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Active: 4553 users

Would you be pissed off at her? - Page 7

Blogs > Brett
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BadgKat
Profile Joined June 2011
United States156 Posts
January 20 2012 01:05 GMT
#121
I've been married for 2 years and dated my wife for about 6 before that. When we dated we never celebrated an anniversary. Honestly it seemed silly. You're dating. Anniversaries are for marriage. You should be happy you get the day off. Sounds nice.
SeraKuDA
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada343 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-21 02:09:14
January 21 2012 02:08 GMT
#122
Dude, really? Not to be rude but you sound like the smothering type.

She's handling this properly, let it go.
Brett
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Australia3822 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-21 10:20:52
January 21 2012 10:18 GMT
#123
On January 21 2012 11:08 SeraKuDA wrote:
Dude, really? Not to be rude but you sound like the smothering type.

She's handling this properly, let it go.

Dude, really? Not to be rude but you sound like the poor reading comprehension type.

It's in the thread, let it go.

xoxo
SeraKuDA
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada343 Posts
January 21 2012 15:19 GMT
#124
I read it and I understand it. I'm sorry if it offends, but it's the truth. I know people that have been too smothering over their girlfriends, and in the end they always break up. It starts with little things like this. Give her some space and chill out.
KeksX
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Germany3634 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-21 20:05:22
January 21 2012 15:56 GMT
#125
He
wasn't
annoyed or
bothered with it
at all
he was
just
asking
for
our opinion.

This is getting really, really silly.
neoghaleon55
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States7435 Posts
January 23 2012 14:17 GMT
#126
Hmm.
If I were in your shoes, I would tell her that it's ok that you guys won't have time on that day, but for future reference, you would appreciate a heads up, or be allowed to have a discussion about it before a decision is reached.
There's not much you can do about the current circumstance, and making a big deal out of it would most likely end up horribly...
so just let her know

"I'm fine with the current plans, but I would appreciate it if next time you discuss plans with me in matters involving our relationship before reaching a decision."

I feel that this is the most diplomatic approach.
Good luck.
moo...for DRG
StarStruck
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
25339 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-23 15:17:47
January 23 2012 15:13 GMT
#127
Why the hell would you be pissed off at her for something so trivial and out of your control? Why are you even asking us such a question? It has everything to do with you.

Get over it. You can always celebrate it tomorrow.

._.

P.S. The fact that you decided to write a blog based on it sends me the message that it does more than bother you. If it's trivial I don't see why you would write about it. To me, it sounds like you are trying to find a way around it when the dinner table conversation wasn't enough.
ExceeD_DreaM
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada500 Posts
January 23 2012 20:31 GMT
#128
I've been with my gf for almost 4 years now. We try to spend time together on important days as much as possible.
Of course there are times when we are too busy or caught up and have to meet the day after. But we try.

I understand that in your case, your gf DOESN'T have to spend time that night with the fam. but you gotta know family always comes first. before marriage that is.

If my sister came back from a long vacation, then on the first day I think I would spend the day with my fam, and next day with gf. Actually, I'd like to spend the day with gf and day after with fam, but either way is fine. I don't think you should be too bothered with it.
Classysaurus
Profile Joined June 2010
United States78 Posts
January 23 2012 22:04 GMT
#129
I don't really think you overreacted to the situation. I'm sure things have already been resolved, but to add my opinion of the matter: I'd just make sure you communicate the fact that the minor annoyance existed at all, despite being okay with it. If there's anything you might be overreacting to, it's to the people you're berating for misunderstanding the situation. When you call people kids or dismiss people's misguided opinions with "l2read", or whatever, it tends to give people external impressions about you that influences their perspective of what happened. Maybe work on that?
Take my hand. Take my whole life too.
kierpanda
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States757 Posts
January 23 2012 22:50 GMT
#130
I didn't get to spend my 1st year anniversary with my boyfriend since I was out of town visiting family. But it was alright, because I pretty much saw him every day before and after that.

I would just celebrate the anniversary on a separate day this year. The date really isn't that important.
I cook things! :3 | Twitter: @kierpanda | www.eatgamelive.com
Bub
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States3518 Posts
January 23 2012 23:12 GMT
#131
Family first. Just celebrate the anniversary later. You're a guy you shouldn't be worrying about that sorry of thing
XK ßubonic
Swede
Profile Joined June 2010
New Zealand853 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-24 00:55:15
January 24 2012 00:46 GMT
#132
On January 22 2012 00:56 KeksX wrote:
He
wasn't
annoyed or
bothered with it
at all
he was
just
asking
for
our opinion.

This is getting really, really silly.


I know. Sometimes I feel like an asshole for hating people... But this thread makes it too easy. He's explained it so clearly so many times and most people still misunderstand.

This is my understanding:
The OP posted this not because he felt 'angry' (he has specified that at most he felt fleeting disappointment/annoyance), but because he was surprised by how his family reacted when it came up in conversation (he didn't bring it up). He then became curious if this was a normal reaction since his family/friends were so "unanimous in their surprise" (ie should he actually be angry? etc) and so decided to ask the TL population about the situation.

Stupidly, a lot of the people berating him actually suggested the exact course of action he took.

My opinion:
Your family/friends are overreacting. You made the right choice in not making something of it. Other posters have mentioned that celebrating your anniversary on that specific date might be more important if the relationship had been going on longer/was very serious (ie living together, considering engagement etc), which I can get behind. \
MrBitter
Profile Joined January 2008
United States2940 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-24 03:01:47
January 24 2012 02:58 GMT
#133
On January 22 2012 00:56 KeksX wrote:
He
wasn't
annoyed
or
bothered with it
at all
he was
just
asking
for
our opinion.

This is getting really, really silly.



On January 17 2012 21:00 Brett wrote:
So in about a week my gf and I will have been together for a year. The relationship has been amazing, we're crazy about each other, and see it as a serious thing.

By coincedence, her little sister, who is about 3 years younger than her, gets back from a solo jaunt around Europe on the same day (she was gone for a month, and it was her first time overseas).

Anyway, the other night I was at my gf's place and she mentions that our anniversary falls on the same day that her sister gets back, and that that means we won't get to do anything for our anniversary, on the actual day. I was a bit surprised, as I was already aware that my gf was going to the airport with her parents to pick her sister up before she went to work that day, and kind of assumed we'd go out that night. In the interests of full disclosure, I should also state that we are spending the following weekend away together interstate. I felt disappointed, maybe slightly annoyed, but not in a rage of jealousy.

To get to the point of this, I mentioned the above to my mates, and again to my mother at family dinner last night, and everyone was unanimous in their, well... surprise... at her apparent decision to cut me from that day. So, to those in, or those who have been in, serious relationships, would that bother you given the significance of your first year together? Or, given that we've made plans for the weekend, see each other often, and the circumstances of her sister's return, do you think it's no big deal if we don't celebrate on the day?

Personally, I'm not too bothered by her spending the night with her sister instead of me, but was a bit annoyed that she just made the choice without even discussing it with me. My friends/mother have a different view... Anyway, sound off below!



Couple things:

1.) Brett, you sound like a dick. Not from your OP, but from how you're responding to people who you seem to disagree with.

2.) I'm of the opinion that stuff like this is no big deal. One year is exciting, but so is seeing your sister for the first time after she's just traveled around the world. You'll see her the next day, you should be cool with that.

In other words, it's not worth getting upset over.

In the spirit of full disclosure and honesty, tell her how you feel, but also tell her that you don't expect her to change her plans, and you can't wait to have your anniversary dinner. Even if it's a day or two late.
Subversive
Profile Joined October 2009
Australia2229 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-24 05:29:21
January 24 2012 05:11 GMT
#134
On January 24 2012 11:58 MrBitter wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 22 2012 00:56 KeksX wrote:
He
wasn't
annoyed
or
bothered with it
at all
he was
just
asking
for
our opinion.

This is getting really, really silly.



Show nested quote +
On January 17 2012 21:00 Brett wrote:
So in about a week my gf and I will have been together for a year. The relationship has been amazing, we're crazy about each other, and see it as a serious thing.

By coincedence, her little sister, who is about 3 years younger than her, gets back from a solo jaunt around Europe on the same day (she was gone for a month, and it was her first time overseas).

Anyway, the other night I was at my gf's place and she mentions that our anniversary falls on the same day that her sister gets back, and that that means we won't get to do anything for our anniversary, on the actual day. I was a bit surprised, as I was already aware that my gf was going to the airport with her parents to pick her sister up before she went to work that day, and kind of assumed we'd go out that night. In the interests of full disclosure, I should also state that we are spending the following weekend away together interstate. I felt disappointed, maybe slightly annoyed, but not in a rage of jealousy.

To get to the point of this, I mentioned the above to my mates, and again to my mother at family dinner last night, and everyone was unanimous in their, well... surprise... at her apparent decision to cut me from that day. So, to those in, or those who have been in, serious relationships, would that bother you given the significance of your first year together? Or, given that we've made plans for the weekend, see each other often, and the circumstances of her sister's return, do you think it's no big deal if we don't celebrate on the day?

Personally, I'm not too bothered by her spending the night with her sister instead of me, but was a bit annoyed that she just made the choice without even discussing it with me. My friends/mother have a different view... Anyway, sound off below!



Couple things:

1.) Brett, you sound like a dick. Not from your OP, but from how you're responding to people who you seem to disagree with.

2.) I'm of the opinion that stuff like this is no big deal. One year is exciting, but so is seeing your sister for the first time after she's just traveled around the world. You'll see her the next day, you should be cool with that.

In other words, it's not worth getting upset over.

In the spirit of full disclosure and honesty, tell her how you feel, but also tell her that you don't expect her to change her plans, and you can't wait to have your anniversary dinner. Even if it's a day or two late.

It's a funny thread. Brett on the one hand is getting pretty angry with people who are disagreeing with him. However they are the ones who are usually being pretty insulting as well. It never looks good to ask for advice or opinion and then criticise, however to be really fair, if Brett is being a dick to some posters here it's because they are being dicks to him first. You can disagree with him without being rude.
#1 Great fan ~ // Khan // FlaSh // JangBi // EffOrt //
Salv
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Canada3083 Posts
January 24 2012 05:23 GMT
#135
Probably didn't discuss it with you because it's not up for debate, she's choosing to chill with her sister and not you. Ultimately it's a pretty good reason and you said yourself you're hanging out the rest of the week - no big deal IMO.
MutantGenepool
Profile Joined October 2011
Australia115 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-24 06:10:01
January 24 2012 05:52 GMT
#136
Just buy here a small gift and give it to her the next day. Tell her you understand and you guess how much her little sister means to her. She'll love you that much more.

Edit; I really don't think you should be mad at her. It's family and you will be the outsider until you marry her. That's real life.
Rule 1; Never, ever get between family members, even if thay hate each other. You will come out singed or badly burned.
Remember. Your GF has known her little sister a lot longer than she has known you, and she's blood. Be cool, be happy.
EGRevival (Zerg) has more marines than Polt. ROOTNathanias
Inzek
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Chile802 Posts
January 24 2012 13:59 GMT
#137
yeah next year when your are bored and definetively dont want to calabrate aniversary you can remeber this xd..
Stork FAN!!!
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
January 24 2012 16:05 GMT
#138
I honestly can't believe this thread is still going...
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
January 24 2012 16:19 GMT
#139
Since she let you know ahead of time I don't see a reason to make a big deal about it. Just move the celebration to the next available day. If she had forgotten completely, then that's different.
KeksX
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Germany3634 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-01-24 17:16:51
January 24 2012 17:12 GMT
#140
On January 24 2012 11:58 MrBitter wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 22 2012 00:56 KeksX wrote:
He
wasn't
annoyed
or
bothered with it
at all
he was
just
asking
for
our opinion.

This is getting really, really silly.



Show nested quote +
On January 17 2012 21:00 Brett wrote:
So in about a week my gf and I will have been together for a year. The relationship has been amazing, we're crazy about each other, and see it as a serious thing.

By coincedence, her little sister, who is about 3 years younger than her, gets back from a solo jaunt around Europe on the same day (she was gone for a month, and it was her first time overseas).

Anyway, the other night I was at my gf's place and she mentions that our anniversary falls on the same day that her sister gets back, and that that means we won't get to do anything for our anniversary, on the actual day. I was a bit surprised, as I was already aware that my gf was going to the airport with her parents to pick her sister up before she went to work that day, and kind of assumed we'd go out that night. In the interests of full disclosure, I should also state that we are spending the following weekend away together interstate. I felt disappointed, maybe slightly annoyed, but not in a rage of jealousy.

To get to the point of this, I mentioned the above to my mates, and again to my mother at family dinner last night, and everyone was unanimous in their, well... surprise... at her apparent decision to cut me from that day. So, to those in, or those who have been in, serious relationships, would that bother you given the significance of your first year together? Or, given that we've made plans for the weekend, see each other often, and the circumstances of her sister's return, do you think it's no big deal if we don't celebrate on the day?

Personally, I'm not too bothered by her spending the night with her sister instead of me, but was a bit annoyed that she just made the choice without even discussing it with me. My friends/mother have a different view... Anyway, sound off below!



Couple things:

1.) Brett, you sound like a dick. Not from your OP, but from how you're responding to people who you seem to disagree with.

2.) I'm of the opinion that stuff like this is no big deal. One year is exciting, but so is seeing your sister for the first time after she's just traveled around the world. You'll see her the next day, you should be cool with that.

In other words, it's not worth getting upset over.

In the spirit of full disclosure and honesty, tell her how you feel, but also tell her that you don't expect her to change her plans, and you can't wait to have your anniversary dinner. Even if it's a day or two late.

Okay you're right, my post wasn't correct.

But if I'm telling you that your post annoys me a bit you'd think that there's an issue we have to talk about and it's something important or of greater relevance? No, it just means that I have the urge to respond. And nothing else.
If it wasn't for this bit off annoyance there wouldn't be a blog about it. However, this doesn't mean it's an issue at all.
And you have to give him the "benefit of the doubt" that if he's saying there's no real issue. there's none. You can't just say
"Well you're saying something else but you did write "bit annoyed" so I think you're a major dick"(Refering to other posts, not yours).

You can say anything about the way he responds, but that doesn't mean you can just tell him what he's thinking when he's saying something different.

He didnt' say anything to her and he wanted to find other opinions to get a better view of it, but the only thing people did was judge his initial thoughts on it and base their posts around that. And this is, what I think, just silly.

He's asking
"Would you be pissed off at her?"
And says that he's a bit annoyed by it and doesn't do anything about it, yet people act like he threw a tantrum or something.
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