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On April 03 2011 14:17 Masamune wrote:Show nested quote +On April 03 2011 13:52 Froadac wrote:On April 03 2011 13:32 Masamune wrote:
I'm not gonna write up a long reply because it's going to be harsh and you're gonna ignore it...
but if you're going to take any advice from me, please take this: when you select a university, make sure it's as far away as possible from your batshit-insane mother.
second: study something in school that you like, not what will please your folks. Chances are if you end up majoring in something that you're weak at but that they want you to do, it's gonna ultimately end up bad. Exactly. Although I actually would read it lol. My parents want me to do engineering, but they are actually being fairly accepting for once about my choice to do econ/something else, possibly some asian language .< And I'm going to socal: at least. Well that's good. If you want to go into economics and possible venture into business, don't worry about the languages part for now. You probably think that having that advantage of speaking another language from an up-and-coming business player in Asia will help you but not necessarily. For one, Asian languages are not part of the Indo-European branch, which will add to the chances of it helping to destroy your GPA. Two, you already speak English, so that's still an asset as it's the most useful language to know right now and probably for a while to come. Three, focus on a strength to pursue a degree in at university and don't overthink this elaborate image of yourself making million dollar business deals in Mandarin in this fancy Shangai skyscraper... The best thing you can do for now is major in a strength, get a good GPA and take it from there. Also have a good time and become more social because it's networking that matters in the business world. And fuck what your parents say, they seem to be terrible at advice. I'm surprised you haven't purchased a gun and ammo at Walmart yet--not for yourself, but for them...
Lol. yeah, language thing is good poitn.
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For college I have two points of advice I hope you follow.
For choosing, #1 thing, make sure you choose where you are going ultimately for you. Not for your parents, for your friends, anyone or anything except for yourself. Look out for your innermost aspirations and self interest for this decision because it dictates the rest of your life. I say this from experience because my personal #1 choice was UCSD, however I opted out for UCD and I would say it's one of my bigger regrets of my life. I chose Davis to be close to family and some high school friends, should've just made the trip out to UCSD. Go a place you'll love, don't worry about the money or this and that, worry about where you see yourself being happiest regardless of the expense of others, school is for you and no one else.
For choosing your major and future path: Have an open mind. I meet a lot of people so set on doing certain majors their freshmen year and so on, they end up hating it and it's too hard, and yet they are still hell bent on pushing through. Some barely see themselves doing something else, you are only 17/18, there's so much for you to learn and experience, sometimes you won't find your true passion til your 30s, however if you have an open mind and take random classes and just experiment, hopefully you'll find it early.
Good to see you actually want to go to Prom. If you have the time and the resources, ask someone in a fun/unique way.
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Thanks for the advice! Off to socal now 
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On April 03 2011 08:35 Froadac wrote:Show nested quote +On April 03 2011 04:20 evanthebouncy! wrote:
Okay, i think your problem is this:
You don't realize how much control/power you actually have over yourself. Your mom is not inherently bad person, actually when I read your blog (I'm asian myself) I kinda understand what she's doing and why she's doing it (thank god my mom doesn't do that that much, but she does a little so I can relate).
The idea is this, your mom wants you to be a responsible adult, which, by itself, is all the right thing and the best thing to wish for for anyone. Now where she doesn't realize is that to be responsible she has to give you room to manage yourself, and let you make your own decision and face consequences. I don't think she knows that your decision is going to be suboptimal in the beginning, so she freaks out each time you try to manage it yourself and you didn't handle the situation well enough, and take the management responsibility into her own hands, and start to manage everything for you and be controlling.
What you need to do is first be responsible for your own shit. The cycle is vicious in that the more she cares about your shit the LESS you care, and the more she gets crazy which is no good, but her rage is now justified because you really didn't care for yourself. I read your blog and it seems she's quite crazy, which partly means she really doesn't give you any chance to manage yourself and make mistakes, and learn to handle the consequences. But in the other part, it also means you have not been responsible yourself.
So, start handling your own things a bit more WITHOUT your parents having to tell you, make a decision on which UC you want to go, have clear reasons why (It could be all the wrong reasons when you re-think it later but as day9 says, make a decision based on what you have now is better to have no decision). Explain why to your parents, and in general have a clear clear idea what you are going to do and why you are doing it.
If your parents doubt your decision, talk to them about it, be patient and let them understand why it actually is not bad. Now you might come out either winning or losing the argument, but that is not important. The important thing is to know if their suggestion is valid or not, and which UC you really should go based on the collective knowledge. If you think you know more and your decision is correct but CANNOT convince your parents you are correct, try to go to that U.C. anyways and insist on your judgement.
Overall there's a lot of parent rage blogs I've read, but I don't think in a single one you motivated that you were trying to actively make a decision for yourself and your parents shut it down. So it seems you can still do that, so start making some decisions and grow up a little, once your parents seen you make the right calls they'll realize you can handle things yourself, and leave you alone. Basically how it is for most every one. Parents didn't used to trust my judgement, but they gave me some room to grow and manage, I made the right calls, now they trust me and let me manage everything.
For me it was something like... mom used to yell a lot, then I go to college and want to study computer science, then dad yelled at me a lot saying don't do it but I realized I would not be happy studying other subjects so I made up my mind and did it anyways. Now they are very proud of me for doing that. It's incredible how much power your parents DONT have when it comes to the choices you make in life. They can only FAKE control, FAKE that power, but in the end all they do is still a suggestion, and opinion on their half, and in the worst case maybe mind twists and guilt trips to control you. But if you are responsible and know what you want, they really don't get to do ANYTHING on the choices you make because they know it is you who will call the balls.
So yeah, start actively making some decisions buddy. and know what you want out of life. If you can't do those you will continued to be bitched upon and manipulated by your parents. Wow. You hit it on the head... EXCEPT. I'm not asian ^^
mind = blown
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Missed this yesterday 
Well on the prom front, you had a girl ask you to a party (to say it again, A GIRL ASKED YOU). Maybe you could ask her to the prom? Girls at that age really aren't that sneaky. Unless you reallllllllllly think she doesn't like you, and if she doesn't like you she wouldn't invite you to a party, just ask her to the prom. High school is completely unimportant in the grander scheme of your life, so you should use it to do things like meet girls. Let me tell you that the only good thing I got from high school was that there were so many pretty girls around. You basically have a free pass to be an idiot in high school. Go out and find a girl! if you try picking up girls at a high school when you're older, the police will come looking for you.
gl in socal!
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On April 04 2011 09:26 evanthebouncy! wrote:Show nested quote +On April 03 2011 08:35 Froadac wrote:On April 03 2011 04:20 evanthebouncy! wrote:
Okay, i think your problem is this:
You don't realize how much control/power you actually have over yourself. Your mom is not inherently bad person, actually when I read your blog (I'm asian myself) I kinda understand what she's doing and why she's doing it (thank god my mom doesn't do that that much, but she does a little so I can relate).
The idea is this, your mom wants you to be a responsible adult, which, by itself, is all the right thing and the best thing to wish for for anyone. Now where she doesn't realize is that to be responsible she has to give you room to manage yourself, and let you make your own decision and face consequences. I don't think she knows that your decision is going to be suboptimal in the beginning, so she freaks out each time you try to manage it yourself and you didn't handle the situation well enough, and take the management responsibility into her own hands, and start to manage everything for you and be controlling.
What you need to do is first be responsible for your own shit. The cycle is vicious in that the more she cares about your shit the LESS you care, and the more she gets crazy which is no good, but her rage is now justified because you really didn't care for yourself. I read your blog and it seems she's quite crazy, which partly means she really doesn't give you any chance to manage yourself and make mistakes, and learn to handle the consequences. But in the other part, it also means you have not been responsible yourself.
So, start handling your own things a bit more WITHOUT your parents having to tell you, make a decision on which UC you want to go, have clear reasons why (It could be all the wrong reasons when you re-think it later but as day9 says, make a decision based on what you have now is better to have no decision). Explain why to your parents, and in general have a clear clear idea what you are going to do and why you are doing it.
If your parents doubt your decision, talk to them about it, be patient and let them understand why it actually is not bad. Now you might come out either winning or losing the argument, but that is not important. The important thing is to know if their suggestion is valid or not, and which UC you really should go based on the collective knowledge. If you think you know more and your decision is correct but CANNOT convince your parents you are correct, try to go to that U.C. anyways and insist on your judgement.
Overall there's a lot of parent rage blogs I've read, but I don't think in a single one you motivated that you were trying to actively make a decision for yourself and your parents shut it down. So it seems you can still do that, so start making some decisions and grow up a little, once your parents seen you make the right calls they'll realize you can handle things yourself, and leave you alone. Basically how it is for most every one. Parents didn't used to trust my judgement, but they gave me some room to grow and manage, I made the right calls, now they trust me and let me manage everything.
For me it was something like... mom used to yell a lot, then I go to college and want to study computer science, then dad yelled at me a lot saying don't do it but I realized I would not be happy studying other subjects so I made up my mind and did it anyways. Now they are very proud of me for doing that. It's incredible how much power your parents DONT have when it comes to the choices you make in life. They can only FAKE control, FAKE that power, but in the end all they do is still a suggestion, and opinion on their half, and in the worst case maybe mind twists and guilt trips to control you. But if you are responsible and know what you want, they really don't get to do ANYTHING on the choices you make because they know it is you who will call the balls.
So yeah, start actively making some decisions buddy. and know what you want out of life. If you can't do those you will continued to be bitched upon and manipulated by your parents. Wow. You hit it on the head... EXCEPT. I'm not asian ^^ mind = blown
Lol. It's not that surprising. Many other cultures are as crazy as the Asian culture (no offense  ). The Portuguese culture (depending on where you're from in the country) is just like the Asian culture if you ask me. At least, that's how my life has been.
@OP - I know it's been said before, but please do do something you enjoy in college. Don't study for something your parents want you to do. I did that for 2 years (Chemistry) and not only did I have a horrible time, but I ended up switching to Finance. It was a waste of money and time.
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EPT
