• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 04:17
CEST 10:17
KST 17:17
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Power Rank - Esports World Cup 202550RSL Season 1 - Final Week9[ASL19] Finals Recap: Standing Tall15HomeStory Cup 27 - Info & Preview18Classic wins Code S Season 2 (2025)16
Community News
BSL Team Wars - Bonyth, Dewalt, Hawk & Sziky teams4Weekly Cups (July 14-20): Final Check-up0Esports World Cup 2025 - Brackets Revealed19Weekly Cups (July 7-13): Classic continues to roll8Team TLMC #5 - Submission re-extension4
StarCraft 2
General
Power Rank - Esports World Cup 2025 RSL Revival patreon money discussion thread Jim claims he and Firefly were involved in match-fixing RSL Season 1 - Final Week The GOAT ranking of GOAT rankings
Tourneys
Esports World Cup 2025 Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Sea Duckling Open (Global, Bronze-Diamond) FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $8000 live event RSL: Revival, a new crowdfunded tournament series
Strategy
How did i lose this ZvP, whats the proper response
Custom Maps
External Content
Mutation #239 Bad Weather Mutation # 483 Kill Bot Wars Mutation # 482 Wheel of Misfortune Mutation # 481 Fear and Lava
Brood War
General
BW General Discussion ASL20 Preliminary Maps Ginuda's JaeDong Interview Series BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ [Update] ShieldBattery: 1v1 Fastest Support!
Tourneys
CSL Xiamen International Invitational [Megathread] Daily Proleagues [CSLPRO] It's CSLAN Season! - Last Chance [BSL 2v2] ProLeague Season 3 - Friday 21:00 CET
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers I am doing this better than progamers do.
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread [MMORPG] Tree of Savior (Successor of Ragnarok) Path of Exile CCLP - Command & Conquer League Project
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread The Games Industry And ATVI Stop Killing Games - European Citizens Initiative
Fan Clubs
SKT1 Classic Fan Club! Maru Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[\m/] Heavy Metal Thread Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece Korean Music Discussion
Sports
2024 - 2025 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 NBA General Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Installation of Windows 10 suck at "just a moment" Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Ping To Win? Pings And Their…
TrAiDoS
momentary artworks from des…
tankgirl
from making sc maps to makin…
Husyelt
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Socialism Anyone?
GreenHorizons
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 638 users

My first time

Blogs > ImDrizzt
Post a Reply
Normal
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-05 14:04:49
November 05 2011 11:13 GMT
#1
So the fine folks over at liquid were having this bragging thread about their sexlife. I couldn't quite compete with the amount or frequency some of the guys had, but I did fill one critera, they were asking for a reply from someone from Europe. And I'm from Europe.


I'm European, I'll give this a go. Even though I'm a little nervous and this ain't completly my thing.

This one time I was in love with this English chick, and I had met her on wow, travelled over there. We had a blast,and it went awesome. I fast forward!!

I'm back home in Norway, on skype, talking with her, and we're talking about things that happened whilst I was there. (The atmosphere was awesome, she was hysterical and in fits, trying to figure out what the hell was going on the first time we did it, and the second time for that matter).

She said she panicked when I accidently tried putting it in the wrong hole, leapfrogged forward and did this twirl, some cussing and an evil stare, freaked when I told her I didn't miss, I thought you were suppose to. (Was my first time lol). And I had been studying watching quite a bit of porno in advance, I even masturbated in her parents bathroom first time I "peed" just in case there would be sex. (To which she abruted me and said "YOU DID WHAT?", but I just ignored that and kept talking, I do that a lot).

I also had no idea of the speed you're suppose to go around doing things. But I felt pretty confident (since I had been studying a lot). So when she first kissed me in her parents sofa, I responded with fingers in her twat, that too caused quite a bit of comotion on her part. Eyes a little something like ÔÔ and a sqwuak. But when she saw I got a bit scared an pulled back, like I did something wrong, she shrugged it off, like thinking "what the hell".

So right about now I'm telling her I had memorized a sequence for sex from a porno movie, and she's literally peeing herself. But I don't quite get it, i'm so eager to tell my story at this point, so I miss the "brb lol, i'm gonna pee myself any second, omg, lol" or something along those lines.

But I'm feeling pretty funny right about now, and I go off on a rant (as I often do), describing in detail what happened, how I had "casually" been trying to get my finger close to her number 2 without her noticing. And the slap I did on her buttocks was a bet I had with a close mate on WoW (Jinx, if anyone wonders, the guy who made this 6 years ago
+ Show Spoiler +

He was regarded as the 2nd best Rogue on the server)

He'd always make fun of me, saying I was such a pussy and I was way to nice and chicken, bet me 1000gold I would never dare to spank her, and we agreed that a slap would be enough.

Anyway, I sidetracked there for a second.

Yeah, as i'm sitting there in this ephoria, telling my super awesome story. I suddenly get awoken by this sharp, loud, terrifying scream. Literally like someone is having a heart attack / choking / death scream. And it keeps going on repeat, like "UUuoowahhææ owfh owffh dear lord unnngghhhh" (close enough).

And I freeze, really trying hard to figure out what the hell is going on. Then I hear another voice, I recognize it, it's her older brother. Trying to calm her down (about now I realize what's happened, she left the room, her mom came in and started listening to me describing how I sexed up her daughter in very explicit detail). So she's having a panick attack, her brother is trying calm her down. He starts screaming for help, her mom keeps going "The Norwegian, The Norwegian"

A few seconds later the 2nd brother comes, and he's laughing his ass off, the first brother trying to calm his mom pissed at the 2nd one being so immature. Then her dad comes running up, panicking aswell thinking it's an emergency. He start screaming too, the immature brother lols and tells him "Marius fucked Xxxxx and mom just found out".
And right around this time she comes out from the bathroom, and for some reason she starts screaming too, actually never heard her cuss and use that kind of language before, but after some comotion and a few minutes she gets everyone out of the room.
And it's just me and her.... (Holy fk I'm scared lol)

Awh man, she was so mad, actually more angry than I think I've ever heard her before. Not sure what she was saying though, wasn't paying attention, too startled her being all mad at me. (Bein all up in my grill, as you rappers would say. Hehe, blink blink Jinro lol).


EDIT 2: They kept saying it was in the wrong forum, so deleted the reddit starcraft thread, and I posted it in some SEX place instead lol http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/m1crf/crosspost_from_rstarcraft_a_gamers_first_time/

****
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
Snaiil
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Sweden312 Posts
November 05 2011 11:21 GMT
#2
Rofl, never stop blogging please
Detri
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United Kingdom683 Posts
November 05 2011 11:31 GMT
#3
i laughed my little irish ass off, well played sir.
The poor are thieves, beggars and whores, the rich are politicians, solicitors and courtesans...
Neeh
Profile Joined August 2010
Norway458 Posts
November 05 2011 11:41 GMT
#4
Was worried for a second. Got a mate of mine who's also met a girl from england through wow he did vist a while ago.
Horrde
Profile Joined March 2010
Canada302 Posts
November 05 2011 11:41 GMT
#5
Write a book and I'll be the first in line for your autograph
Molu
Profile Joined June 2011
Sweden42 Posts
November 05 2011 12:00 GMT
#6
[QUOTE]On November 05 2011 20:13 ImDrizzt wrote:
So the fine folks over at liquid were having this bragging thread about their sexlife. I couldn't quite compete with the amount or frequency some of the guys had, but I did fill one critera, they were asking for a reply from someone from Europe. And I'm from Europe.


I'm European, I'll give this a go. Even though I'm a little nervous and this ain't completly my thing.

This one time I was in love with this English chick, and I had met her on wow, travelled over there. We had a blast,and it went awesome. I fast forward!!

I'm back home in Norway, on skype, talking with her, and we're talking about things that happened whilst I was there. (The atmosphere was awesome, she was hysterical and in fits, trying to figure out what the hell was going on the first time we did it, and the second time for that matter).

She said she panicked when I accidently tried putting it in the wrong hole, leapfrogged forward and did this twirl, some cussing and an evil stare, freaked when I told her I didn't miss, I thought you were suppose to. (Was my first time lol). And I had been studying watching quite a bit of porno in advance, I even masturbated in her parents bathroom first time I "peed" just in case there would be sex. (To which she abruted me and said "YOU DID WHAT?", but I just ignored that and kept talking, I do that a lot).

You know, many guys really struggle finding the right hole/angle the first few times.

The masturbation is a good idea, however telling her is not.

However, well played sir :D


Phenny
Profile Joined October 2010
Australia1435 Posts
November 05 2011 12:14 GMT
#7
Ahahahaha omg I'm dead.

Funniest thing I've read in a while.
Orpheos
Profile Joined April 2010
United States1663 Posts
November 05 2011 12:17 GMT
#8
what.... is.... does not compute....
Pangpootata
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
1838 Posts
November 05 2011 12:24 GMT
#9
You're an honest and upright person.
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-05 13:36:18
November 05 2011 12:29 GMT
#10
On November 05 2011 21:24 Pangpootata wrote:
You're an honest and upright person.


I love you, just had to go through so many pm's people telling me they know what my problem in. And they go into detail telling me I am a pathological liar, and some go on about Aspergers lol. I just reply with, nu uh, I am lucky to sometimes let my spontaniety just get free flow here and there, you guys just be hatin.

I love it when people see me as honest, best feeling ever, it's like a really intense, even sc game vs someone better than you.
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
pred470r
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Bulgaria3265 Posts
November 05 2011 12:33 GMT
#11
Rofl you should write more blogs. 5/5
Steveling
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Greece10806 Posts
November 05 2011 12:36 GMT
#12
The Norwegian, the Norwegian!

Rofl best part, 2nd coming of the vikings.
My dick has shrunk to the point where it looks like I have 3 balls.
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28665 Posts
November 05 2011 12:40 GMT
#13
marius is completely honest. that's one of the many reasons why he is such a wonderful and truly loveable person.

in addition he is nice though. an asshole with no filter just sucks, but marius is not like that!
Moderator
Garnet
Profile Blog Joined February 2006
Vietnam9016 Posts
November 05 2011 12:42 GMT
#14
A video would be nice. My imagination is terrible.
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
November 05 2011 13:46 GMT
#15
On November 05 2011 21:42 Garnet wrote:
A video would be nice. My imagination is terrible.


Okay, here's me ganking noobs trying to do dailies first few weeks of Cata

+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.youtube.com/user/ImDrizzt?feature=mhee#p/u/1/fmA2f41Tb1U
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
Linwelin
Profile Joined March 2011
Ireland7554 Posts
November 05 2011 13:53 GMT
#16
You should write more of these
Fuck Razor and Death Prophet
mizU
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States12125 Posts
November 05 2011 13:55 GMT
#17
what the... i don't even...
if happy ever afters did exist <3 @watamizu_
Probe1
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States17920 Posts
November 05 2011 13:56 GMT
#18
"The Norwegian, The Norwegian"

Winners winning wins.
우정호 KT_VIOLET 1988 - 2012 While we are postponing, life speeds by
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
November 05 2011 15:15 GMT
#19
On November 05 2011 22:53 Linwelin wrote:
You should write more of these


Getting mixed messages again xD

Got some tips saying me not to post so much, and calm down a little, at the time it sounded like a really good idea =]
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
OmniEulogy
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada6592 Posts
November 05 2011 15:52 GMT
#20
Lmao. Such an awesome read. Never stop blogging Marius!
LiquidDota Staff
Doomgiver
Profile Joined September 2010
Portugal59 Posts
November 05 2011 17:12 GMT
#21
On November 06 2011 00:15 ImDrizzt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 05 2011 22:53 Linwelin wrote:
You should write more of these


Getting mixed messages again xD

Got some tips saying me not to post so much, and calm down a little, at the time it sounded like a really good idea =]


man, your blogs are just awsome. another 5/5 blog
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
November 05 2011 17:59 GMT
#22
Thaaaaankz <3
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
DrTJEckleburg
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States1080 Posts
November 05 2011 18:08 GMT
#23
Did you ever play WC3 Drizzt? I remember doing AT with a gentleman named Drizzt; he played Night Elf and was a bit of an eccentric fellow.
Im pretty good at whistling with my hands, especially when Im holding a whistle.
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
November 05 2011 20:24 GMT
#24
Hey, no, well, I played WC3 for the first week it launched, then back to STarcraft, guess that doesn't count.

I played WC2, Starcraft, D2, WoW and SC2 the most.
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
blade55555
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States17423 Posts
November 05 2011 20:58 GMT
#25
rofl please never stop blogging all your stories make me laugh so hard :D
When I think of something else, something will go here
]343[
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States10328 Posts
November 05 2011 22:08 GMT
#26
olololololol nice
Writer
rUiNati0n
Profile Joined December 2010
United States1155 Posts
November 05 2011 22:26 GMT
#27
Marius's Blogs are the best! I'm laughing so much hahaha.
eating corn while thinking about eating more corn
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
November 05 2011 23:20 GMT
#28
Been a while since I've read a blog where something actually happens XD
6581
keiraknightlee
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States301 Posts
November 05 2011 23:25 GMT
#29
Interesting story. I fell in love with your (mis)adventures
~~~Happiness. Dreams. Love~~~Good Luck
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
November 06 2011 11:03 GMT
#30
Thanks for all the compliment guys, tonight I actually dreamt about writing, can't remember having done that before.
Usually it's about SC2, porn, fantasy, some answers to one of life's deep mysteries or some dreadful nightmares.
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
ghrur
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States3786 Posts
November 06 2011 22:25 GMT
#31
ROFL, omg, I'm laughing so hard. Hahaha, your blogs are amazing.
darkness overpowering
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-07 01:57:41
November 07 2011 01:57 GMT
#32
Ty, I wrote another one, but I got told I shouldn't post so many, so I made it in another thread, here is the last one. Spend a great deal of time on it, but I think it'll only "sit" well with oldschool SC/BW gamers, since it's pretty specific.

http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=282523&currentpage=9#169

Scroll a little bit down on page 9.

Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
November 07 2011 10:09 GMT
#33
Never stop blogging

Please
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
November 07 2011 13:07 GMT
#34
On November 07 2011 19:09 FractalsOnFire wrote:
Never stop blogging

Please


I'll strive to be more like Day9, for you.
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
Normal
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 1h 43m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft: Brood War
firebathero 1591
Hyuk 320
Leta 304
ToSsGirL 168
Zeus 127
Dewaltoss 116
JulyZerg 51
sorry 45
Sacsri 32
soO 25
[ Show more ]
NaDa 23
ajuk12(nOOB) 22
ivOry 1
Britney 0
Dota 2
XcaliburYe168
BananaSlamJamma114
Counter-Strike
Stewie2K529
Other Games
ceh9583
Happy203
SortOf97
Fuzer 89
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick1232
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Sammyuel 45
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• iopq 5
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Stunt736
Other Games
• WagamamaTV141
Upcoming Events
Esports World Cup
1h 43m
Reynor vs Zoun
Solar vs SHIN
Classic vs ShoWTimE
Cure vs Rogue
Esports World Cup
1d 2h
OSC
1d 5h
CranKy Ducklings
2 days
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
2 days
CSO Cup
2 days
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
2 days
Bonyth vs Sziky
Dewalt vs Hawk
Hawk vs QiaoGege
Sziky vs Dewalt
Mihu vs Bonyth
Zhanhun vs QiaoGege
QiaoGege vs Fengzi
FEL
3 days
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
3 days
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
3 days
Bonyth vs Zhanhun
Dewalt vs Mihu
Hawk vs Sziky
Sziky vs QiaoGege
Mihu vs Hawk
Zhanhun vs Dewalt
Fengzi vs Bonyth
[ Show More ]
Sparkling Tuna Cup
5 days
Online Event
5 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

CSL Xiamen Invitational
Championship of Russia 2025
Murky Cup #2

Ongoing

Copa Latinoamericana 4
Jiahua Invitational
BSL20 Non-Korean Championship
Esports World Cup 2025
CC Div. A S7
Underdog Cup #2
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 7
IEM Dallas 2025
PGL Astana 2025
Asian Champions League '25

Upcoming

CSLPRO Last Chance 2025
ASL Season 20: Qualifier #1
ASL Season 20: Qualifier #2
ASL Season 20
CSLPRO Chat StarLAN 3
BSL Season 21
RSL Revival: Season 2
Maestros of the Game
SEL Season 2 Championship
uThermal 2v2 Main Event
FEL Cracov 2025
HCC Europe
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.