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On April 19 2012 02:21 Kurumi wrote:
I was once a normal person. A normal teenager. Sometimes loving, liking, disliking and hating. Then I lost the basic feelings. I could either love or hate. I am now unable to love. I am only left with hate and anger or an empty feeling.
Don't let anger get You. You'll lose everything that's defining us as people.
Also, I hate You.
Actually, I just don't care.
And it sucks.
And it doesn't.
That's why it sucks.
Learn how to like people, how to love them, how to care about them, for no reason. You don't need to tell them that. Just wish them best of luck in Your head from time to time. A lovely couple? Wish them a long, happy relationship.
Be nice to people and lie to Yourself that You don't need it back. We all do things for a reason. Only truth can set us free from the false description of "good".
I am 17 and I am a stupid, selfish, heartless, cold, cruel, feeling superior a lot of times guy.
You've realized that hate slowly consumes You. People pointed that out. Get rid of it before it gets You.
tl;dr I tried to be good but got depressed and everything I am left with is emptiness and hate, don't let hate overtake You, be a good person for the sake of it, learn that You have a lot to learn.
Yeah, I'm a believer of doing good things just because it's the right thing to do, not because some religion or abstract rule says that I have to. Also, when you're doing something good, don't expect something in return, the act in itself is the reward.
On April 19 2012 02:24 sam!zdat wrote:Show nested quote +On April 18 2012 20:49 Azera wrote:
Not how I prefer to do things, chilling "the fuck out". Oh, but this is a very important skill to cultivate.' edit: The reason being, if you don't, you WILL go insane. Please believe me on this one.
Okay, so you're insane?
On April 19 2012 02:40 thrawn2112 wrote:
for me it took being homeless to realize i shouldn't judge people
also getting high
I would like to know your stor; how you got homeless, etc.
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On April 18 2012 22:46 Azera wrote:
Also, to jeeeeohn, fuck you, I'm not a troll. How dare you even say something like that. Dick. Just look at all my blogs/posts and see if I look like a troll. If all teenagers want to do is fight, fuck, and argue, (I wouldn't know really), I guess I better get myself some pussy or get my dick sucked eh? I mean I can take the arguing and fighting, so fucking shouldn't be any problem huh.
I'm not about to have a pissing match with a 15 year old. Your real maturity shines through your response. You also glossed over anything helpful I wrote.
Listen, you've either experienced something truly traumatic to think like this (which I already said I could relate to and help you with), or you're a faux intellectual, IE a troll.
Also, of course you would know. It's basic human nature.
The moment you fall in love is the moment you stop caring about this crap, trust me.
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On April 19 2012 00:40 Azera wrote:
As to the matter of being informed or uninformed, perhaps the answer is to be skeptical?
Seriously...read over everything you write, you will sound smarter. Don't try to use everyday words like they're jargon; it makes you sound like a try hard.
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I'm 17, gonna be 18 soon and I, like most teenagers went through a depressed stage. Here are somethings to note about mine. It happened because of a lot of work i did went down the tube and I got rejected because I tried to be creative, not what the people wanted. It then spiralled out of control and well, i can say that now looking back on it, I still have some bitterness, but its a Teen thing. I suggest that you learn some psychology, especially growth and developmental psych, takes some classes on iTunes U.
Every kid goes through different phases, a la Piaget and Vygotsky. Then even further, Teens go through phases, this is one of them, the isolation phase, thank you Erikson, you seemingly have failed this phase, BUT FEAR NOT, its ok dude just chill .
What I'm trying to say is that the teen years are a learning experience, and that is all there is nothing that cannot be undone after you go to college, get a job and a real life/family, that you will look back on and not just kinda chuckle and say, I'm glad thats over with ^^. These years are formative, not termanitive + Show Spoiler +(if that is a word, but fuck it, its a word now)
P.S. I don't want to sound condescending because that would be hypocritical. Also the singaporian teacher is pretty much right.
P.P.S. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes my 'MURIKAN, is pretty meh 
Try your best, don't get down on yourself, and learn slowly, imbibe knowledge like osmosis, out with the old you, in with the new you, every day of your life. My school has a saying from Paul Bear Bryant, We train 365 days a year to dominate the competition, live life like you are trying to become better than your old you and love yourself like you learn to love others <3.
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Dude stop overanalyzing everything, life doesn't have a build order, stop trying to find it.
Just try and find happiness, or pursue something you enjoy. Doing anything else is retarded.
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imo there's no reason bashing on yourself, and there isn't any reason for everyone else to be bashing on you. you'll grow up on your own accord, life has a funny way of doing that!
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On April 19 2012 14:56 Bswhunter wrote:
Dude stop overanalyzing everything, life doesn't have a build order, stop trying to find it.
Just try and find happiness, or pursue something you enjoy. Doing anything else is retarded.
This. Life turned out a lot simpler and happier when I realized that I didn't need to understand everything around me.
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Is life much better if you just say "fuck it!" and go with the flow? I don't think so. I don't think I'll be happy with a life like that.
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On April 19 2012 18:37 Azera wrote:
Is life much better if you just say "fuck it!" and go with the flow? I don't think so. I don't think I'll be happy with a life like that.
You seems to don't understand what he said. You're an "overthinker", (like I am but i'm trying to fix it). When you're overthinking something, you always find something bad about it and one bad thought lead to another, it eventually become an infinite loops of bad thoughts. Stop doing that, because chances are, most of the bad things you can think of doesn't even exist, you just made it up. Life would be much more happier without those unnecessary things. You said you can't be happy with a life like that but I doubt it, cause i'm sure everyone's happiest period of life is always their childhood when you don't really give a fuck about anything going on around you.
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Hmm.
I'm a firm believer of "When life gives you lemons, don't throw them back. Make lemonade."
So instead of completely stopping overthinking about things (bad things), maybe I'll start overthinking about good things. But then that won't do, right? It's going to make me have too high of expectations of everything and I'll only be let down by the eventual outcome.
Ho hum
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On April 19 2012 19:41 Azera wrote:
Hmm.
I'm a firm believer of "When life gives you lemons, don't throw them back. Make lemonade."
So instead of completely stopping overthinking about things (bad things), maybe I'll start overthinking about good things. But then that won't do, right? It's going to make me have too high of expectations of everything and I'll only be let down by the eventual outcome.
Ho hum
uhhh, not exactly what I meant but whatever.
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What did you mean then, exactly?
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On April 19 2012 19:56 Azera wrote:
What did you mean then, exactly?
What I meant is overthinking is bad whatever you're thinking about. Thinking in itself is good, but thinking too much will always end up with a lot of negative thoughts, and it will eventually become a loop of negative thoughts. On the other hand, overthinking will affect your long term memory. The subjects of overthinking most of the time are not important, so you're only wasting your time thinking about it.
In the end, it affect both your mental and physical well being, as well as affecting the productivity of your life. SO, stop doing it. Do what you want to do. Reflect without regret on the past because hey you can't undo anything you did and you should learn from your mistakes, but not overthinking about it.
In short, just stop overthinking and find a hobby.
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I guess you're right. Overthinking sometimes makes me unhappy or angry.
I guess I should just go with the flow huh?
As for a hobby, maybe reading and gaming.
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On April 19 2012 20:18 Azera wrote:
I guess you're right. Overthinking sometimes makes me unhappy or angry.
I guess I should just go with the flow huh?
As for a hobby, maybe reading and gaming.
As for "go with then flow", i'm not exactly sure what you meant by that but here is what I think you should do. Figure out what you want to do in life, what makes you think will make your life worth living. Some people achieve happiness through achievements (in this case, make a "to do" list), some people find happiness through their relationships with other people (in this case, be more open to other people around you), some people find happiness just because they are grateful that they're even living (in this case, "go with the flow"), etc. etc. You're the one who'll define your life, not us, so that's up to you to figure out, finding a hobby is one way of doing it.
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On April 19 2012 20:18 Azera wrote:
I guess you're right. Overthinking sometimes makes me unhappy or angry.
I guess I should just go with the flow huh?
As for a hobby, maybe reading and gaming.
Sometimes there's really not much more we can do but go with whatever life gives us.
I was a lot like you during my teenage years and I can say that I grew out of it when I eventually found out that life is better when you don't think of it too much on a grand scale. Take the simple things you enjoy and cherish them. If it's reading and gaming, then try to spend more of your time reading great books, playing great games, getting into discussions about your favorite novels, games, or what have you.
I used to overthink about things a lot as well, especially with regards to human behaviour. I was so conscious about how I thought people would interpret the things I do. And I spent so much time trying to debunk the ulterior motive behind a person's action. I used to think I had it all figured out too until I ended up falling in love for the first time in my life. That first girl I fell in love pretty much shattered whatever I thought I knew about how people behave.
You're still young. Don't worry too much about things. You're only young once. Enjoy it!
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On April 19 2012 18:37 Azera wrote:
Is life much better if you just say "fuck it!" and go with the flow? I don't think so. I don't think I'll be happy with a life like that.
You're misunderstanding what it means to go with the flow. It doesn't mean necessarily a life of ignorance or passivity as you're interpreting it. Going with the flow is realizing that sometimes you won't understand something and sometimes you won't be able to do anything, so stop trying to fight against the world all the time and go with the flow.
I am not you but the impression I'm getting reminds me of myself a little. Try to stop putting yourself in a position where you are all alone, doing nothing but thinking. For example hang out with your friends or just anything that helps you let loose. I had a recent experience that helped me realize this a little. Say you're at a concert with some friends. If you don't let loose, you experience the concert as an observer, detached from everyone else. In that situation you might start over-analyzing and judging people because you have nothing else to do. You will just get upset and cynical. If you let loose a little, join the crowd and become part of it then you stop thinking and you start to enjoy yourself. You get caught up in the moment with everyone else.
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Man I'm glad I didn't leave a written record of when I was 15. If there was ever anything that makes you want to punch your own face....
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Hey man I just felt the need to let you know that I am in the same boat as you, or a similar boat. I am actually much older than you (21), but I am kind of.. a late bloomer. I barely socialized in my teen years, and late teens I was very depressed. Nonetheless, I am making progress now.
What was most difficult for me was my social anxiety, and just anxiety in general. Im a pretty athletic guy, so much of my frustration and anger came from built up energy and just wanting to get out of situations. I dont know if its like this for you, but I definitely recommend exercising. However, I am not really someone to give you all the advice, because I still struggle with a lot of emotions, thoughts, and social problems. I am in a position to tell you that you can do it though and that we are all in this together. I would like for you see me as your friend and youre welcome to PM me. It feels like shit. And I am swimming in shit now too. The shit of anger, rage, frustration, all that good stuff 
Edit: you're 15? man you're way ahead of me when I was 15
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Yeah I think I definitely don't let myself get caught up in the moment and all that. I'm always very detached and become an observer.
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EPT
