Disclaimer: Probably not quality content, but it stops me from internalizing it. Sort of part 5, but last part there was a bit of rage involved as well.
Yesterday we went skiing. I couldn't go to bed until like 4am two nights ago, was being sort of insomniacish. Was in bed since 11, but couldn't sleep. Mom woke me up at 5:30 to leave, and functioning on that little sleep I just was disoriented. It took me a while to get ready. My brother thought his ski bib didn't fit. It did, anyways there was a fight and my mom said we'd never go skiing again. So I go out to the car, and my mom makes me drive to get ready for the driving test, but I have so little sleep that I'm scared I"ll crash. Still make me drive :/ Finally they let me stop when we get gas, and I try to sleep the rest of the way there. My knee is bothering me, I still ski. My brother hurts his nose by crashing, mom gets mad she can't ski, I go to ski with my mom, her boot breaks. We return home at like 9:00, the only food I'd had that day was a thing of top ramen, my knee really hurts, and I collapse in bed at 10:00. But I can't sleep at all. SO I get up at like 12:00 to do something on the computer. My dad gets up and tells me to go to bed, and he needs to be awake in like 4.5 hours. And I get blamed for the fact that he wakes up to tell me to sleep :/
So I go to bed, can't sleep til like 5:00, and wake up at 11:00. Mom yells at me for waking up too late, and I get on the computer and check my email, look at tl for 10 minutes, then start writing notes for APUS. But oes noeses, I openeed tl like twice in two hours while doing this, so I"m multitasking, which is inherently bad. Have lunch... Start talking to a friend abouta chem concept I don't understand using skype, and hten we arrange to meet at her house. But my mom won't let her because her mom won't be there, and she doesn't want to come to my mom's house because last time she was here she got yelled at. So we keep on talking on skype and finally my mom yelled at my brother to practice bassoon. Then she came over to my computer, with my mic on, and just started lambasting me. Her first comment was "and here is your brother, the fucking worthless piece of shit". I said, well I'm sorry for multitasking blah blah blah, but she didn't care. She said I was just kicking her in the gut again and again, which I didn't understand how it applied. SHe put me into my room, turned off all the internet, said it wasn't punishment but was meant to help me in some way unbeknownst to me. I then started trying to talk to her about how even thoug hI may only get a 4.2 this semester, that it's not the end of the world, and I can still get into a relatively good shcool. She doesn't buy it, says i'll obviously get two Cs, in classes where I'd have to fail the finals to get Cs, and won't get any As, even though I'd only need lik ea 93 on the finals to get them.
And then she procedes to say how she's not helping me anymore, how I'mthe root of all of her problems.
Then she talks about how I 'm like my cousin's ex-husband, who was a major drunk and beat his wife.
Then she said I'd never get married because I'm basically an idiot, and socially awful. Says the lady who met her husband in the classifieds. And was my dad's first girlfriend. WHen he was 32. Lol.
She then concluded that I'd need to have a major blowup and fail at life before I improved, and ended it by saying I"m a fucking piece of shit. I said "I really can't take you calling me that anymore" She said that's the truth, you'rea fucking worthless piece of shit, if you can't take the truth leave.
The book of the devil in my mom's philosophy
So I left, after taking a rash travis approach and calling her a psycopath. I'm at the library, I'll go to a friends' house in 10 minutes. I'm soaking wet fairly miserable, and fairly pissed that she would call me that.
(Maybe she is a psychopath, as the definition is on wikipedia, the term used for a personality disorder characterized by an abnormal lack of empathy combined with strongly amoral conduct but masked by an ability to appear outwardly normal.
Honestly i can't think of any words to describe your mother but as a " stereotypical uptight asian bitch". My advice is to seriously GTFO of that house, unless you're currently in the middle of the teenage habit of grossly exaggerating your problems.
If you aren't you should probably look into getting emancipated or something, i'm sure they would let you with grades that good.
On December 29 2010 08:35 ghermination wrote: Honestly i can't think of any words to describe your mother but as a " stereotypical uptight asian bitch". My advice is to seriously GTFO of that house, unless you're currently in the middle of the teenage habit of grossly exaggerating your problems.
If you aren't you should probably look into getting emancipated or something, i'm sure they would let you with grades that good.
In one sense I"m sure I'm making it sound pretty damn bad. But in another sense I'm not exaggerating anything in the sense of lieing so :/
@ Swedish poster above me whose name I forgot: If I ignore her she makes me listen to her and commit to something. If I don't she makes me sit there and listen to her.
I'm trying to turn all this anger into productivity, but last semester it just turned into counterproductive anger at her, and so much pressure on myself I crumbled.
Wow dude, I thought my mom was crazy. Out of curiosity how old are you? My mom took away the internet til I was 18 if she wasn't awake. It sounds like she is scared you will make the same choices she made as a kid so she is trying desperately to stop you from even being confronted with those decisions, but she doesn't realize that she is pushing you away at the same time. One thing I did was slowly distance myself from my parents when i hit 16. When she calls don't answer the first time, (answer the second time or call her back). Man, idk what to do. Sorry :p
On December 29 2010 08:38 darmousseh wrote: Wow dude, I thought my mom was crazy. Out of curiosity how old are you? My mom took away the internet til I was 18 if she wasn't awake. It sounds like she is scared you will make the same choices she made as a kid so she is trying desperately to stop you from even being confronted with those decisions, but she doesn't realize that she is pushing you away at the same time. One thing I did was slowly distance myself from my parents when i hit 16. When she calls don't answer the first time, (answer the second time or call her back). Man, idk what to do. Sorry :p
My mom was like a little goddess. Her dad died, she helped her mom, she went to UCLA, then UCSF. She had lots of friends. She seems sto have lost most of them in her 20s though. I'm 16, and she's doing the same thing. But she goes to bed at 9:20 lol.
She sticks by that even if she is pushing me away that it doesn't matter cause it's her job to parent, not to be a friend.
I've been reading all your blogs man, and while I'm a few years up the road from you and have the grace of hindsight to back me up the best thing I can tell you is to just sit it out, get your scholarship+LODGING OHDEARGOD GET LODGING and never talk to them again. My parents fell along the not giving a shit side of the road while yours give too much of a shit to the point they don't bother to think of you as a person anymore. They're just taking out their disappoint in their own shitty lameass lives out on you. Just don't fall into the stockholm syndrome bullshit where abused wives continue to 'love' their husbands. Don't love your parents, don't hate them either. Treat them as if they are nothing and in 5 years when they haven't heard a word from you nor seen you they'll 'possibly' gain some amount of empathy and guilt and will try to get in touch with you and act like nothing ever happened like you are their greatest joy and they're so fucking proud of you. But they don't remember, they can't remember how they treated you. But you do. Hold onto it, let them squirm, they don't deserve your sympathy or even pity nor your love. You've explained yourself, you've told them you hate this shit but they do it anyway, cause they could care less what their property has to say about it's conditions. Don't do the emancipation thing unless it gets into severe physical abuse, this way you can still milk them of their money and incentives. Anyway man, GL and don't let bitches get to you.
16, man. When I was 16 i had no freedom at all. The way I got freedom was by participating in after school activities and stuff that took up time on the weekend. I played soccer and baseball (which let me stay out of the house until 6pm.) and on weekends i refereed soccer for money and played piano at the church. At 7 my dad would come home and complain and I would lock myself in my room to do homework or talk to girls. Playing video games was a weekend thing for me at that age.
On December 29 2010 08:53 darmousseh wrote: 16, man. When I was 16 i had no freedom at all. The way I got freedom was by participating in after school activities and stuff that took up time on the weekend. I played soccer and baseball (which let me stay out of the house until 6pm.) and on weekends i refereed soccer for money and played piano at the church. At 7 my dad would come home and complain and I would lock myself in my room to do homework or talk to girls. Playing video games was a weekend thing for me at that age.
Man that sucks. =\ I'll be honest, you should probably still head home though. Your family still sounds relatively well off and whatever just take the shit, get your school done, career started and etc. One thing's for sure, my family sure as fuck would never take me skiing.
On December 29 2010 08:56 KissBlade wrote: Man that sucks. =\ I'll be honest, you should probably still head home though. Your family still sounds relatively well off and whatever just take the shit, get your school done, career started and etc. One thing's for sure, my family sure as fuck would never take me skiing.
LOL. My mom loves skiing, so that's an activity we have to do lol.
On December 29 2010 08:53 darmousseh wrote: 16, man. When I was 16 i had no freedom at all. The way I got freedom was by participating in after school activities and stuff that took up time on the weekend. I played soccer and baseball (which let me stay out of the house until 6pm.) and on weekends i refereed soccer for money and played piano at the church. At 7 my dad would come home and complain and I would lock myself in my room to do homework or talk to girls. Playing video games was a weekend thing for me at that age.
Wow this sounds horrible, like torture. I really appreciate my parents now, letting me do whatever I want as soon as I was around 15.
just curious what are you planning on majoring in during college? Once you get out of college and look for a job it really doesn't matter which college you went to but how much you know compared to your competition. You seem like a really smart person so your already ahead of the game. Im sure you could get some free ride to some college even if its not a TOP TIER college. Anyways what im trying to say is take some pride no matter what your parents say your no doubt going to succeed. So do it without their help.
Haha man this is awesome, reminds me of the good ol' days. You need to let her words slide off you like it's water down plastic. I became so unaffected by what my parents said that they had to up the ante and come up with the craziest shit to say in their struggle to get me to react. They have failed every single time. It's like a game for me now. You win by not reacting. It's obviously easier said than done, but leaving to the library in anger means you lost the battle today. No problem! The good thing is they're not going to stop trying, so you get infinity rematches. Try again tomorrow. The sooner you're numb to it the better your life is going to be.
On December 29 2010 12:04 Zim23 wrote: Haha man this is awesome, reminds me of the good ol' days. You need to let her words slide off you like it's water down plastic. I became so unaffected by what my parents said that they had to up the ante and come up with the craziest shit to say in their struggle to get me to react. They have failed every single time. It's like a game for me now. You win by not reacting. It's obviously easier said than done, but leaving to the library in anger means you lost the battle today. No problem! The good thing is they're not going to stop trying, so you get infinity rematches. Try again tomorrow. The sooner you're numb to it the better your life is going to be.
I've said this again and again. I act numb to it. Become apathetic. They make me stay up til 3am listening to bullshit.
On December 29 2010 12:04 Zim23 wrote: Haha man this is awesome, reminds me of the good ol' days. You need to let her words slide off you like it's water down plastic. I became so unaffected by what my parents said that they had to up the ante and come up with the craziest shit to say in their struggle to get me to react. They have failed every single time. It's like a game for me now. You win by not reacting. It's obviously easier said than done, but leaving to the library in anger means you lost the battle today. No problem! The good thing is they're not going to stop trying, so you get infinity rematches. Try again tomorrow. The sooner you're numb to it the better your life is going to be.
I've said this again and again. I act numb to it. Become apathetic. They make me stay up til 3am listening to bullshit.
I don't act numb to it, I am numb to it. Let them make you stay up, let them talk until they're blue in the face. I'm not saying to ignore them, act like you're listening, in your head ignore them, and don't react in anger ever. Respond to the normal stuff they say and pretend they never threw out those insults. Example: You useless shit, why aren't you doing work? You're a complete failure. Your response: Yeah I should probably do some work. < completely ignored the insults. Being confrontational is always bad.
On December 29 2010 12:04 Zim23 wrote: Haha man this is awesome, reminds me of the good ol' days. You need to let her words slide off you like it's water down plastic. I became so unaffected by what my parents said that they had to up the ante and come up with the craziest shit to say in their struggle to get me to react. They have failed every single time. It's like a game for me now. You win by not reacting. It's obviously easier said than done, but leaving to the library in anger means you lost the battle today. No problem! The good thing is they're not going to stop trying, so you get infinity rematches. Try again tomorrow. The sooner you're numb to it the better your life is going to be.
I've said this again and again. I act numb to it. Become apathetic. They make me stay up til 3am listening to bullshit.
I don't act numb to it, I am numb to it. Let them make you stay up, let them talk until they're blue in the face. I'm not saying to ignore them, act like you're listening, in your head ignore them, and don't react in anger ever. Respond to the normal stuff they say and pretend they never threw out those insults. Example: You useless shit, why aren't you doing work? You're a complete failure. Your response: Yeah I should probably do some work. < completely ignored the insults. Being confrontational is always bad.
Yeah. Issue is if I say, fine, I should probably do some work, they say I'm obviously bullshitting :/
Man I would tell your mom to go fuck herself, and then pack your shit, I had to a few times because my parents were so controlling, but after they realized I didn't need them anymore they backed off for the most part. I know how you feel man, and went through very similar shit with my parents and it continued past my 20's because I was working with my dad. Growing up nothing I ever did was really "right". School, housework, chores or projects, my mom or dad always had to tell me that I didn't do a very good job or that I could have done it better, and they would "fix" it for me. It fucked with me mentally, and still haunts me sometimes. ( I feel like even if I have put alot of time or effort into something, that somethings missing or I didn't do that good of a job.) The sooner you seperate yourself from the bullshit your parents are trying to pull, the better. Live with a friend or whatever you gotta do, just don't go home for a few weeks, if your Mom ever tells you are a peice of shit again, I would fucking lose it. I MEAN LOSE IT, rage everything that you have to rage right back at her and then leave, and don't come back.
On December 29 2010 12:04 Zim23 wrote: Haha man this is awesome, reminds me of the good ol' days. You need to let her words slide off you like it's water down plastic. I became so unaffected by what my parents said that they had to up the ante and come up with the craziest shit to say in their struggle to get me to react. They have failed every single time. It's like a game for me now. You win by not reacting. It's obviously easier said than done, but leaving to the library in anger means you lost the battle today. No problem! The good thing is they're not going to stop trying, so you get infinity rematches. Try again tomorrow. The sooner you're numb to it the better your life is going to be.
I've said this again and again. I act numb to it. Become apathetic. They make me stay up til 3am listening to bullshit.
I don't act numb to it, I am numb to it. Let them make you stay up, let them talk until they're blue in the face. I'm not saying to ignore them, act like you're listening, in your head ignore them, and don't react in anger ever. Respond to the normal stuff they say and pretend they never threw out those insults. Example: You useless shit, why aren't you doing work? You're a complete failure. Your response: Yeah I should probably do some work. < completely ignored the insults. Being confrontational is always bad.
Yeah. Issue is if I say, fine, I should probably do some work, they say I'm obviously bullshitting :/
Yeah them saying you're bullshitting is another example of an insult that should be ignored. It's not as easy as it sounds, but it's so doable. Eventually you figure out what to say to defuse them, and at the same time you figure out what sets them off. Again, not going to happen overnight, but you gotta start somewhere. Gonna stop polluting the thread. We can PM for any further discussion.
The above post is OK if you want to lose your relationship with your parents. I didn't want to do that so I learned how to live with it.
The above post is OK if you want to lose your relationship with your parents. I didn't want to do that so I learned how to live with it.
My relationship with my parents is great now, I don't live anywhere near them, we see each other regularly and get along fine. If you stop putting up with thier bullshit, they will stop dishing it out. Learning to "live with it" is the easy way out. Demand some respect.
On December 29 2010 12:04 Zim23 wrote: Haha man this is awesome, reminds me of the good ol' days. You need to let her words slide off you like it's water down plastic. I became so unaffected by what my parents said that they had to up the ante and come up with the craziest shit to say in their struggle to get me to react. They have failed every single time. It's like a game for me now. You win by not reacting. It's obviously easier said than done, but leaving to the library in anger means you lost the battle today. No problem! The good thing is they're not going to stop trying, so you get infinity rematches. Try again tomorrow. The sooner you're numb to it the better your life is going to be.
I've said this again and again. I act numb to it. Become apathetic. They make me stay up til 3am listening to bullshit.
I don't act numb to it, I am numb to it. Let them make you stay up, let them talk until they're blue in the face. I'm not saying to ignore them, act like you're listening, in your head ignore them, and don't react in anger ever. Respond to the normal stuff they say and pretend they never threw out those insults. Example: You useless shit, why aren't you doing work? You're a complete failure. Your response: Yeah I should probably do some work. < completely ignored the insults. Being confrontational is always bad.
Yeah. Issue is if I say, fine, I should probably do some work, they say I'm obviously bullshitting :/
Yeah them saying you're bullshitting is another example of an insult that should be ignored. It's not as easy as it sounds, but it's so doable. Eventually you figure out what to say to defuse them, and at the same time you figure out what sets them off. Again, not going to happen overnight, but you gotta start somewhere. Gonna stop polluting the thread. We can PM for any further discussion.
The above post is OK if you want to lose your relationship with your parents. I didn't want to do that so I learned how to live with it.
It may mean your situation wasn't bad enough to break contacts. It probably means there were good things in your relations, other than listening to bullshit. And if there are good things in Froadac's situation they most probably aren't worth being called a worthless piece of shit. Can you please tell me what made you endure in your situation?
If getting money for college is the only thing holding him there, it can be done by suing them and they will have to pay whether they like it or not. I didn't sue my father only because I did not want nor need his money. Will post about that once I'm done writing.
Holy shit I wrote like 3 or 4 pages of text and I'm still not finished. I will paste this for the time being, I need to to go to sleep:
I should write about this before going on my comment in the part 5 because there are differences in your situation now and my back then, thus making them slightly different situations. There are things that need different approach because of that. Long story short, fuck, there is no need to clarify anything O_O You aren't held back by guilt and doubts (as much) as I was so you don't need to go through the maze they create - trying to understand what is wrong with them and trying to make things better by talking with them. You can go directly to limiting and hopefully, completely eliminating from your life the abusive bullshit they make you endure.
This is the first and only part I've read, so I apologize but I need to ask the obvious: how old are you?
Regardless, you need to get the fuck out of there. Trust me, I've seen and dealt with too many of these situations to know exactly how this could end. You need to pack your shit and leave. I know too many people exactly like your mother (my mom was that type also) to know how this plays out.
You need to get out of there, and you need to do it before things degenerate to a point where they are no longer salvageable. Whether or not you want to break all ties is up to you, a lot of people seem to think family is sacred and worth keeping up with no matter what they did, but I don't subscribe by that nonsense. Not even your own parents. But no matter what kind of gameplan you want to go by, to repair things with your parents or else make it on your own or whatever, you're not going to be able to do anything until you get some breathing space, and that's not going to happen while you're still there.
Also, be careful with the "ignore them" strategy. Some people get really good at that and the incessant bitching of their parents becomes just white noise, but I've seen too many domestic cases to know it doesn't always play like that for everyone, and you don't want to be one of the cases where something drastic happens.
I just hope that situation you are in will not fucked you up and you will stay awesome. Cause you are awesome, we all on TL are awesome and it better stay that way. Maybe this will change you and when you will be big boy and have kids you will love em and protect em from people like your mom.
Or your mom just need someone to talk with. like friends or you. maybe all that bitching is "calling for a help" and its way how to keep with you. And yea sometimes i got this psycho ideas sorry :D
Grow a fucking spine and tell her to fuck the fuck off. It's seriously making me angry just thinking of you just sitting there and listening to her tell you this crap and you just taking it. You have to stand up for yourself, I would be SCREAMING my throat out if I had to put up with what you have (I have read all you blogs). No human being deserves to live like that, it isn't fucking right. You're a god damn human being you should be treated like one, not a studying pet for your parents.
Did matters start to deteriorate only recently (i.e. this year or so), or has it always been crazy to this degree, and you've recently started to stop taking so kindly to such flagrant parental verbal abuse?
On December 30 2010 10:05 Froadac wrote: She is fucking psycho right now. Reiterated that I'm definitely a fucking useless piece of shit. Then posted on facebook I'd shit on the floor.
She accused me of delinquency, and when I countered by saying I could be smoking and drinking she said it doesn't matter what others do.
Dude... I wrote the last PM without refreshing your blog so I didn't read this. This is breaking law right there. You definitely need to find a psychologist and I'm thinking hard if police psychologist will be the best option. Wiki has a list of US Police departments http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._state_and_local_law_enforcement_agencies Find yours and look for the contact info. Even if wiki has only names and doesn't have contact information to them, google should give you the results. This is batshit insane!
On December 29 2010 08:53 darmousseh wrote: 16, man. When I was 16 i had no freedom at all. The way I got freedom was by participating in after school activities and stuff that took up time on the weekend. I played soccer and baseball (which let me stay out of the house until 6pm.) and on weekends i refereed soccer for money and played piano at the church. At 7 my dad would come home and complain and I would lock myself in my room to do homework or talk to girls. Playing video games was a weekend thing for me at that age.
Wow this sounds horrible, like torture. I really appreciate my parents now, letting me do whatever I want as soon as I was around 15.
I know the point of this thread is to QQ and have people sympathize, but I find your mother to be perfectly normal. You see, unlike the stereotypical caucasian and most likely American parent, your mother actually cares about your mark and where you go for post secondary education. Although it seems like your mom is unsupportive with her put downs, she is merely trying to motivate you through her rage and fury.
EDIT: I read some people's response and many people recommend GTFO or telling her to get out of your face. To be honest, neither of these are viable choices. Lets go with the GTFO option; how are you going to pay for your post-secondary education? Your mother (BOOM! baby!). Now lets go with telling her to fuck off. Too crass. I recommend talking to her CALMLY. Talk about how you feel about your current situation. It must not degrade into "My life is terrible because of you!" drama.
On December 30 2010 17:50 The_LiNk wrote: I know the point of this thread is to QQ and have people sympathize, but I find your mother to be perfectly normal. You see, unlike the stereotypical caucasian and most likely American parent, your mother actually cares about your mark and where you go for post secondary education. Although it seems like your mom is unsupportive with her put downs, she is merely trying to motivate you through her rage and fury.
EDIT: I read some people's response and many people recommend GTFO or telling her to get out of your face. To be honest, neither of these are viable choices. Lets go with the GTFO option; how are you going to pay for your post-secondary education? Your mother (BOOM! baby!). Now lets go with telling her to fuck off. Too crass. I recommend talking to her CALMLY. Talk about how you feel about your current situation. It must not degrade into "My life is terrible because of you!" drama.
Yeah, a parent that calls you a piece of shit isn't a good parent in the least bit. I don't care what you say. What the fuck is that supposed to do? Motivate the kid to get better grades than a 4.2 GPA? No, it does the exact opposite. It makes the kid believe he or she is a piece of shit and then their life just goes down hill from there. That's what happened to me in college these past 2 semesters. I'm called a lazy piece of shit all the time because I choose to go to bed at 4-5 am and wake up at 2 pm. It doesn't impact my parents lives in the least bit, but because it's not "normal" then something's wrong with me and I'm lazy. The fact that I only had 3 days of classes this semester sent them over the edge too. Never mind the fact that the 3 days were almost all day 9-5. The verbal abuse took its toll this semester. I just failed my first class, ever.
Every time my parents just say that to me now, I tell them to fuck off (in a kind way, I don't say those words). I haven't been more distant with my parents than right now to be honest. All the verbal abuse has made me just not care. The one thing that's motivating me right now is getting the hell out of this house. I'm now going to take summer classes just to get my degree that much faster and just leave. Although they have gotten better lately, so it hasn't been that bad. We haven't had many arguments and we've actually been getting along like a family, so I guess there's that.
Honestly OP, get the hell out. That's my 2 cents. If my friends weren't such leeches and leeched off their parents all the time, then I would definitely be gone. Living is NJ is just freaking expensive and I can't afford it on my own. Now, with 2-3 other people, it would be perfect.
On December 30 2010 17:50 The_LiNk wrote: I know the point of this thread is to QQ and have people sympathize, but I find your mother to be perfectly normal. You see, unlike the stereotypical caucasian and most likely American parent, your mother actually cares about your mark and where you go for post secondary education. Although it seems like your mom is unsupportive with her put downs, she is merely trying to motivate you through her rage and fury.
EDIT: I read some people's response and many people recommend GTFO or telling her to get out of your face. To be honest, neither of these are viable choices. Lets go with the GTFO option; how are you going to pay for your post-secondary education? Your mother (BOOM! baby!). Now lets go with telling her to fuck off. Too crass. I recommend talking to her CALMLY. Talk about how you feel about your current situation. It must not degrade into "My life is terrible because of you!" drama.
There's a difference between being strict and being an asshole.
On December 30 2010 17:50 The_LiNk wrote: I know the point of this thread is to QQ and have people sympathize, but I find your mother to be perfectly normal. You see, unlike the stereotypical caucasian and most likely American parent, your mother actually cares about your mark and where you go for post secondary education. Although it seems like your mom is unsupportive with her put downs, she is merely trying to motivate you through her rage and fury.
EDIT: I read some people's response and many people recommend GTFO or telling her to get out of your face. To be honest, neither of these are viable choices. Lets go with the GTFO option; how are you going to pay for your post-secondary education? Your mother (BOOM! baby!). Now lets go with telling her to fuck off. Too crass. I recommend talking to her CALMLY. Talk about how you feel about your current situation. It must not degrade into "My life is terrible because of you!" drama.
Sounds like the same thing that happened to the OP happened to you too, and you have become so brainwashed by it you think it's a normal and good thing for parents to act this way. Don't end up like guy OP, GTFO while you can and/or make your voice heard, let them know what they are doing is having a negative impact on your academics and LIFE IN GENERAL (this is the more important one).
On December 30 2010 17:50 The_LiNk wrote: I know the point of this thread is to QQ and have people sympathize, but I find your mother to be perfectly normal. You see, unlike the stereotypical caucasian and most likely American parent, your mother actually cares about your mark and where you go for post secondary education. Although it seems like your mom is unsupportive with her put downs, she is merely trying to motivate you through her rage and fury.
How about this one: She's angry about something else, possibly related to her own perceived failure in life. She wants to hurt someone and her kid is the obvious choice because she has so much power over him. Being angry over schoolwork is socially acceptable, which lets her get away with more than she could ever hope to over any other issue.
This might not be the case, but I it's actually much more likely than her doing this because she cares so much about him.
Start acting like an adult and you'll start being treated like one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like your 100% dependent on your parents, and your only responsibility towards them is maintaining a good mark. While honestly your mom is a bit of a psycho, its a quite understandable mindset they have.
Count your lucky stars. By the sound of it, they aren't physically abusive, so start by distancing yourself from them and asserting your independence, and just ignoring them to the best of your ability. Get a job, cook your own food, etc.
On December 31 2010 04:20 Half wrote: Start acting like an adult and you'll start being treated like one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like your 100% dependent on your parents, and your only responsibility towards them is maintaining a good mark. While honestly your mom is a bit of a psycho, its a quite understandable mindset they have.
Count your lucky stars. By the sound of it, they aren't physically abusive, so start by distancing yourself from them and asserting your independence, and just ignoring them to the best of your ability. Get a job, cook your own food, etc.
So what is yours story? You got called a worthless piece of shit and replied with "don't make me dinner, I'll cook my own" and it solved the problem? How is getting a job supposed to help him when he is 16 and has yet to get to a college?
When they became parents they automaticly took the responisbilities that come with it. Cooking a dinner, and other "lucky stars" are their responsibilities and not an excuse to say and do whatever the fuck they want.
On December 31 2010 04:20 Half wrote: Start acting like an adult and you'll start being treated like one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like your 100% dependent on your parents, and your only responsibility towards them is maintaining a good mark. While honestly your mom is a bit of a psycho, its a quite understandable mindset they have.
Count your lucky stars. By the sound of it, they aren't physically abusive, so start by distancing yourself from them and asserting your independence, and just ignoring them to the best of your ability. Get a job, cook your own food, etc.
So what is yours story? You got called a worthless piece of shit and replied with "don't make me dinner, I'll cook my own" and it solved the problem? How is getting a job supposed to help him when he is 16 and has yet to get to a college?
You can have jobs in the evenings or the weekends, but I agree it's more his mom being a psycho lol.
On December 31 2010 04:20 Half wrote: Start acting like an adult and you'll start being treated like one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like your 100% dependent on your parents, and your only responsibility towards them is maintaining a good mark. While honestly your mom is a bit of a psycho, its a quite understandable mindset they have.
Count your lucky stars. By the sound of it, they aren't physically abusive, so start by distancing yourself from them and asserting your independence, and just ignoring them to the best of your ability. Get a job, cook your own food, etc.
So what is yours story? You got called a worthless piece of shit and replied with "don't make me dinner, I'll cook my own" and it solved the problem? How is getting a job supposed to help him when he is 16 and has yet to get to a college?
You can have jobs in the evenings or the weekends, but I agree it's more his mom being a psycho lol.
I would like a job actually. But my mom says I can't get one until my grades are better, demonstrating responsibility.
Also we always eat dinner together, and I make dinner like wtwice a week for the family. I'm sure my mom would be somewhat upset if I only cooked for myself, and would take it more as insult to cooking than self sufficiency.
On December 31 2010 04:20 Half wrote: Start acting like an adult and you'll start being treated like one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like your 100% dependent on your parents, and your only responsibility towards them is maintaining a good mark. While honestly your mom is a bit of a psycho, its a quite understandable mindset they have.
Count your lucky stars. By the sound of it, they aren't physically abusive, so start by distancing yourself from them and asserting your independence, and just ignoring them to the best of your ability. Get a job, cook your own food, etc.
Wow, between going from blaming a kid for being dependant on his parents to saying it's understandable for parents to be complete bitches to saying someone is "lucky" their parents aren't abusive in every angle, I don't even know where to begin on how wrong this post is.
That's a great attitude you have there though. Maybe we should just tell every child abuse victim to start "acting like an adult" and to "assert their independence".
In 2 days in a row I stopped writing about my case when I tried to write about the worst thing my father did. I just couldn't keep on writing, I had to do something else. For me what he said is so surreal I'm scared I would get accused of telling lies here. He didn't say it directly to me but did not deny it once I asked. Not only that, I was shocked how cold and condescending he was in his response, how he didn't see anything wrong with it. His belief in me doing things, even smiling (when I wasn't) just to piss him off was alarming and for a long time was one of the things that kept me under his control. But how the fuck did he come up with an idea that I would try to: attempt committing suicide by drinking alcohol only to anger him, only to make him furious? How the fuck did this cross his mind?
He was so full of himself he called me some time later and asked what's up, because he thought I would just change my mind and be cool.
The weirdest thing I've done in my life about 1,5 years later, in flat my sister was living, was watching live Korean BW and explaining him what was going on in the game once he showed up there and asked.
On December 31 2010 04:20 Half wrote: Start acting like an adult and you'll start being treated like one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like your 100% dependent on your parents, and your only responsibility towards them is maintaining a good mark. While honestly your mom is a bit of a psycho, its a quite understandable mindset they have.
Count your lucky stars. By the sound of it, they aren't physically abusive, so start by distancing yourself from them and asserting your independence, and just ignoring them to the best of your ability. Get a job, cook your own food, etc.
Wow, between going from blaming a kid for being dependant on his parents to saying it's understandable for parents to be complete bitches to saying someone is "lucky" their parents aren't abusive in every angle, I don't even know where to begin on how wrong this post is.
That's a great attitude you have there though. Maybe we should just tell every child abuse victim to start "acting like an adult" and to "assert their independence".
This, absolutely. I will repeat myself now: When they became parents they automaticly took the responsibilities that come with it. Cooking a dinner, and other "lucky stars" are their responsibilities and not an excuse to say and do whatever the fuck they want.
On December 31 2010 04:20 Half wrote: Start acting like an adult and you'll start being treated like one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like your 100% dependent on your parents, and your only responsibility towards them is maintaining a good mark. While honestly your mom is a bit of a psycho, its a quite understandable mindset they have.
Count your lucky stars. By the sound of it, they aren't physically abusive, so start by distancing yourself from them and asserting your independence, and just ignoring them to the best of your ability. Get a job, cook your own food, etc.
here comes the self righteous "oh im from china i > u " everyone duck
On December 31 2010 04:20 Half wrote: Start acting like an adult and you'll start being treated like one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like your 100% dependent on your parents, and your only responsibility towards them is maintaining a good mark. While honestly your mom is a bit of a psycho, its a quite understandable mindset they have.
Count your lucky stars. By the sound of it, they aren't physically abusive, so start by distancing yourself from them and asserting your independence, and just ignoring them to the best of your ability. Get a job, cook your own food, etc.
here comes the self righteous "oh im from china i > u " everyone duck
If your mums is down right degrading you constantly.... get the fuck out of there and find someone else like a relative to live with and get said relative to try and talk sense into your mum, also try taking up something to get your anger out like kickboxing or something so if she carries on you can roundhouse her when you move out as payback (Y) GL
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