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Disclaimer: Probably not quality content, but it stops me from internalizing it.
Sort of part 5, but last part there was a bit of rage involved as well.
Yesterday we went skiing. I couldn't go to bed until like 4am two nights ago, was being sort of insomniacish. Was in bed since 11, but couldn't sleep. Mom woke me up at 5:30 to leave, and functioning on that little sleep I just was disoriented. It took me a while to get ready. My brother thought his ski bib didn't fit. It did, anyways there was a fight and my mom said we'd never go skiing again. So I go out to the car, and my mom makes me drive to get ready for the driving test, but I have so little sleep that I'm scared I"ll crash. Still make me drive :/ Finally they let me stop when we get gas, and I try to sleep the rest of the way there. My knee is bothering me, I still ski. My brother hurts his nose by crashing, mom gets mad she can't ski, I go to ski with my mom, her boot breaks. We return home at like 9:00, the only food I'd had that day was a thing of top ramen, my knee really hurts, and I collapse in bed at 10:00. But I can't sleep at all. SO I get up at like 12:00 to do something on the computer. My dad gets up and tells me to go to bed, and he needs to be awake in like 4.5 hours. And I get blamed for the fact that he wakes up to tell me to sleep :/
So I go to bed, can't sleep til like 5:00, and wake up at 11:00. Mom yells at me for waking up too late, and I get on the computer and check my email, look at tl for 10 minutes, then start writing notes for APUS. But oes noeses, I openeed tl like twice in two hours while doing this, so I"m multitasking, which is inherently bad. Have lunch... Start talking to a friend abouta chem concept I don't understand using skype, and hten we arrange to meet at her house. But my mom won't let her because her mom won't be there, and she doesn't want to come to my mom's house because last time she was here she got yelled at. So we keep on talking on skype and finally my mom yelled at my brother to practice bassoon. Then she came over to my computer, with my mic on, and just started lambasting me. Her first comment was "and here is your brother, the fucking worthless piece of shit". I said, well I'm sorry for multitasking blah blah blah, but she didn't care. She said I was just kicking her in the gut again and again, which I didn't understand how it applied. SHe put me into my room, turned off all the internet, said it wasn't punishment but was meant to help me in some way unbeknownst to me. I then started trying to talk to her about how even thoug hI may only get a 4.2 this semester, that it's not the end of the world, and I can still get into a relatively good shcool. She doesn't buy it, says i'll obviously get two Cs, in classes where I'd have to fail the finals to get Cs, and won't get any As, even though I'd only need lik ea 93 on the finals to get them.
And then she procedes to say how she's not helping me anymore, how I'mthe root of all of her problems.
Then she talks about how I 'm like my cousin's ex-husband, who was a major drunk and beat his wife.
Then she said I'd never get married because I'm basically an idiot, and socially awful. Says the lady who met her husband in the classifieds. And was my dad's first girlfriend. WHen he was 32. Lol.
She then concluded that I'd need to have a major blowup and fail at life before I improved, and ended it by saying I"m a fucking piece of shit. I said "I really can't take you calling me that anymore" She said that's the truth, you'rea fucking worthless piece of shit, if you can't take the truth leave.
![[image loading]](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/514Mj3P5BcL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg)
The book of the devil in my mom's philosophy
So I left, after taking a rash travis approach and calling her a psycopath. I'm at the library, I'll go to a friends' house in 10 minutes. I'm soaking wet fairly miserable, and fairly pissed that she would call me that.
(Maybe she is a psychopath, as the definition is on wikipedia, the term used for a personality disorder characterized by an abnormal lack of empathy combined with strongly amoral conduct but masked by an ability to appear outwardly normal.
 
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Your mom is straight up crazy and you should get away from her as soon as possible.
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Honestly i can't think of any words to describe your mother but as a " stereotypical uptight asian bitch". My advice is to seriously GTFO of that house, unless you're currently in the middle of the teenage habit of grossly exaggerating your problems.
If you aren't you should probably look into getting emancipated or something, i'm sure they would let you with grades that good.
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She does indeed sound wierd. Try to ignore her, always works the best vs parents.
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On December 29 2010 08:35 ghermination wrote:
Honestly i can't think of any words to describe your mother but as a " stereotypical uptight asian bitch". My advice is to seriously GTFO of that house, unless you're currently in the middle of the teenage habit of grossly exaggerating your problems.
If you aren't you should probably look into getting emancipated or something, i'm sure they would let you with grades that good.
In one sense I"m sure I'm making it sound pretty damn bad. But in another sense I'm not exaggerating anything in the sense of lieing so :/
@ Swedish poster above me whose name I forgot: If I ignore her she makes me listen to her and commit to something. If I don't she makes me sit there and listen to her.
I'm trying to turn all this anger into productivity, but last semester it just turned into counterproductive anger at her, and so much pressure on myself I crumbled.
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Wow dude, I thought my mom was crazy. Out of curiosity how old are you? My mom took away the internet til I was 18 if she wasn't awake. It sounds like she is scared you will make the same choices she made as a kid so she is trying desperately to stop you from even being confronted with those decisions, but she doesn't realize that she is pushing you away at the same time. One thing I did was slowly distance myself from my parents when i hit 16. When she calls don't answer the first time, (answer the second time or call her back). Man, idk what to do. Sorry :p
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On December 29 2010 08:38 darmousseh wrote:
Wow dude, I thought my mom was crazy. Out of curiosity how old are you? My mom took away the internet til I was 18 if she wasn't awake. It sounds like she is scared you will make the same choices she made as a kid so she is trying desperately to stop you from even being confronted with those decisions, but she doesn't realize that she is pushing you away at the same time. One thing I did was slowly distance myself from my parents when i hit 16. When she calls don't answer the first time, (answer the second time or call her back). Man, idk what to do. Sorry :p
My mom was like a little goddess. Her dad died, she helped her mom, she went to UCLA, then UCSF. She had lots of friends. She seems sto have lost most of them in her 20s though. I'm 16, and she's doing the same thing. But she goes to bed at 9:20 lol.
She sticks by that even if she is pushing me away that it doesn't matter cause it's her job to parent, not to be a friend.
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I've been reading all your blogs man, and while I'm a few years up the road from you and have the grace of hindsight to back me up the best thing I can tell you is to just sit it out, get your scholarship+LODGING OHDEARGOD GET LODGING and never talk to them again. My parents fell along the not giving a shit side of the road while yours give too much of a shit to the point they don't bother to think of you as a person anymore. They're just taking out their disappoint in their own shitty lameass lives out on you. Just don't fall into the stockholm syndrome bullshit where abused wives continue to 'love' their husbands. Don't love your parents, don't hate them either. Treat them as if they are nothing and in 5 years when they haven't heard a word from you nor seen you they'll 'possibly' gain some amount of empathy and guilt and will try to get in touch with you and act like nothing ever happened like you are their greatest joy and they're so fucking proud of you. But they don't remember, they can't remember how they treated you. But you do. Hold onto it, let them squirm, they don't deserve your sympathy or even pity nor your love. You've explained yourself, you've told them you hate this shit but they do it anyway, cause they could care less what their property has to say about it's conditions. Don't do the emancipation thing unless it gets into severe physical abuse, this way you can still milk them of their money and incentives. Anyway man, GL and don't let bitches get to you.
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16, man. When I was 16 i had no freedom at all. The way I got freedom was by participating in after school activities and stuff that took up time on the weekend. I played soccer and baseball (which let me stay out of the house until 6pm.) and on weekends i refereed soccer for money and played piano at the church. At 7 my dad would come home and complain and I would lock myself in my room to do homework or talk to girls. Playing video games was a weekend thing for me at that age.
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On December 29 2010 08:53 darmousseh wrote:
16, man. When I was 16 i had no freedom at all. The way I got freedom was by participating in after school activities and stuff that took up time on the weekend. I played soccer and baseball (which let me stay out of the house until 6pm.) and on weekends i refereed soccer for money and played piano at the church. At 7 my dad would come home and complain and I would lock myself in my room to do homework or talk to girls. Playing video games was a weekend thing for me at that age.
Same. lol But it's break right now so...
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Man that sucks. =\ I'll be honest, you should probably still head home though. Your family still sounds relatively well off and whatever just take the shit, get your school done, career started and etc. One thing's for sure, my family sure as fuck would never take me skiing.
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On December 29 2010 08:56 KissBlade wrote:
Man that sucks. =\ I'll be honest, you should probably still head home though. Your family still sounds relatively well off and whatever just take the shit, get your school done, career started and etc. One thing's for sure, my family sure as fuck would never take me skiing.
LOL. My mom loves skiing, so that's an activity we have to do lol.
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I tell you man I'd be outa that place pretty quick!
I thought I had it bad man I have nothing on the level of this sort of verbal aggression.
Hope you find some way through this and find a better environment.
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On December 29 2010 08:53 darmousseh wrote:
16, man. When I was 16 i had no freedom at all. The way I got freedom was by participating in after school activities and stuff that took up time on the weekend. I played soccer and baseball (which let me stay out of the house until 6pm.) and on weekends i refereed soccer for money and played piano at the church. At 7 my dad would come home and complain and I would lock myself in my room to do homework or talk to girls. Playing video games was a weekend thing for me at that age.
Wow this sounds horrible, like torture. I really appreciate my parents now, letting me do whatever I want as soon as I was around 15.
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just curious what are you planning on majoring in during college? Once you get out of college and look for a job it really doesn't matter which college you went to but how much you know compared to your competition. You seem like a really smart person so your already ahead of the game. Im sure you could get some free ride to some college even if its not a TOP TIER college. Anyways what im trying to say is take some pride no matter what your parents say your no doubt going to succeed. So do it without their help.
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Haha man this is awesome, reminds me of the good ol' days. You need to let her words slide off you like it's water down plastic. I became so unaffected by what my parents said that they had to up the ante and come up with the craziest shit to say in their struggle to get me to react. They have failed every single time. It's like a game for me now. You win by not reacting. It's obviously easier said than done, but leaving to the library in anger means you lost the battle today. No problem! The good thing is they're not going to stop trying, so you get infinity rematches. Try again tomorrow. The sooner you're numb to it the better your life is going to be.
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On December 29 2010 12:04 Zim23 wrote:
Haha man this is awesome, reminds me of the good ol' days. You need to let her words slide off you like it's water down plastic. I became so unaffected by what my parents said that they had to up the ante and come up with the craziest shit to say in their struggle to get me to react. They have failed every single time. It's like a game for me now. You win by not reacting. It's obviously easier said than done, but leaving to the library in anger means you lost the battle today. No problem! The good thing is they're not going to stop trying, so you get infinity rematches. Try again tomorrow. The sooner you're numb to it the better your life is going to be.
I've said this again and again. I act numb to it. Become apathetic. They make me stay up til 3am listening to bullshit.
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I'll major in compsci or business. I should get into most UCs, my gpa will be 4.0+
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On December 29 2010 12:13 Froadac wrote:Show nested quote +On December 29 2010 12:04 Zim23 wrote:
Haha man this is awesome, reminds me of the good ol' days. You need to let her words slide off you like it's water down plastic. I became so unaffected by what my parents said that they had to up the ante and come up with the craziest shit to say in their struggle to get me to react. They have failed every single time. It's like a game for me now. You win by not reacting. It's obviously easier said than done, but leaving to the library in anger means you lost the battle today. No problem! The good thing is they're not going to stop trying, so you get infinity rematches. Try again tomorrow. The sooner you're numb to it the better your life is going to be. I've said this again and again. I act numb to it. Become apathetic. They make me stay up til 3am listening to bullshit.
I don't act numb to it, I am numb to it. Let them make you stay up, let them talk until they're blue in the face. I'm not saying to ignore them, act like you're listening, in your head ignore them, and don't react in anger ever. Respond to the normal stuff they say and pretend they never threw out those insults. Example: You useless shit, why aren't you doing work? You're a complete failure. Your response: Yeah I should probably do some work. < completely ignored the insults. Being confrontational is always bad.
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On December 29 2010 12:34 Zim23 wrote:Show nested quote +On December 29 2010 12:13 Froadac wrote:On December 29 2010 12:04 Zim23 wrote:
Haha man this is awesome, reminds me of the good ol' days. You need to let her words slide off you like it's water down plastic. I became so unaffected by what my parents said that they had to up the ante and come up with the craziest shit to say in their struggle to get me to react. They have failed every single time. It's like a game for me now. You win by not reacting. It's obviously easier said than done, but leaving to the library in anger means you lost the battle today. No problem! The good thing is they're not going to stop trying, so you get infinity rematches. Try again tomorrow. The sooner you're numb to it the better your life is going to be. I've said this again and again. I act numb to it. Become apathetic. They make me stay up til 3am listening to bullshit. I don't act numb to it, I am numb to it. Let them make you stay up, let them talk until they're blue in the face. I'm not saying to ignore them, act like you're listening, in your head ignore them, and don't react in anger ever. Respond to the normal stuff they say and pretend they never threw out those insults. Example: You useless shit, why aren't you doing work? You're a complete failure. Your response: Yeah I should probably do some work. < completely ignored the insults. Being confrontational is always bad.
Yeah. Issue is if I say, fine, I should probably do some work, they say I'm obviously bullshitting :/
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EPT
