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FML. That’s the story of today :/
Firstly I woke up at 7:10 during break, in order to have driving lessons. This went ok, but somehow I dropped my permit, so I’ll have to go to the DMV tomorrow to get it. Could take all day
But then the ridiculousness starts. I get home at 10:00 and the internet is off. All I want to do is look at sparknotes, but I can’t, evidently because my brother did something, which I still have no idea about.
My parents lectured me on working about how I need to work during break. It didn’t really make me happy: it’s the second day of break, I only need to read 40 pages of huck finn, take notes for APUS (Which I already have) and review some chem/calc for finals, in a month. Still no computer access, it’s raining cats nad dogs, so I can’t do anything with my friends. My friends are watching an R rated movie, so I can’t go. I sit in my room, half sleeping, half reading a college book. From 10:10 to 1:10. Three hours of what my parents wanted me to do. I come out at lunch: they ask me what fields I’ interested in. They all include math. I have a B in math. They take this time to berate my ability at math, and demand that I study for a few hours today. They repeatedly say “if you had better grades… but” and I just get more and more agitated. Finally, I’m on the computer with the internet on at 1:30, after working for over three hours during the second day of break. Start to boot team fortress 2. and. I get yelled at for not working enough. I’ve learned from the past arguing doesn’t work in these situations, so I calmly said, OK, whatever, I’ll just go to my room and study APUS. BUT instead
Writing break: I’m at the library and just talked to a couple friends who are going to Berkeley who I ran into by fluke there”
They demanded that I work like 6-7 horus a day, asked how long being on the computer was reasonable during break.
A little bit of background for this next point. In the summer between 9th and 10th grade my parents made me take a study skills class. The concept was decent, except for most people there were in danger of failing highschool, not not getting into Berkeley. One of the main points was to maintain a calendar with points, goals, and a list of things to do. Instead of doing it on a huge dry erase calendar I’ve been doing it on my itouch/google calendar so that my parents don’t know every little thing that’s going on in my life. On to the main point, my mom started yelling abut me not maintaining my huge whiteboard calendar, my lack of using of lists of taks to do (I have like 60 or so lists in a folder on my computer) and she then said “If you don’t take initiative I will” She said that because I didn’t study as much as I could have during last semester that during break I’ll need to make up for that. In fact, I’ll need to study 7 hours a day. During break. And I can’t touch a computer til I’ve finished all of that. How considerate…
I calmly said “imposing these restrictions isn’t a positive thing: you simply make me less efficient with my studying, less motivated to do so, and working seven hours a dy during break will simply make me burned out. My points fell upon deaf ears who insisted I work like this. They repeatedly asked “well how long is reasonable to be on the computer” I had no answer. I mean, it really depends on the situation. When one has math homework and a math test, very little is the answer, but during break, I think being on for longer isn’t a bad thing. I knew that they would attack my answer if it was too long, and impose a restriction of that length if I said a shorter length, so I said it was really an unfair question.
Then this is where things fall apart……. My dad starts yelling at me for not working hard enough, and being lazy, and running away from my problems. My mom and brother also turn upon me yelling about my incompetence. At this point, I was just abut to self desctruct. I walked out of the house… My dad followed me, refusing to leave my side, and repeatedly saying I was running away from my problems.
With a pun intended, I literally ran away from one of my problems down the street, through some brush, and onto a trail which heads to the library, where I am now. My brother texted me on behalf of my parents asking where I am, and I didn’t answer. I sent them an email saying I’d be back in three hours. I don’t know what to do. It’s my life, my break, I tried to be reasonable and failed. I just don’t know what to do, I’m lost, and I’m afraid what will happen when I go back home.
So lost, confused, and angry.
 
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Osaka27174 Posts
Print out the blogs you write here, magnet them to the fridge, then go to a friends house for a night.
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Well, at least your parents care for you. They really want you to succeed and be successful. It sounds like they are going about it the wrong way though.
Do you do any extra curriculars?
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On December 20 2010 07:25 zerglingsfolife wrote:
Well, at least your parents care for you. They really want you to succeed and be successful. It sounds like they are going about it the wrong way though.
Do you do any extra curriculars?
Yes. Model united nations/acadec rec soccer.
They do care. Just wrong way as you said.
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Mani actually has a decent idea. You need to get away from them for a bit. The fact is, that much studying actually is *not* conducive to learning, which may be an argument for you to use. See if there's any studies supporting that train of thought and cite them.
In regards to your feelings though, well...I mean, as lame as it is, they ARE your parents. That doesn't justify what they do, but it does give them a certain amount of power. The computer question is deliberately designed, i think, to trap you like you said (quote on quote as "unfair", which I feel is completely legitimate to say).
Mani also says to show them the blogs...while I think this could help, how responsive would they be? Would it merely make them angrier/more unreasonable? If so, it might not be worth it...then again, you're already deep in the hole, so maybe its a chance you should take regardless. Use your own judgement, and hopefully things get better soon. Try and cheer up though, regardless. Even though they're superbly unreasonable, I'm sure they love you. And you have other people who love you, and who like you, and who are PROUD of you. Try and focus on that for a bit when you get down. 
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
berkeley...
Parent's signing you up for classes...
College courses in HS, general academic anxiety, need to work on breaks, parent rage...
Well I am just going to say it: You are asian. And this isn't even a good read it's really obvious. But I've got to take the free wins where I can.
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Being a parent to 7-years old son: Your parents seem to be worried about you. That's what every good parent feels like about their children. I'm not sure how old you are, but it seems to me that they too are going wrong on about how to deal with you. You seem to realize the need to study on your own. Your parents seem to berate you on lack of efforts, but in reality, they don't seem to even listen to you at all. I mean, it all comes down to compromises. Everyone needs some kind of motivation, some downtine and relaxation, when they spend time in way they enjoy. So clearly, pushing you this way, even during break days, that won't do any good.
When I was a kid, my parents were somewhat similar... critizing me when things went wrong, but then never seemed to see or appreciate the good sides or even good results. They took them as granted. It taught me to appreciate all these little efforts and successes of my little kid, to *let him know* about them and appreciate them aloud. In the end, everyone needs to find their own place in the world and being appreciated by those closest to you can be rewarding and leading towards even better motivation and results.
You went quite reasonably about the whole thing; not being even heard to is flat out bad. We can never expect things to go our way only, it'll always come down to discussions and trying to mutually understand each other. However, when one side wishes to fight while the another wishes for diplomacy, it'll not end up well, as the diplomatic approach falls on the deaf ears. Your parents seem to act out of worry, which is a good thing, although, they should look out for how *you* feel as well.
I wish I had any advice for you; guess you might have to try to talk to them when things calm down a bit.
Good luck.
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Should've started the rebellion early and worked slowly at it until parents are more lax.
Anyways, few more months and you'll be gone so keep trucking.
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Man, I can't fathom...any way I could help? It's unbelievable how they're treating you. I think this really is the extreme of "wanting you to do well in life". They should know that at this point in life, kids don't take kindly (to say the very fucking least) to indiscriminate bashing and "discipline", if that's what you could call it.
I totally understand how you feel, and all I can say is that you have to stick it out and take the high ground here, even though just reading about this grates on my very soul...
On December 20 2010 07:40 King K. Rool wrote:
Should've started the rebellion early and worked slowly at it until parents are more lax.
Anyways, few more months and you'll be gone so keep trucking.
Try "one and a half years" 
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On December 20 2010 07:34 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
berkeley...
Parent's signing you up for classes...
College courses in HS, general academic anxiety, need to work on breaks, parent rage...
Well I am just going to say it: You are asian. And this isn't even a good read it's really obvious. But I've got to take the free wins where I can.
not quite asian, but his parents were unfortunately infected by the high population in the bay area
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I actually tried what Manifesto suggested once and it turned out horribly when I eventually had to go home the next day because it just made them more agitated at me.. <_< I'm not sure what to do in this situation because for me it eventually cooled down after I got into college. I understand how tough it is, but hang in there though because eventually you can look back and be relieved it's all over.
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How do you even have that much to study? I would run out of stuff to do if I had to study 7 hours a day
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On December 20 2010 07:34 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
berkeley...
Parent's signing you up for classes...
College courses in HS, general academic anxiety, need to work on breaks, parent rage...
Well I am just going to say it: You are asian. And this isn't even a good read it's really obvious. But I've got to take the free wins where I can.
BUAHAHAHHAHA omg iNc, dont make me laugh like that when i'm drinking! ooh how i love reading your posts xD
OT: I'd say sit down and have a talk with them, ultimately you're not a slave or a robot so you can refuse to do what they ask. For example, my father thought I spent too much time on the computer (then again i have no driver's license, live in the backwoods, cant get a job because im needed to work here all the time) but his perspective is skewed. I work at the house, then when im done im on the computer.
So one day i wake up and the PC's gone, i calmly went down and told him that if thats his choice then fine, i was not going to do anything anymore, i was not going to help my mom shop or help my dad with his horses, or work in the yard or do anything anymore except wake up and watch tv and go to sleep. Because if he puts an ultimatum on me, im putting one right back on him, the result was...no change from routine, i keep working around the house wherever and whenever im needed until i go to Curtin in february, and i got my PC back.
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dude. are you chinese? I knew you were asian as i read into the third paragraph. As I read along, the chinese vibe became increasingly apparent. I'm korean, and my parents were strict like yours, but your parents are taking it to another level. Koreans say chinese are sometimes too hardcore. But a B in math? come on...
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Honestly, just do whatever you think you will ENJOY the most in life, not what will give you the most prestige and money. Prestige and money are nice, yes, but it's not worth it when you are making six figures and at the same time depressed as fuck.
The key to a successful career is first doing something that makes you happy. If it makes you happy, you have a higher chance of being better at it --> becoming one of the best at it --> money --> prestige. Of course not everyone is cut out for shit like this so relax and just do what makes you happy. All this stress can't be good...
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
On December 20 2010 07:43 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:Show nested quote +On December 20 2010 07:34 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
berkeley...
Parent's signing you up for classes...
College courses in HS, general academic anxiety, need to work on breaks, parent rage...
Well I am just going to say it: You are asian. And this isn't even a good read it's really obvious. But I've got to take the free wins where I can. not quite asian, but his parents were unfortunately infected by the high population in the bay area
He is asian. 100%
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Osaka27174 Posts
On December 20 2010 07:34 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
berkeley...
Parent's signing you up for classes...
College courses in HS, general academic anxiety, need to work on breaks, parent rage...
Well I am just going to say it: You are asian. And this isn't even a good read it's really obvious. But I've got to take the free wins where I can.
Swing and a miss! He isn't Asian. Trust me, I called it two blogs ago and was wrong.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
I'd need a picture to ever believer that.
He is an asian... I can practically smell the rice cooker.
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EPT
