|
So the fine folks over at liquid were having this bragging thread about their sexlife. I couldn't quite compete with the amount or frequency some of the guys had, but I did fill one critera, they were asking for a reply from someone from Europe. And I'm from Europe.
I'm European, I'll give this a go. Even though I'm a little nervous and this ain't completly my thing.
This one time I was in love with this English chick, and I had met her on wow, travelled over there. We had a blast,and it went awesome. I fast forward!!
I'm back home in Norway, on skype, talking with her, and we're talking about things that happened whilst I was there. (The atmosphere was awesome, she was hysterical and in fits, trying to figure out what the hell was going on the first time we did it, and the second time for that matter).
She said she panicked when I accidently tried putting it in the wrong hole, leapfrogged forward and did this twirl, some cussing and an evil stare, freaked when I told her I didn't miss, I thought you were suppose to. (Was my first time lol). And I had been studying watching quite a bit of porno in advance, I even masturbated in her parents bathroom first time I "peed" just in case there would be sex. (To which she abruted me and said "YOU DID WHAT?", but I just ignored that and kept talking, I do that a lot).
I also had no idea of the speed you're suppose to go around doing things. But I felt pretty confident (since I had been studying a lot). So when she first kissed me in her parents sofa, I responded with fingers in her twat, that too caused quite a bit of comotion on her part. Eyes a little something like ÔÔ and a sqwuak. But when she saw I got a bit scared an pulled back, like I did something wrong, she shrugged it off, like thinking "what the hell".
So right about now I'm telling her I had memorized a sequence for sex from a porno movie, and she's literally peeing herself. But I don't quite get it, i'm so eager to tell my story at this point, so I miss the "brb lol, i'm gonna pee myself any second, omg, lol" or something along those lines.
But I'm feeling pretty funny right about now, and I go off on a rant (as I often do), describing in detail what happened, how I had "casually" been trying to get my finger close to her number 2 without her noticing. And the slap I did on her buttocks was a bet I had with a close mate on WoW (Jinx, if anyone wonders, the guy who made this 6 years ago
+ Show Spoiler + He was regarded as the 2nd best Rogue on the server)
He'd always make fun of me, saying I was such a pussy and I was way to nice and chicken, bet me 1000gold I would never dare to spank her, and we agreed that a slap would be enough.
Anyway, I sidetracked there for a second.
Yeah, as i'm sitting there in this ephoria, telling my super awesome story. I suddenly get awoken by this sharp, loud, terrifying scream. Literally like someone is having a heart attack / choking / death scream. And it keeps going on repeat, like "UUuoowahhææ owfh owffh dear lord unnngghhhh" (close enough).
And I freeze, really trying hard to figure out what the hell is going on. Then I hear another voice, I recognize it, it's her older brother. Trying to calm her down (about now I realize what's happened, she left the room, her mom came in and started listening to me describing how I sexed up her daughter in very explicit detail). So she's having a panick attack, her brother is trying calm her down. He starts screaming for help, her mom keeps going "The Norwegian, The Norwegian"
A few seconds later the 2nd brother comes, and he's laughing his ass off, the first brother trying to calm his mom pissed at the 2nd one being so immature. Then her dad comes running up, panicking aswell thinking it's an emergency. He start screaming too, the immature brother lols and tells him "Marius fucked Xxxxx and mom just found out".
And right around this time she comes out from the bathroom, and for some reason she starts screaming too, actually never heard her cuss and use that kind of language before, but after some comotion and a few minutes she gets everyone out of the room.
And it's just me and her.... (Holy fk I'm scared lol)
Awh man, she was so mad, actually more angry than I think I've ever heard her before. Not sure what she was saying though, wasn't paying attention, too startled her being all mad at me. (Bein all up in my grill, as you rappers would say. Hehe, blink blink Jinro lol).
EDIT 2: They kept saying it was in the wrong forum, so deleted the reddit starcraft thread, and I posted it in some SEX place instead lol http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/m1crf/crosspost_from_rstarcraft_a_gamers_first_time/
 
|
Rofl, never stop blogging please
|
i laughed my little irish ass off, well played sir.
|
Was worried for a second. Got a mate of mine who's also met a girl from england through wow he did vist a while ago.
|
Write a book and I'll be the first in line for your autograph
|
[QUOTE]On November 05 2011 20:13 ImDrizzt wrote:
So the fine folks over at liquid were having this bragging thread about their sexlife. I couldn't quite compete with the amount or frequency some of the guys had, but I did fill one critera, they were asking for a reply from someone from Europe. And I'm from Europe.
I'm European, I'll give this a go. Even though I'm a little nervous and this ain't completly my thing.
This one time I was in love with this English chick, and I had met her on wow, travelled over there. We had a blast,and it went awesome. I fast forward!!
I'm back home in Norway, on skype, talking with her, and we're talking about things that happened whilst I was there. (The atmosphere was awesome, she was hysterical and in fits, trying to figure out what the hell was going on the first time we did it, and the second time for that matter).
She said she panicked when I accidently tried putting it in the wrong hole, leapfrogged forward and did this twirl, some cussing and an evil stare, freaked when I told her I didn't miss, I thought you were suppose to. (Was my first time lol). And I had been studying watching quite a bit of porno in advance, I even masturbated in her parents bathroom first time I "peed" just in case there would be sex. (To which she abruted me and said "YOU DID WHAT?", but I just ignored that and kept talking, I do that a lot).
You know, many guys really struggle finding the right hole/angle the first few times.
The masturbation is a good idea, however telling her is not.
However, well played sir :D
|
Ahahahaha omg I'm dead.
Funniest thing I've read in a while.
|
what.... is.... does not compute....
|
You're an honest and upright person.
|
On November 05 2011 21:24 Pangpootata wrote:
You're an honest and upright person.
I love you, just had to go through so many pm's people telling me they know what my problem in. And they go into detail telling me I am a pathological liar, and some go on about Aspergers lol. I just reply with, nu uh, I am lucky to sometimes let my spontaniety just get free flow here and there, you guys just be hatin.
I love it when people see me as honest, best feeling ever, it's like a really intense, even sc game vs someone better than you.
|
Bulgaria3265 Posts
Rofl you should write more blogs. 5/5
|
The Norwegian, the Norwegian!
Rofl best part, 2nd coming of the vikings.
|
Norway28665 Posts
marius is completely honest. that's one of the many reasons why he is such a wonderful and truly loveable person. 
in addition he is nice though. an asshole with no filter just sucks, but marius is not like that!
|
A video would be nice. My imagination is terrible.
|
On November 05 2011 21:42 Garnet wrote:
A video would be nice. My imagination is terrible.
Okay, here's me ganking noobs trying to do dailies first few weeks of Cata
+ Show Spoiler +http://www.youtube.com/user/ImDrizzt?feature=mhee#p/u/1/fmA2f41Tb1U
|
You should write more of these
|
what the... i don't even...
|
"The Norwegian, The Norwegian"
Winners winning wins.
|
On November 05 2011 22:53 Linwelin wrote:
You should write more of these
Getting mixed messages again xD
Got some tips saying me not to post so much, and calm down a little, at the time it sounded like a really good idea =]
|
Lmao. Such an awesome read. Never stop blogging Marius!
|
On November 06 2011 00:15 ImDrizzt wrote:Getting mixed messages again xD Got some tips saying me not to post so much, and calm down a little, at the time it sounded like a really good idea =]
man, your blogs are just awsome. another 5/5 blog
|
|
|
Did you ever play WC3 Drizzt? I remember doing AT with a gentleman named Drizzt; he played Night Elf and was a bit of an eccentric fellow.
|
Hey, no, well, I played WC3 for the first week it launched, then back to STarcraft, guess that doesn't count.
I played WC2, Starcraft, D2, WoW and SC2 the most.
|
rofl please never stop blogging all your stories make me laugh so hard :D
|
United States10328 Posts
|
Marius's Blogs are the best! I'm laughing so much hahaha.
|
Been a while since I've read a blog where something actually happens XD
|
Interesting story. I fell in love with your (mis)adventures
|
Thanks for all the compliment guys, tonight I actually dreamt about writing, can't remember having done that before.
Usually it's about SC2, porn, fantasy, some answers to one of life's deep mysteries or some dreadful nightmares.
|
ROFL, omg, I'm laughing so hard. Hahaha, your blogs are amazing.
|
|
|
Never stop blogging
Please
|
On November 07 2011 19:09 FractalsOnFire wrote:
Never stop blogging
Please
I'll strive to be more like Day9, for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
