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On September 13 2011 01:04 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On September 12 2011 21:37 OpticalShot wrote:
This blog is back to life? Weeheeee!!
hydralisk, you should honestly take a moment to cool off, sip some coffee and look at this situation again. StorkHwaiting's got a good point. Perhaps there are good reasons for the way things are - who knows if the girl has a nasty history and the guy's doing his best to keep her from straying off again? Also, to some degree, xenophobia may be in play. At this point, you're still some random stranger who suddenly established a connection through class whereas her boyfriend... is a boyfriend. If it's that direly important you hang out with her alone then I guess you'll have to confront her boyfriend about it. I mean, class being that important to you, why not just hang out with the two of them, or bring your girlfriend along for a double date? it's not important to me at all bro. I don't even care because there are plenty of other people in the class I can hang out with, and passing the class isn't as important to me as meeting new people. I was simply amazed at how this girl is happy with a relationship that's pretty obviously unhealthy if it's controlling her life. I dunno about you, but I don't care that much about my girlfriend having guy friends because I trust her not to do anything stupid. and also, if you can come up with some good reasons for a guy being so insane that he controls his girlfriend's entire social life AND actually breaks some dude's arm just for hanging out with her, I'd love to hear them.
1. The entirety of Islamic society does not allow friendships between men and women. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a different societal norm.
2. You have no idea if this girl is telling you the truth. In fact, you know absolutely nothing at all except for the infinitesimal amount she's chosen to tell you. Yet, you're ready to start handing out judgments. Good look, dude.
3. You're probably amazed because you haven't seen much of the world. There are a lot more dysfunctional relationships out there. This is relatively mild by comparison.
In general, you should calm down. Your moral system is not everyone else's. I've seen way funkier shit in my life. If she's got a boyfriend that breaks ppl's arms, and you like your arms intact, then don't talk to her. It's as simple as that. Nobody needs you to be their social worker, unless you actually are a social worker. At which point you should open a blog about your career instead of fouling up the Relationship thread with your nonsensical blabbering about how you're offended by someone else's way of life.
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On September 12 2011 09:45 Rokusha wrote:
So, my GF of 2 years officially broke up with me for good. The past two years were very volatile with a lot of break ups and then making up. It was my first legit relationship and I can admit that it was shitty but I didn't mind the bad times because when I was with her everything was... I just felt right and at home and peaceful. I never had someone who I had that type of deep connection with. I had so much fun and was so happy with her. There were a few problems on both sides, she would drink a lot and see her ex's (because they would guilt her heavily) and would act crazy (her friend was raped, some of her family have cancer,etc). First time I ended it with her, but we got back together and she continued to work on her problems and better herself.
Then comes Sophmore year of college, and I became distant and mean and would hurt her feelings by saying terrible shit to her. I don't know why I did this but I think it was because I was losing interest in her. When she had enough and broke up with me, my world crashed down. I drank a lot and put my friends through a lot of shit. She still had feelings for me and even though we were broken up we would text and stuff. This went on for several months until the spring when she decided she would give me one last chance.
The spring of sophmore year, I don't even remember much of what we did. We would hang out and chill but we didn't hang out as much as we did the first year of our relationship. I was so grateful when she took me back but as soon as she did I became complacent. The summer rolled around and she lived 3 hrs away from me and we both worked. We only saw each other twice but texted a lot. I don't know why but I would stop answering her when she called and I would never really ask her about her feelings and all that jazz. It was kind of like when I wasn't seeing her physically everyday, she stopped mattering a whole lot. I took her for granted and assumed she would just be there for my junior year.
I thought I loved her but If I really did I wouldn't put her through so much shit would I? I would have answered her phone calls, I would have asked her how her life was, I would have gone the extra step to be more involved with her. When she asked me this, there was nothing I could say back because it was true. That's when it ended.
She was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I fucked it up. But trying to think logically, she obviously wasn't the right one if I did do all that shit to her continually for most of our relationship... But it still hurts and it sucks. I miss her. I miss texting her. I miss her voice and hanging out with her.
I guess I am not really looking for advice. Just needed to vent to someone..... thanks
Distance is a bitch man. It sounds like you need to work on communication. It's OK to tell your long distance girlfriend that she's calling too much or that you don't like sitting on the phone saying nothing, etc, but you can't just ignore her calls, that never works out.
But, don't worry about it in the long term. The "best thing that has ever happened to me" line is corny romantic comedy bullshit, you'll be fine, everyone fucks up a relationship or two in their life and they all end up fine :p.
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United Kingdom10823 Posts
On September 13 2011 02:12 StorkHwaiting wrote:Show nested quote +On September 13 2011 01:04 iamahydralisk wrote:On September 12 2011 21:37 OpticalShot wrote:
This blog is back to life? Weeheeee!!
hydralisk, you should honestly take a moment to cool off, sip some coffee and look at this situation again. StorkHwaiting's got a good point. Perhaps there are good reasons for the way things are - who knows if the girl has a nasty history and the guy's doing his best to keep her from straying off again? Also, to some degree, xenophobia may be in play. At this point, you're still some random stranger who suddenly established a connection through class whereas her boyfriend... is a boyfriend. If it's that direly important you hang out with her alone then I guess you'll have to confront her boyfriend about it. I mean, class being that important to you, why not just hang out with the two of them, or bring your girlfriend along for a double date? it's not important to me at all bro. I don't even care because there are plenty of other people in the class I can hang out with, and passing the class isn't as important to me as meeting new people. I was simply amazed at how this girl is happy with a relationship that's pretty obviously unhealthy if it's controlling her life. I dunno about you, but I don't care that much about my girlfriend having guy friends because I trust her not to do anything stupid. and also, if you can come up with some good reasons for a guy being so insane that he controls his girlfriend's entire social life AND actually breaks some dude's arm just for hanging out with her, I'd love to hear them. 1. The entirety of Islamic society does not allow friendships between men and women. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a different societal norm. 2. You have no idea if this girl is telling you the truth. In fact, you know absolutely nothing at all except for the infinitesimal amount she's chosen to tell you. Yet, you're ready to start handing out judgments. Good look, dude. 3. You're probably amazed because you haven't seen much of the world. There are a lot more dysfunctional relationships out there. This is relatively mild by comparison. In general, you should calm down. Your moral system is not everyone else's. I've seen way funkier shit in my life. If she's got a boyfriend that breaks ppl's arms, and you like your arms intact, then don't talk to her. It's as simple as that. Nobody needs you to be their social worker, unless you actually are a social worker. At which point you should open a blog about your career instead of fouling up the Relationship thread with your nonsensical blabbering about how you're offended by someone else's way of life.
1. Yep, that's basically true. The Western side of us arn't anything like that, and its slowly changing in the Muslim countries as well, but that's basically right for now
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On September 13 2011 02:12 StorkHwaiting wrote:Show nested quote +On September 13 2011 01:04 iamahydralisk wrote:On September 12 2011 21:37 OpticalShot wrote:
This blog is back to life? Weeheeee!!
hydralisk, you should honestly take a moment to cool off, sip some coffee and look at this situation again. StorkHwaiting's got a good point. Perhaps there are good reasons for the way things are - who knows if the girl has a nasty history and the guy's doing his best to keep her from straying off again? Also, to some degree, xenophobia may be in play. At this point, you're still some random stranger who suddenly established a connection through class whereas her boyfriend... is a boyfriend. If it's that direly important you hang out with her alone then I guess you'll have to confront her boyfriend about it. I mean, class being that important to you, why not just hang out with the two of them, or bring your girlfriend along for a double date? it's not important to me at all bro. I don't even care because there are plenty of other people in the class I can hang out with, and passing the class isn't as important to me as meeting new people. I was simply amazed at how this girl is happy with a relationship that's pretty obviously unhealthy if it's controlling her life. I dunno about you, but I don't care that much about my girlfriend having guy friends because I trust her not to do anything stupid. and also, if you can come up with some good reasons for a guy being so insane that he controls his girlfriend's entire social life AND actually breaks some dude's arm just for hanging out with her, I'd love to hear them. 1. The entirety of Islamic society does not allow friendships between men and women. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a different societal norm. 2. You have no idea if this girl is telling you the truth. In fact, you know absolutely nothing at all except for the infinitesimal amount she's chosen to tell you. Yet, you're ready to start handing out judgments. Good look, dude. 3. You're probably amazed because you haven't seen much of the world. There are a lot more dysfunctional relationships out there. This is relatively mild by comparison. In general, you should calm down. Your moral system is not everyone else's. I've seen way funkier shit in my life. If she's got a boyfriend that breaks ppl's arms, and you like your arms intact, then don't talk to her. It's as simple as that. Nobody needs you to be their social worker, unless you actually are a social worker. At which point you should open a blog about your career instead of fouling up the Relationship thread with your nonsensical blabbering about how you're offended by someone else's way of life.
When someone is obviously confused, scared, and being controlled and has grown the courage to throw you a little rope by telling you about their bf breaking ppls arms and being a control freak ignoring is probably the worst thing to do. Atleast hydralisk should prod back a little to get more information. Because if it's as bad as hydralisk thinks she'll probably atleast want to talk about it more if given the chance.
Yeah societal norms exist and yea in general it's bad to try and apply your own moral system onto others. But more importantly, you should always do what you feel is right even if you might be stepping on some toes. SAVE HER HYDRALISK!
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On September 12 2011 21:31 Hassybaby wrote:The reason this thread is so awesome isn't the fact that we're trying to help the TL community, but because Rekrul comes in with his one-liners supporting Hydra. Nothing else matters! Show nested quote +On September 12 2011 11:36 3Form wrote:On September 12 2011 10:48 supaplex wrote:
Dont you feel ridiculous when you 'open' with a preplanned line that makes you sound special and every next sentense you say proves how much of a demented sick nerd you are? I would kill myself from all this awkwardness or just scream 'Im retarded' and run away laughing hysterically. Im too old to be embarrassed anymore but dont give this advice to someone who hasnt spoken to a woman outside his house yet. I'd be tempted to back supaplex here. Conversation I recently witnessed: Boy: So where are you from? Girl: Vietnam Boy: Oh! I really want to go there, it's a beautiful country, my favourite! Girl: I live in the capital Boy: Ohh... I don't know the capital. Girl: It's Hanoi You'll just dig yourself into a hole. If you are indifferent to her necklace then don't tell her you "really like it", It'll just sound creepy and any girl/lady/woman worth talking to will see straight through it. Kind've hard to put into words what I really want to say, but I think you'd be better off thinking about the situation in which you are meeting this girl, be it in a lecture, at a party, round a friend's house, down the pub, etc. Rather than arbitrarily picking a topic before the person you're going to have a conversation with. Basically I suppose that when you first meet someone, the only thing you know you both have in common is that situation in which you've just met, if you see what I mean. Conversation stems from common points of interest. Don't create artificial ones! I was never suggesting a pre-planned opening line. Those were just examples that I thought of from the top of my head. You've basically said what I wanted to suggest, but just said it in a way that people understand  And, to cover supaplex's point. You're damn right it'll be embarrassing the first few times. But that's what you have to get over, and you're never going get over it by not doing it. I'm not suggesting that you pick a stupid subject that you have completely no idea about. I'm suggesting you pick A topic. Not going any further than that. Fill the blank in with whatever you feel is right/ you are comfortable with at the time. But be prepared to be embarrassed, because making a dick of yourself is going to happen, and that's part of the way to getting more confident and know how to approach situations better.
I see and understand what you're saying. Thanks alot everyone it helps alot.
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On September 13 2011 02:12 StorkHwaiting wrote:Show nested quote +On September 13 2011 01:04 iamahydralisk wrote:On September 12 2011 21:37 OpticalShot wrote:
This blog is back to life? Weeheeee!!
hydralisk, you should honestly take a moment to cool off, sip some coffee and look at this situation again. StorkHwaiting's got a good point. Perhaps there are good reasons for the way things are - who knows if the girl has a nasty history and the guy's doing his best to keep her from straying off again? Also, to some degree, xenophobia may be in play. At this point, you're still some random stranger who suddenly established a connection through class whereas her boyfriend... is a boyfriend. If it's that direly important you hang out with her alone then I guess you'll have to confront her boyfriend about it. I mean, class being that important to you, why not just hang out with the two of them, or bring your girlfriend along for a double date? it's not important to me at all bro. I don't even care because there are plenty of other people in the class I can hang out with, and passing the class isn't as important to me as meeting new people. I was simply amazed at how this girl is happy with a relationship that's pretty obviously unhealthy if it's controlling her life. I dunno about you, but I don't care that much about my girlfriend having guy friends because I trust her not to do anything stupid. and also, if you can come up with some good reasons for a guy being so insane that he controls his girlfriend's entire social life AND actually breaks some dude's arm just for hanging out with her, I'd love to hear them. 1. The entirety of Islamic society does not allow friendships between men and women. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a different societal norm. 2. You have no idea if this girl is telling you the truth. In fact, you know absolutely nothing at all except for the infinitesimal amount she's chosen to tell you. Yet, you're ready to start handing out judgments. Good look, dude. 3. You're probably amazed because you haven't seen much of the world. There are a lot more dysfunctional relationships out there. This is relatively mild by comparison. In general, you should calm down. Your moral system is not everyone else's. I've seen way funkier shit in my life. If she's got a boyfriend that breaks ppl's arms, and you like your arms intact, then don't talk to her. It's as simple as that. Nobody needs you to be their social worker, unless you actually are a social worker. At which point you should open a blog about your career instead of fouling up the Relationship thread with your nonsensical blabbering about how you're offended by someone else's way of life.
not even gonna bother replying seriously. the fact that you're attempting to justify needless harm to some innocent guy under the pretenses of "different societal norms" (and btw, the boyfriend is an american white guy, lol) is pretty sickening. I have nothing further to discuss with you.
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also rekrul, she seems happy enough and I hardly know her, so I'm not gonna do anything about it. now, if she went out of her way to try to tell me more and was obviously in need of help... then maybe.
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On September 13 2011 12:21 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On September 13 2011 02:12 StorkHwaiting wrote:On September 13 2011 01:04 iamahydralisk wrote:On September 12 2011 21:37 OpticalShot wrote:
This blog is back to life? Weeheeee!!
hydralisk, you should honestly take a moment to cool off, sip some coffee and look at this situation again. StorkHwaiting's got a good point. Perhaps there are good reasons for the way things are - who knows if the girl has a nasty history and the guy's doing his best to keep her from straying off again? Also, to some degree, xenophobia may be in play. At this point, you're still some random stranger who suddenly established a connection through class whereas her boyfriend... is a boyfriend. If it's that direly important you hang out with her alone then I guess you'll have to confront her boyfriend about it. I mean, class being that important to you, why not just hang out with the two of them, or bring your girlfriend along for a double date? it's not important to me at all bro. I don't even care because there are plenty of other people in the class I can hang out with, and passing the class isn't as important to me as meeting new people. I was simply amazed at how this girl is happy with a relationship that's pretty obviously unhealthy if it's controlling her life. I dunno about you, but I don't care that much about my girlfriend having guy friends because I trust her not to do anything stupid. and also, if you can come up with some good reasons for a guy being so insane that he controls his girlfriend's entire social life AND actually breaks some dude's arm just for hanging out with her, I'd love to hear them. 1. The entirety of Islamic society does not allow friendships between men and women. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a different societal norm. 2. You have no idea if this girl is telling you the truth. In fact, you know absolutely nothing at all except for the infinitesimal amount she's chosen to tell you. Yet, you're ready to start handing out judgments. Good look, dude. 3. You're probably amazed because you haven't seen much of the world. There are a lot more dysfunctional relationships out there. This is relatively mild by comparison. In general, you should calm down. Your moral system is not everyone else's. I've seen way funkier shit in my life. If she's got a boyfriend that breaks ppl's arms, and you like your arms intact, then don't talk to her. It's as simple as that. Nobody needs you to be their social worker, unless you actually are a social worker. At which point you should open a blog about your career instead of fouling up the Relationship thread with your nonsensical blabbering about how you're offended by someone else's way of life. not even gonna bother replying seriously. the fact that you're attempting to justify needless harm to some innocent guy under the pretenses of "different societal norms" (and btw, the boyfriend is an american white guy, lol) is pretty sickening. I have nothing further to discuss with you.
So all American white guys have the same societal norms. Okay, that's an interesting thought.
How do you know the other guy was innocent?
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On September 13 2011 12:21 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On September 13 2011 02:12 StorkHwaiting wrote:On September 13 2011 01:04 iamahydralisk wrote:On September 12 2011 21:37 OpticalShot wrote:
This blog is back to life? Weeheeee!!
hydralisk, you should honestly take a moment to cool off, sip some coffee and look at this situation again. StorkHwaiting's got a good point. Perhaps there are good reasons for the way things are - who knows if the girl has a nasty history and the guy's doing his best to keep her from straying off again? Also, to some degree, xenophobia may be in play. At this point, you're still some random stranger who suddenly established a connection through class whereas her boyfriend... is a boyfriend. If it's that direly important you hang out with her alone then I guess you'll have to confront her boyfriend about it. I mean, class being that important to you, why not just hang out with the two of them, or bring your girlfriend along for a double date? it's not important to me at all bro. I don't even care because there are plenty of other people in the class I can hang out with, and passing the class isn't as important to me as meeting new people. I was simply amazed at how this girl is happy with a relationship that's pretty obviously unhealthy if it's controlling her life. I dunno about you, but I don't care that much about my girlfriend having guy friends because I trust her not to do anything stupid. and also, if you can come up with some good reasons for a guy being so insane that he controls his girlfriend's entire social life AND actually breaks some dude's arm just for hanging out with her, I'd love to hear them. 1. The entirety of Islamic society does not allow friendships between men and women. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a different societal norm. 2. You have no idea if this girl is telling you the truth. In fact, you know absolutely nothing at all except for the infinitesimal amount she's chosen to tell you. Yet, you're ready to start handing out judgments. Good look, dude. 3. You're probably amazed because you haven't seen much of the world. There are a lot more dysfunctional relationships out there. This is relatively mild by comparison. In general, you should calm down. Your moral system is not everyone else's. I've seen way funkier shit in my life. If she's got a boyfriend that breaks ppl's arms, and you like your arms intact, then don't talk to her. It's as simple as that. Nobody needs you to be their social worker, unless you actually are a social worker. At which point you should open a blog about your career instead of fouling up the Relationship thread with your nonsensical blabbering about how you're offended by someone else's way of life. not even gonna bother replying seriously. the fact that you're attempting to justify needless harm to some innocent guy under the pretenses of "different societal norms" (and btw, the boyfriend is an american white guy, lol) is pretty sickening. I have nothing further to discuss with you.
While what you describe seems like it's pretty extreme, Stork does have a point. Especially when it comes to other people's relationships, you have to make your assumptions very carefully. Plus, what you find sickening, others may find completely acceptable or even necessary. Plastic surgery, death penalty, hitting your children, etc.. Controversial issues are always defined by social and personal biases. At least in my experience.
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United Kingdom10823 Posts
Guys, take your social commentary somewhere else. This is about girl troubles!
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A more strange story:
I am friends with this girl, and friends with her friends. She used to like me, but we are now like just friends. (Partly because she wasnt my type) However, recently, I like her friend, and have started to go after her (making moves, whatnot). She seemed to be ok with this (in fact she was the one who raised this possibility, i am not sure if she was jokin or not).
The problem is, after I started, my friend has become super cold, and I am not sure what i did wrong. It would raelly suck to lose a friend like this.... can anyone help?
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On September 14 2011 05:44 bloopie wrote:
A more strange story:
I am friends with this girl, and friends with her friends. She used to like me, but we are now like just friends. (Partly because she wasnt my type) However, recently, I like her friend, and have started to go after her (making moves, whatnot). She seemed to be ok with this (in fact she was the one who raised this possibility, i am not sure if she was jokin or not).
The problem is, after I started, my friend has become super cold, and I am not sure what i did wrong. It would raelly suck to lose a friend like this.... can anyone help?
You didn't do anything wrong, but if she was into you and now you're interested in one of her friends well... you can't exactly expect that to not hit home for her.
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You'll find that not many girls tend to relate to socially awkward metalheads who wear obscene Brutal Death Metal shirts who has hair often twice the length of the girls.. but hey, I'd rather be dead than cool. =]
I have never had a girlfriend and I'm 18 (I'm straight btw incase anyone starts to take the piss) :L
I've literally spent my youth playing video games alone listening to bands like 'La Dispute' and various Metal across all subgenres religiously, (music helps).. it's difficult spending most of your teenage years watching your friends fall in and out of love... life is a bitch but I don't really care, "hold your head up and wait for the one".
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^you'll find that "metal" is more of a mindset rather than a dresscode - don't have to have spikes and leather to be metal.
I listen to all types of metal and I dress rather normally.
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On September 13 2011 12:21 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On September 13 2011 02:12 StorkHwaiting wrote:On September 13 2011 01:04 iamahydralisk wrote:On September 12 2011 21:37 OpticalShot wrote:
This blog is back to life? Weeheeee!!
hydralisk, you should honestly take a moment to cool off, sip some coffee and look at this situation again. StorkHwaiting's got a good point. Perhaps there are good reasons for the way things are - who knows if the girl has a nasty history and the guy's doing his best to keep her from straying off again? Also, to some degree, xenophobia may be in play. At this point, you're still some random stranger who suddenly established a connection through class whereas her boyfriend... is a boyfriend. If it's that direly important you hang out with her alone then I guess you'll have to confront her boyfriend about it. I mean, class being that important to you, why not just hang out with the two of them, or bring your girlfriend along for a double date? it's not important to me at all bro. I don't even care because there are plenty of other people in the class I can hang out with, and passing the class isn't as important to me as meeting new people. I was simply amazed at how this girl is happy with a relationship that's pretty obviously unhealthy if it's controlling her life. I dunno about you, but I don't care that much about my girlfriend having guy friends because I trust her not to do anything stupid. and also, if you can come up with some good reasons for a guy being so insane that he controls his girlfriend's entire social life AND actually breaks some dude's arm just for hanging out with her, I'd love to hear them. 1. The entirety of Islamic society does not allow friendships between men and women. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a different societal norm. 2. You have no idea if this girl is telling you the truth. In fact, you know absolutely nothing at all except for the infinitesimal amount she's chosen to tell you. Yet, you're ready to start handing out judgments. Good look, dude. 3. You're probably amazed because you haven't seen much of the world. There are a lot more dysfunctional relationships out there. This is relatively mild by comparison. In general, you should calm down. Your moral system is not everyone else's. I've seen way funkier shit in my life. If she's got a boyfriend that breaks ppl's arms, and you like your arms intact, then don't talk to her. It's as simple as that. Nobody needs you to be their social worker, unless you actually are a social worker. At which point you should open a blog about your career instead of fouling up the Relationship thread with your nonsensical blabbering about how you're offended by someone else's way of life. not even gonna bother replying seriously. the fact that you're attempting to justify needless harm to some innocent guy under the pretenses of "different societal norms" (and btw, the boyfriend is an american white guy, lol) is pretty sickening. I have nothing further to discuss with you.
I don't see where it says the guy was innocent. Maybe he was touchin' her boob when he walked in... Broke that arm right off
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Hey, me again. I don't necessarily have a problem this time, but I'm just looking for some advice.
Alright, so, for those who don't know, I met a girl at a concert a little over a month ago, and we started dating a few days later. She lives in a smallish town about 2 hours away, so we haven't really been able to "date" like a traditional couple would. I've spend two weekends at her place, and she's hopefully coming here this weekend.
Anyway, here's what I need advice on. Yesterday, she told me she wants to move here and get an apartment with me. Her job wouldn't be an issue because she works for a nationwide company and she can just transfer. I also have a job, so we'd be able to make it work money-wise. I'm not sure about it, though... On one hand, I feel like it's a little too soon to be moving in together, because we've only been dating for a month. But then, on the other.... It sucks being in a long distance relationship, and it'd be pretty nice to be able to see her on a regular basis.
There's one more issue. My best friend and I were planning on getting a place together well before this girl came into the picture, and now, I'm not sure how that's going to work. He's not really hot on the idea of having her live with us (he'd prefer it be just me and him), so... I don't know what to do there. Bros vs hoes... lol, but seriously. It's also tough because he doesn't want to get a place until next semester. I know my girlfriend and I could afford a place on our own, though, so I'm not sure how much that matters.
tl;dr: long distance girlfriend wants to move here, get a place, but it feels soonish and bros vs hoes drama
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United Kingdom10823 Posts
Dude, you need to just leave the country and start fresh. I recommend New Zealand, because its so beautiful.
But seriously, this is a conversation that you need to have with her, and probably soon. Put all the cards on the table, because you clearly know how much of a big deal is that you're moving in, and doing it soon is a good idea, because you don't want to delay it for too long. As long as you're honest about the situation, it should turn out fine, and she'll understand where you are right now, and maybe you can find a compromise. But defiantly talk to her.
Whether you want to mention your previous plans with your best friend is up to you. I think its best to make a judgement call at the time, but I'm leaning towards a yes. Personally, it sounds super quick to move in when its only been a month of LDR, but that's something to discuss with her
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On September 16 2011 09:41 iamahydralisk wrote:
Hey, me again. I don't necessarily have a problem this time, but I'm just looking for some advice.
Alright, so, for those who don't know, I met a girl at a concert a little over a month ago, and we started dating a few days later. She lives in a smallish town about 2 hours away, so we haven't really been able to "date" like a traditional couple would. I've spend two weekends at her place, and she's hopefully coming here this weekend.
Anyway, here's what I need advice on. Yesterday, she told me she wants to move here and get an apartment with me. Her job wouldn't be an issue because she works for a nationwide company and she can just transfer. I also have a job, so we'd be able to make it work money-wise. I'm not sure about it, though... On one hand, I feel like it's a little too soon to be moving in together, because we've only been dating for a month. But then, on the other.... It sucks being in a long distance relationship, and it'd be pretty nice to be able to see her on a regular basis.
There's one more issue. My best friend and I were planning on getting a place together well before this girl came into the picture, and now, I'm not sure how that's going to work. He's not really hot on the idea of having her live with us (he'd prefer it be just me and him), so... I don't know what to do there. Bros vs hoes... lol, but seriously. It's also tough because he doesn't want to get a place until next semester. I know my girlfriend and I could afford a place on our own, though, so I'm not sure how much that matters.
tl;dr: long distance girlfriend wants to move here, get a place, but it feels soonish and bros vs hoes drama
Tell her you're not ready and that you already had something going with your friends.
You'd like to explore on your relationship with her before you go through with such a major step.
She'll understand entirely.
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bros vs. hoes drama is irrelevant tbh. but... 1 month of LDR feels like way too soon to move in together imo. That's a big commitment and a big recipe for disaster if anything goes wrong, which is still a pretty likely occurrence considering you've only known her for a month. I dunno, it's really your call and LDR sucks so I understand the appeal, but it still feels like rushing into a way bigger commitment than your relationship is ready for.
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EPT
