EPTDating a girl with a child? - Page 2
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bonifaceviii
Canada2890 Posts
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telfire
United States415 Posts
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mucker
United States1120 Posts
I dated her for about 5 months a couple years ago. I liked her quite a bit but the situation got tiresome really fast. If the kid isn't her top priority then she's a shitty person and you're not going to want to be with her anyways. It was tough, however, dating someone and being low on her priority list. I basically couldn't be spontaneous, I had to call at certain times, I couldn't just show up or spring plans on her on a whim, little weekend getaways were usually out of the question, we couldn't stay out all night when we did go out, etc. After the inital 'wow we like each other!' getting to know one another funtimes it started to feel a little one sided. I was basically on call in the event that a situation would arise where we could spend some time together and started to restrict my social life, rarely making plans in advance with my friends. I had to make her a super high priority for it to work. It became clear that our lives just didn't fit together. I started feeling bad anytime I was out having fun or doing something interesting because next time I'd talk to her and she would never have any fun stories to share. In the end she made it clear that the next progression for the relationship would be for the kid to become a bigger part of it. The three of us doing things together on the weekend, me hanging out there and playing with the kid for an evening rather than her and I going out, etc. The kid was cute and all but that was totally not what I wanted my life to be like. It was over pretty quickly after that. | ||
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
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sc4k
United Kingdom5454 Posts
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Thrill
2599 Posts
Dream come true! Then again, if you step in; you might be raising the offspring of one of your metal idols, never know! | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32159 Posts
More retarded: Student protests and 'underground activities' (whatever the fuck that is) or ![[image loading]](http://mybirthdaycompatibility.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/stockxpertcom_id4028021_jpg_a8f594bce3d89126423045e049ba4450.jpg) decisions, decisions | ||
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xarthaz
1704 Posts
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amd098
Korea (North)1366 Posts
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thehorsebecomesking
189 Posts
On February 16 2011 20:19 Tony Campolo wrote: If she's into feminist stuff you're fucked (financially) - you don't want to be paying child support somewhere down the line for one that's not yours. Watch the movie Blue Valentine. She'll always have the kid as a reminder of the alpha male who fucked her, and as time wears on she'll grow disinterested in you and long for the one who got away. this has to be the funniest thing ive read all day. if you wish to use queer terms then 'alpha male' would actually be the guy who isnt afraid to get with her even though she has a kid On February 16 2011 20:33 underscore wrote: Don't do it, for her sake. She already got a child doesn't need a 2nd (you). ahaha well played sir, well played i am dating someone who has a child, its a different situation because her kid isnt with her right now. but to be honest with you this relationship is the best and deepest i've ever had. so by all means dont let her kid discourage you | ||
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NuKedUFirst
Canada3139 Posts
No but seriously, I hate kids so I probably wouldn't but if you don't mind kids and like responsibility go for it, I mean, you said she is pretty awesome right? As for politics, I don't see why people need to get involved in other peoples politics. | ||
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D10
Brazil3409 Posts
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SpoR
United States1542 Posts
On February 16 2011 20:22 aidnai wrote: it takes a lot of maturity man. If she's got a kid and she's dating, she (hopefully) is looking for a more serious relationship, possibly someone to be a father type figure or something. If that's not what you're looking for, I'd say don't string her along. Just man up, initiate conversation about what you both are looking for, if it doesn't line up or make sense for you to be dating, don't do it. not always true actually. I know lots of girls that have kids and they don't know what the fuck they want. I mean they had a kid and their life was unstable, what makes you think that would change them? No offense to OP girl or women in general, but I think you have to be pretty stupid to have a kid when you don't want one to begin with/or do want one but are not stable (with a guy you're not 150% sure is going to stay and be a good relationship/father). I may just be an asshole though because I am biased. | ||
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FakePlasticLove
United States357 Posts
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Sleight
2471 Posts
Don't let it be a dilemma. Just decide what you feel comfortable with. | ||
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palanq
United States761 Posts
sounds like a bad deal. | ||
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lastmotion
368 Posts
On February 17 2011 07:18 FakePlasticLove wrote: Yeah go watch Blue Valentine with her. This. lol | ||
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Hidden_MotiveS
Canada2562 Posts
On February 16 2011 20:15 sc4k wrote: I met a girl who's pretty awesome, she's pretty good-looking, pretty intelligent, she has a great music taste and has even toured with some of my favourite metal bands like Nile and Decapitated. But she has a 2 year old kid. She can't be that intelligent if she listens to metal, goes to tours(first thing that came to my mind is she got knocked up at one), and is a single mother(imagery of her doing douchebag men). You make her into an idealization. In our country you get supported immensely by the government, and she has a pretty good money situation. Cool, but money shouldn't be the big issue if you know you love this girl. I just don't know if I should be getting involved with a girl who if I want to take her out she needs to arrange a babysitter... If you really are bothered with this girl getting a babysitter, you're not ready for this commitment. Also, she's involved in retarded student protests and underground activity, something I think very low of, but I discussed her politics and she really has no good reasons for doing it, she's not an idiot. She'll probably have stopped it in a year's time anyway. How can you be sure she'll have stopped in a year? Were I in your situation, I'd have a tough time making the decision too. I may sound critical of the relationship, but that's only because I'm an outsider, I don't love this girl, and I'm making objective comments. | ||
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thehorsebecomesking
189 Posts
believe it or not this thread made me watch it. great movie, made my gf sad for a bit. i think shes really worried about the future of our relationship so it was actually great for us to watch together | ||
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Zim23
United States1681 Posts
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