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The Ghetto Cook Episode XIV:
Pan Fried Noodles
Introduction
Welcome one and all to the 16th installment of TGC! That's right, sweet sixteen, the age at which teens start causing road accidents in the United States and three more installments than the number of times Square-Enix has misunderstood what the "Final" part of "Final Fantasy" actually means.
This installment is not to be confused with the fourteenth installment, spicy fried noodles. Unlike spicy fried noodles, this is a dish where the noodles and the vegetables and meats are cooked separately from one another. Following these instructions, you should end up with a colorful stir fry nested in a bed of crispy noodles. Let's move on to the cooking!
Ingredients
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/qELlm.jpg)
There are six ninjas in this picture. They are not ingredients in this dish.
Ingredients listed are for a single serving. Multiply amounts as you need.
Some Noodles*
Salt
Pepper
Sugar
Thai Peanut Satay Sauce**
Cooking Oil
1/2 green bell pepper
1/3 large onion
2 oz bamboo shoots
2 sprigs green onion
2 oz carrots, thinly sliced***
3 oz pork, cut into bite-sized strips
*READ THIS: Use a "soft noodle", as in not an Italian pasta. Most noodles in an Asian market would work. I used angel hair pasta more as a proof of concept. It works, but is not ideal.
**Any type of flavorful sauce would do, but this is nice. You can also use oyster sauce, hoisin sauce, a bunch of other sauces.
***Again, the varieties of vegetables can be changed depending on what you have on hand. Try to use crispy things.
Build Order
At least two hours before cooking, slice your meat into strips and marinate in Thai Satay Peanut Sauce, or whichever sauce you have on hand.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/hFQdw.jpg)
Granted, you could fish out something that looks like this from your nearest sewer grate, but it wouldn't taste nearly as good.
Fill a pot with water and a dash of salt, then bring the water to a boil. Cook noodles until al dente and drain.
In a separate sauce pan, pour out about three tablespoons of oil over medium heat. Salt noodles lightly and place them into the pan with oil. Let noodles sit.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/5khir.jpg)
Back when I was your age we had to walk barefoot knee deep in snow six miles up a steep hill carrying the baby brother on one shoulder and backpack on the other shoulder just to get to school, and we ate our noodles plain, like this.
These noodles will need to cook for at least ten minutes. If you have a ghetto assed stove like mine where the heating coil isn't even level, you might need to rotate the pan every now and then to get even heat and oil coverage. Otherwise, do not touch or stir the noodles. They will start to get golden brown and crispy on the bottom (we're only going to crisp up one side).
Meanwhile, slice and dice your vegetables into bite-sized pieces.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/5aXW1.jpg)
I'm guessing colorful vegetables only matter if you're not colorblind, or blind. You could technically use green beans, green onion, green bell pepper, asparagus, and snap peas and achieve a similar effect.
When the noodles are nice and crispy and golden brown on the bottom, remove and place somewhere where it can rest and be drained of oil. I used a plastic colander, but you can use anything, such as a cooling rack with something below it or a bed of paper towels (although the towels might stick to the noodles). There should still be oil left in the pan. This oil will be used for the stir fry.
Crank the heat up to as high as it can go. Stir fry carrots, onions, and bamboo shoots first for about five minutes. Add pork, salt, pepper, and sugar (about one tablespoon) to taste, and stir fry for about four more minutes. Finally, add green pepper and green onion. Stir fry for about one more minute, then remove from heat.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/P01Pp.jpg)
Taste the rainbow
Plate your noodles and heap the stir fry on top. Serve hot.
The Result
Much thanks to r.Evo for the re-touched photo!
4.5 / 5 First off, pasta really sucks in pan fried noodles. They dehydrate too much and become a bit too hard. Use Asian noodles. Hell, you can (probably) even use instant ramen, I will probably try this out later this week. Second, the flavor is pretty good though: nice, rich, and oily. The noodles go great along with a flavorful stir fry.
Conclusion
This is a pretty easy dish to make. Pan fried noodles take very little work and stir fries are very easy to make. If there's any dish that is easy to make yet still looks pretty good, this is it. I highly recommend trying this dish if you are interested in Asian cuisine.
As always, questions and comments are welcome. If noodles aren't your thing, you can always browse the archives for something you like.
ARCHIVES
Broccoli and Cheddar Soup
Cheapass Chili
Scallion Biscuits
Fake Fried Rice
Pan Fried Buns Part I
Pan Fried Buns Part II
French Fucking Toast
EZPZ Pasta
Basil Eggplant
Hodgepodge
Breakfast
Ma Po Tofu
Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookie Bars
Just Desserts
Spicy Fried Noodles
Macaroni Salad
Apparently the spoiler tags don't work when you have too many other tags in between. Hopefully I can work something out.
Until next time, try not to get hit by lightning and die.
 
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Do you season your noodles at all when you fry them? I like to use garlic, ginger, sesame and chili oil.
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I season most other forms of noodle, but not pan fried noodles. The seasonings will either burn or interfere with the crisping process. Most of the flavor in pan fried noodles should come from the stir fry.
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On January 30 2012 18:29 Newbistic wrote:
I season most other forms of noodle, but not pan fried noodles. The seasonings will either burn or interfere with the crisping process. Most of the flavor in pan fried noodles should come from the stir fry.
Seasoned oils are very tasty... you can remove the garlic/ginger/aromatic thing from the oil if you are worried about burning and becoming bitter. I recommend it personally. 
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Looks good. Question about a previous recipe though... Pan Fried Buns Part II: Can I substitute pizza dough I have lying around for the buns or will that not work out as well?
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On January 30 2012 18:36 Dubzex wrote:
Looks good. Question about a previous recipe though... Pan Fried Buns Part II: Can I substitute pizza dough I have lying around for the buns or will that not work out as well?
If it's raw dough, you can probably do it. The resulting texture of the dough will obviously be different, especially if the pizza dough is made using bread flour.
My intuition tells me it's safer to just use the pizza dough for pizza though.
If for whatever reason you do decide to go through with this, tell me how it turns out (and don't blame me)
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This doesn´t look very Jewish...
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Awesome, will try out myself. Your blogs always make me so hungry, though.
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That looks bad 
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First off, pasta really sucks in pan fried noodles. They dehydrate too much and become a bit too hard. Use Asian noodles Actually, it's the other way round. It's just that you have to use enough oil to keep the noodles moist when pan-frying them. By the way, you should be using wooden cooking utensils instead of metal ones when using a teflon pan (teflon pans are terrible for preparing meat, by the way). Otherwise the stuff will scrape off and get into your food, which is not exactly healthy.
Edit: it's also possible you didn't stir well enough for the heat to spread evenly, which would also cause the pasta to dry up - this seems likely because the amount of pasta is large compared to the size of your pan, making it harder to stir properly.
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On January 30 2012 21:03 CaM27 wrote:That looks bad
Honestly, I've been waiting ages for someone to make a comment like this. But in my dreams it was followed by some form of constructive criticism that would allow me to improve.
Either that or I really need a better camera. I took 6 different pictures of the final dish but it turned out they all looked pretty bad. Will probably update with better pictures in the future.
On January 30 2012 21:26 Dagobert wrote:Show nested quote +First off, pasta really sucks in pan fried noodles. They dehydrate too much and become a bit too hard. Use Asian noodles Actually, it's the other way round. It's just that you have to use enough oil to keep the noodles moist when pan-frying them. By the way, you should be using wooden cooking utensils instead of metal ones when using a teflon pan (teflon pans are terrible for preparing meat, by the way). Otherwise the stuff will scrape off and get into your food, which is not exactly healthy. Edit: it's also possible you didn't stir well enough for the heat to spread evenly, which would also cause the pasta to dry up - this seems likely because the amount of pasta is large compared to the size of your pan, making it harder to stir properly.
I think you're talking about fried noodles, which is a bit different from what I made here. For this dish I intentionally did zero stirring because the whole point was to get a crispy base and not stir.
And yeah, metal utensils are bad with teflon pans, that's how I ruined my last pan. This was made using a plastic (silicon?) spatula though.
On a side note, for actual fried noodles I prefer using chopsticks since they make it easier to stir large amounts of noodles.
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On January 30 2012 21:33 Newbistic wrote:
On a side note, for actual fried noodles I prefer using chopsticks since they make it easier to stir large amounts of noodles.
This. I usually make Yakisoba using hashis.
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u should probably invest in a better camera
alternately u can follow my patented 3 step process to amazing photos
1. pop open gimp or photoshop
2. select thing of interest (food) and jack saturation way up
3. maybe blur it a little for a good measure
i made a flipbook for u, click "original" once and then click "beautified" a lot
+ Show Spoiler [beautified] +![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/hx8at.jpg) DAYUM look how carroty those carrots look![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/baD3P.jpg) yawn
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You could probably mix your wok oil and a little peanut oil when doing the noodles to get them a little more color and flavor without taking away the crispiness. Seems like they'd be bland!
also, I think pad thai noodles would kill it here. Not sure how they'd hold up in this process though, they're pretty wimpy compared to italian noodles
Other than that, I like. Good series. I wish I took photos while I cooked instead of the end so I can toss a few up!
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YEAAAHH COOKING BLOG!!
This one is a bit simple, I would have liked to have more info about how to properly season this. I assume there are a whole bunch of different asians seasonings you can put into fried noodles right? But still, 5/5 for effort.
How come you only cook the noodles on one side? Is this just a traditional way of doing it? Or does it add some good flavor or texture?
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Dude I LOVE your cooking blogs, please never stop, I have never really been a chef, but making your stuff I always feel fancy.
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On January 30 2012 21:33 Newbistic wrote:Honestly, I've been waiting ages for someone to make a comment like this. But in my dreams it was followed by some form of constructive criticism that would allow me to improve. Either that or I really need a better camera. I took 6 different pictures of the final dish but it turned out they all looked pretty bad. Will probably update with better pictures in the future. Show nested quote +On January 30 2012 21:26 Dagobert wrote:First off, pasta really sucks in pan fried noodles. They dehydrate too much and become a bit too hard. Use Asian noodles Actually, it's the other way round. It's just that you have to use enough oil to keep the noodles moist when pan-frying them. By the way, you should be using wooden cooking utensils instead of metal ones when using a teflon pan (teflon pans are terrible for preparing meat, by the way). Otherwise the stuff will scrape off and get into your food, which is not exactly healthy. Edit: it's also possible you didn't stir well enough for the heat to spread evenly, which would also cause the pasta to dry up - this seems likely because the amount of pasta is large compared to the size of your pan, making it harder to stir properly. I think you're talking about fried noodles, which is a bit different from what I made here. For this dish I intentionally did zero stirring because the whole point was to get a crispy base and not stir. And yeah, metal utensils are bad with teflon pans, that's how I ruined my last pan. This was made using a plastic (silicon?) spatula though. On a side note, for actual fried noodles I prefer using chopsticks since they make it easier to stir large amounts of noodles.
There's nothing to add, it's pretty much self explanatory. You know the saying, hopefully it tastes better than it looks, right? That's exactly the feeling i got when i saw the picture. You just need to work on the presentation of the dish.
And also the quantity of food on your plate, ugh.
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also, why add the onions and pepper after the meat is added? you either get veggies that are still green, or overcooked meat a bit, do you not? Unless you like those greens rawish? I always thought you don't put the meat back in until you've got you veggies cooked for that reason
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WOW THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS!
I'm sure to try and use my college boy cooking skillz to cook that.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9934 Posts
i'm glad you are blogging these. during my "why am i so fucking useless at cooking" phase i spent like a month making different things but i don't have any picture or written record of it =(
i like how you are trying out chinese dishes so much. not to be morbid but my parents are getting old, so you know. i think i'll ask them to write a recipe book.
also i agree with hawk, but i really dislike raw onions and green peppers.
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On January 31 2012 03:59 Hawk wrote:
also, why add the onions and pepper after the meat is added? you either get veggies that are still green, or overcooked meat a bit, do you not? Unless you like those greens rawish? I always thought you don't put the meat back in until you've got you veggies cooked for that reason
I put in the regular onions first along with carrots and bamboo shoots. The green onions (scallions) and green peppers go in during the last minute or so of cooking since they become done very fast. This allows all the vegetables to remain at roughly the same level of crispiness. I do prefer certain vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, bean sprouts, and snap peas "rawish" in stir fries, as in they're done as soon as their raw flavor has disappeared.
The meat can really go in whenever so that it'll be done when the vegetables are. I think I put the meat in about a minute too early, but I did hold off on putting it in for about five minutes.
Thanks for all the replies btw. I love discussing food and food related things.
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On January 30 2012 21:33 Newbistic wrote:Honestly, I've been waiting ages for someone to make a comment like this. But in my dreams it was followed by some form of constructive criticism that would allow me to improve.Either that or I really need a better camera. I took 6 different pictures of the final dish but it turned out they all looked pretty bad. Will probably update with better pictures in the future.
Here you go, took me about 30 seconds after I remembered where the damn buttons where:
+ Show Spoiler +
...that's what you were thinking about, right?
Your camera most likely does the pictures by using some kind of "Auto White Balance". Since you are not manually adjusting it the camera tries to determine itself what actually IS white and what not. Most of those auto-balance thingies in cameras are adjusted to work well under outdoor conditions (Color temperature ~6000K) and therefor it fails horribly when it applies the same mechanism to your average artificial indoor light (~3000K).
When that happens the whole picture looks "too warm" and has this "reddish touch" as if stuff would look during sunset or similar conditions.
How to fix:
a) find the manual option in your camera for it. If it's a somewhat okayish camera you can adjust the colortemperature somewhere (check for some xxxxK value as above) and play around with it till you find the correct setting for your lighting conditions (I'm assuming it's around ~2700-3500K at your place).
b) Photoshop -> Image -> Adjustments -> Levels. Find a black and a white spot to auto-adjust it to, finetune it manually a bit.
What I did on top of that was slightly up the green/red saturation and then I ran a default sharpen mask over it so it looks more crisp and "glossy".
In case you're like "Oh fuck this crap I hate photoshop" feel free to PM me before you release the next series and I'll do the adjustment for you. <3 ghetto cook.
Edit: I just doublechecked, the sharpening could be done better via manual masks but I was too lazy for that. =P ... Getting a sharper picture in the first place should be your duty anyway. Low light means longer exposure time means you need to hold the camera verrrry still to avoid blurry stuff. Hold your breath, keep the camera close to your body (press it against your chest e.g.), stuff like that should help.
Edit 2: If your camera is REALLY crappy it should still have some kind of "indoors/outdoors" option. Try that. :>
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On January 31 2012 06:11 Newbistic wrote:Show nested quote +On January 31 2012 03:59 Hawk wrote:
also, why add the onions and pepper after the meat is added? you either get veggies that are still green, or overcooked meat a bit, do you not? Unless you like those greens rawish? I always thought you don't put the meat back in until you've got you veggies cooked for that reason I put in the regular onions first along with carrots and bamboo shoots. The green onions (scallions) and green peppers go in during the last minute or so of cooking since they become done very fast. This allows all the vegetables to remain at roughly the same level of crispiness. I do prefer certain vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, bean sprouts, and snap peas "rawish" in stir fries, as in they're done as soon as their raw flavor has disappeared. The meat can really go in whenever so that it'll be done when the vegetables are. I think I put the meat in about a minute too early, but I did hold off on putting it in for about five minutes. Thanks for all the replies btw. I love discussing food and food related things.
I can see what you mean about the scallions, but I thought that the peppers would definitely take a bit to cook. However, I rarely use peppers in my stirfry. I like the flavor they add, but I do not care for the texture of pepper at all. So I could be wrong.
Also, would throwing the crisped noodles back into the stirfry screw with the texture you were going for there?? Dropping the stirfry on top gets you some awesome noodles for what it covers because a lot of it is straight up drenched and delicious, but the downside is that you always end up with some gaps in coverage. There is some kind of noodle dish at a chinese restaurant that does something similar with part of the noodles being crispy and it is really good. It's also covered in sesame seeds and probably a little sesame oil too, which would probably be a good addition to the noodles however you prepare them.
e: regarding the type of noodles, what about udon noodles? I've never actually cooked with them, but I absolutely love them, they soak up oil well and they're thick so you won't burn the shit out of them while trying to do something like this... I think
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On January 31 2012 06:37 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On January 30 2012 21:33 Newbistic wrote:On January 30 2012 21:03 CaM27 wrote:That looks bad Honestly, I've been waiting ages for someone to make a comment like this. But in my dreams it was followed by some form of constructive criticism that would allow me to improve.Either that or I really need a better camera. I took 6 different pictures of the final dish but it turned out they all looked pretty bad. Will probably update with better pictures in the future. Here you go, took me about 30 seconds after I remembered where the damn buttons where: + Show Spoiler +...that's what you were thinking about, right? Your camera most likely does the pictures by using some kind of "Auto White Balance". Since you are not manually adjusting it the camera tries to determine itself what actually IS white and what not. Most of those auto-balance thingies in cameras are adjusted to work well under outdoor conditions (Color temperature ~6000K) and therefor it fails horribly when it applies the same mechanism to your average artificial indoor light (~3000K). When that happens the whole picture looks "too warm" and has this "reddish touch" as if stuff would look during sunset or similar conditions. How to fix: a) find the manual option in your camera for it. If it's a somewhat okayish camera you can adjust the colortemperature somewhere (check for some xxxxK value as above) and play around with it till you find the correct setting for your lighting conditions (I'm assuming it's around ~2700-3500K at your place). b) Photoshop -> Image -> Adjustments -> Levels. Find a black and a white spot to auto-adjust it to, finetune it manually a bit. What I did on top of that was slightly up the green/red saturation and then I ran a default sharpen mask over it so it looks more crisp and "glossy". In case you're like "Oh fuck this crap I hate photoshop" feel free to PM me before you release the next series and I'll do the adjustment for you. <3 ghetto cook. Edit: I just doublechecked, the sharpening could be done better via manual masks but I was too lazy for that. =P ... Getting a sharper picture in the first place should be your duty anyway. Low light means longer exposure time means you need to hold the camera verrrry still to avoid blurry stuff. Hold your breath, keep the camera close to your body (press it against your chest e.g.), stuff like that should help. Edit 2: If your camera is REALLY crappy it should still have some kind of "indoors/outdoors" option. Try that. :>
Wow this is super helpful. I'm awful at photography. There are indeed various settings on the camera. I'll experiment with the settings as per your suggestions. Anything is better than the current settings I have. Thanks a lot
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Your recipes are really helpful. I like the use of some ingredients I'm not used to using like Chinese rice vinegar. I also wanted to reply to your comment about home cooking. While the amount of focus in supermarkets is on pre-prepped food and people more and more eat out, I still feel preparing your own food is the best. Focusing on what's in season at the time and stocking up on a strong non-perishable pantry you can crank out daily food that equals or bests local restaurants in about an hour. Nothing feels better than cooking for people you care about
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/zcE77.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/VHn8E.jpg)
