Firstly I woke up at 7:10 during break, in order to have driving lessons. This went ok, but somehow I dropped my permit, so I’ll have to go to the DMV tomorrow to get it. Could take all day
But then the ridiculousness starts. I get home at 10:00 and the internet is off. All I want to do is look at sparknotes, but I can’t, evidently because my brother did something, which I still have no idea about.
My parents lectured me on working about how I need to work during break. It didn’t really make me happy: it’s the second day of break, I only need to read 40 pages of huck finn, take notes for APUS (Which I already have) and review some chem/calc for finals, in a month. Still no computer access, it’s raining cats nad dogs, so I can’t do anything with my friends. My friends are watching an R rated movie, so I can’t go. I sit in my room, half sleeping, half reading a college book. From 10:10 to 1:10. Three hours of what my parents wanted me to do. I come out at lunch: they ask me what fields I’ interested in. They all include math. I have a B in math. They take this time to berate my ability at math, and demand that I study for a few hours today. They repeatedly say “if you had better grades… but” and I just get more and more agitated. Finally, I’m on the computer with the internet on at 1:30, after working for over three hours during the second day of break. Start to boot team fortress 2. and. I get yelled at for not working enough. I’ve learned from the past arguing doesn’t work in these situations, so I calmly said, OK, whatever, I’ll just go to my room and study APUS. BUT instead
Writing break: I’m at the library and just talked to a couple friends who are going to Berkeley who I ran into by fluke there”
They demanded that I work like 6-7 horus a day, asked how long being on the computer was reasonable during break.
A little bit of background for this next point. In the summer between 9th and 10th grade my parents made me take a study skills class. The concept was decent, except for most people there were in danger of failing highschool, not not getting into Berkeley. One of the main points was to maintain a calendar with points, goals, and a list of things to do. Instead of doing it on a huge dry erase calendar I’ve been doing it on my itouch/google calendar so that my parents don’t know every little thing that’s going on in my life. On to the main point, my mom started yelling abut me not maintaining my huge whiteboard calendar, my lack of using of lists of taks to do (I have like 60 or so lists in a folder on my computer) and she then said “If you don’t take initiative I will” She said that because I didn’t study as much as I could have during last semester that during break I’ll need to make up for that. In fact, I’ll need to study 7 hours a day. During break. And I can’t touch a computer til I’ve finished all of that. How considerate…
I calmly said “imposing these restrictions isn’t a positive thing: you simply make me less efficient with my studying, less motivated to do so, and working seven hours a dy during break will simply make me burned out. My points fell upon deaf ears who insisted I work like this. They repeatedly asked “well how long is reasonable to be on the computer” I had no answer. I mean, it really depends on the situation. When one has math homework and a math test, very little is the answer, but during break, I think being on for longer isn’t a bad thing. I knew that they would attack my answer if it was too long, and impose a restriction of that length if I said a shorter length, so I said it was really an unfair question.
Then this is where things fall apart……. My dad starts yelling at me for not working hard enough, and being lazy, and running away from my problems. My mom and brother also turn upon me yelling about my incompetence. At this point, I was just abut to self desctruct. I walked out of the house… My dad followed me, refusing to leave my side, and repeatedly saying I was running away from my problems.
With a pun intended, I literally ran away from one of my problems down the street, through some brush, and onto a trail which heads to the library, where I am now. My brother texted me on behalf of my parents asking where I am, and I didn’t answer. I sent them an email saying I’d be back in three hours. I don’t know what to do. It’s my life, my break, I tried to be reasonable and failed. I just don’t know what to do, I’m lost, and I’m afraid what will happen when I go back home.
So lost, confused, and angry.