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I've always considered myself to be three things, in this order:
1. A writer,
2. A gamer,
3. Alcoholic.
I write for a living and I've been a gamer for as long as I can remember. The first video game I ever owned was Street Fighter and that shit was crazy good. I was only about seven years old at the time but just the idea of video games amazed me and I always thought they'd play a major role in my life.
Years later, cue age 14ish, I bought World of Warcraft. This put me in contact with other gamers, and it also got me active on the internet (and the internet led me to porn which led me to things which I cannot unsee) and I always found myself pressed up against this idea that I should "get a life". I had no idea what the fuck it meant. When I say I was a gamer, I mean stereotypical gamer. I would play World of Warcraft all day and all night, every free moment I had. I would fake sick, I would spend as little time with my family as possible and I barely had friends. I didn't really need them.
A little over a year later I kind of started to realize that the common ideology was that the way to live your life (and what people mean by "get a life" or "stop being such a nerd") is by going to clubs and meeting girls. And drinking. So I figured I'd give it a shot. I wasn't happy with the way my life was going. It was kind of like waking up one day and realizing you've done nothing for the last year and a half. It was fucking depressing. My e-friends quit World of Warcraft around the same time, all of us too afraid to check /played.
I don't really know how to describe what happened next. I was a fish out of water. I didn't know how to deal with the "outside" world. I was good at World of Warcraft, damn good, but all these things like talking to people, carrying yourself in a club, drinking, none of it made sense to me. The first guy I went out with was a douchebag. He always made himself out to be a player when he had no idea what he was doing. He was also a major wuss.
We were driving to a club and he'd just...keep driving, unable to find anything he'd want to do. When we eventually did he'd just text on his cellphone and if I asked if we were gonna talk to girls or be social he'd just say "All the girls here are ugly, hey." Fuck that guy.
Anyways, first few nights out with him were actually a major blow to me. I figured that video games were just as pointless as the whole teen-partying scene anyways and I wasn't wasting time. Gaming was the lesser of two evils, so to speak. I picked up World of Warcraft again, playing slowly at first before I picked up the pace. Three months later I decided that it had gotten out of hand and it was time to give a social life another shot.
It was a friend's birthday party. We went to a club. I danced. I didn't know how to dance and I was too scared to drink so it sucked, but it built up from there, and I had to do it on my own. I didn't have any friends who could teach me how to talk to people--not only girls, just meeting people you didn't know before. I didn't have friends who were willing to back me up if someone tried giving me trouble, so I took it all on my shoulders. I messed up a lot of conversations. I used some of the most ridiculously nerdy lines ever on women I was trying to hit on -- I should also mention at this point that I was 16 and in the height of puberty and had a face ravaged with acne, meaning I had to work twice as hard for people to take me seriously.
But I did it and I was really proud. I built up a pool of really good friends. I met really nice people, and I got good at talking. The point of sociality for me wasn't just meeting girls, it was the ability to just, talk and be myself. It was a huge learning curve as well, realizing that gay/cock jokes aren't as popular in real life as they are on the internet.
After that I was home-free. Going out to parties and clubs every weekend, drinking like a tank. I traded one addiction for another. I was off WoW but I couldn't go a week without a drink. Another year went by and I finally realized it, and this is what I mean by this whole post.
I'd become social. I was good at it. I was invited to birthdays or parties every night I had free, and I'd go to most of them. I was hopping bars, meeting women, living the life I'd kind of been "taught" I was supposed to live. Then I realized that the reason people tell you to "get a life" is because they think video games are a complete waste of time. Being someone who has rung through night life so vigorously, I can say with absolute certainty that it's no more a waste of time than the shitty club-phenomenon. I say clubs but I include house parties or whatever it is you teenagers are into these days.
It's actually a pretty awful scene to be mixed up in. I never met a gamer who was having sex with women in bathroom stalls at dodgy bars, but I can name ten Jocks who would brag about it. I've also got a big problem with the drinking mentality -- being happy about how wasted you got last night. This coming from an Irishman who peaked at drinking myself into a stupor most nights. I never got or gave a bloody nose before "getting a life" but my knuckle conditioning by the end of my stint made me look like the kind of douchebag who just goes looking for trouble.
That said, us gamers are a nice bunch. We give each other harsh words at times but that's as bad as it goes. When someone tells you to "get a life" or places you into some stereotypical clique all that they mean is they want you to live the sorry excuse for a life they have, which is really an ignorant existence spent drinking and experimenting with what they'll call recreational drugs in designated drinking and recreational drug zones. It sucks.
I'm not saying don't be social -- nothing wrong with a nice friend's birthday party or going overboard on beer once in a while, but all that it taught me was moderation.
I'll go out and meet my friends once a week or once every two weeks, but after trying out both sides of the spectrum I actually find myself enjoying those Friday nights to myself, laddering in Starcraft or writing a book I'll probably never publish.
How about you?
EDIT
Just so everyone understands, I've matured a lot and gotten much older from my 14-17 indecision between gaming and partying. As it stands now, I don't drink much but will have a couple every time I go out. I spend a good amount of time with friends and family, and my time in between I can use for video games. Despite all of that, gaming is the best thing ever. As long as you're not taking it overboard or sacrificing time with people close to you for it.
  
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Well, I make SC2 and things like SSBM and Magic my 'social' things. I hang out with friends and watch tournaments, we play SC2 together, go to Friday Night Magic... if it's really your passion, especially with games nowadays, it can definitely be a social life.
But I agree, 'partying' and the such is just as 'pointless'.
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kind of came to the same realization myself when i started college, maybe im just a nerd though.
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I think the keyword in that entire passage is moderation - if there's anything I've learned is that living your life in moderation is the key. If you spend all your time on videogames, then, as you've pointed out, you don't learn to interact with other people on a face-to-face basis. The trick to life is learning how to balance everything you want to do.
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On August 29 2011 01:35 Hailene wrote:
I think the keyword in that entire passage is moderation - if there's anything I've learned is that living your life in moderation is the key. If you spend all your time on videogames, then, as you've pointed out, you don't learn to interact with other people on a face-to-face basis. The trick to life is learning how to balance everything you want to do.
Pretty much this. Way too many people go overboard one direction. That said I think this exposes a pretty fatal flaw in people's mentality of life and what it's about.
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On August 29 2011 01:44 Shamrock_ wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2011 01:35 Hailene wrote:
I think the keyword in that entire passage is moderation - if there's anything I've learned is that living your life in moderation is the key. If you spend all your time on videogames, then, as you've pointed out, you don't learn to interact with other people on a face-to-face basis. The trick to life is learning how to balance everything you want to do. Pretty much this. Way too many people go overboard one direction. That said I think this exposes a pretty fatal flaw in people's mentality of life and what it's about.
Wrong. moderation = mediocrity. You wont achieve anything worth achieving by moderate
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Man, you should try a walk in parcs alone in the forest in a sunny days, I think you will be able to understand how awsome it is compared to going out and I agree your whole post.
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On August 29 2011 01:50 Klaca wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2011 01:44 Shamrock_ wrote:On August 29 2011 01:35 Hailene wrote:
I think the keyword in that entire passage is moderation - if there's anything I've learned is that living your life in moderation is the key. If you spend all your time on videogames, then, as you've pointed out, you don't learn to interact with other people on a face-to-face basis. The trick to life is learning how to balance everything you want to do. Pretty much this. Way too many people go overboard one direction. That said I think this exposes a pretty fatal flaw in people's mentality of life and what it's about. Wrong. moderation = mediocrity. You wont achieve anything worth achieving by moderate
Well that all depends what you're referring to. Drinking in excess doesn't make you a professional or good drinker. It makes you alcoholic. Playing video games all day doesn't make you a professional gamer. I've met loads of people who do it and they don't earn a dime.
On August 29 2011 01:50 osoup wrote:
Man, you should try a walk in parcs alone in the forest in a sunny days, I think you will be able to understand how awsome it is compared to going out and I agree your whole post.
Actually this is really true. I've started camping lately on weekends, it's really nice. Long hikes, stuff like that.
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I have some hope that I can do something else with my life than getting stuck in the alternative clubbing/playing video games.
As for socializing... A level 74 paladin isn't worth a real good and trusted friend.
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I never gamed THAT hardcore, but getting a 'life' was like the best thing I ever did. I don't binge drink or go clubbing that much, just like 4-8 beers a night.
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On August 29 2011 02:24 BouBou.865 wrote:
I never gamed THAT hardcore, but getting a 'life' was like the best thing I ever did. I don't binge drink or go clubbing that much, just like 4-8 beers a night.
Lol, 4-8 beers is quite a lot if it's something you do every night, but I'm not here to preach to people about how much they should be drinking. Do what works for you, but for me that means staying the fuck inside.
On August 29 2011 01:58 Biff The Understudy wrote:
I have some hope that I can do something else with my life than getting stuck in the alternative clubbing/playing video games.
As for socializing... A level 74 paladin isn't worth a real good and trusted friend.
Woah, woah. Bro. 74 Paladin is the bringer of light. If you don't think the bringer of light and justice is good for society then what are you even doing?
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i had a very similar experience to you but the thing is that neither of them are really right, what having a "life" means changes a lot after u get out of those teenage years and get into adulthood, then life becomes a whole lot more complicated and it stops being about "how am i gonna waste my free time today" to "i dont have freetime and i need to worry about how im going to stay alive"
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On August 29 2011 02:29 Keldrath wrote:
i had a very similar experience to you but the thing is that neither of them are really right, what having a "life" means changes a lot after u get out of those teenage years and get into adulthood, then life becomes a whole lot more complicated and it stops being about "how am i gonna waste my free time today" to "i dont have freetime and i need to worry about how im going to stay alive"
Yeah that's true. I've got a pretty good job and easy hours though so I still keep my free time, and I'm quite lucky in that respect. I read a lot on Cracked about life changing after 30 
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This summer I have not gone to the beach once, I have not been to a party since I was 9 (my buddy's B-Day) and I don't give a fuck about others. By the way, I have never drank a beer or anything like that, except that one time when I tried Martini Blanco, and FUCK does it taste like TREE. It really does.
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This is an issue that a lot of guys have to tackle, myself included. I'm in college now, and I have to say that most of the parties that I've been to have been pretty awesome, but there have been bad ones too of course. Personally I think a lot of guys are missing out on a lot of positive things by not hanging out with friends or going out once in a while, and you certainly don't have to get wasted every time you go out either. Two or three beers are just fine. I see a lot of guys using a lot alcohol as a crutch to try and gain confidence with the ladies, but in my opinion it doesn’t work most of the time, and if you get as far as the bedroom you encounter other problems as well  . Being comfortable in your own skin, getting ladies and being able to walk home afterwards relatively coherent is much better, healthier and cheaper.
Moderation is the key. If you feel like being home Friday night gaming, that's okay, but shutting yourself inside a room day in and day out is not good either physically or mentally. Likewise, going out several times a week is even worse. I think it's good to do a bit of both, sometimes you need to just collect yourself after a stressful week and just be home relaxing, other times you need to go out and socialize with people face to face. That said, you are young only once, and I think it’s worth to take some chances once in a while and go out of your comfort zone by going out.
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On August 29 2011 01:50 Klaca wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2011 01:44 Shamrock_ wrote:On August 29 2011 01:35 Hailene wrote:
I think the keyword in that entire passage is moderation - if there's anything I've learned is that living your life in moderation is the key. If you spend all your time on videogames, then, as you've pointed out, you don't learn to interact with other people on a face-to-face basis. The trick to life is learning how to balance everything you want to do. Pretty much this. Way too many people go overboard one direction. That said I think this exposes a pretty fatal flaw in people's mentality of life and what it's about. Wrong. moderation = mediocrity. You wont achieve anything worth achieving by moderate
Unlike getting into drunken brawls because you're unable to drink in moderation.
That's the true epitome of not being mediocre.
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On August 29 2011 02:42 vVvTime wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2011 01:50 Klaca wrote:On August 29 2011 01:44 Shamrock_ wrote:On August 29 2011 01:35 Hailene wrote:
I think the keyword in that entire passage is moderation - if there's anything I've learned is that living your life in moderation is the key. If you spend all your time on videogames, then, as you've pointed out, you don't learn to interact with other people on a face-to-face basis. The trick to life is learning how to balance everything you want to do. Pretty much this. Way too many people go overboard one direction. That said I think this exposes a pretty fatal flaw in people's mentality of life and what it's about. Wrong. moderation = mediocrity. You wont achieve anything worth achieving by moderate Unlike getting into drunken brawls because you're unable to drink in moderation. That's the true epitome of not being mediocre.
I'm so pro at drinking that I don't even get into drunken brawls, I just pass out.
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On August 29 2011 02:26 Shamrock_ wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2011 02:24 BouBou.865 wrote:
I never gamed THAT hardcore, but getting a 'life' was like the best thing I ever did. I don't binge drink or go clubbing that much, just like 4-8 beers a night. Lol, 4-8 beers is quite a lot if it's something you do every night, but I'm not here to preach to people about how much they should be drinking. Do what works for you, but for me that means staying the fuck inside. Show nested quote +On August 29 2011 01:58 Biff The Understudy wrote:
I have some hope that I can do something else with my life than getting stuck in the alternative clubbing/playing video games.
As for socializing... A level 74 paladin isn't worth a real good and trusted friend. Woah, woah. Bro. 74 Paladin is the bringer of light. If you don't think the bringer of light and justice is good for society then what are you even doing?
Hahaha 1/2 your post is serious and the other is troll, I love it
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On August 29 2011 02:42 TheVoice88 wrote:This is an issue that a lot of guys have to tackle, myself included. I'm in college now, and I have to say that most of the parties that I've been to have been pretty awesome, but there have been bad ones too of course. Personally I think a lot of guys are missing out on a lot of positive things by not hanging out with friends or going out once in a while, and you certainly don't have to get wasted every time you go out either. Two or three beers are just fine. I see a lot of guys using a lot alcohol as a crutch to try and gain confidence with the ladies, but in my opinion it doesn’t work most of the time, and if you get as far as the bedroom you encounter other problems as well . Being comfortable in your own skin, getting ladies and being able to walk home afterwards relatively coherent is much better, healthier and cheaper. Moderation is the key. If you feel like being home Friday night gaming, that's okay, but shutting yourself inside a room day in and day out is not good either physically or mentally. Likewise, going out several times a week is even worse. I think it's good to do a bit of both, sometimes you need to just collect yourself after a stressful week and just be home relaxing, other times you need to go out and socialize with people face to face. That said, you are young only once, and I think it’s worth to take some chances once in a while and go out of your comfort zone by going out.
Was going to basically say the same thing this guy said. Everything in moderation applies perfectly here. It sounds like you have quite an addictive personality, but are quite intelligent at the same time. This can make it tough to do things in moderation. Sitting inside day in and day out playing video games I would agree with the whole "get a life" thing. There is a lot more to experience in the world than as you put it "the lesser of two evils." Expand your vision of not what everyone else wants you to think life is supposed to be about, but what you think life should be about and how you would like to live.
I personally am college age (not attending atm), and I went through both the video game stage and the /drinking partying stage. And now I don't drink, smoke, party, I don't even eat fast food or drink anything but milk/water. I exercise, read, I play video games, go out with my friends (by go out I mean we often bike 20 ish miles and go to a beach or something), hang out with my family, and work. This is the way I enjoy living, I don't know the meaning to life and who is to say if what i'm doing is right/wrong or if drinking/gaming/partying is right or wrong. However, everything in moderation I think can lead to a certain amount of contentment and happiness.
Good luck with everything and I think you have a good head on your shoulders.
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Good read. It mirrors my own life fairly closely albeit in a different timeframe, although probably not to the extreme on either spectrum.
Im 25 now, so I think a fair bit older than you, but in my first few years of university I did nothing but the club scene, pub crawls, parties. Then for a while after i moved out of residence at university I did nothing but game (WoW). I quickly realized that i had more or less lost all of my friends both from my home town and university because I never went out, never called, and even when they did invite me out I would just make excuses to stay home (which I really regret now). It took me a long time to re-learn how to be social
Now I enjoy a nice mix, I spend the majority of my time at home, reading, writing and gaming, and I go out once or twice a week with friends for drinks, dinner or whatever is going on. Although I still have trouble making good friends (friends who I dont just hang out with on an occasional basis)
Like you, I really enjoy my nights alone at home (although my girlfriend doesnt =D) and just relaxing with a movie or video game. But I still enjoy the company of other people every once in a while. Ive also found that I really enjoy travel.
I find that because I did the bar scene so much, that I absolutely despise it now. I dont mind going out for drinks with buddies to a pub where you can get food and drinks and hear each other talk. But the club scene is lost to me, I absolutly hate it and cant stand to be in one of those places. For a while I was really down on myself for letting it get to that point where I was so anti social.
In the end, I realized that a gamer was just part of my life, no different than a person who loves sports or UFC or anything else. Its not bad, its just different. The sooner I learned not to get down on myself about being a gamer i really started to enjoy it more again, and while I might not have some of the 'Wild" experiences of others, I do have enough to make it regret free.
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EPT
