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So, I've got prom this coming Saturday. I'm excited and ready to have a good time, and she is as well. But, I don't really have all the knowledge about prom to make it function smoothly, I don't think. So, some tips/generalities would be nice!
1. Day date
Picking her up, I assume I should just go to the door, if she has me meet her parents, I'll do it then, if not, just head out? We're probably going to go ATVing with our group, which shouldn't be something to worry about I hope. Should I open/close her door for her at every opportunity? I want to be a gentleman, but I don't want to be over the top with it. Also, is there anything I should do/shouldn't do during the day date?
2. Dinner
I guess I don't have many questions with dinner, but tips with it would be nice. But, this will also likely be the time where I pick her up and formally talk to her parents. I've already met them quite a few times, but is what can I say or do to help this go smoothly and be polite?
The most awkward thing for me, I think, will be when they want pictures. Where do I put my hands for the picture? Around her waist, hold her hand, or what?
3. The dance
Dance with her every slow song, or no? Dancing tips for quicker songs? I'm white, I can't do the jerk or two-step, should I learn? I can skank though 
4. Afterwards
We'll probably be watching a movie after the dance. How do I know if I can kiss her or not? If I can, do I save that for when I drop her off, or what? I'm not gonna sex her, because that's not what I do, sorry.
Tell me about your experiences with dances. While this isn't my first dance, it's my first prom. What has made it awkward, or made it a blast? What have you done for a day date that has been fun? Some do's and don'ts?
Thanks TL!
 
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I can only say stop worrying so much and follow your balls, these questions really don't need to be answered for you man.
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On April 10 2011 03:31 Zurles wrote:
I can only say stop worrying so much and follow your balls, these questions really don't need to be answered for you man.
^
If you already have a good relationship with the girl, just act natural. If you don't, (i have no idea why you're going to prom with her then) then still just act natural. It's better to screw up in good-fun than to awkwardly try and be a perfect "gentleman."
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Don't act like a retard because your hormones are telling you to, just because it's prom doesn't mean that she owes you anything. It's like allining, if you attack once and fail just GG out. If you lean in for a kiss and she backs away, don't go in for a fourth and fifth.
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On April 10 2011 03:31 Zurles wrote:
I can only say stop worrying so much and follow your balls, these questions really don't need to be answered for you man.
Aye, Relax, take it easy. You can't really answer these questions well without knowing the girl anyways.
I dated a girl once who would get super pissed at me if I tried to open the door for her. Even just one. Or when I saw her struggling with something heavy, if I'd offer, she'd be like.. uhhhh no?
So...just relax, focus more on enjoying yourselves instead of trying to figure out what's right/wrong and such.
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Telling him to act natural when you see that he'd make such a blog post is definitely not a good idea, he seeks some textbook answers to feel happy that he's prepared -> confident -> good
I've never been to a prom, so I can't really comment on it, but whether or not you should act like a gentleman and open doors etc. really depends on the girl, the general rule of thumb is not do it too much, maybe once or twice per evening.
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If you guys had a good time and you like her, kiss her. It's not as complicated as people make it out (hurrr hurr) to be.
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On April 10 2011 03:31 Zurles wrote:
I can only say stop worrying so much and follow your balls, these questions really don't need to be answered for you man.
Theres some advice we can give
You don't have to open/close the door at EVERY opportunity. If you're a gentleman, you probably already do fairly often anyways. General rule is, if you're ahead of her, hold it for her, don't speed up to get in front to do so. Exception is when you take her to dinner and the door to the limo/car - open these for her. If you want to be classy, pull her chair out as well! During pictures, your arm goes around her waist traditionally, but whatever feels comfortable.
At every prom i've been to, most people don't dance very much and its an excuse to have an after party. You don't have to dance with her every song. Dance when you want. Ideally, there will be a group of girls she's friends with, and when you're tired/don't want to dance she'll dance with them.
As for kissing her, kiss her when it feels right. I know thats cliche but its true. Maybe thats when you're slow dancing, maybe thats during the movie, maybe thats when you drop her off. Up to you, just be a boss and go for it when its right, and if it doesn't feel right all night, thats fine too.
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Pretend she is just like a dude and act normal, except when you are dancing together, that might be pretty awkward.
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1) Seriously, its no different than any other date. Be you. Be so much you its retarded. When your done with that, do a little more of "Being you"
2) Pretty straight forward, one note is with all date meals, eating is generally a backseat to engaging in conversation. Its awkward to be chowing down and not speaking with somebody your still getting to know.
3) Dance as often as your comfortable with dancing. Nobody expects you to make a marathon of it. I've never skanked at a formal dance, but hell if its not fun, which is what its all about!
4)There are many books written about dating/relationships. One thing everybody agree's upon is ALWAYS as a minimum, offer a good night kiss. Not a peck on the cheek like your kissing your mother, Kiss the poor girl on the lips if your into her. If she shy's away, thats fine, lay off it, and move on. to make it an easier transition its often best to make your intentions known, make eye contact, brush her hair behind her ear if she's close. And go for it, this isn't reaper harass, take your time.
Capital rule though. Always remember your the gentleman, a girl wants to be led, not followed. Set the pace for the evening and just have fun with it =)
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If anything bad happens, don't let it get to you. The prom aint a big deal, it's pretty well a glorified high school dance. On the dinner: make sure you have good eating manners. Watch those fancy british dinner parties, lol. One of my friends has the eating mannerisms of your typical 13 year old, and the girl he was with was sort of uptight, although very pretty and the rest of her personality was very nice.
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Should I open/close her door for her at every opportunity? I want to be a gentleman, but I don't want to be over the top with it.
I do this for my girlfriend and she still gets a kick out of it after years. The key is not to be cheesy, just do it with the attitude of "Of course I am opening this door for you, you're a lady and I am a gentleman". One thing to watch out for- when you're getting IN the car it is easy to open her door but when you are getting OUT it is hard for you to run around the car in time to open her door without her just doing it herself. I suggest just letting this happen as opposed to running like an idiot :-)
Also, is there anything I should do/shouldn't do during the day date?
Don't talk about the dance. Use it as an opportunity to get "friend time" out of the way so your night can be more romantic.
I guess I don't have many questions with dinner, but tips with it would be nice.
Don't look at the check when it comes, just put your card on top of it and keep talking. If you go to dinner with a group you (or somebody) should think about putting the whole table's dinner on one card and then let you and the other guys worry about settling up tomorrow after the dance.
But, this will also likely be the time where I pick her up and formally talk to her parents. I've already met them quite a few times, but is what can I say or do to help this go smoothly and be polite?
It's prom, they've been there too. Just talk about how excited you are, or tell stories about ATVing earlier. My senior year I talked to my girlfriends mom about how excited I was for the steak I was about to eat and how much I don't like "school dance music". If you've already met them then your first impression is already made, you just need to avoid looking like a rapist and you will be fine.
The most awkward thing for me, I think, will be when they want pictures. Where do I put my hands for the picture? Around her waist, hold her hand, or what?
Waist. Just don't worry about it, being nervous will make you look goofy in the pictures. This happened to me at freshman homecoming lol :-)
Dance with her every slow song, or no? Dancing tips for quicker songs? I'm white, I can't do the jerk or two-step, should I learn? I can skank though
Please DO NOT do a dance with a name... Yes, dance during the slow songs that part wont be too hard. During the quicker songs... lucky for us women have extremely low standards for male dancing. Just try not to fall over and you should be fine :-). I suggest trying to have as much fun an possible and don't worry so much about looking like Usher
We'll probably be watching a movie after the dance. How do I know if I can kiss her or not?
Yeah, you just took her to prom. If she is still there, she will let you kiss her. Seriously, what girl doesn't want to be kissed on prom? It is such an integral part of the prom fantasy that I bet she thought about it before even agreeing to go. The fact that she said yes means shes already open to the idea. Just try and be sweet (aka not a total perv) and everything should go fine.
If I can, do I save that for when I drop her off, or what? I'm not gonna sex her, because that's not what I do, sorry.
If it hasn't happened by the time you drop her off, yeah kiss at the door. TBH I say throw it out there during the movie, its not like she is going to freak out and leave or anything dramatic so just be nice and you should be fine.
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I think iGrok gives good advice. I'll try to give my advice, too.
Day date- Since you two are hanging out with your friends doing stuff that isn't especially romantic, don't be too date-like. You have all night to be date-like, for the day date just hang out and have fun like usual. Have a good time together. This goes for opening doors, too. Open doors later when you're all dressed up and actually going to the prom.
Dinner- This will be where you do most of your talking. Just be your charming self! Remember to eat classy, don't chew too loud, etc. If you already know her parents, there's nothing to worry about there. Just act normal. For the picture, you definitely put your hand around her waist. Also lean your head toward her just a bit.
Dancing- Just hold her and move around, lol. You dont have to dance every dance.
Afterwards- Put your arm around her during the movie. Trust me, she wants you to. Don't kiss her during the movie, imo. Walk her to the door and kiss her there (unless her parents are going to be there waiting at the door... but they probably won't). How do you know if you can kiss her? If she's like any girl I know, you can definitely kiss her unless you fucked up bad. As long as you guys had a good time, you can go for it.
Good luck, have fun.
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Wtf is this OP? :s
Nowhere is it even clear if you have a history with this girl or if you're considering this prom as some weird first date where the two of you will suddenly fall madly in love and end up kissing at midnight...
GLHF is all i'll say. Too bad Inc is all NASL serious mode now or i'm sure he'd have some advice on how to touch your date on the pictures her parents take.
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Think a lot less.
If you feel like you can kiss her. Kiss her.
Test the waters with dancing. If she's into it dance slow.
Don't go to a movie after the dance. Do -anything- else.
If she feels tense its because you're too tense. Relax and try again.
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Just have fun. Don't stress over it.. the hard part is already over with (finding a girl, making arrangements, etc.) As long as you're going with a girl that you trust and get along with well, which 100% seems to be the case, then you're golden. For pictures, you arm kinda wraps around her waist. When one of my cousins went, he put his arm around her shoulder and it was basically hanging right over her chest... incredibly awkward. Don't make that mistake
Prom will be really fun if you allow it to be, so make the best of it!
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Just relax and have fun. Who gives a shit?
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Just relax and be yourself! Don't think to much in to it. If something feels right, just go for it and screw the consequences!
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As always, ACT NATURAL!
Well that can be rather cryptic, so this is what it means:
Do NOT think you have noting to say, or be too cautious of offending that you end up not talking, if you don't think they'll like your jokes (nothing too harsh, no dead babies please) well then they don't like you.
I beg you not to skank, that's not manly, and please bring gum or minst of some kind for the breath to not be a deterrent from further action of any sort
Well GL HF, and don't GG too quick
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On April 10 2011 04:36 LeperKahn wrote:
Think a lot less.
If you feel like you can kiss her. Kiss her.
Test the waters with dancing. If she's into it dance slow.
Don't go to a movie after the dance. Do -anything- else.
If she feels tense its because you're too tense. Relax and try again.
Truth.
To tell the truth: It's not a big deal. Be gentle, don't rush it.
Don't 6pool it, don't 8pool it, don't 10pool it, don't even 14pool+speed it. 15hatch and let her come to you.
Also, don't go to a movie after the dance. Recipe for disaster and boredom right there easily available for you.
Again, it's not a big deal. You're young and have all the time in the world. Be happy, and just have fun.
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On April 10 2011 04:36 LeperKahn wrote:
Think a lot less.
If you feel like you can kiss her. Kiss her.
Test the waters with dancing. If she's into it dance slow.
Don't go to a movie after the dance. Do -anything- else.
If she feels tense its because you're too tense. Relax and try again.
Oh no, we're not going to a movie, we're going to watch a movie at someone's house. Sorry, not meant to confuse.
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why is going to the movies such a bad idea? >_> noob here
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On April 10 2011 06:18 Nomadic wrote:
why is going to the movies such a bad idea? >_> noob here
Because you can't talk.
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Chew gum to make your mouth all tasty, but for god's sake, spit the gum out before kissing.
Idk what your history with this girl is, but don't be retarded, just pay attention to her non-verbal communication, and you'll be able to tell if you can kiss her or not. A good sign she does not want to be kissed is if she feels like a block of wood. Stiff girl = not interested, feeling awkward with you, wants to get away. A girl who is all up against you, different story. You get the idea.
And just relax. If you can't laugh at yourself when you ruin a romantic moment with the realities of trying to figure out how to kiss someone new, or for spilling sauce all over your shirt when you're all dressed up, you're probably not with the right person anyway.
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Honestly it depends so much on the girl that I think its a mistake to give blanket advice. Theres girls who always want a good night kiss, and theres girls who will never kiss until the third date. I've dated women who enjoyed me opening doors and spending money on them, but I've also dated women who get offended if I offer. My junior year high school prom date used prom as a way to start a longer-term relationship with me. I wanted to date my senior year prom date, but it didnt work out and we ended up being just friends (we still had a good time).
I think one thing I can feel confident about telling you is that at least some physical contact is always expected for the pictures and at least one slow dance. However stick in the hands/shoulders/waist area unless you receive some obvious encouragement. Keyword being obvious, dont overanalyze things or youll just drive yourself crazy.
And whenever the two of you are alone, do you best to keep conversation, any conversation (well, *not* other girl related) going. Most girls want to have something "extra" they can talk about with their friends post-prom so theres gotta be some interaction outside of the group setting. Even if its stupid stuff like making up a story or doing something out-of-character.
And learn how to tie both workties and bowties beforehand. Even if you dont need it for yourself, theres always going to be a friend out there that screws it up for himself. =)
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Don't think at all. Just follow your feelings. But keep them under control. This is really the best advice I can give, because if you think about stuff it makes you come off as awkward, unless your mind is racing, which is exhausting, which means you won't be having as much fun as you could be having. Just lighten up and go with the flow, man. You like her, why would you pass up the opportunity to hold/kiss her? Don't think, just go for it. You can tell by her reactions what she thinks and you either adjust accordingly or be yourself. Either way tends to be pretty good.
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Canada6330 Posts
Most of the people here have the right idea, and I agree with them. #1 thing to keep in mind is not to keep anything particular in mind, because already what you naturally are / what you naturally act like is good with your date.
If you want to envision a scenario though... well, all of this should come out naturally.
- compliment her on her dress. Girls go through countless hours just to select a dress, so you should let her know how wonderful she looks! I suppose you can extend it to her shoes and hair and everything... don't over-do it, just let her know that you know how much effort she put into looking beautiful (for you!!!)
- be a natural gentleman. Again this is natural stuff like opening doors, putting a jacket/shawl on her shoulders (and knees if she's wearing a short dress), and stuff. Your prom date is probably just as nervous and anxious as you are, so if you can play the role of a gentleman and help her relax / enjoy the night, she'll appreciate it a lot.
- don't drink too much. Ok, so after prom. Ideally, everyone should be drinking a bit - and you just have to make sure you don't pass out. Somewhat conscious, lead the action... and you know the rest!
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I almost skipped prom to go see Mahler's Symphony No. 2 being played the same night.
Fortunately, I didn't skip and ended up going to prom. Unfortunately, I was too lazy to get a date. Fortunately, I went to see the symphony the following day after a night of partying.
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On April 10 2011 05:59 DerNebel wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2011 04:36 LeperKahn wrote:
Think a lot less.
If you feel like you can kiss her. Kiss her.
Test the waters with dancing. If she's into it dance slow.
Don't go to a movie after the dance. Do -anything- else.
If she feels tense its because you're too tense. Relax and try again. Truth. To tell the truth: It's not a big deal. Be gentle, don't rush it. Don't 6pool it, don't 8pool it, don't 10pool it, don't even 14pool+speed it. 15hatch and let her come to you. Also, don't go to a movie after the dance. Recipe for disaster and boredom right there easily available for you. Again, it's not a big deal. You're young and have all the time in the world. Be happy, and just have fun.
Yeah man, going to the movie after prom/dinner is basically like going on another date.. without the fun stuff that happens after the date 
After my prom I went to a pancake house with my best friend and our dates. Then afterwards my gf slept over at my house...
Just be chill!
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pfff if you're not going to sex her you at least HAVE to get a kiss 
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At the end of the day, if you act like a gentleman, it doesn't matter what you do. Have fun.
All of the what should I/shouldn't I do stuff is based on your relationship with the girl. But honestly, just have fun and be nice =) All those little extra things like holding doors and stuff are gentlemanlike, and people appreciate it. imo make her feel special.
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EPT
