EPTYour dating/cheating morality - Page 2
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Asrathiel
Australia377 Posts
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SpoR
United States1542 Posts
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hai2u
688 Posts
On November 08 2011 17:01 SpoR wrote: This thread is actually making me want to apologize to her for not making it clear what my intentions were (verbally) and for letting her know that she wasn't verbally making it clear either. But she still was being deceptive to me which is pretty terrible. fuck her don't apologize for shit, you didn't do anything wrong. She should have made it clear to you that she was dating and banging other dudes. | ||
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SleepTech
United States222 Posts
On November 08 2011 17:01 SpoR wrote: This thread is actually making me want to apologize to her for not making it clear what my intentions were (verbally) and for letting her know that she wasn't verbally making it clear either. But she still was being deceptive to me which is pretty terrible. For what its worth, you probably don't need to be with this girl anyways. You two both have different 'standards'. Not that either of you are wrong or right, just different views, as a poster alluded to earlier. That's not to say that you can't 'make it right' with her. But You definitely need to both be open about what you truly want in the relationship. | ||
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SpoR
United States1542 Posts
Sleeptech, yes I am aware. There are a number of things we had as common ground at first. But the more we got to know each other the more there were things that were uncommon. I'm still not sure about this thing issue with relationships though, because I believe those superficial things can be overlooked and just written off. Ultimately the main thing was the 'dating' definition which sealed the deal. The reason I want/need the difference thing to be overlooked is because the things I am into almost no one I meet is into. Esports, Underground hip hop, graffiti/art, dubstep, watching films and docus, etc. And things that bug the shit out of me, country music, pop music(radio in general), religious people, people that are always going out to bars or drinking every other day, people ignorant to social issues, Am I just not being picky enough? | ||
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SarR
476 Posts
Your girl wants commitment ? Try not to get caught. If you get caught then tough luck, for her that is. She can either choose to stay or leave. If she stays, please re-evaluate your game so as not to get caught. To make things easier you could just avoid the commitment thing altogether. Friends with benefits type of thing. | ||
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Telcontar
United Kingdom16710 Posts
I guess being raised by an old fashioned romantic couple has shaped me this way. It might seem outdated or what-not in this day and age, but I'm happy with it. | ||
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KeksX
Germany3634 Posts
On November 08 2011 17:30 Telcontar wrote: I guess being raised by an old fashioned romantic couple has shaped me this way. It might seem outdated or what-not in this day and age, but I'm happy with it. Usually the people that had divorced parents or at least parents in big trouble are the ones seeking for a steady relationship with full honesty. I'm one of these kind as well. If you say "I love you", or anything related to it, anything that closely comes near that, you either mean it or you are an asshole. Saying "I don't love you" hurts much less than having to see that somebody cheated on you. Both hurs a fuckton, but being betrayed is a lot harder than being treated with proper respect, which honesty brings with it. But as everything, other people have different views on the topic, and so it's important for you to make your intentions clear, as you already said. If you are searching for a woman that only sees you and commits to you, make that clear. If you don't make it clear it's really...well, it's your fault, too. A relationhship is between two individuals, and both are responsible for mistakes. | ||
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SpoR
United States1542 Posts
On November 08 2011 17:26 SarR wrote: If you can bone other chicks, then go for it. This commitment bullshit is just burdensome pseudo-moral nonsense that some bronze age stoner made up....just like the bible. Your girl wants commitment ? Try not to get caught. If you get caught then tough luck, for her that is. She can either choose to stay or leave. If she stays, please re-evaluate your game so as not to get caught. To make things easier you could just avoid the commitment thing altogether. Friends with benefits type of thing. I used to have the same line of thinking until everything in my life went bad one by one until I had nothing. I think It's important to have a mutual loyal, trusting, respectful relationship with a significant other to help you through the good and bad times. You can keep yourself happy when you're good with dating around all the time, but once you aren't at your tip top shape you will find that no one will want to be with you. keksx where did you read that thing about parents? My parents have been separated (not legally divorced) but apart and in other relationships for years. And all throughout my childhood actually they just fought and shit. | ||
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niteReloaded
Croatia5281 Posts
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meowmeow-
Germany291 Posts
Not because it's against my moral code, but rather because I have enough trouble finding but one woman to date. From the outside looking in it seems wrong, but I'm lacking the experience to decisively say I'd not do it, given the opportunity. | ||
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Porcelain
United States218 Posts
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bkrow
Australia8532 Posts
My conclusion: You used to be messed up when it came to girls; now you are alright. But now you date messed up girls when it comes to guys. So basically you're fucked bro. Don't let one moron ruin commitment for you  | ||
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KeksX
Germany3634 Posts
On November 08 2011 17:56 SpoR wrote: keksx where did you read that thing about parents? My parents have been separated (not legally divorced) but apart and in other relationships for years. And all throughout my childhood actually they just fought and shit. It's more ore less an experience I made myself which pretty much was confirmed by everything I've seen so far, also I think I remember an article about that, but don't ask me where. Forgot it  | ||
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Batssa
United States154 Posts
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Phayt
Canada346 Posts
On November 08 2011 16:23 SpoR wrote:doing bf/gf things, calling/texting everyday, hanging out a lot, going out on dates [obviously], and also sex and being intimate. it sounds like you are in a relationship and just afraid of labels. And rightfully so if the girl is sleeping around I guess. Dating multiple people in general is fine if you don't get particularly serious with any of them, and no one thinks they're in a committed relationship. It's not for everyone but for those that are okay with that kind of business, good for them. But that's not what we're talking about here at all so I guess tldr: sorry you got played bro | ||
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SpoR
United States1542 Posts
On November 08 2011 20:24 Phayt wrote: I voted other because at this point: it sounds like you are in a relationship and just afraid of labels. And rightfully so if the girl is sleeping around I guess. Dating multiple people in general is fine if you don't get particularly serious with any of them, and no one thinks they're in a committed relationship. It's not for everyone but for those that are okay with that kind of business, good for them. But that's not what we're talking about here at all so I guess tldr: sorry you got played bro it was actually her who was afraid of the labels. They don't mean shit to me in the literal sense of the words. I'm more interested in the idea of being committed, loyal, and exclusive than saying we're bf/gf. It just so happens that the generally accepted term for those ideals are bf/gf. | ||
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SarR
476 Posts
On November 08 2011 17:56 SpoR wrote: I used to have the same line of thinking until everything in my life went bad one by one until I had nothing. I think It's important to have a mutual loyal, trusting, respectful relationship with a significant other to help you through the good and bad times. You can keep yourself happy when you're good with dating around all the time, but once you aren't at your tip top shape you will find that no one will want to be with you. Problem is though that people are selfish by nature. I've found that women have the propensity to be far more selfish(and downright ruthless) than men. Its not mutual if you care more than her. To me relationships are about power. The one that cares less wields more power. The only chance id say that guys have is to get with a younger and relatively naive girl preferably one where you are her first sexual partner. Usually these girls still have a romantic and idealistic view of relationships and tend to be quite loyal and loving mainly because she hasn't yet been damaged by the pain that comes from faulty relationships such as neglect or at worst abuse or to take the middle ground, she gets with a guy or guys who attack her self esteem quite often. These things serve to damage the once pure person and any guy that comes after with good intentions suffer the consequences of her warped personality. | ||
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SpoR
United States1542 Posts
On November 08 2011 20:39 SarR wrote: Problem is though that people are selfish by nature. I've found that women have the propensity to be far more selfish(and downright ruthless) than men. Its not mutual if you care more than her. To me relationships are about power. The one that cares less wields more power. The only chance id say that guys have is to get with a younger and relatively naive girl preferably one where you are her first sexual partner. Usually these girls still have a romantic and idealistic view of relationships and tend to be quite loyal and loving mainly because she hasn't yet been damaged by the pain that comes from faulty relationships such as neglect or at worst abuse or to take the middle ground, she gets with a guy or guys who attack her self esteem quite often. These things serve to damage the once pure person and any guy that comes after with good intentions suffer the consequences of her warped personality. I tend to agree, but at the same time there is also the problem of she wants to have at least a few partners before deciding to settle down. She may get bored/curious after a long period of time and just leave to see what's out there even though she may have the best for her already. | ||
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SarR
476 Posts
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