I've ever heard and probably will ever hear. And it somewhat reflects the behaviour of you and me, the teenagers. We grow up in a world of hate and greed, and so 'greed has poisened or souls. Our knowlegde has made us cynical, our intellect hard and unkind. We think too much, and feel too little.' We don't have to follow the steps mankind is taking right now. But we certainly will. It's not that we'd want to, it's that our society takes us into that direction. I can totally understand you, looking around, the majority of teenagers don't care at all. I know the feeling of not belonging to them. But I just came to realize: 1st. There are a lot of amazing people just like you out there. They seem to vanish in the masses, but once you find them, you'll notice them shining bright amongst the dust that is our society. 2nd. I will have to play the role that society is forcing upon me. I can't just do what I want and be a part of mankind. I decided, that I'd rather 'fight, argue and fuck' ( in other words 'have fun' , not necessarily fight and argue...) than to sit here in my lonely room and complain that the world I live in sucks. Yes, it sucks. But it won't change. It does not matter to the world if I have fun or I don't. My only goal in life is happiness. I'd like to save the earth; be part of something amazing. But let's be realistic. That's never going to happen. There were hundreds of thousands before me and they all failed. So what's left for us cynical teenagers, that face the end of the world? Make the best of it. Have fun. Don't take everything too serious, because you can't do anything about it.
Well said, friend.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
