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[The Ghetto Cook] X: Breakfast

Blogs > Newbistic
Post a Reply
Newbistic
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
China2912 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-12-06 23:58:04
December 06 2011 21:27 GMT
#1
The Ghetto Cook Part X: Breakfast

Introduction

Hello all, welcome to the tenth installment of TGC! It's been a while since I've written one of these things because the high production values take time and drives up cost into the millions, mostly due to laziness and lack of inspiration. This installment will feature two simple breakfast dishes: savory oatmeal and chocolate chip pancakes.

Breakfast foods generally tend to be simpler because after all, who the fuck wants to wake up 3 hours ahead of time just to make some shit to eat. Both of these dishes can be made in under 20 minutes with the right ingredients. They are also highly modifiable if you wish to experiment with variations.

One: Savory Oatmeal

Preface

Sweetened oatmeal with brown sugar, cinnamon, and raisins is pretty good. So is oatmeal with white granulated sugar, cinnamon, and a tablespoon of peanut butter stirred in at the end. But eat that too many times and you'll still get sick of that shit. That's what happened to me.

I searched around online for some savory oatmeal recipes. Some simpler ones called for salt and pepper with olive oil and parmesan cheese, or oatmeal served with a fried/poached egg and some greens. The salt and pepper one turned out to be too bland, and greens kind of taste like shit alongside oatmeal. So I formulated a recipe which suits my own tastes.

Ingredients

[image loading]
Your minerals and gas for this dish. No additional pylons required.

1/4 Cauliflower*
~1 cup dried oatmeal**
~2 oz cheddar***
Chicken stock (low/no sodium)
Vegetable Oil
Salt
Pepper

*I know yellow squash is pictured. I was too lazy to take pictures when I actually made it with cauliflower. In reality any crisp vegetable without a strong aroma can be used, such as asparagus.
**Use rolled oats and not the instant-cooking crap. Both are usually the same price. Rolled oats take longer to cook but are superior in texture. A lot of ingredients are basically eyeballed so I don't know the actual amounts. Add as much as you generally would per serving.
***You can try many different types of cheese, I just like cheddar. If you are using a very sharp cheese you can get away with as little as half that amount.

Build Order

First, dice your cauliflower into 1/2 inch blocks, and shred or chop your cheese into tiny pieces. Set both aside. Place a medium sized pot on the stove at medium heat. Add about 2 teaspoons of oil and saute your cauliflower for about 3 minutes with a little salt. When sauteing, the trick is to not spend so much time stirring the vegetables around. Let the cauliflower sit and sizzle in the oil for about a minute before tossing and letting it sit again. This will lightly brown the cauliflower, providing a lot of aroma and flavor.

At the end of 3 minutes dump your uncooked oatmeal directly onto the cauliflower and cover with the appropriate amount of chicken stock. To my experience, this is roughly enough to submerge the oatmeal plus about 1/4 inch extra, but the amount really changes with how much oatmeal you are using. At this point in time you can season to taste. If you are using store-bought chicken stock that has been salted, you may not want to add any salt at all. Keep in mind that cheddar cheese itself has a good amount of salt, so you do not want to over-salt the dish.

[image loading]
Oatmeal always looks like shit in photos. Just roll with it, okay?

Stir your oats around with a spoon as it cooks. This isn't too important early on, but once your oats start to thicken you want to stir constantly to prevent it from sticking and burning on the bottom of your pot. Cook until the pieces of oats start to expand and "bloom" a little. You want to fully cook your oatmeal.

Once the oatmeal has been fully cooked, take it OFF the heat. Stir it around for a few seconds to dissipate a bit of heat, then add the cheese. Fold the cheese into your oatmeal until it is completely melted.

[image loading]
Almost done. The cheese part is like when Terran has almost won and is calling down MULES

The oatmeal will begin to look creamier as you stir. You're done when the cheese is melted. Serve warm.

[image loading]
How the fuck is a walkthrough on cooking oatmeal this long? I dunno either.

This is your basic savory oatmeal. If you wish to un-ghetto-ify your oatmeal, here are some suggestions:

1) Serve with bacon and eggs, or some other combination of breakfast items.
2) If serving solo, you can add bacon directly to the oatmeal. Top the oatmeal with a poach egg or a fried egg (sunny side up or over easy preferred).

Two: Chocolate Chip Pancakes

Adapted from http://allrecipes.com/recipe/chocolate-chip-pancakes-2/.

Ingredients

[image loading]
Store bought mix is for dickless pansies. Or if you are a girl, for chicks with dicks. Something like that...

1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup milk*
1 egg
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp vegetable oil
2 tbsp white granulated sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla extract**
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup chocolate chips

You will also need measuring cups, two containers, and a non-stick cooking surface such as a griddle or a flat pan.

*I've experimented a bit with the milk. If you add more milk, it will make the pancakes a bit mealier and denser. I presume adding a bit less milk will make it fluffier.
**This is the important part, highly recommended. It's what makes the pancakes amazing instead of just good.

So this is kind of just the original recipe with all the ingredient amounts halved, plus vanilla extract. Most pancake recipes are similar, with slight variations in ingredient amounts. You can safely change the sugar and salt amounts without affecting how the pancakes cook. Like all pastry/baking type recipes, certain ingredients like flour and baking powder heavily influence the outcome so precise measurement is necessary.

Procedure

Get two bowls or containers. In one, combine flour, salt, baking powder, and sugar. In the other, whisk the egg with the milk, vegetable oil, and vanilla extract.

[image loading]
Segregated, like the US in the 1950's

Slowly pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients (not the other way around!). This is to avoid the formation of flour lumps in your pancakes. What you want to to is pour a couple of tablespoonfuls of liquid in at a time, and stirring to incorporate as much of the dry ingredients as possible. After the first few tablespoonfuls of liquid you should be able to stir together something like a dry dough. Stir that around several times to smooth out the mixture. Then add the rest of the ingredients to create a smooth batter.

[image loading]
Integrated, like US schools after Brown vs Board of Education. Except today there are still a lot of segregated schools which would be like... if this batter still had a lot of lumps. This is going nowhere.

Looks great! Stir in the chocolate chips and heat up your pan/griddle. You want it pre-heated to about medium-high and hot BEFORE you add any pancake batter. Drop batter 4 tablespoons per pancake onto the hot pan surface. Pancakes cook really really fast, so I didn't have time to take any pictures. Sorry. Mine came out kind of crappy because I recently ruined the surface of my non-stick pan and am now using a large pot, which makes cooking kind of awkward.

Let the pancakes sit until you start seeing bubbles on the surface. Count out ten seconds, then flip the pancakes and cook for roughly twenty seconds or so. The entire process takes only about a minute. Pancakes should have a smooth golden brown surface on one side and a rough golden-ish brown surface on the other. Serve warm. If you want to get fancy, serve with powdered sugar, maybe some fruit on the side, and a glass of milk.

[image loading]
Look kind of like hamburger buns from this lighting

Conclusion

There it is, two recipes, one savory, one sweet. The oatmeal recipe may be a bit unorthodox for some peoples' tastes, but pancakes are loved by all. I don't really have a rating for the dishes, probably around a 4-4.5 for both.

I'd like to end this installment on a sad note. Shortly after I made the pancakes, my room mate's dog got to them so I was only able to eat one before the rest got destroyed. Luckily the dogs didn't eat much of the chocolate parts so I'm (probably) safe from getting sued for poisoning them. But man, fucking dogs.

[image loading]
C'MERE DOG. I SHOW YOU WHAT CHINESE PEOPLE DO TO DOG. DO NOT RUN FROM MEAT CLEAVER.

(Don't open if you like dogs)
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Anywho, questions and comments welcome, especially if you know what I did wrong or what can be improved. Past installments of TGC can be found here:

Broccoli and Cheddar Soup
Cheapass Chili
Scallion Biscuits
Fake Fried Rice
Pan Fried Buns Part I
Pan Fried Buns Part II
French Fucking Toast
EZPZ Pasta
Basil Eggplant
Hodgepodge

No animals were harmed in the making of this installment (except for mild chocolate poisoning of two dogs, but that's kind of like kindergarteners eating glue). Until next time, ciao!

***
Logic is Overrated
LML
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Germany1760 Posts
December 06 2011 21:40 GMT
#2
chocolate ship pancakes sound good

and ugh at the dog>_>'
LML
green.at
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Austria1459 Posts
December 06 2011 21:51 GMT
#3
On December 07 2011 06:40 LML wrote:
chocolate ship pancakes sound good

and ugh at the dog>_>'

if you focus on the right part of the picture it looks quite tasty

when i make "pancakes" i only use flour milk and eggs, more like crepes. (also goes well with bacon etc. not only sweet stuff)
Inputting special characters into chat should no longer cause the game to crash.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
December 06 2011 22:28 GMT
#4
The oatmeal looks interesting, I never knew it could be made with cheese and other stuff. The most adventurous I've ever gotten was adding dark chocolate; I think it was good but I was kinda drunk at the time :/
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
discodancer
Profile Joined September 2011
United States280 Posts
December 06 2011 22:29 GMT
#5
Oatmeal looked like wet shite but pancakes are appetizing. If you started to get tired of oatmeal just cook some buck wheat or w.e
dazed
Profile Joined January 2011
Canada191 Posts
December 06 2011 22:42 GMT
#6
Is it wrong that I enjoy dipping chocolate chip pancakes in nutella? nom nom nom
DreamChaser
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
1649 Posts
December 06 2011 23:07 GMT
#7
On December 07 2011 07:42 dazed wrote:
Is it wrong that I enjoy dipping chocolate chip pancakes in nutella? nom nom nom


Anything with Nutella is ever wrong. Even murder.
Plays against every MU with nexus first.
Newbistic
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
China2912 Posts
December 06 2011 23:39 GMT
#8
On December 07 2011 07:29 discodancer wrote:
Oatmeal looked like wet shite but pancakes are appetizing. If you started to get tired of oatmeal just cook some buck wheat or w.e


Oatmeal never looks not like wet shit

Never had buckwheat. Isn't it just a wet cereal similar to oatmeal? How do you usually make your buck wheat?
Logic is Overrated
Sprungjeezy
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States1313 Posts
December 06 2011 23:56 GMT
#9
Wtf dog picture, that shits NSFL.
MetalMarine
Profile Joined June 2007
United States1559 Posts
December 07 2011 02:06 GMT
#10
Love your recipes man, ever thought about recording yourself cooking and posting it on youtube? =D
iSometric
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
2221 Posts
December 07 2011 02:13 GMT
#11
Looks nasty lol...
strava.com/athletes/zhaodynasty
discodancer
Profile Joined September 2011
United States280 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-12-07 02:21:07
December 07 2011 02:17 GMT
#12
On December 07 2011 08:39 Newbistic wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 07 2011 07:29 discodancer wrote:
Oatmeal looked like wet shite but pancakes are appetizing. If you started to get tired of oatmeal just cook some buck wheat or w.e


Oatmeal never looks not like wet shit

Never had buckwheat. Isn't it just a wet cereal similar to oatmeal? How do you usually make your buck wheat?


Slavs eat that shit almost daily. It's hard to find unprocessed buck wheat in the US, at least get the whole ones, not shredded. Since it's somewhat processed you need to drop it into boiling water, otherwise it becomes mushy and shitty. They have some sick recipes, like hot milk soup with buckwheat (maybe sugar) or just buckwheat as a porridge with salt and butter. You can even pan fry it once it's cooked lol, basically it's like rice but more fragile and entirely different taste.

It's also one of the healthiest grains -_-V
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