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Hey guys...
You know, I have been thinking about it, and no matter what I try to do to make myself happy, I just get more sad. Even in times were I should be gleeming with joy. Ever since I was 8 or so I have never really enjoyed something. Some people call me a different person. I show little to no emotions.
Ever since my parent's divorce, my life feels like it is a tourture every single day. It's not the fact that they are divorced that makes me upset, its the fact that I am litteraly terrified everyday of what is to come throught the poor relationship of both couple. Every day is a constant battle with myself. My terror. My thoughts.
My favorite things to do, like play sc2 and LoL are like a burden now; they are unenjoyable and feel like a chore more than anything. I still continue to try to play, like I said, I feel worse and worse.
I can also feel my health slowly failing. I am extremely underweight mainly because I am feed one meal a day.I feel constant pain in my back and in my head, but alas, my father does not care for me. I feel worthless.
My post history throughout my career has is filled with greetings and great manners towards others. Maybe I do this so others will pass it on. Or maybe, I feel like I want to be someone better.
If anyone has any tips for me, I would be open to their comments. My life is to the point now were it is not worth living. If anyone has had any similar experiences, please guide me through it.
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Lexapro or if you don't have health insurance (America, fuck yeah) cannabis.
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Start working out. Endorphins will make you feel great despite everything being not great.
That's what I do.... rofl.
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Sounds like depression. You should see a psychologist.
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Germany449 Posts
you should push your Reallife a little. You know like do some sport and get some other hobbys....playing games only makes you feel crazy and you get a social retard...i felt that too.
meet some new people and get some other friends.
the first thing you should do is to stop getting a bonjwa btw  ...i know i shouldnt say that on TL but: fuck starcraft..its not for everyone meant (me neither).
games are not for everyone. some people dont do themselves a good when they play games.
just dont be to hard on yourself BUT also dont be to soft!
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Find something, whatever it might be. I have a feeling that's what a lot of people will end up telling you. Find something you care about, that you want to do, that motivates you. Find someone. Get out of the house and find it.
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On October 11 2011 07:00 Steelavocado wrote:
I can also feel my health slowly failing. I am extremely underweight mainly because I am feed one meal a day.I feel constant pain in my back and in my head, but alas, my father does not care for me. I feel worthless.
Yeah, exercising will solve a lot of your problems. Hardest part is the motivation to start it up and keep it going until you start getting used to the routine.
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you've got a good case of depression there i guess (yes that is a medical condition). Go read up on it, that's the first step to get through.
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On October 11 2011 07:07 TheKefka wrote:
How old are you?
I am 16 and a junior in High School.
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Consult a psychiatrist first and foremost. There are a lot of resources out there for people in your situation. As a rational person I am sure you know there are many many things in life which are enjoyable and exciting, but emotionally you are unable to feel that way. It's not your fault, professional help is available and I suggest you seek it. Ask your mother for help in seeing a psychiatrist if your father isn't caring for you.
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If you don't enjoy SC2 anymore, don't play it.
My advice would be to try and find an emotional crutch. A psychiatrist or counselor can be really helpful, but nothing can replace a good friend. Hopefully you have some sort of friend that can be there for you and who can understand or at least listen to you vent about what you're going through. Obviously it's easier said than done, but I truly believe that that is the best road out of depression. I've had depression for the past few years myself and the worst part is not being able to have anyone who understands what it feels like... so I'm still looking for my crutch to lean on. It's the worst, I know.
Another piece of advice: don't get into drugs, alcohol, or sex to make yourself feel better, because it just plain won't. I don't have any experience with any of those, and I am really thankful for that because I know that my depression could be a LOT worse if those things let it spiral out of control.
This is also a fun read that made me feel better when I read it a while back. It's got some inspiring stuff too (even though it's from Cracked)
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-life-actually-does-get-better/
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On October 11 2011 07:07 Itsmedudeman wrote:
Sounds like depression. You should see a psychologist.
I agree many of the symptoms described sound like depression. While all the adive in here has been good you should really seek profesional help in this case.
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On October 11 2011 07:16 ClysmiC wrote:If you don't enjoy SC2 anymore, don't play it. My advice would be to try and find an emotional crutch. A psychiatrist or counselor can be really helpful, but nothing can replace a good friend. Hopefully you have some sort of friend that can be there for you and who can understand or at least listen to you vent about what you're going through. Obviously it's easier said than done, but I truly believe that that is the best road out of depression. I've had depression for the past few years myself and the worst part is not being able to have anyone who understands what it feels like... so I'm still looking for my crutch to lean on. It's the worst, I know. Another piece of advice: don't get into drugs, alcohol, or sex to make yourself feel better, because it just plain won't. I don't have any experience with any of those, and I am really thankful for that because I know that my depression could be a LOT worse if those things let it spiral out of control. This is also a fun read that made me feel better when I read it a while back. It's got some inspiring stuff too (even though it's from Cracked) http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-life-actually-does-get-better/
Thank you, it honestly does mean alot to me right now.
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Germany449 Posts
omg people pls stop making a big thing out of it. he is 16 years old...he is a teenager. come on stop to scare him and make some diagnosis over the internet...srsly...
"but dude, wikipedia told me thats depression." *facepalm*
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On October 11 2011 07:10 Steelavocado wrote:I am 16 and a junior in High School.
Thought so.When I was your age I was "depressed" kinda like you.Partly because I was socially awkward(kinda still am,but I don't give a shit about it and have a stronger personality) and didn't really approach or talk to people,so consequently I didn't do anything,rarely got out of the house and just vegetating inside of my room doing nothing.
Anyways,you would be amazed how much things change in your head if you just step out of the door and take a walk,run,whatever.Any kind of physical activity occupies your mind and makes you feel better,for instance,I started going to the gym.
Look,all these people saying to you that you have a case of depression,you probably don't.If you feel like it,have a talk with a psychiatrist,but you should know that the way you are feeling now and look at the world is a extremely common amongst insecure or introvert kids of your age.It will get better with time,but you must do something about it.People that are telling you to take medication,for god sake do not listen to them.
Physical activity,learning a new language,art,reading,or just hanging our with friends outside,any of these things will make you feel better over time,I guarantee you and if not you can always resort to drastic measures like medication.
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Chin up buddy, call kids help phone, start eating properly and get out there and check stuff out!
The world is a fucking amazing place. Just open your eyes!
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On October 11 2011 07:19 LayZRR wrote:
omg people pls stop making a big thing out of it. he is 16 years old...he is a teenager. come on stop to scare him and make some diagnosis over the internet...srsly...
"but dude, wikipedia told me thats depression." *facepalm*
He complains of both physical and emotional problems and you dont think its serious?
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On October 11 2011 07:21 Zorkmid wrote:
Chin up buddy, call kids help phone, start eating properly and get out there and check stuff out!
The world is a fucking amazing place. Just open your eyes!
I wish it was that easy.
When you are in a situation like I am, you cant just fix everything. I tried therapy once. It was probably the biggest waste of my time. I am not ungrateful for your advice or the "help" from the phyciatrist, it just isn't helping. You would think if I could eat properly I would, but I can't. I feel hopeless...
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Sounds like depression, and it totally sucks. I've been in a similar situation except no, my parents have never split up. Sometimes it gets so bad that I wish they did, though. (Such a bad thing to say but you'd have to understand my situation.)
I think the best thing to do is try and hang out with your friends more. I really hope you have some supportive friends, they can help you get through tough times. If not, then actively try to find some friends or at least people in you're life that you've known for a long time. If you find someone who understands your situation with your parents and stuff, it will make it a lot easier to just TALK.
And worst comes to worst, I suggest you try something like weed (I do, I'm in no way addicted, and it helps tremendously.) You shouldn't rely on it by no means, but it will definitely make things easier to bear when times get too rough.
My last bit of advice would be to (if you can afford it), spend a bit of extra money doing just.. stuff.
I understand that you feel like your life is too bland and boring, but maybe getting out and watching a movie, eating good food, or anything can really help you enjoy life. The subtle things that I enjoy like going to the beach and stuff are really cheap... but when depressed can just make you feel more alone. So try spending a little more money and cheer up!
I wish you the best, as any member of the TL community should be happy.
If you still feel really depressed and just want someone to talk to, PM me and we can talk~
Gl; hf!
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On October 11 2011 07:31 Temporarykid wrote:
And worst comes to worst, I suggest you try something like weed (I do, I'm in no way addicted, and it helps tremendously.) You shouldn't rely on it by no means, but it will definitely make things easier to bear when times get too rough.
You think he has depression and your suggestion is drug use!
I dont know man that just sounds like an awful idea to me.
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On October 11 2011 07:10 Steelavocado wrote:I am 16 and a junior in High School.
okay, this i dunno. its high school. Bah. i feel ive been in a similar situation with home life/ parents divorce/ all that jazz. I was 9? when it happened and we were poor as hell, single mom family with 2 kids. Your all depressed since then? Tho it did take me a few years.
Really, im pretty much against pills and shit for this type of thing. I had a friend get depressed like this for awhile, parents took her in and she has been taking 4 pills a day since, and has only gotten worse, lazy, its intense. I am no longer friends with her, she got insane, and it wasn't from the depression anymore, not to mention she had everything handed to her with no responsibility to begin with. I dont suggest just going and getting drugged up from a shrink, they just want your money.
Depression at that age is pretty common and really once you grow up a little and get into more adult situations, you will realize the past happened for a reason and in the end you wasted all that time being unhappy for nothing. I know i felt that way.
At the end of the day, life sucks, but if you let things bring you down it will do alot more than suck and thats what happening. I know you love your parents and all but realize its their personal life and instead of getting all sad over it look ahead, be close to your family, and if one of them brings home someone who is just god awful, tell them like you would any close friend.
Also, i guess i am different than most ppl with this, but when i feel like things are getting rough, i just take a reality check instead of just being sad about it. Life isnt as hard as most people make it out to be, and then you make low stress things consume you. There are prolly ppl worse off than you in the town over. Hell you can afford internet.
Just think about everything that is heavy on your mind, then see if there is anything in your power to do about it. If there is, great, go do it. If not well... why bother stressing and getting depressed over something you have little to no control over? Its pointless, and only brings yourself down for absolutely no reason.
I just know i was a messed up little kid during the early high school years, and looking on it now 4 or 5 years later, i realize it was in the end, for nothing. But ill say this, once you move out of your parents house, the stress about what they do lifted immensely. Not sure how much any of this will help since you already have your mind on how depressed you are, but just realize the stress that is happening in your life isn't as hard as you are making it in your head. It usually never is.
And if your just someone who acts depressed because you enjoy the attention, well, are you? you might not even realize it.
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On October 11 2011 07:25 Steelavocado wrote:Show nested quote +On October 11 2011 07:21 Zorkmid wrote:
Chin up buddy, call kids help phone, start eating properly and get out there and check stuff out!
The world is a fucking amazing place. Just open your eyes! I wish it was that easy. When you are in a situation like I am, you cant just fix everything. I tried therapy once. It was probably the biggest waste of my time. I am not ungrateful for your advice or the "help" from the phyciatrist, it just isn't helping. You would think if I could eat properly I would, but I can't. I feel hopeless...
Why can't you eat properly? The way your post of worded make it sounds like your only allowed to eat once per day.
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Just please....don't take any medication. I wouldn't even smoke weed if you are the introverted type. Your thoughts on depression will only intensify.
Just work on yourself. Improve on the things you can change and don't like in your life. Happiness is a state of mind. It's a choice to be happy, not an accolade.
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I recommend seeing a psychiatrist. I share your same problem almost down to every detail and I fixed it by taking stimulants. They make me feel alive and happy. Psychologists don't prescribe stuff so make sure it's a psychiatrist.
Edit: Fuck SSRIs though, if he tries to give you that then say no
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Think of one nice thing that you could do for someone and do it each day this week. Next week, think of two nice things that you could do for two different people each day and do those. Continue.
Depression is terrible because it focuses us in on our selves and makes it impossible to change. It sounds like you've had a rough time recently and I'm really sorry to hear that. But I strongly recommend finding someone to talk to and then focusing as much as you can on things outside yourself. I know it sounds strange, but doing nice things for other people will make you happier then doing nice things for yourself will.
Feel free to pm me 
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Hey Steelavocado, just want to say that a good deal of the stuff in that Cracked article is quite true. I'm 27 now and I can tell you that it does get better. I think one of the most important things to take away from that article and much of the advice given to you is that what you are feeling is very very NORMAL.
I want to preface my post with some background:
I was a nerdy, quiet, passive aggressive, withdrawn person in high school to most people. I saw counselors before and while I talked through some stuff it ultimately didn't change too much for me. I was called into the principal's office because rumors were going around that I had a hit list and was going to snap and show up to school with guns or something.
Whenever I hear someone talk about being depressed at that age it makes me remember my high school self. I'm hoping some of my advice from a kindred spirit can help you.
While there are tons of people that you see in your daily life at your age that seem to be totally happy with life with everything under control I think you would be surprised how many people feel the exact same way you do. You just can't see it. Being a little over a decade older than you (wow I feel old now) I can tell you from experience that most of my friends had the same feelings of helplessness, sadness, loneliness, and just general frustration with life. I always thought that I was a weirdo that did "stupid" things like cry at my computer, sometimes without really knowing why. Sure, not everyone does that specifically but lots of people, feel the same thing I did then and you are now but expressed it differently. Everyone has embarrassing stories about how their emotions tore them apart when they were your age.
If it's any consolation, high school is literally the toughest time emotionally for most people barring extraneous factors. I know you feel like you are 100% in control of your mental faculties but your body is cranking hormones like there is no tomorrow that make every thing feel worse than you will remember it years from now. Again, it may seem like an eternity now before you go to college in two years but I can almost guarantee you will feel much much better when you do. Make sure you dorm and get out of the house and on your own. I can't speak for everyone but I know that for me going to college was like a psychological rebirth. Things felt different, it was a fresh start, new people, a new place, everything just felt right and better.
Like I said at the top of my post, I had a lot of issues when I was in high school. I never went out with friends, I stayed at home and played video games, feeling depressed. When I got to college I made friends, starting going out to events, started talking to people and generally feeling comfortable in my own skin for the first time since I entered middle school. Two years into college I met my girlfriend that I have been with ever since. The high school me never ever in a million years would have been able to pull that off. And I didn't even go ask her out either, there was such a drastic change in my personality, confidence, and everything in general that she approached me. High school me never would have had a chance, I couldn't even make eye contact with a girl and not feel the blood rush to my face. I was very different though.
Sorry to be so long winded, I hope some of this post connects with you and is helpful. I really do. I wish I could go back in time and tell my high school self this advice. Telling you is probably the next best thing. Good luck, and remember that things will get better and what you are going through right now is normal. You will get through it and you will be happy when you do.
Feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to.
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he's 16.. and as far as i know its puberty, and hes in school, thats normal to feel a bit down,we all have been there/are there. its just a phase in life. it will pass.
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I don't feel that I know you enough to give you detailed advice or that I am the best person to do so even if I did, but what I feel is certainly true is that time will make things better. I could see my Sophomore year self writing something similar to what you wrote, and honestly I look back on that time thinking that I was always upset over nothing.
And people are right about just doing things. It doesn't have to be a great passion, but hell, try playing an instrument, or writing lyrics, or working out, or biking/skating/running, or getting a new game, or watching sports, or reading, or hell, just start watching a bunch of new shows to find something to occupy yourself. It helps.
And realize that people are out there who want you to be happy. I know that may sound silly, but realize that in less than an hour, 2 dozen people on a website for a computer game wanted to respond because they were genuinely concerned about you. There are good people out there.
Also, your tag is "Hello! Hope you have a great day!" You are a fucking baller lol.
If you want to PM me, I'd be happy to talk to you
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A lot of good advice in this thread. What about talking to a counselor at school and getting some stuff of your chest? There are people who care about your well-being and are willing to help. If the reason you can't eat well and be healthy is because it's not being provided to you then that is also something you need to talk to someone, probably a counselor, at your school. Feeling sad, or depressed, is nothing to feel embarrassed about and just know a lot of your peers are going through similar things. Good luck
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"I am litteraly terrified everyday of what is to come throught the poor relationship of both couple" can you clarify this?
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I hated life when i was 16 too. Since about 2 years after that i have never been happier. Find something you love and commit yourself too it. Fix your diet and start doing something physical. This alone is proven to improve your mood. Life gets better.
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I often feel like you described but I force myself to change my mind set really. When I'm feeling apathetic towards everything as you described, I start fresh the next day :
I go to sleep early, around 10 or 11 pm. Wake up at 6am then I do exercises for at least an hour (jogging, weights, cardio stuff like shadow boxing or anything else) until I feel drained. After that, I take a shower, shave, etc; then I clean my apartment.
I open all my windows and blinds for a while (unless it's -40C or something, but definitely open if it's not colder than -1 to -5C depending on wind) and let fresh air and sunshine in my apartment. I listen to music I haven't listened to in a while and play a fun strategy game like Go or something else I enjoy that's not stressful but makes me think.
Finally, once all is said and done, I feel great and I don't hate everything anymore. I'm not a guy who does many activities or has many real friends, so maybe people will suggest such things instead. But I'm a loner and that's how I do it.
Also, I've noticed that what makes me feel like shit in the first place is wasting too much time doing nothing on the internet. It drains my motivation and even things I normally enjoy on the internet become completely dull. Too much of one thing is simply never a good thing unfortunately. I don't have many other hobbies because I'm ridiculously poor and can't actually afford to do anything that costs money though so it amplifies my problem. The reason everything I mentioned helps me is simply because I'm staying away from the computer (except to play Go) and doing something else for a while.
I can do literally nothing for an entire weekend sometimes... that's when I know I need to change it up.
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It's great that you're blogging about this and talking with people. Keep it up, we're all friends!
If you ever feel so terrified or sad that you cannot work or enjoy recreation, you *need* to tell someone about it (parent, teacher/counselor, pediatrician) immediately. If you're alone then you should call a friend to come visit and talk with you, and if that isn't possible you need to get to a hospital right away (call for an ambulance if necessary) and tell them what's going through your head.
It isn't possible for us to simply diagnose what's wrong or tell you exactly what you need to do to feel better (although there are some good suggestions in this thread, such as correcting your nutrition), and whether or not you feel like medication versus psychiatric therapy (perhaps both) is for you (there are pros and cons of each, and there is no one panacea that I could recommend, nor would I be qualified), the most important thing you can do for yourself is to stay positive, hopeful, brave, and keep communicating with people about your mental state.
Adolescence is tough for most people, but there's no reason to discard other possible causes, such as your parents' divorce, genetics (anxiety & depression are genetically predisposed), or simply your dietary or social habits. The mind works in ways that we are not 100% conscious of, and you will probably have a much harder time trying to get through this on your own.
So go talk to someone!
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On October 11 2011 07:16 ClysmiC wrote:If you don't enjoy SC2 anymore, don't play it. My advice would be to try and find an emotional crutch. A psychiatrist or counselor can be really helpful, but nothing can replace a good friend. Hopefully you have some sort of friend that can be there for you and who can understand or at least listen to you vent about what you're going through. Obviously it's easier said than done, but I truly believe that that is the best road out of depression. I've had depression for the past few years myself and the worst part is not being able to have anyone who understands what it feels like... so I'm still looking for my crutch to lean on. It's the worst, I know. Another piece of advice: don't get into drugs, alcohol, or sex to make yourself feel better, because it just plain won't. I don't have any experience with any of those, and I am really thankful for that because I know that my depression could be a LOT worse if those things let it spiral out of control. This is also a fun read that made me feel better when I read it a while back. It's got some inspiring stuff too (even though it's from Cracked) http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-life-actually-does-get-better/
great post I feel alot like op some days and reading this does help
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It's cause you eat one meal a day.
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Yeah it sounds like depression and you should definitely talk to someone. There are also many hobbies out there that you can try that are more social. Try and meet some friends. My four most memorable times of my life when I felt happiest (in chronological order): 1. When I started playing Magic: the Gathering (~12 years old) and made some really good friends that I hung out with through college; 2. Senior year of high school where I became close with a few great friends and got a date to prom when I thought I had zero chance of it; 3. My last two years of engineering school where I joined the university's Tau Beta Pi engineering honor society chapter; 4. Meeting my eventual wife.
It'll happen for you. There were times where I felt similar to how you're feeling, but I was always lucky enough to find people to be around, and that helped me get through it. Good luck to you.
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Sir, this article just made my day. Thank you so much for linking it.
OP: There is so much good advice in this thread I feel like I can't even comment properly without echoing everyone else. When I was 16 I was extremely depressed. It was to the point where I became suicidal and just hated everything. I started going to therapy and that helped me a lot! Get out there and just try something new, listen to feel good music, and just distract your mind from negative thoughts. Exercise and eating healthy foods help too. I wish you luck ^^
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Thank you all ( I will write personal responces to each of you tomorrow when I have time)! I does mean a lot to me when others go out of their way to help another person out. This next week I will try all of your sugestions and write up another blog next week.
Ill try my best, have a great day guys!
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On October 11 2011 08:38 decafchicken wrote:
I hated life when i was 16 too. Since about 2 years after that i have never been happier. Find something you love and commit yourself too it. Fix your diet and start doing something physical. This alone is proven to improve your mood. Life gets better.
You should definitely try this because physical exercise of any kind makes a huge difference. At the same time, go ffind yourself a different therapist, and don't be afraid to keep switchin til you find one you trust. Depression isn't something to fuck around with, and if you've had it half your life, it's pretty safe to say it';s something that isn't going to be rectified on your own. Most of all, don't listen to the retards telling you to start smoking or whatever... or really, just have this thread closed because most people will give you shit advice and that's not what you need now
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Hey, I'm feeling in a similar situation right now. I'm 16 years old and also super underweight. Maybe that's because of my really good metabolism, or I'm asian, but either way, I'm really really tiny. I don't have very good people skills, and like you, am an introvert that prefers to work by myself. I know I would feel the same way as you do right now if there was not one thing that I think is different between our lives. I'm not even sure if this is allowed on TL, but I was born into a Christian family. I've been a Christian for my whole life. Just knowing that my God really loves me, cares for me, and is always with me. Might sound really cliche and it might seem like I'm trying to force a religion down your throat, but this is just the way I see it. You can interpret my post anyway you want, but I'm just letting you know that I have a lot more happiness and hope just because of this. Don't lose hope, it gets better
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Despite how unrealistic your goals may be, where do you truly wish to see yourself in 5 years? I think it starts off with that..for me, living means nothing without a dream.
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On October 11 2011 10:58 Steelavocado wrote:
Thank you all ( I will write personal responces to each of you tomorrow when I have time)! I does mean a lot to me when others go out of their way to help another person out. This next week I will try all of your sugestions and write up another blog next week.
Ill try my best, have a great day guys!
Glad we could be of help! I forgot to mention that during some of my darkest times I turned to an internet forum that I had made some friends on and it really helped. I felt I could really just spill my heart out and not worry too much about being judged and such. Odd thinking that I wouldn't be judged on the internet, but it worked out. In the same way that that site was there for me, I think TL can be here for you. It's a really great community (most of the time lol) and I think you'll find a lot of kindred spirits here.
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Man i remember when my parents split... Its hard man, if u need someone to talk to PM me and I will try to help as much as I can.
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I'm 22 and I've been unhappy for about 7-8 years.
I've got plenty of reasons to be happy but I'm not. Learned to live with it =D
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try to do something with your life . looking for a job would be a good step. or try to be an entrepreneur . change your lifestyle. eat more and go to the gym. etc. go out and do something.
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I know how you feel. It doesn't go away and at a point you just have to accept and understand that it is who you are and try to be positive.
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stay hungry stay foolish. look up steve jobs videos on youtube. its quite inspiring.
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Marshall Islands3404 Posts
I will be the first to relate and tell you that it is not as simple as eating more or going to the gym, your personality traits play a lot into this. Some people like you or me simply don't derive pleasure from anything or most things in life although I would never think of committing suicide and I hope you don't either. Just realize that people do care about you and you simply have to find ways to pass the time. It doesn't get better after high school either and I am in the same situation where my parents were divorced so you don't really see any point in trying to get a relationship I presume? If I am fairly accurate in these assessments feel free to PM me, been through this.
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Steelavocado, let me share my story and hope it helps.
For all my life, I've been pretty happy. I was the "funny guy" in school, an athlete and had pretty strong relationships. I also played in a band with my best friends for 5 years.
Then I went to college. I made friends there, but nothing was ever the same. After two years of college things started to change. My interest in EVERYTHING was gone. For the next 2-3 years I didn't write a single song, didn't play a single show, show any enthusiasm in meeting new people, going out, showing up for class or obtaining good grades.
There was literally weeks where I lied in bed... all day for 3 days in a row. I slept for about 14 hours a day. I gained about 20 lbs and was suspended from my university. My girlfriend of 4 years left me. And I didn't even care, at all. I couldn't feel excited for things, ever. I didn't look forward to anything.
My parents didn't realize it until they saw the letters of my suspension. Surprisingly enough, they were very sympathetic. They ordered me to return home and to see some doctors. I was put on Celexa, and eventually Prozac (because I had side effects with Celexa), and I didn't notice much.
Very, very gradually things started to come together for me. It wasn't like all the sudden "Wow I'm a different person!". I got a job in manufacturing and got in the routine of working 6am-3pm everyday. This routine was a strong backbone in my life. It got me being productive, and at 3pm everday I felt good that I had accomplished enough for the day and could relax. The evening was mine! Still, I was doing nothing in the evening.. but it wasn't looked down upon because I had worked all day.
Then, I began meeting people. I was able to make eye contact, hold a conversation and make steps to improve relationships. I bought a bike and enjoyed the weather casually while listening to music. I started to learn one important thing:
I still don't enjoy doing the things I used to love to do but I do find pleasure in more subtle things. I expanded on those subtle things. Reading, listening to music and watching movies. It's something everyone likes to do right? Well, it's something you have to relearn how to like if you are like us. You have to dig through movies/music/books you like. You have to have the right atmosphere and be in the right mood.
Pretty soon I found myself finishing a novel every other day.
After a year of work and self-thought. I now had a work ethic to go back to school. I did so and within 2 years I obtained a undergraduate degree in education. I am now in graduate school for literary teaching.
I still don't have the passion to write music. I still fail to become excited or hyped about things. When my phone runs out of batteries.. it's off for about 4 days+. I have deactivated my facebook and skype. The only thing I keep is TL.net because I do enjoy watching Starcraft 2 and reading about it.
Disconnect yourself from technology. Relearn your self-interests. Be open minded and never forget that you can always change. Don't force yourself to do things you once liked but don't enjoy anymore.
And finally
EAT HEALTHY. "Let food be thy medicine." Hypocrates. I will advocate and testify that eating fresh food makes me feel much, much, MUCH more enthusiastic and lively. A learning to cook is a great hobby to "knock out two birds with one stone".
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"Love yourself first, and everything will fall into line".
It's not as simple as that, though. You have to constantly motivate yourself everyday. Otherwise you will just be wasting your life. My dad is over 50 and I don't think he's happy with his life either. It doesn't magically get better, you have to force yourself out of the comfort zone. It will be really hard for you but remember: You only have one life. Try your best to enjoy it.
For temporary medicine: Play a sport.
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On October 11 2011 07:49 MattBarry wrote:
I recommend seeing a psychiatrist. I share your same problem almost down to every detail and I fixed it by taking stimulants. They make me feel alive and happy. Psychologists don't prescribe stuff so make sure it's a psychiatrist.
Edit: Fuck SSRIs though, if he tries to give you that then say no
what are you prescribed then?
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Why do you just eat once a day?
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On October 12 2011 02:06 DoublespeakUS wrote:
Steelavocado, let me share my story and hope it helps.
For all my life, I've been pretty happy. I was the "funny guy" in school, an athlete and had pretty strong relationships. I also played in a band with my best friends for 5 years.
Then I went to college. I made friends there, but nothing was ever the same. After two years of college things started to change. My interest in EVERYTHING was gone. For the next 2-3 years I didn't write a single song, didn't play a single show, show any enthusiasm in meeting new people, going out, showing up for class or obtaining good grades.
There was literally weeks where I lied in bed... all day for 3 days in a row. I slept for about 14 hours a day. I gained about 20 lbs and was suspended from my university. My girlfriend of 4 years left me. And I didn't even care, at all. I couldn't feel excited for things, ever. I didn't look forward to anything.
My parents didn't realize it until they saw the letters of my suspension. Surprisingly enough, they were very sympathetic. They ordered me to return home and to see some doctors. I was put on Celexa, and eventually Prozac (because I had side effects with Celexa), and I didn't notice much.
Very, very gradually things started to come together for me. It wasn't like all the sudden "Wow I'm a different person!". I got a job in manufacturing and got in the routine of working 6am-3pm everyday. This routine was a strong backbone in my life. It got me being productive, and at 3pm everday I felt good that I had accomplished enough for the day and could relax. The evening was mine! Still, I was doing nothing in the evening.. but it wasn't looked down upon because I had worked all day.
Then, I began meeting people. I was able to make eye contact, hold a conversation and make steps to improve relationships. I bought a bike and enjoyed the weather casually while listening to music. I started to learn one important thing:
I still don't enjoy doing the things I used to love to do but I do find pleasure in more subtle things. I expanded on those subtle things. Reading, listening to music and watching movies. It's something everyone likes to do right? Well, it's something you have to relearn how to like if you are like us. You have to dig through movies/music/books you like. You have to have the right atmosphere and be in the right mood.
Pretty soon I found myself finishing a novel every other day.
After a year of work and self-thought. I now had a work ethic to go back to school. I did so and within 2 years I obtained a undergraduate degree in education. I am now in graduate school for literary teaching.
I still don't have the passion to write music. I still fail to become excited or hyped about things. When my phone runs out of batteries.. it's off for about 4 days+. I have deactivated my facebook and skype. The only thing I keep is TL.net because I do enjoy watching Starcraft 2 and reading about it.
Disconnect yourself from technology. Relearn your self-interests. Be open minded and never forget that you can always change. Don't force yourself to do things you once liked but don't enjoy anymore.
And finally
EAT HEALTHY. "Let food be thy medicine." Hypocrates. I will advocate and testify that eating fresh food makes me feel much, much, MUCH more enthusiastic and lively. A learning to cook is a great hobby to "knock out two birds with one stone".
Wow, thank you for this post. I really need a grip now.
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EPT
