I hate girl blogs and hate writing/ reading them. Unless there is an amusing segue into some sort of pokemon joke. But I need some opinions and don't care who they're from. I met a girl who's pretty awesome, she's pretty good-looking, pretty intelligent, she has a great music taste and has even toured with some of my favourite metal bands like Nile and Decapitated. But she has a 2 year old kid. He's a nice little chap but I'm only 22 (she's 24). In our country you get supported immensely by the government, and she has a pretty good money situation. I just don't know if I should be getting involved with a girl who if I want to take her out she needs to arrange a babysitter...

Also, she's involved in retarded student protests and underground activity, something I think very low of, but I discussed her politics and she really has no good reasons for doing it, she's not an idiot. She'll probably have stopped it in a year's time anyway.

So sorry there isn't a pokemon related punchline 'cos this is an actual question, but I'll leave you with this funny picture to make up for it:

+ Show Spoiler +

Wolf

Korea (South)3290 Posts

February 16 2011 11:17 GMT

Tough call. I wouldn't get involved.

Tony Campolo

New Zealand364 Posts

February 16 2011 11:19 GMT

If she's into feminist stuff you're fucked (financially) - you don't want to be paying child support somewhere down the line for one that's not yours. Watch the movie Blue Valentine. She'll always have the kid as a reminder of the alpha male who fucked her, and as time wears on she'll grow disinterested in you and long for the one who got away.

aidnai

United States1159 Posts

February 16 2011 11:22 GMT

it takes a lot of maturity man. If she's got a kid and she's dating, she (hopefully) is looking for a more serious relationship, possibly someone to be a father type figure or something. If that's not what you're looking for, I'd say don't string her along. Just man up, initiate conversation about what you both are looking for, if it doesn't line up or make sense for you to be dating, don't do it.

underscore

252 Posts

February 16 2011 11:33 GMT

Don't do it, for her sake. She already got a child doesn't need a 2nd (you).

anatem

Romania1369 Posts

February 16 2011 11:36 GMT

you're too young, and judging from the way you outlined the context, not mature enough for this kind of relationship. move on, and find someone with a less complicated and demanding situation, for both your sakes.

Divinek

Canada4045 Posts

February 16 2011 11:37 GMT

If you really wanna be with someone it shouldn't matter etc. But if you're here asking in the first place it probably isnt a good idea if you have that kind of doubt. It just looks like you're looking for an excuse to not do it, or some wonderful success story that doesn't apply in your situation.

sc4k

United Kingdom5454 Posts

February 16 2011 11:46 GMT

I appreciate the advice guys, I'm just looking for some perspectives on the matter. I don't think you can ever be 100% sure of anything.

amd098

Korea (North)1366 Posts

February 16 2011 12:06 GMT

What I think you should look at, is if you are ready for a serious relationship. She isnt just looking for a boyfriend for a short time, she wants someone she can settle down with and raise a kid. You are not just dating her, you are also going to be getting involved in her kid's life as well. If you are not ready or able to handle that, then its probably best not to go out with her.

But if you are, and things work out for you, she would stick with you for a very long time. She might be more willing to stay and make things work instead of giving up as it would have an effect on her son, so she might be more committed to the relationship than some other women.

My friend had a kid with a girl at 18. Now he is 33 and married to that girl. I've never seen anyone so happy as the two of them, he realized that he is now responsible, and he went through school and got his CPA & MBA and makes a TON of money. He's a great dad, but he would never have gone through college he said if he did not have a daughter to support.

I guess, its just a difference of what the two of you want in a relationship. If you just want someone temporarily, and she wants someone to settle down with, then its best you rethink it through.

Silentness

United States2821 Posts

February 16 2011 12:09 GMT

#10

uhh I've dated 2 girls with a kid... DONT DO IT!

It might of been 3 girls, but I'm not 100% sure the 3rd girl had a kid or not... she was probably hiding him/her from me.

Trust me the kid will come first over you. This may not seem like a bad thing, but eventually it might become tedious.

legatus legionis

Netherlands559 Posts

February 16 2011 12:11 GMT

#11

I would totally go for it. You can always bail out, it's no problem at all. And you will get see what her being so young with a child is like. I would say that's very interesting. It seems you don't really respect her and I would probably feel the same.
I don't understand this: "she really has no good reasons for doing it, she's not an idiot". Isn't she an idiot because she doesn't have any good reasons?
Anyway, if you keep it minor for now, are sure you won't get sucked in and become accountable for anything, then I would atleast test the waters. glhf

Jathin

United States3505 Posts

February 16 2011 12:31 GMT

#12

--- Nuked ---

meegrean

Thailand7699 Posts

February 16 2011 12:43 GMT

#13

I personally wouldn't date a girl with a child unless I was 30 or 40 something years old and desperate and lonely. I don't think you can handle the burden just yet.

nttea

Sweden4353 Posts

February 16 2011 12:45 GMT

#14

I'd say go for it, there is nothing forcing you to stay around longer than you want to anyway.

Servius_Fulvius

United States947 Posts

February 16 2011 12:54 GMT

#15

On February 16 2011 21:09 Silentness wrote:
Trust me the kid will come first over you. This may not seem like a bad thing, but eventually it might become tedious.

This is the only downside to the situation IF you consider it a downside. You could view it one of two ways: she was/is irresponsible enough to get pregnant from an old relationship/hookup OR having a child forces her to grow up in many ways and you could date a girl who's years beyond the typical 20-25-year-old age group.

But hey, if you like her go for it and see how it works out

quirinus

Croatia2489 Posts

February 16 2011 13:06 GMT

#16

Don't get involved. (unless you absolutely know what you're doing)

Kids are huge thing. Parents don't have time for anything else, and the kid is the first thing over everything. If you don't have any experience with kids, don't do it. Hell, even if you do, stay away. xD

JoFu

United States25 Posts

February 16 2011 13:21 GMT

#17

I'm surprised you're not more turned off by this:
"Also, she's involved in retarded student protests and underground activity, something I think very low of, but I discussed her politics and she really has no good reasons for doing it, she's not an idiot. She'll probably have stopped it in a year's time anyway."

Loving how much "stay the fuck away from women with kids" I'm seeing. I guess if you really need "all of her attention all of the time", then this is a bad call. Really, I don't see a problem with it. Yeah, it may get complicated having to get a babysitter, but it makes that time seem more special. I dated a girl who had to take care of her 3 sisters and little brother every Friday and Saturday night because her parents were more social than she was, apparently. It was actually kind of fun, and you wind up looking like a pro every night when they all get put to bed having dealt with all of that. And needless to say, that pays off very well for you.

Catch]22

Sweden2683 Posts

February 16 2011 13:42 GMT

#18

Listen to your boner.

Sephy90

United States1785 Posts

February 16 2011 13:59 GMT

#19

On February 16 2011 22:21 JoFu wrote:
I'm surprised you're not more turned off by this:
"Also, she's involved in retarded student protests and underground activity, something I think very low of, but I discussed her politics and she really has no good reasons for doing it, she's not an idiot. She'll probably have stopped it in a year's time anyway."

Loving how much "stay the fuck away from women with kids" I'm seeing. I guess if you really need "all of her attention all of the time", then this is a bad call. Really, I don't see a problem with it. Yeah, it may get complicated having to get a babysitter, but it makes that time seem more special. I dated a girl who had to take care of her 3 sisters and little brother every Friday and Saturday night because her parents were more social than she was, apparently. It was actually kind of fun, and you wind up looking like a pro every night when they all get put to bed having dealt with all of that. And needless to say, that pays off very well for you.

Dating a single mom is way different than dating a girl who had to take care of her siblings only 2 times out of the week yo. That might've seemed like nothing to you but being a single parent is full-time job and it might get annoying that you don't get as much time with her as you want. Sure at first you don't mind but over the course of time you'll probably get tired of it.

OP Since you sound kind of hesitant you should forget about her. You say she's awesome but come on you should know there are other awesome girls out there ^_^. Also I said you sound hesitant but it seems like you want to give this a shot so if you feel like you should then do it but just don't get yourself hurt ^_^. Again my advice is stay away.