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The woman and starcraft - Page 3

Blogs > laLAlA[uC]
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Isolath
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Australia17 Posts
February 22 2012 02:50 GMT
#41
I understand your girlfriend's frustration since I myself felt the same towards my boyfriend. I've not played for long and am still in Bronze and he is heading into Masters. So there is obviously a big difference in ability and experience.

This is where my frustration stemmed from.

Frustration 1: My boyfriend takes the game very seriously. In 2v2 he would communicate to me like I was one of his starcraft colleagues. Result, I didn't understand a thing he was trying to get me to do, so he would get frustrated himself.
Solution: I opened up to the fact that I felt frustrated that I couldn't understand his abbrev. talk and that I don't like being yelled at during a game. Each time we agree to play I remind him not to yell at me and that we should discuss some strategies beforehand and develop a communication system we both can understand.

Frustration 2: I felt we were unequal and therefore I was not worthy to play with him. We have been trying to get a game we can play together, and this frustration extends to other games. He picks things up quickly, since he has spent more hours and dedication to playing games than I have throughout my life (I've had a vast of other interests, such as knitting).
Solution: Get over it. Simply. I accepted the fact he is better at games than me. He puts more time and energy into it. Therefore, instead of viewing him as a rival, I see him as a Sensei. I may verse him and lose every game. However, instead of getting angry, we look at the replays and fully analyse my game. Just the fact that I am playing with him forces me to get better. I can allow him to be my teacher in gaming, as I can be a teacher to him in other things.

Frustration 3: I didn't get it. This stemmed from my stubborness, defensiveness and also frustration. I just wanted to blame and rage.
Solution: Instead of having unhelpful behaviours I came up with a better perspective. I asked myself, how can I make this situation feel better for me? View it as a challenge. If it was easy, then it wouldn't be as fun.
My defensiveness also hindered my learning. My boyfriend would stop teaching the minute I became defensive. I hated him for it, but he was right.

Summary:
Talk to her. Discover where her frustration stems from through conversation and have her come up with a solution. As a female she will probably be bitter and try to inforce blame on something else (I know, I am one!). Persist, but don't be forceful. Truth is, the frustration comes from within herself, therefore the change has to occur in there too.

Ask her, what would make it better for her? Not only what you can do, but what can she do too?

If time is what hinders her to become better, then that is a fact she has to accept if she is unwilling to create more time for the starcraft.
somewhere there is somebody doing something
Isolath
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Australia17 Posts
February 22 2012 02:56 GMT
#42
On February 20 2012 17:48 jinfreaks wrote:
By coaching, i hope you dont mean telling her to do things in game. As playing starcraft (i assume II, but bw is also the same) already takes up a lot of mental concentration. Not many people can react to outer stimuli while playing, it may also cause stress and affect gameplay as well.

Instead just check replays that she has lost with her and try to point out things to improve, bad habits, etc. You also have to be pretty active during this period and ask her what she was thinking with some of the moves she made.

At least, that is what a friend of mine that sort of coached me in sc bw (ah the good times) used to do and it helped me immensely.

At least this method is pretty easily done online in chat, and you could always look it over yourself and then talk to her about it when you dont have time.


Completely agree with this statement.
somewhere there is somebody doing something
laLAlA[uC]
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Canada963 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-22 02:59:43
February 22 2012 02:58 GMT
#43
On February 22 2012 11:50 Isolath wrote:
I understand your girlfriend's frustration since I myself felt the same towards my boyfriend. I've not played for long and am still in Bronze and he is heading into Masters. So there is obviously a big difference in ability and experience.

This is where my frustration stemmed from.

Frustration 1: My boyfriend takes the game very seriously. In 2v2 he would communicate to me like I was one of his starcraft colleagues. Result, I didn't understand a thing he was trying to get me to do, so he would get frustrated himself.
Solution: I opened up to the fact that I felt frustrated that I couldn't understand his abbrev. talk and that I don't like being yelled at during a game. Each time we agree to play I remind him not to yell at me and that we should discuss some strategies beforehand and develop a communication system we both can understand.

Frustration 2: I felt we were unequal and therefore I was not worthy to play with him. We have been trying to get a game we can play together, and this frustration extends to other games. He picks things up quickly, since he has spent more hours and dedication to playing games than I have throughout my life (I've had a vast of other interests, such as knitting).
Solution: Get over it. Simply. I accepted the fact he is better at games than me. He puts more time and energy into it. Therefore, instead of viewing him as a rival, I see him as a Sensei. I may verse him and lose every game. However, instead of getting angry, we look at the replays and fully analyse my game. Just the fact that I am playing with him forces me to get better. I can allow him to be my teacher in gaming, as I can be a teacher to him in other things.

Frustration 3: I didn't get it. This stemmed from my stubborness, defensiveness and also frustration. I just wanted to blame and rage.
Solution: Instead of having unhelpful behaviours I came up with a better perspective. I asked myself, how can I make this situation feel better for me? View it as a challenge. If it was easy, then it wouldn't be as fun.
My defensiveness also hindered my learning. My boyfriend would stop teaching the minute I became defensive. I hated him for it, but he was right.

Summary:
Talk to her. Discover where her frustration stems from through conversation and have her come up with a solution. As a female she will probably be bitter and try to inforce blame on something else (I know, I am one!). Persist, but don't be forceful. Truth is, the frustration comes from within herself, therefore the change has to occur in there too.

Ask her, what would make it better for her? Not only what you can do, but what can she do too?

If time is what hinders her to become better, then that is a fact she has to accept if she is unwilling to create more time for the starcraft.



Holy fucking shit >:
You are lifesaver. Ty <3

Where is my +1, + rep or upvote button.
I'm an old man now
StarStruck
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
25339 Posts
February 22 2012 04:15 GMT
#44
You don't need that shit. The "Thank you" is more than enough.
Isolath
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Australia17 Posts
February 22 2012 06:11 GMT
#45
On February 22 2012 11:58 laLAlA[uC] wrote:

Holy fucking shit >:
You are lifesaver. Ty <3

Where is my +1, + rep or upvote button.


The thank you is enough. Would like to know how it goes.
somewhere there is somebody doing something
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9110 Posts
February 22 2012 06:37 GMT
#46
Get another (or use your current one I guess) account and tank the MMR when you aren't playing with her so you have easier opponents? Obviously not actually a good solution as it avoids the real issue though.
Azzur
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Australia6267 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-22 07:19:16
February 22 2012 07:18 GMT
#47
You can make it a game:

Minor mistake - 10 points
Major mistake - 100 points
Loss in 2v2 due to her fault - 100 points
etc

Every 100 points = a "punishment" :p
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