|
Lately I've been having this issue with my girlfriend and Starcraft. She loves playing games, and one of her favourites is Starcraft. We always used to play a lot of 2v2 together but lately she seems to get frustrated a lot. Whenever she loses she acts like its the end of the world. I try to console her and tell her I don't care if we lose but she has some notion that I'll like her less if she doesn't play as well or something. And whenever she asks me to play, it's not like I can say no. She'd be even more insulted. She'll reply with something like 'Fine. Go play League with your other friends ./rage" etc. :/
I'm just at a loss at to what to do. She's party leader usually, and likes to queue for 2v2s. And when she asks for a 1v1, well the results are kind of one sided which makes it even more frustrating for her. I just don't know why she puts this upon herself. :/
Edit: A lot of people suggest that I teach her the game. And I would, except she lacks an abundance of free time. She`s involved in like, 9001 extra curriculars so she doesn`t have much time to dedicate to the game @__@; Ah well..
Edit 2:
1 day later...
Tried just making it fun by doing stupid things. We were winning but she quickly caught on and got upset.
"idk, it's like, you're forcing me to have fun by doing stupid shit and you've given up on my ability to win a game straight up"
@___@ WHAT DOOOO. ; w;
 
|
I think she just wants you to give her a hug, because she is biting off more than she can chew, so she is like the damsel in distress and needs her knight in shining armor to rescue her.
|
Tell her what do to, chicks love that
|
Less starcraft, more sex.
|
Wow, she really takes her sc seriously. What league are you guys in for 1v1? Are you guys close in skill?
|
You deserve better, diamond league or bust
|
On February 19 2012 13:57 keiraknightlee wrote:
I think she just wants you to give her a hug, because she is biting off more than she can chew, so she is like the damsel in distress and needs her knight in shining armor to rescue her.
I wish. :/
I live at school most of the time which is an hours drive from her place.
On February 19 2012 14:03 Demonhunter04 wrote:
Wow, she really takes her sc seriously. What league are you guys in for 1v1? Are you guys close in skill?
I'm master, she's plat. She was almost diamond over the summer @__@;
|
She's only in plat?
Dump her.
|
Logging off Starcraft to play LoL is enough to make anyone rage at you imo.
Just humor her and help her get better. She wouldn't keep asking to play with you if she didn't get some kind of enjoyment out of it.
|
Let some bronzie play on your account, so she can win! : DD
|
On February 19 2012 14:10 laLAlA[uC] wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2012 13:57 keiraknightlee wrote:
I think she just wants you to give her a hug, because she is biting off more than she can chew, so she is like the damsel in distress and needs her knight in shining armor to rescue her. I wish. :/ I live at school most of the time which is an hours drive from her place. Show nested quote +On February 19 2012 14:03 Demonhunter04 wrote:
Wow, she really takes her sc seriously. What league are you guys in for 1v1? Are you guys close in skill? I'm master, she's plat. She was almost diamond over the summer @__@;
Is she aware that masters are the top 2% of players in the world? O_o
|
why not go through the games together and work on improving like pros?
|
hellion/ling. you won't lose, and she'll be happy.
|
It sucks to feel like your the weak link in a chain. Try off-racing so your both at a closer skill level?
|
just 1v1 and LET HER WIN!!!!
|
On February 19 2012 15:35 cmen15 wrote:
just 1v1 and LET HER WIN!!!!
Don't do this.
I recommend telling her to give you control, and you control both of your units + macro yourself while she just macro's her own stuff. Works fairly well for me + goldie gf and we have a lot of fun, and she doesn't get too stressed out. Plus it's fun and challenging for me heh.
|
On February 19 2012 15:35 cmen15 wrote:
just 1v1 and LET HER WIN!!!!
if she's in plat she'll know if he lets her win
|
Play 1v1 and handicap yourself 80% so the games will be pretty even.
|
choose something lacking in her game and focus on it till she gets better at it. if she is platnum and your masters of course you're going to win. she need to work on the mechanics.
|
On February 19 2012 15:59 Pangpootata wrote:
Play 1v1 and handicap yourself 80% so the games will be pretty even.
Imagine how she'd feel if she lost.
Pretty cool that you have a really competitive sc girlfriend though. Why not coach her with ladder and help her get better? Just like sit next to her and help her out, make her feel better when she loses, congratulate her on her wins.
|
T_T fuck i wanna gf that plays sc.....fuck i want a gf...fuck(mylife)
|
Sounds like she is pretty competitive. I am too. I'm not very good at Sc2 at all but, I always get angry or sad when losing. It is very frustrating, it created ladder anxiety for me.
I am like this in almost all games I have ever played. I love winning. And when I lose I hate myself. Could have something to do with low self esteem or something.
Keep playing with her and try to find good things in her gaming, like "at least you had good macro, expanding and kept making workers during the games. Too bad we lost that one" or "at least you upgraded, that's good". Try to turn losing into something positive, like an opporunity to learn. And like someone else said, sometimes you just need a few hugs 
Good luck, and how sweet, you play games together
|
And don't let her win to be nice. There's nothing more humiliating in gaming then when you win a game and you know you didn't really win.
Also she won't improve by you playing like crap on purpose
My bf is 2 leagues higher than me and I can't really beat him. Unless I ask for practising some build and then do something else haha 
|
Sit down and teach her the game... Problem solved.
I have done that with a lot of friends. Just sitting and talking over skype about what and what not to do. This can be a really good help for her. Or you can just sit besides her and remind her about what she forgets (macro, micro) so she won't lose because of some stupid thing like forgetting upgrades in a long game and so on.
|
If you want to coach help her, a really good trick I've found out lately, don't do it when you see she's very emotional. Find out when the logic reason goes out the window, she literally can't be "saved" around that time, but by knowing the tresshold, you can calm her down, or quit or do something else before it happens, make her aware is key.
Also recommend that book, The Mental Game by that Jarred guy, it's 100% applicable to SC2 (it's for poker, about tilt n shit).
Oh, the reason why no tips or advice when someone's really emotional is because they percieve it as insults or rejection.
|
On February 19 2012 13:58 HackBenjamin wrote:
Tell her what do to, chicks love that
|
Oh, new One piece is out xD
|
Your girlfriend is weird.
If she lacks time, tell her to stop playing 2vs2, you actually loose skill playing those dumb team games, and coach her instead. Find a practice partner of her level and coach her.
However, she will simply go up the ladder and lose to better opponents.
|
Tried just making it fun by doing stupid things. We were winning but she quickly caught on and got upset.
"idk, it's like, you're forcing me to have fun by doing stupid shit and you've given up on my ability to win a game straight up"
@___@ WHAT DOOOO. ; w;
|
play handicapped and it will be even
|
By coaching, i hope you dont mean telling her to do things in game. As playing starcraft (i assume II, but bw is also the same) already takes up a lot of mental concentration. Not many people can react to outer stimuli while playing, it may also cause stress and affect gameplay as well.
Instead just check replays that she has lost with her and try to point out things to improve, bad habits, etc. You also have to be pretty active during this period and ask her what she was thinking with some of the moves she made.
At least, that is what a friend of mine that sort of coached me in sc bw (ah the good times) used to do and it helped me immensely.
At least this method is pretty easily done online in chat, and you could always look it over yourself and then talk to her about it when you dont have time.
edit: btw, yeah listen to what some1 else said in the comments of bringning in a person that is almost equally as skilled, because the frind that cached me would never stop to being bm with me then point out why i suck  . A higher lvl player is good, but only for one or two times but then it just gets fustrating.
|
girls..
I feel you. Hard creatures to please
|
On February 19 2012 21:51 Kukaracha wrote:
Your girlfriend is weird.
If she lacks time, tell her to stop playing 2vs2, you actually loose skill playing those dumb team games, and coach her instead. Find a practice partner of her level and coach her.
However, she will simply go up the ladder and lose to better opponents.
Hahahaha, that's fairly pessimistic, imagine if they included that in the rank-up notification:
"congratulations! you have reached [x] league!
Now while you feel this is an achievement, you will eventually just lose to people far better then you"
Or something along those lines.
|
What would you do if she wasn't your girlfriend, but a male platinum leaguer friend? If your answer is "stop playing with him" or "constantly rage at him for being bad" come up with a better answer and then start with that.
|
I recommend telling her to give you control, and you control both of your units + macro yourself while she just macro's her own stuff. Works fairly well for me + goldie gf and we have a lot of fun, and she doesn't get too stressed out. Plus it's fun and challenging for me heh.
Doing the same and it fits perfectly. As said I have a lot of fun controlling lots of different units while she keeps on macroing and building units I tell her to (by describing what the enemys are up to).
Sometimes she gets mad too because she doesn't like loosing. Actually I like that cause I we both like winning. Whenever we loose she thinks it is due to her skill but I keep telling her what she is doing good. What she should improve and why we really lost (mostly due to allins, cannonrushes or hard unitcombinations). Then she realizes its not her fault and tells me: Next time we check everything around our base and we do stupid shit to them if they plan to do so against us.
So basically involving her into your little game analysis is the best you can do. If you can I advice you to play next to her. Makes it better for you and her
Enjoy gaming with your gf! It is totally worth it I love it!
|
On February 19 2012 13:57 keiraknightlee wrote:
I think she just wants you to give her a hug, because she is biting off more than she can chew, so she is like the damsel in distress and needs her knight in shining armor to rescue her.
&
On February 19 2012 13:59 0123456789 wrote:
Less starcraft, more sex.
No, really. Atleast that would solve it for me.
Or this.
On February 19 2012 16:42 sluggaslamoo wrote:
Imagine how she'd feel if she lost.
Pretty cool that you have a really competitive sc girlfriend though. Why not coach her with ladder and help her get better? Just like sit next to her and help her out, make her feel better when she loses, congratulate her on her wins.
|
On February 19 2012 15:59 Pangpootata wrote:
Play 1v1 and handicap yourself 80% so the games will be pretty even.
i don't recommend this, i did this to troll a couple of TL staff members and they raged hard on me
|
after reading this blog, I am quite certain i have no faith in.....anything.
|
Next time she says something to you like the
"idk, it's like, you're forcing me to have fun by doing stupid shit and you've given up on my ability to win a game straight up"
Just grab her or hold her and say something like "listen to me i just want you to have fun, winning or losing is not important to me." not in angry way, but like.. truthfully or something... (im not good with this shit, just trying to help lol sorry)(Also that hold/grab her thing might be a little em, i dunno somethig you would see in a movie, its like dramatic and stuff so maybe dont do that :D) :D also sorry if I didn't expain well, not really good at explaining things :D :D
|
On February 19 2012 13:59 0123456789 wrote:
Less starcraft, more sex.
Gotta agree their are definnetly more interesting things to do with your gf than teach her sc
|
I understand your girlfriend's frustration since I myself felt the same towards my boyfriend. I've not played for long and am still in Bronze and he is heading into Masters. So there is obviously a big difference in ability and experience.
This is where my frustration stemmed from.
Frustration 1: My boyfriend takes the game very seriously. In 2v2 he would communicate to me like I was one of his starcraft colleagues. Result, I didn't understand a thing he was trying to get me to do, so he would get frustrated himself.
Solution: I opened up to the fact that I felt frustrated that I couldn't understand his abbrev. talk and that I don't like being yelled at during a game. Each time we agree to play I remind him not to yell at me and that we should discuss some strategies beforehand and develop a communication system we both can understand.
Frustration 2: I felt we were unequal and therefore I was not worthy to play with him. We have been trying to get a game we can play together, and this frustration extends to other games. He picks things up quickly, since he has spent more hours and dedication to playing games than I have throughout my life (I've had a vast of other interests, such as knitting).
Solution: Get over it. Simply. I accepted the fact he is better at games than me. He puts more time and energy into it. Therefore, instead of viewing him as a rival, I see him as a Sensei. I may verse him and lose every game. However, instead of getting angry, we look at the replays and fully analyse my game. Just the fact that I am playing with him forces me to get better. I can allow him to be my teacher in gaming, as I can be a teacher to him in other things.
Frustration 3: I didn't get it. This stemmed from my stubborness, defensiveness and also frustration. I just wanted to blame and rage.
Solution: Instead of having unhelpful behaviours I came up with a better perspective. I asked myself, how can I make this situation feel better for me? View it as a challenge. If it was easy, then it wouldn't be as fun.
My defensiveness also hindered my learning. My boyfriend would stop teaching the minute I became defensive. I hated him for it, but he was right.
Summary:
Talk to her. Discover where her frustration stems from through conversation and have her come up with a solution. As a female she will probably be bitter and try to inforce blame on something else (I know, I am one!). Persist, but don't be forceful. Truth is, the frustration comes from within herself, therefore the change has to occur in there too.
Ask her, what would make it better for her? Not only what you can do, but what can she do too?
If time is what hinders her to become better, then that is a fact she has to accept if she is unwilling to create more time for the starcraft.
|
On February 20 2012 17:48 jinfreaks wrote:
By coaching, i hope you dont mean telling her to do things in game. As playing starcraft (i assume II, but bw is also the same) already takes up a lot of mental concentration. Not many people can react to outer stimuli while playing, it may also cause stress and affect gameplay as well.
Instead just check replays that she has lost with her and try to point out things to improve, bad habits, etc. You also have to be pretty active during this period and ask her what she was thinking with some of the moves she made.
At least, that is what a friend of mine that sort of coached me in sc bw (ah the good times) used to do and it helped me immensely.
At least this method is pretty easily done online in chat, and you could always look it over yourself and then talk to her about it when you dont have time.
Completely agree with this statement.
|
On February 22 2012 11:50 Isolath wrote:
I understand your girlfriend's frustration since I myself felt the same towards my boyfriend. I've not played for long and am still in Bronze and he is heading into Masters. So there is obviously a big difference in ability and experience.
This is where my frustration stemmed from.
Frustration 1: My boyfriend takes the game very seriously. In 2v2 he would communicate to me like I was one of his starcraft colleagues. Result, I didn't understand a thing he was trying to get me to do, so he would get frustrated himself.
Solution: I opened up to the fact that I felt frustrated that I couldn't understand his abbrev. talk and that I don't like being yelled at during a game. Each time we agree to play I remind him not to yell at me and that we should discuss some strategies beforehand and develop a communication system we both can understand.
Frustration 2: I felt we were unequal and therefore I was not worthy to play with him. We have been trying to get a game we can play together, and this frustration extends to other games. He picks things up quickly, since he has spent more hours and dedication to playing games than I have throughout my life (I've had a vast of other interests, such as knitting).
Solution: Get over it. Simply. I accepted the fact he is better at games than me. He puts more time and energy into it. Therefore, instead of viewing him as a rival, I see him as a Sensei. I may verse him and lose every game. However, instead of getting angry, we look at the replays and fully analyse my game. Just the fact that I am playing with him forces me to get better. I can allow him to be my teacher in gaming, as I can be a teacher to him in other things.
Frustration 3: I didn't get it. This stemmed from my stubborness, defensiveness and also frustration. I just wanted to blame and rage.
Solution: Instead of having unhelpful behaviours I came up with a better perspective. I asked myself, how can I make this situation feel better for me? View it as a challenge. If it was easy, then it wouldn't be as fun.
My defensiveness also hindered my learning. My boyfriend would stop teaching the minute I became defensive. I hated him for it, but he was right.
Summary:
Talk to her. Discover where her frustration stems from through conversation and have her come up with a solution. As a female she will probably be bitter and try to inforce blame on something else (I know, I am one!). Persist, but don't be forceful. Truth is, the frustration comes from within herself, therefore the change has to occur in there too.
Ask her, what would make it better for her? Not only what you can do, but what can she do too?
If time is what hinders her to become better, then that is a fact she has to accept if she is unwilling to create more time for the starcraft.
Holy fucking shit >:
You are lifesaver. Ty <3
Where is my +1, + rep or upvote button.
|
You don't need that shit. The "Thank you" is more than enough.
|
On February 22 2012 11:58 laLAlA[uC] wrote:
Holy fucking shit >:
You are lifesaver. Ty <3
Where is my +1, + rep or upvote button.
The thank you is enough. Would like to know how it goes.
|
Get another (or use your current one I guess) account and tank the MMR when you aren't playing with her so you have easier opponents? Obviously not actually a good solution as it avoids the real issue though.
|
You can make it a game:
Minor mistake - 10 points
Major mistake - 100 points
Loss in 2v2 due to her fault - 100 points
etc
Every 100 points = a "punishment" :p
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
