EPTThis is where my frustration stemmed from.
Frustration 1: My boyfriend takes the game very seriously. In 2v2 he would communicate to me like I was one of his starcraft colleagues. Result, I didn't understand a thing he was trying to get me to do, so he would get frustrated himself.
Solution: I opened up to the fact that I felt frustrated that I couldn't understand his abbrev. talk and that I don't like being yelled at during a game. Each time we agree to play I remind him not to yell at me and that we should discuss some strategies beforehand and develop a communication system we both can understand.
Frustration 2: I felt we were unequal and therefore I was not worthy to play with him. We have been trying to get a game we can play together, and this frustration extends to other games. He picks things up quickly, since he has spent more hours and dedication to playing games than I have throughout my life (I've had a vast of other interests, such as knitting).
Solution: Get over it. Simply. I accepted the fact he is better at games than me. He puts more time and energy into it. Therefore, instead of viewing him as a rival, I see him as a Sensei. I may verse him and lose every game. However, instead of getting angry, we look at the replays and fully analyse my game. Just the fact that I am playing with him forces me to get better. I can allow him to be my teacher in gaming, as I can be a teacher to him in other things.
Frustration 3: I didn't get it. This stemmed from my stubborness, defensiveness and also frustration. I just wanted to blame and rage.
Solution: Instead of having unhelpful behaviours I came up with a better perspective. I asked myself, how can I make this situation feel better for me? View it as a challenge. If it was easy, then it wouldn't be as fun.
My defensiveness also hindered my learning. My boyfriend would stop teaching the minute I became defensive. I hated him for it, but he was right.
Summary:
Talk to her. Discover where her frustration stems from through conversation and have her come up with a solution. As a female she will probably be bitter and try to inforce blame on something else (I know, I am one!). Persist, but don't be forceful. Truth is, the frustration comes from within herself, therefore the change has to occur in there too.
Ask her, what would make it better for her? Not only what you can do, but what can she do too?
If time is what hinders her to become better, then that is a fact she has to accept if she is unwilling to create more time for the starcraft.
The thank you is enough. Would like to know how it goes.
