EPTbuy some pepper spray tho
[Q&A] Girls/Relationships - Page 18
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Rekrul
Korea (South)17174 Posts
buy some pepper spray tho | ||
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supaplex
United States75 Posts
On September 12 2011 07:46 iamahydralisk wrote: The following is just a bit of a rant post about someone else's relationship. Alright so, I'm in college and one of the classes I'm taking is a 1-credit class where they pair you up with foreign students and help them with their English. Basically, the entire point of the class is to hang out with them, so that's pretty cool. Anyway, one of the people in the class is this Japanese girl. She seemed pretty nice and we hit it off pretty well, so I got her number and asked her if she wanted to hang out with me sometime. She said yeah. A few days later, I texted her and asked her if she wanted to go to a movie. She replied and told me she couldn't because her boyfriend wouldn't be okay with it and the last time her boyfriend caught her hanging out with another guy, the boyfriend broke the guy's arm. Then she told me that she actually got in trouble with her boyfriend because of the texts. Let's go over everything that's wrong with this situation: 1. She gave me her number and said yes to hanging out, and she was obviously lying. 2. Her boyfriend obviously has huge anger issues if he broke some poor guy's arm for hanging out with this girl. 3. He reads her texts. Like seriously, wtf? The reason I'm posting this is because I can't understand why anyone would put themselves in a relationship as obviously unhealthy as this one. The guy is obviously a huge control freak with major anger issues... Why the hell is she sticking around? If he hasn't already, it's only a matter of time before he loses his temper with her and hits her or something. I want to say something to her... Like, tell her she needs to run and fast, but I don't know her well enough to say anything about it :/ Pfft,shes just testing you bro to see if youre a pussy or not. Be like - yo let me see this gorilla boyfriend of yours, he might need a lesson in american etiquette. Things will work out | ||
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supaplex
United States75 Posts
On September 12 2011 11:13 Rekrul wrote: save her hydralisk buy some pepper spray tho rofl | ||
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3Form
United Kingdom389 Posts
On September 12 2011 10:48 supaplex wrote: Dont you feel ridiculous when you 'open' with a preplanned line that makes you sound special and every next sentense you say proves how much of a demented sick nerd you are? I would kill myself from all this awkwardness or just scream 'Im retarded' and run away laughing hysterically. Im too old to be embarrassed anymore but dont give this advice to someone who hasnt spoken to a woman outside his house yet. I'd be tempted to back supaplex here. Conversation I recently witnessed: Boy: So where are you from? Girl: Vietnam Boy: Oh! I really want to go there, it's a beautiful country, my favourite! Girl: I live in the capital Boy: Ohh... I don't know the capital. Girl: It's Hanoi You'll just dig yourself into a hole. If you are indifferent to her necklace then don't tell her you "really like it", It'll just sound creepy and any girl/lady/woman worth talking to will see straight through it. Kind've hard to put into words what I really want to say, but I think you'd be better off thinking about the situation in which you are meeting this girl, be it in a lecture, at a party, round a friend's house, down the pub, etc. Rather than arbitrarily picking a topic before the person you're going to have a conversation with. Basically I suppose that when you first meet someone, the only thing you know you both have in common is that situation in which you've just met, if you see what I mean. Conversation stems from common points of interest. Don't create artificial ones! | ||
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3Form
United Kingdom389 Posts
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iamahydralisk
United States813 Posts
On September 12 2011 11:06 StorkHwaiting wrote: You know it's rude in Japanese culture to say no right? You should probably have asked if she had a bf first instead of immediately trying to blame her or making any assumptions about her bf. First of all, I already have a girlfriend so I wasn't looking for anything more than friends. I never mentioned dating or anything. There's nothing wrong with having a purely friendly relationship with someone of the opposite sex if you're in a committed relationship with someone. Secondly, the entire point of this class is to meet people and hang out. I'm not even kidding. Passing the class relies entirely on logging enough hours with the foreign students, so I don't understand why she'd be in the class or say yes if she has such a batshit insane boyfriend. And finally, any guy who won't even let his girlfriend hang out with other guys has issues. Call it an assumption if you will, but I'd say most people would agree that that's completely fucked up. I don't care enough to actually meet the guy and try to help her out because I know I'd probably just end up making things worse. She's apparently happy with him even though he seems to be controlling her life, to some extent. | ||
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iamahydralisk
United States813 Posts
On September 12 2011 11:36 3Form wrote: I'd be tempted to back supaplex here. Conversation I recently witnessed: Boy: So where are you from? Girl: Vietnam Boy: Oh! I really want to go there, it's a beautiful country, my favourite! Girl: I live in the capital Boy: Ohh... I don't know the capital. Girl: It's Hanoi You'll just dig yourself into a hole. If you are indifferent to her necklace then don't tell her you "really like it", It'll just sound creepy and any girl/lady/woman worth talking to will see straight through it. Kind've hard to put into words what I really want to say, but I think you'd be better off thinking about the situation in which you are meeting this girl, be it in a lecture, at a party, round a friend's house, down the pub, etc. Rather than arbitrarily picking a topic before the person you're going to have a conversation with. Basically I suppose that when you first meet someone, the only thing you know you both have in common is that situation in which you've just met, if you see what I mean. Conversation stems from common points of interest. Don't create artificial ones! I wouldn't actually use an opening line unless I meant it. That way, it comes across as natural. It's not hard to find something you can compliment a pretty girl on, so initiating a convo naturally is pretty easy. | ||
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On September 12 2011 13:44 iamahydralisk wrote: First of all, I already have a girlfriend so I wasn't looking for anything more than friends. I never mentioned dating or anything. There's nothing wrong with having a purely friendly relationship with someone of the opposite sex if you're in a committed relationship with someone. Secondly, the entire point of this class is to meet people and hang out. I'm not even kidding. Passing the class relies entirely on logging enough hours with the foreign students, so I don't understand why she'd be in the class or say yes if she has such a batshit insane boyfriend. And finally, any guy who won't even let his girlfriend hang out with other guys has issues. Call it an assumption if you will, but I'd say most people would agree that that's completely fucked up. I don't care enough to actually meet the guy and try to help her out because I know I'd probably just end up making things worse. She's apparently happy with him even though he seems to be controlling her life, to some extent. You don't seem to understand there are a multitude of social norms on planet Earth. Perhaps you should work on understanding the concept. I promise it'll help you in life much more than this class you're so worried about. | ||
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iamahydralisk
United States813 Posts
On September 12 2011 14:51 StorkHwaiting wrote: You don't seem to understand there are a multitude of social norms on planet Earth. Perhaps you should work on understanding the concept. I promise it'll help you in life much more than this class you're so worried about. lol. what point are you even trying to make? that being an insane controlling douchetard is somehow okay? I don't care what culture you're from. controlling your girlfriend's social life and actually seriously injuring some guy for being friends with her is completely and utterly fucked up, and it suggests that this guy has major anger issues. | ||
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Rekrul
Korea (South)17174 Posts
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Hassybaby
United Kingdom10823 Posts
On September 12 2011 11:36 3Form wrote: I'd be tempted to back supaplex here. Conversation I recently witnessed: Boy: So where are you from? Girl: Vietnam Boy: Oh! I really want to go there, it's a beautiful country, my favourite! Girl: I live in the capital Boy: Ohh... I don't know the capital. Girl: It's Hanoi You'll just dig yourself into a hole. If you are indifferent to her necklace then don't tell her you "really like it", It'll just sound creepy and any girl/lady/woman worth talking to will see straight through it. Kind've hard to put into words what I really want to say, but I think you'd be better off thinking about the situation in which you are meeting this girl, be it in a lecture, at a party, round a friend's house, down the pub, etc. Rather than arbitrarily picking a topic before the person you're going to have a conversation with. Basically I suppose that when you first meet someone, the only thing you know you both have in common is that situation in which you've just met, if you see what I mean. Conversation stems from common points of interest. Don't create artificial ones! I was never suggesting a pre-planned opening line. Those were just examples that I thought of from the top of my head. You've basically said what I wanted to suggest, but just said it in a way that people understand  And, to cover supaplex's point. You're damn right it'll be embarrassing the first few times. But that's what you have to get over, and you're never going get over it by not doing it. I'm not suggesting that you pick a stupid subject that you have completely no idea about. I'm suggesting you pick A topic. Not going any further than that. Fill the blank in with whatever you feel is right/ you are comfortable with at the time. But be prepared to be embarrassed, because making a dick of yourself is going to happen, and that's part of the way to getting more confident and know how to approach situations better. | ||
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Hassybaby
United Kingdom10823 Posts
On September 12 2011 09:45 Rokusha wrote: So, my GF of 2 years officially broke up with me for good. The past two years were very volatile with a lot of break ups and then making up. It was my first legit relationship and I can admit that it was shitty but I didn't mind the bad times because when I was with her everything was... I just felt right and at home and peaceful. I never had someone who I had that type of deep connection with. I had so much fun and was so happy with her. There were a few problems on both sides, she would drink a lot and see her ex's (because they would guilt her heavily) and would act crazy (her friend was raped, some of her family have cancer,etc). First time I ended it with her, but we got back together and she continued to work on her problems and better herself. Then comes Sophmore year of college, and I became distant and mean and would hurt her feelings by saying terrible shit to her. I don't know why I did this but I think it was because I was losing interest in her. When she had enough and broke up with me, my world crashed down. I drank a lot and put my friends through a lot of shit. She still had feelings for me and even though we were broken up we would text and stuff. This went on for several months until the spring when she decided she would give me one last chance. The spring of sophmore year, I don't even remember much of what we did. We would hang out and chill but we didn't hang out as much as we did the first year of our relationship. I was so grateful when she took me back but as soon as she did I became complacent. The summer rolled around and she lived 3 hrs away from me and we both worked. We only saw each other twice but texted a lot. I don't know why but I would stop answering her when she called and I would never really ask her about her feelings and all that jazz. It was kind of like when I wasn't seeing her physically everyday, she stopped mattering a whole lot. I took her for granted and assumed she would just be there for my junior year. I thought I loved her but If I really did I wouldn't put her through so much shit would I? I would have answered her phone calls, I would have asked her how her life was, I would have gone the extra step to be more involved with her. When she asked me this, there was nothing I could say back because it was true. That's when it ended. She was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I fucked it up. But trying to think logically, she obviously wasn't the right one if I did do all that shit to her continually for most of our relationship... But it still hurts and it sucks. I miss her. I miss texting her. I miss her voice and hanging out with her. I guess I am not really looking for advice. Just needed to vent to someone..... thanks Erm...well... You gave yourself advice, just stick to it next time. can't really add to that. Therefore, when it does happen next time, post in the thread, and we'll chain-link what you said here, so you Never. Forget Ever | ||
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
hydralisk, you should honestly take a moment to cool off, sip some coffee and look at this situation again. StorkHwaiting's got a good point. Perhaps there are good reasons for the way things are - who knows if the girl has a nasty history and the guy's doing his best to keep her from straying off again? Also, to some degree, xenophobia may be in play. At this point, you're still some random stranger who suddenly established a connection through class whereas her boyfriend... is a boyfriend. If it's that direly important you hang out with her alone then I guess you'll have to confront her boyfriend about it. I mean, class being that important to you, why not just hang out with the two of them, or bring your girlfriend along for a double date? | ||
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Hassybaby
United Kingdom10823 Posts
On September 12 2011 11:13 Rekrul wrote: save her hydralisk buy some pepper spray tho The way the b/f sounds, buy a baseball bat and some tasers | ||
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EiNiS
Sweden72 Posts
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Cycle
United States300 Posts
On September 12 2011 23:19 EiNiS wrote: How do i stop worrying about my gf? I mean if she doesn't answer a text within 15min i start getting worried and sometimes even call her. I want to be less needy but i love her so much :3. Also: how do I act around my girlfriend in school? It's so weird I actually didn't hang out with my girlfriend at school, like at all. She had her friends and I had mine, and we met up every once in a while to chat, but that was it at school. If she's part of your group of friends, I think act around her how you always act around her. It's probably different from how you usually act around your other friends right (otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question/I was the same way ), but imo it's more important that you be how you are in a way that makes her comfortable first.As for not worrying, I was also in the same situation. What I did was first just to not physically do anything like call/text back every 15 min or so, and try to occupy my mind with other things like school or video games so I wouldn't be worrying or anything all the time. Trust is important and I think trust should be included in love. ^^ | ||
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EiNiS
Sweden72 Posts
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On September 12 2011 15:09 iamahydralisk wrote: lol. what point are you even trying to make? that being an insane controlling douchetard is somehow okay? I don't care what culture you're from. controlling your girlfriend's social life and actually seriously injuring some guy for being friends with her is completely and utterly fucked up, and it suggests that this guy has major anger issues. Good luck with life. | ||
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
On September 12 2011 23:46 EiNiS wrote: Thank you for the quick answer  The problem is that we go to the same class and have a lot of mutual friends. School is however not a place for romance but for learing, and whenever I try to talk with her in school all my friends leaves us alone in order to give us some "private time". This bothers my gf as she thinks that we should be able to hang out with the others like we did before we got together. My only goal is to make everything to good for her, but I always try to hard and make her uncomfortable with my worrying. The problem is not trust, I know for sure that she loves me, but I can't get the thought that I've done something wrong out of my head. Losing her would be the biggest failure in my life. The only thing wrong with our relationship is my worrying You have a valid concern there. Being "alienated" because of the relationship status is a recipe for failure in the long run. When friends ditch you two saying "here we'll make room for you two, have a hot private time" it's usually in jest, maybe you two are too intimate? You have to assert yourself as her boyfriend but avoid being a douche at the same time. Blatantly intense PDA is usually not acceptable when with friends, as you should all just hang out "as friends". Still, you should make your girlfriend feel special (because of course, to you, she is the most special person in the world!). Play along with the crowd, take a moment to be playfully romantic, you know, the sort that will make the crowd "d'awww." Really hard to describe in words, yeah. Don't think too hard, don't make up stuff or act unnatural. Be confident and honest! | ||
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iamahydralisk
United States813 Posts
On September 12 2011 21:37 OpticalShot wrote: This blog is back to life? Weeheeee!! hydralisk, you should honestly take a moment to cool off, sip some coffee and look at this situation again. StorkHwaiting's got a good point. Perhaps there are good reasons for the way things are - who knows if the girl has a nasty history and the guy's doing his best to keep her from straying off again? Also, to some degree, xenophobia may be in play. At this point, you're still some random stranger who suddenly established a connection through class whereas her boyfriend... is a boyfriend. If it's that direly important you hang out with her alone then I guess you'll have to confront her boyfriend about it. I mean, class being that important to you, why not just hang out with the two of them, or bring your girlfriend along for a double date? it's not important to me at all bro. I don't even care because there are plenty of other people in the class I can hang out with, and passing the class isn't as important to me as meeting new people. I was simply amazed at how this girl is happy with a relationship that's pretty obviously unhealthy if it's controlling her life. I dunno about you, but I don't care that much about my girlfriend having guy friends because I trust her not to do anything stupid. and also, if you can come up with some good reasons for a guy being so insane that he controls his girlfriend's entire social life AND actually breaks some dude's arm just for hanging out with her, I'd love to hear them. | ||
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