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Here are the requirements
Meets minimum project requirements
1000-1500 formatted words
Accompanying slide presentation
An annotated Bibliography
Correct Citing of all materials (MLA Style)
1 or more graphs to represent data
1 or more graphic images to illustrate or embellish presentation
1 or more graphic images to illustrate or embellish paper
Supporting spreadsheet
Speakers Notes on at least half of your slides
A screen capture just before you print or printout of the dialog box to print
handouts with 6 slides per page (you don't need to actually print it)
Uses at least 5 resources (3 should be resources from library databases - NO
ENCYCLOPEDIAs)
Spelling
Uses correct spelling
Grammar
Grammar is correct and does not detract from the work
Support Materials
Demonstrates appropriate use of support materials
Formatting
Demonstrates appropriate formatting of report
Demonstrates appropriate formatting of presentation
Demonstrates correct usage of speaker's notes, presentation, transitions
Research
Demonstrates good research technique
Demonstrates good evaluation of research items used
Cites resources correctly
Points Awarded
All of the Time - 4
Most of the Time - 3
Some of the Time - 2
A Couple of Times - 1
None of the Time - 0
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Ok, fuck it. Here I go. Bold+Italics is my response to your writing and should not be included in the draft. Bold is my revised version of your writing.
+ Show Spoiler +I would like to begin with a simple overview of the game to give you an idea of how it works. Instead of saying you would like to begin with something, just begin with it. Stating you're about to do something is an insult to the reader because it implies that the reader of your work cannot comprehend the words on the page, and is generally a waste of time for both parties. First we have the interface. At the top (Above "at the top"? Where is "at the top" which I should be looking above for an item you are about to describe? we have menu, message log, and help. At the bottom left we have a minimap showing the entire map we are playing on. Try to keep your prepositions consistent when describing similar items. First you said "above at the top," and then you said, "in the bottom left." It is better to use "at" for both instances because you break your voice by switching to "in." At the bottom middle we have what you have selected; selecting a single unit will give you the details on that unit, while selecting a group will show you how many you have in the group. At the top right we have resources and supply. At the bottom right there is the mouse controls. When a building is selected you will be given all the commands to that building which you may then click on and use. It's the same with units.
Okay, I give up. I suddenly have an even deeper appreciation for my English teachers....
Edit: Right now I would score you at a 1 on the scale provided. Perhaps lower. I'm trying to be generous.
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This is horrendous writing for someone in college. If I had to guess what grade level the person writing this was, 6th grade or lower would not be out of the question. It is rife with spelling and grammar mistakes, misuse of words (e.g., prospective instead of perspective in the last sentence), and on top of that the structure is incoherent. You really need to take a couple writing/grammar classes; no one will take you seriously until you fix this. This may be unpleasant to hear, but better hearing it from us now than others later. Take this as constructive criticism. It's cool you were able to write about a subject you enjoy.
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Also just wanted to say that you might have trouble finding sources for this from library databases (as is required). Unless you already have something in mind, it's going to be difficult to find proper sources for this kind of paper other than websites (such as TL or the blizzard website or something). You might be able to find some academic articles about gaming or gaming culture...but I would really try to find some library sources first and then, to an extent, base your paper around those
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On November 08 2011 05:36 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:
This is horrendous writing for someone in college. If I had to guess what grade level the person writing this was, 6th grade or lower would not be out of the question. It is rife with spelling and grammar mistakes, misuse of words (e.g., prospective instead of perspective in the last sentence), and on top of that the structure is incoherent. You really need to take a couple writing/grammar classes; no one will take you seriously until you fix this. This may be unpleasant to hear, but better hearing it from us now than others later. Take this as constructive criticism. It's cool you were able to write about a subject you enjoy.
Where I go to school, this would be an absolute F in grammar, which would result in a F overall. Also, where are your 'acquisions' (if thats what its called in english)? What is a custom game? What are ressources? What is supply? What is 1v1? And you have HUGE jumps in your text. 'Casters are units that have mainly abilities and weak attack if any at all they are mainly support for fighters and defenders. Your goal is to defeat your enemy.' What the bloody crap? You have to imagine you are explaining the game to your 10 year old sister that never played it before. You dont start with the interface, you start with the history of the game. What is this game about ( to defeat your enemy ). If I were you, which I'm not, but lets pretend I am, I'd delete the entire thing and start all over again. In my opinion this deserves not even a F anymore, since you are in college, which is for like 17-19 year olds?
I cannot comprehend this. If this is you being serious, are you sure you are willing to visit a college?
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Is English your first language?
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On November 08 2011 05:17 Endymion wrote:Show nested quote +On November 08 2011 05:08 hp.Shell wrote:
Would it be appropriate to point out all the spelling/grammar mistakes made by not only the OP, but also others in this topic? Usually I don't do this, but because this topic is about writing, I struggled more than usual to not just start nitpicking everything I saw.
I can't read this now. I'm tired. There's a difference between informally writing a post on a forum and preparing a paper,asking people for feedback on it.And besides, no posts in the thread have made me say "oh god what am i reading" like the op did..
I agree. However, I will just this once.
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=283502#6
*sentence *its entirety.
I did this only because of the icon beside your name, and not with any hurtful intention.
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On November 08 2011 06:04 Xiron wrote:Show nested quote +On November 08 2011 05:36 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:
This is horrendous writing for someone in college. If I had to guess what grade level the person writing this was, 6th grade or lower would not be out of the question. It is rife with spelling and grammar mistakes, misuse of words (e.g., prospective instead of perspective in the last sentence), and on top of that the structure is incoherent. You really need to take a couple writing/grammar classes; no one will take you seriously until you fix this. This may be unpleasant to hear, but better hearing it from us now than others later. Take this as constructive criticism. It's cool you were able to write about a subject you enjoy. Where I go to school, this would be an absolute F in grammar, which would result in a F overall. Also, where are your 'acquisions' (if thats what its called in english)? What is a custom game? What are ressources? What is supply? What is 1v1? And you have HUGE jumps in your text. 'Casters are units that have mainly abilities and weak attack if any at all they are mainly support for fighters and defenders. Your goal is to defeat your enemy.' What the bloody crap? You have to imagine you are explaining the game to your 10 year old sister that never played it before. You dont start with the interface, you start with the history of the game. What is this game about ( to defeat your enemy ). If I were you, which I'm not, but lets pretend I am, I'd delete the entire thing and start all over again. In my opinion this deserves not even a F anymore, since you are in college, which is for like 17-19 year olds?
16
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On November 08 2011 06:12 ZiarDS wrote:Show nested quote +On November 08 2011 06:04 Xiron wrote:On November 08 2011 05:36 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:
This is horrendous writing for someone in college. If I had to guess what grade level the person writing this was, 6th grade or lower would not be out of the question. It is rife with spelling and grammar mistakes, misuse of words (e.g., prospective instead of perspective in the last sentence), and on top of that the structure is incoherent. You really need to take a couple writing/grammar classes; no one will take you seriously until you fix this. This may be unpleasant to hear, but better hearing it from us now than others later. Take this as constructive criticism. It's cool you were able to write about a subject you enjoy. Where I go to school, this would be an absolute F in grammar, which would result in a F overall. Also, where are your 'acquisions' (if thats what its called in english)? What is a custom game? What are ressources? What is supply? What is 1v1? And you have HUGE jumps in your text. 'Casters are units that have mainly abilities and weak attack if any at all they are mainly support for fighters and defenders. Your goal is to defeat your enemy.' What the bloody crap? You have to imagine you are explaining the game to your 10 year old sister that never played it before. You dont start with the interface, you start with the history of the game. What is this game about ( to defeat your enemy ). If I were you, which I'm not, but lets pretend I am, I'd delete the entire thing and start all over again. In my opinion this deserves not even a F anymore, since you are in college, which is for like 17-19 year olds? 16
Yea so you are not in 8th grade anymore and this is definitely NOT acceptable by any standarts.
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This thread sounds super discouraging for the OP. ZiarDS, what is the reasoning behind your decision to go to college? Do you have a degree in mind?
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This is the biggest piece of garbage i've ever seen passed off as a paper. You will be laughed right out of class, and that's just based on your grammar alone.
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On November 08 2011 06:16 hp.Shell wrote:
This thread sounds super discouraging for the OP. ZiarDS, what is the reasoning behind your decision to go to college? Do you have a degree in mind?
Art i don't know why am taking a computer class parrents thought i would be good idea.
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On November 08 2011 06:21 ZiarDS wrote:Show nested quote +On November 08 2011 06:16 hp.Shell wrote:
This thread sounds super discouraging for the OP. ZiarDS, what is the reasoning behind your decision to go to college? Do you have a degree in mind? Art i don't know why am taking a computer class parrents thought i would be good idea.
Have your parents ever read anything you've written? Also in what way is this assignment for a "computer class", I don't understand... :/
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On November 08 2011 06:11 Rice wrote:
Is English your first language?
I was wondering the same thing when reading his text.
Like seriously, how?
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No matter what your choice of profession in life you need to be able to clearly express yourself in writing. Like others in this thread have mentioned you won't be taken seriously by a lot of people if you can't write a simple 1500 page paper.
Imagine you received an e-mail from a colleague with the spelling, grammar and format of your essay. You would likely think they don't take their job seriously or are inept.
Take some writing courses and put in some serious effort.
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Sorry ZairDS but there's only so much we can do to fix what you attempted to write. You have to honestly rescue this debacle yourself. Even for a 16 year old, this first draft is well below standard. I know you are in Arts but with writing like this you either need to seriously get LOTS of English tutoring or consider another degree. Even if you are switching degrees you need serious English help and I suggest that you go find some immediately.
The biggest problem is that there is no consistency in your writing, whether its errors in spelling, grammar or missing introductions/transitions to the next paragraph. These mistakes should have been fixed a great deal in junior high let alone college. When it comes to content you really need to think in the minds of your audience and consider what they do or don't understand before your talk and what you want to them to take home afterwards.
If you do not get help soon this is only going to get worse.
I don't want to sound rude but these are the facts.
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Umm wait, isnt this starcraft 2?
Whatever it is, i wish you good luck sir 
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This is stupid... I do not know when this went from a guy showing something that he wrote to a bunch of stupid people insulting him. Mr. Day[9] would be so ashamed.
OP, it is true, you need to work on your writing. However, you shall not let their insults discourage you. Just keep practicing and you will improve your writing, for sure. I think that making an outline might be a good way to start organizing your ideas.
Good luck!
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Reading this gave me a huge headache and I had to stop half way. I am really doubting that English is your native language.
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EPT
