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So, I met this guy a few months back. He seems to be a bit of a nutter, obsessed with carrots and penguins, but he's rather attractive (everyone we run into tries to throws their arms and bodies at him constantly). He seems like a big shot around town, thinking he's number 1, but always makes time to give advice and compliments to me, a young naive blonde. He calls me a "qtpie" on a daily basis and seems to hint extremely unsubtly to have an interest in a more physical relationship.
Which is all fine, the crux of the problem is that he is married. Although he and his wife are essentially separated (In all the time we spend together everyday, I've only seen her once or twice briefly) I still feel it would be against my moral code to indulge in a more physical relationship. However, on the other hand, he cuts such a dashing figure it gets harder every day to resist his impressive guns. I feel like cupid, bow drawn and ready to fire an arrow full of love, lust and desire deep into his crystal heart and show that the defense it offers is nothing against my own energized passion.
It is hard to tell just how much there is between us. I feel like I am still coming to know and understand him and it's entirely possible that spending just one night together in a 4 walled cube could completely reset any potential between us. Added to this, I feel that the relationship is somewhat one sided with me constantly requiring his help with the everyday quests and pursuits of advancing myself both physically and with my new 4th job.
So, I'm asking for advice, preferable from OpticalShot on how I should proceed as I feel only he can truly understand the situation I'm in. Thanks in advance.
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On September 06 2011 02:23 Nunger wrote:
So, I met this guy a few months back. He seems to be a bit of a nutter, obsessed with carrots and penguins, but he's rather attractive (everyone we run into tries to throws their arms and bodies at him constantly). He seems like a big shot around town, thinking he's number 1, but always makes time to give advice and compliments to me, a young naive blonde. He calls me a "qtpie" on a daily basis and seems to hint extremely unsubtly to have an interest in a more physical relationship.
Which is all fine, the crux of the problem is that he is married. Although he and his wife are essentially separated (In all the time we spend together everyday, I've only seen her once or twice briefly) I still feel it would be against my moral code to indulge in a more physical relationship. However, on the other hand, he cuts such a dashing figure it gets harder every day to resist his impressive guns. I feel like cupid, bow drawn and ready to fire an arrow full of love, lust and desire deep into his crystal heart and show that the defense it offers is nothing against my own energized passion.
It is hard to tell just how much there is between us. I feel like I am still coming to know and understand him and it's entirely possible that spending just one night together in a 4 walled cube could completely reset any potential between us. Added to this, I feel that the relationship is somewhat one sided with me constantly requiring his help with the everyday quests and pursuits of advancing myself both physically and with my new 4th job.
So, I'm asking for advice, preferable from OpticalShot on how I should proceed as I feel only he can truly understand the situation I'm in. Thanks in advance.
You should follow that gut feeling of yours and throw yourself into the lion's den. I'm sure if you concentrate, those sharp eyes of yours will help you realize that he's interested in you too. According to your post, you're quite the strong and dexterous person and he probably feels the same fawning affection as you do towards him. It's time to fire that cupid's arrow right at his dark figure and let it hit him like a hurricane.
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I would like to go out on a date with this girl. I've only met her in person once or twice through a common music interest. I wanna strike her up on a date, but with the lack of actual socializing between us I honestly have no idea where to start from. tips?
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This one's a little different. But what do you do when you're wearing basketball shorts, she goes to hug you and stuff, and you're a bit happy?
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On September 11 2011 13:36 Dalguno wrote:
This one's a little different. But what do you do when you're wearing basketball shorts, she goes to hug you and stuff, and you're a bit happy?
LOL
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On September 11 2011 13:36 Dalguno wrote:
This one's a little different. But what do you do when you're wearing basketball shorts, she goes to hug you and stuff, and you're a bit happy?
dont wear basketball shorts heres my advice get a fringe haircut wear skinny jeans metalcore band shirts dye your hair black start going out with girls in middle school they wont even notice or care abotu that kinda stuff bru thank me later
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On September 11 2011 13:36 Dalguno wrote:
This one's a little different. But what do you do when you're wearing basketball shorts, she goes to hug you and stuff, and you're a bit happy?
Waistband tuck.
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United Kingdom10823 Posts
On September 11 2011 13:34 Lemonayd wrote:
I would like to go out on a date with this girl. I've only met her in person once or twice through a common music interest. I wanna strike her up on a date, but with the lack of actual socializing between us I honestly have no idea where to start from. tips?
Use said common music interest to meet her again, talk to her and ask her out. There's no real tip that can be given, just ask her.
On September 11 2011 13:36 Dalguno wrote:
This one's a little different. But what do you do when you're wearing basketball shorts, she goes to hug you and stuff, and you're a bit happy?
Definite waistband tuck there. That or get a sweatband normally sued for your head, and place it around your waist. Not comfortable, but its an option.
Or go to the bathroom with a bottle of cold water, and pour
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On September 11 2011 13:36 Dalguno wrote:
This one's a little different. But what do you do when you're wearing basketball shorts, she goes to hug you and stuff, and you're a bit happy?
Whitey-Tighties. Problem solved.
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Allright so for myself i'm terrible at starting conversations with girls especially. The farthest I can get is saying hi and then anyfarther from there and it's all luck. Whenever I am interested in a girl and think about talking to her some more and seeing if I actually like her, I can never do that because I don't know how to start convorsations. So I could really use some advice on how to start conversations with girls. After that I'm fine it's just getting over that innatial period of not knowing each other and actually making her want to talk to me, and not thinking that i'm weird for trying to talk to her. Hopefully someone can help me out with this.
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The following is just a bit of a rant post about someone else's relationship.
Alright so, I'm in college and one of the classes I'm taking is a 1-credit class where they pair you up with foreign students and help them with their English. Basically, the entire point of the class is to hang out with them, so that's pretty cool. Anyway, one of the people in the class is this Japanese girl. She seemed pretty nice and we hit it off pretty well, so I got her number and asked her if she wanted to hang out with me sometime. She said yeah.
A few days later, I texted her and asked her if she wanted to go to a movie. She replied and told me she couldn't because her boyfriend wouldn't be okay with it and the last time her boyfriend caught her hanging out with another guy, the boyfriend broke the guy's arm. Then she told me that she actually got in trouble with her boyfriend because of the texts. Let's go over everything that's wrong with this situation:
1. She gave me her number and said yes to hanging out, and she was obviously lying.
2. Her boyfriend obviously has huge anger issues if he broke some poor guy's arm for hanging out with this girl.
3. He reads her texts. Like seriously, wtf?
The reason I'm posting this is because I can't understand why anyone would put themselves in a relationship as obviously unhealthy as this one. The guy is obviously a huge control freak with major anger issues... Why the hell is she sticking around? If he hasn't already, it's only a matter of time before he loses his temper with her and hits her or something. I want to say something to her... Like, tell her she needs to run and fast, but I don't know her well enough to say anything about it :/
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United Kingdom10823 Posts
On September 12 2011 04:12 JMC4 wrote:
Allright so for myself i'm terrible at starting conversations with girls especially. The farthest I can get is saying hi and then anyfarther from there and it's all luck. Whenever I am interested in a girl and think about talking to her some more and seeing if I actually like her, I can never do that because I don't know how to start convorsations. So I could really use some advice on how to start conversations with girls. After that I'm fine it's just getting over that innatial period of not knowing each other and actually making her want to talk to me, and not thinking that i'm weird for trying to talk to her. Hopefully someone can help me out with this.
Pick something that's related to her, and start the conversation about that. She reading a book? Talk to her about that. Notice a necklace? Start from there. Doesn't really matter what the topic is (though if its something you know a decent amount about, or something you genuinely wanna find out, obviously lean towards that) as long as you start talking to her. After the initial conversation, you can steer towards other areas like introductions
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United Kingdom10823 Posts
On September 12 2011 07:46 iamahydralisk wrote:
The following is just a bit of a rant post about someone else's relationship.
Alright so, I'm in college and one of the classes I'm taking is a 1-credit class where they pair you up with foreign students and help them with their English. Basically, the entire point of the class is to hang out with them, so that's pretty cool. Anyway, one of the people in the class is this Japanese girl. She seemed pretty nice and we hit it off pretty well, so I got her number and asked her if she wanted to hang out with me sometime. She said yeah.
A few days later, I texted her and asked her if she wanted to go to a movie. She replied and told me she couldn't because her boyfriend wouldn't be okay with it and the last time her boyfriend caught her hanging out with another guy, the boyfriend broke the guy's arm. Then she told me that she actually got in trouble with her boyfriend because of the texts. Let's go over everything that's wrong with this situation:
1. She gave me her number and said yes to hanging out, and she was obviously lying.
2. Her boyfriend obviously has huge anger issues if he broke some poor guy's arm for hanging out with this girl.
3. He reads her texts. Like seriously, wtf?
The reason I'm posting this is because I can't understand why anyone would put themselves in a relationship as obviously unhealthy as this one. The guy is obviously a huge control freak with major anger issues... Why the hell is she sticking around? If he hasn't already, it's only a matter of time before he loses his temper with her and hits her or something. I want to say something to her... Like, tell her she needs to run and fast, but I don't know her well enough to say anything about it :/
Dammit Hydra, every time I see you'er the last one who's posted in this thread, I think "oh God, this guy can't catch a break."
What does your conscience say? If you think you should say something, say something. I wouldn't send a text, for obvious reasons, so face to face would be better. You can't really do much more than that though, just be a friend if something happens.
Love is blind, drunk, and a bit mentally slow. Who knows how the hell it works,,,,,
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United States207 Posts
So, my GF of 2 years officially broke up with me for good. The past two years were very volatile with a lot of break ups and then making up. It was my first legit relationship and I can admit that it was shitty but I didn't mind the bad times because when I was with her everything was... I just felt right and at home and peaceful. I never had someone who I had that type of deep connection with. I had so much fun and was so happy with her. There were a few problems on both sides, she would drink a lot and see her ex's (because they would guilt her heavily) and would act crazy (her friend was raped, some of her family have cancer,etc). First time I ended it with her, but we got back together and she continued to work on her problems and better herself.
Then comes Sophmore year of college, and I became distant and mean and would hurt her feelings by saying terrible shit to her. I don't know why I did this but I think it was because I was losing interest in her. When she had enough and broke up with me, my world crashed down. I drank a lot and put my friends through a lot of shit. She still had feelings for me and even though we were broken up we would text and stuff. This went on for several months until the spring when she decided she would give me one last chance.
The spring of sophmore year, I don't even remember much of what we did. We would hang out and chill but we didn't hang out as much as we did the first year of our relationship. I was so grateful when she took me back but as soon as she did I became complacent. The summer rolled around and she lived 3 hrs away from me and we both worked. We only saw each other twice but texted a lot. I don't know why but I would stop answering her when she called and I would never really ask her about her feelings and all that jazz. It was kind of like when I wasn't seeing her physically everyday, she stopped mattering a whole lot. I took her for granted and assumed she would just be there for my junior year.
I thought I loved her but If I really did I wouldn't put her through so much shit would I? I would have answered her phone calls, I would have asked her how her life was, I would have gone the extra step to be more involved with her. When she asked me this, there was nothing I could say back because it was true. That's when it ended.
She was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I fucked it up. But trying to think logically, she obviously wasn't the right one if I did do all that shit to her continually for most of our relationship... But it still hurts and it sucks. I miss her. I miss texting her. I miss her voice and hanging out with her.
I guess I am not really looking for advice. Just needed to vent to someone..... thanks
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On September 12 2011 08:04 Hassybaby wrote:Show nested quote +On September 12 2011 04:12 JMC4 wrote:
Allright so for myself i'm terrible at starting conversations with girls especially. The farthest I can get is saying hi and then anyfarther from there and it's all luck. Whenever I am interested in a girl and think about talking to her some more and seeing if I actually like her, I can never do that because I don't know how to start convorsations. So I could really use some advice on how to start conversations with girls. After that I'm fine it's just getting over that innatial period of not knowing each other and actually making her want to talk to me, and not thinking that i'm weird for trying to talk to her. Hopefully someone can help me out with this. Pick something that's related to her, and start the conversation about that. She reading a book? Talk to her about that. Notice a necklace? Start from there. Doesn't really matter what the topic is (though if its something you know a decent amount about, or something you genuinely wanna find out, obviously lean towards that) as long as you start talking to her. After the initial conversation, you can steer towards other areas like introductions
ok so like how do you start that conversation. I need like an example of the dialouge that you would use here. I know it seems like common sense but i'm really lost at even what to say.
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On September 12 2011 10:06 JMC4 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 12 2011 08:04 Hassybaby wrote:On September 12 2011 04:12 JMC4 wrote:
Allright so for myself i'm terrible at starting conversations with girls especially. The farthest I can get is saying hi and then anyfarther from there and it's all luck. Whenever I am interested in a girl and think about talking to her some more and seeing if I actually like her, I can never do that because I don't know how to start convorsations. So I could really use some advice on how to start conversations with girls. After that I'm fine it's just getting over that innatial period of not knowing each other and actually making her want to talk to me, and not thinking that i'm weird for trying to talk to her. Hopefully someone can help me out with this. Pick something that's related to her, and start the conversation about that. She reading a book? Talk to her about that. Notice a necklace? Start from there. Doesn't really matter what the topic is (though if its something you know a decent amount about, or something you genuinely wanna find out, obviously lean towards that) as long as you start talking to her. After the initial conversation, you can steer towards other areas like introductions ok so like how do you start that conversation. I need like an example of the dialouge that you would use here. I know it seems like common sense but i'm really lost at even what to say.
Going with the necklace example... something like "Hey, I really like your necklace." Assuming she responds positively, you introduce yourself and go from there.
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On September 12 2011 10:16 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On September 12 2011 10:06 JMC4 wrote:On September 12 2011 08:04 Hassybaby wrote:On September 12 2011 04:12 JMC4 wrote:
Allright so for myself i'm terrible at starting conversations with girls especially. The farthest I can get is saying hi and then anyfarther from there and it's all luck. Whenever I am interested in a girl and think about talking to her some more and seeing if I actually like her, I can never do that because I don't know how to start convorsations. So I could really use some advice on how to start conversations with girls. After that I'm fine it's just getting over that innatial period of not knowing each other and actually making her want to talk to me, and not thinking that i'm weird for trying to talk to her. Hopefully someone can help me out with this. Pick something that's related to her, and start the conversation about that. She reading a book? Talk to her about that. Notice a necklace? Start from there. Doesn't really matter what the topic is (though if its something you know a decent amount about, or something you genuinely wanna find out, obviously lean towards that) as long as you start talking to her. After the initial conversation, you can steer towards other areas like introductions ok so like how do you start that conversation. I need like an example of the dialouge that you would use here. I know it seems like common sense but i'm really lost at even what to say. Going with the necklace example... something like "Hey, I really like your necklace." Assuming she responds positively, you introduce yourself and go from there.
I like your shoes. Wanna fuck?
No. Skip the necklace. All i can say try to not plan out your convos, its moronic and you will hit the wall eventually. If you actually walked up to someone and said - listen, I'm not good with the small talk but youre making me try or something like that youd score a lot more points,just by being honest.
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On September 12 2011 10:30 supaplex wrote:Show nested quote +On September 12 2011 10:16 iamahydralisk wrote:On September 12 2011 10:06 JMC4 wrote:On September 12 2011 08:04 Hassybaby wrote:On September 12 2011 04:12 JMC4 wrote:
Allright so for myself i'm terrible at starting conversations with girls especially. The farthest I can get is saying hi and then anyfarther from there and it's all luck. Whenever I am interested in a girl and think about talking to her some more and seeing if I actually like her, I can never do that because I don't know how to start convorsations. So I could really use some advice on how to start conversations with girls. After that I'm fine it's just getting over that innatial period of not knowing each other and actually making her want to talk to me, and not thinking that i'm weird for trying to talk to her. Hopefully someone can help me out with this. Pick something that's related to her, and start the conversation about that. She reading a book? Talk to her about that. Notice a necklace? Start from there. Doesn't really matter what the topic is (though if its something you know a decent amount about, or something you genuinely wanna find out, obviously lean towards that) as long as you start talking to her. After the initial conversation, you can steer towards other areas like introductions ok so like how do you start that conversation. I need like an example of the dialouge that you would use here. I know it seems like common sense but i'm really lost at even what to say. Going with the necklace example... something like "Hey, I really like your necklace." Assuming she responds positively, you introduce yourself and go from there. I like your shoes. Wanna fuck? No. Skip the necklace. All i can say try to not plan out your convos, its moronic and you will hit the wall eventually. If you actually walked up to someone and said - listen, I'm not good with the small talk but youre making me try or something like that youd score a lot more points,just by being honest.
Having good opener lines and planning your convos out are two entirely different things. It's a good idea to have good ways to initiate conversations... not a good idea to try to plan the whole thing.
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Dont you feel ridiculous when you 'open' with a preplanned line that makes you sound special and every next sentense you say proves how much of a demented sick nerd you are? I would kill myself from all this awkwardness or just scream 'Im retarded' and run away laughing hysterically. Im too old to be embarrassed anymore but dont give this advice to someone who hasnt spoken to a woman outside his house yet.
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On September 12 2011 07:46 iamahydralisk wrote:
The following is just a bit of a rant post about someone else's relationship.
Alright so, I'm in college and one of the classes I'm taking is a 1-credit class where they pair you up with foreign students and help them with their English. Basically, the entire point of the class is to hang out with them, so that's pretty cool. Anyway, one of the people in the class is this Japanese girl. She seemed pretty nice and we hit it off pretty well, so I got her number and asked her if she wanted to hang out with me sometime. She said yeah.
A few days later, I texted her and asked her if she wanted to go to a movie. She replied and told me she couldn't because her boyfriend wouldn't be okay with it and the last time her boyfriend caught her hanging out with another guy, the boyfriend broke the guy's arm. Then she told me that she actually got in trouble with her boyfriend because of the texts. Let's go over everything that's wrong with this situation:
1. She gave me her number and said yes to hanging out, and she was obviously lying.
2. Her boyfriend obviously has huge anger issues if he broke some poor guy's arm for hanging out with this girl.
3. He reads her texts. Like seriously, wtf?
The reason I'm posting this is because I can't understand why anyone would put themselves in a relationship as obviously unhealthy as this one. The guy is obviously a huge control freak with major anger issues... Why the hell is she sticking around? If he hasn't already, it's only a matter of time before he loses his temper with her and hits her or something. I want to say something to her... Like, tell her she needs to run and fast, but I don't know her well enough to say anything about it :/
You know it's rude in Japanese culture to say no right? You should probably have asked if she had a bf first instead of immediately trying to blame her or making any assumptions about her bf.
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EPT
