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Canada2480 Posts
On December 20 2010 11:02 JinNJuice wrote:
By the way, don't listen to travis. That's the worst advice I've ever heard. Just the idea of telling your parents to fuck off shows the worst attitude I've ever seen. Here's a newsflash: it's not absurd for parents to expect A's, holy shit.
SMH
here's a news flash, it's absurd for parents to expect 7 hours of studying every day on christmass break, holy shit
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Honestly if you don't want to study go out and do stuff. Don't just stay at home and play team fortress. This is prime time! Take your opportunity and go and get a job, or go volunteer, or go do SOMETHING that interests you. I spent something like 8 hours a day on my computer doing shit in high school after school. I wish so bad I could go back and have spent that time doing fun or useful things like, for example, going to volunteer at a university research lab. Maybe try to start a business. Hell, even programming or such online. Learn some languages and start coding.
You don't have to study all the time. You really don't. You need, however, to show that you are doing something aside from dicking around.
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On December 20 2010 11:31 sikyon wrote:
Honestly if you don't want to study go out and do stuff. Don't just stay at home and play team fortress. This is prime time! Take your opportunity and go and get a job, or go volunteer, or go do SOMETHING that interests you. I spent something like 8 hours a day on my computer doing shit in high school after school. I wish so bad I could go back and have spent that time doing fun or useful things like, for example, going to volunteer at a university research lab. Maybe try to start a business. Hell, even programming or such online. Learn some languages and start coding.
You don't have to study all the time. You really don't. You need, however, to show that you are doing something aside from dicking around.
Well put.  I wish it was that way...
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You should be enjoying your last years of freedom. tell your parents to fuck off.
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Alright. So I am a frosh in a fairly intense University, but I feel like this is something I can probably contribute to.
I spent a lot of time in high school on the computer - doing shit all. I was the kid that could just walk into exams and rape them with only a little studying.
Then I got into university, and holy shit is it hard.
What your parents are trying to do is instill some work ethic, which is sadly something I lacked, and had to learn. Your parents are being a little bit over the top, but a couple of hours learning something valuable isnt as bad as you think it is - especially if it is something cool.
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actually yeah dude for your own good don't spend all ur time playing games. do something cool or creative, doesn't have to be studying. sikyon is completely right
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On December 20 2010 11:52 blankspace wrote:
actually yeah dude for your own good don't spend all ur time playing games. do something cool or creative, doesn't have to be studying. sikyon is completely right
IMO, he doesn't spend all his time playing games, nor does he spend all his time studying (though it certainly seems as if that's what his parents want)... Doing something cool or creative isn't exactly an open door at the moment, and therein lies his problem (well, it's more like death by study, but you know what I mean).
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On December 20 2010 11:41 iamho wrote:
You should be enjoying your last years of freedom. tell your parents to fuck off.
You seem pretty bright, so you obviously won't do something like this...
On December 20 2010 11:47 Shudder wrote:
Alright. So I am a frosh in a fairly intense University, but I feel like this is something I can probably contribute to.
I spent a lot of time in high school on the computer - doing shit all. I was the kid that could just walk into exams and rape them with only a little studying.
Then I got into university, and holy shit is it hard.
What your parents are trying to do is instill some work ethic, which is sadly something I lacked, and had to learn. Your parents are being a little bit over the top, but a couple of hours learning something valuable isnt as bad as you think it is - especially if it is something cool.
This is good advice I guess, but honestly... It's pretty much worthless. If you aren't motivated to study, there's no point in forcing yourself to. I didn't really study in High School, and there were skills that I unfortunately never learned until this year- but it's hard to understand the difference between High School and Post Secondary, so really I think it's a learning experience that you need to have and no advice will ever be sufficient.
This is a really tough, shitty time. God is it ever. Take your victories where you can and live through it to your best- it sounds dumb and cliche, but whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Trust me when I say that when you come through this you will have learned some valuable life skills.
Good Luck.
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If you want to convince your parents you're doing something good, I suggest you draft a plan. It doesn' thave to be a study plan but maybe almost like a business plan. Ie who you are going to approach, when, what the outcome will be, etc. You do need to maintain a certain grade but it really doesn't have ot be spectacular.
I think that you should sit down and think about what you want to do with your time. Then draft a plan, and show it to them. Give concrete details on how you want to spend your time and how it will benefit you. They are probably just worried, so if you want to deal with them you need to give them some sort of certainty, not just uncertainty which worries them.
If you can't think of a good way to approach it, you should ask them directly for help. Tell them what you want to do, how you want to do it, why it will help you and then ask them how they can help you. It involves them, and is important.
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On December 20 2010 11:18 Chef wrote:
I'm not saying he should feel guilty his parents do chores lol. I'm sure his parents make him do a few chores too. But being able to study 7 hours a day necessarily means he can ask his parents to be quiet so he can work hard, to make exceptions in other tasks so he can study... And really, studying is 100% self-interested activity. One day you will have to work hard for someone else, and the more studying you've done in life the more you're allowed to say 'you want me to work hard? pay me money.' It may feel like you're doing it for your parents right now, which is bad, but in the end it's only going to help you.
I mean, what besides studying do you want to do with your time? What is your aspiration? If you have a creative aspiration you want to explore, you need to show motivation to do that, and maybe university isn't the right path for you. But if you're planning on having a career that requires a lot of education, then yeah, this is what you need to do. What did you tell your parents you want to be when you grow up? They are just helping you to achieve that. They want you to be serious about your goals.
I think there is a difference between "they want you to be serious about your goals" and "they help you in that". My impression after reading these blogs is they don't help in that in the slightest.
This is what it's all about.
And there are no signs it's going to change. Are there OP?
Do you need daily dose of their... speeches... to realize what they want and try as hard?
Can you try as hard after those speeches? Do you need those speeches at all to aim for the same or very similar to what they want?
So OP ask yourself if there is any help from them other than ranting (and of course other than meals at home) and are they as bad as you describe them? Are there times when you can have fun with them, are there times when they are not nazis and show love? When was the last time something like that happened?
If there are really just a few months when you are still with them left, then use this time to make things clear. To make decision to stay relatively close to them or distance yourself from them adequately to their "usefulness" in your life so to say.
I'd say: gather evidence of their attitude. When they start to rant, confront them with what you achieved. If you think you can get positive comments from your teachers about progress of your education, talk with them and include that as achievements too.
When you don't feel it's going to be sufficient, tell them what you would like to achieve but you will not be able as much because of what you feel after they talk, stronger the longer they do.
You need to completely empty all of your arguments. It's probably going to be much easier if you don't have to face them and it doesn't matter in the long run. Mani has a very good point.
Teaching them logic is not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is to cut off all of the negative influence they have over your mental state so you can focus on the goals you want to achieve better.
And of course I don't mean internet life and SC.
The longer their influence will last the longer you will need to let off steam and the stronger tools to do that you will need. Now it's 100 hours of gaming. What is it going to be in future?
How much of that is it going to be in the future?
Is it going to be the first thing you will do after getting to college?
I believe getting help from counselor will help in that. If you've already heard
that I have a similar thing to PTSD, basically that I’m scared of my parents and depressed because of it.
then I believe you need a professional to guide you in that. Maybe you will be able to talk with them properly with his mediation. Not being able to do so will be the ultimate proof they are simply mad.
And this forces really important question: how hard can you study with their presence.
Perhaps limiting hours you are in home and doing the stuff you need to do and the stuff you want to do somewhere else like a library or friend's house is the better solution.
But only after you can declare they are the biggest problem.
Once it comes to that, in your situation it may be better to start with smaller amounts of time you are out to familiarize them with you being out more?
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I've said this before and I will say it again
you're a great person and the way you describe your academics makes you seem very intelligent as well. Don't let your parents ever convince you otherwise Froadac
(though you do suck at SC2!)
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On December 20 2010 11:05 JinNJuice wrote:Show nested quote +On December 20 2010 10:21 Arkansassy wrote:
It's difficult for me to read your post, Froadac, because I was a rebel in the worst way. Totally uncontrollable and challenged authority figures at every turn. I left home when I was 17 with really nowhere to go, just to get away.
Parents who try to control their kids don't love them, in my opinion, they just want to mold a kid they can brag about.
Do you do drugs? Do you hang with gangs? Do you get in trouble a lot with the law? Do you get drunk all the time? If you answered no, then tell your parents to thank their lucky stars and leave you the f**k alone.
As long as you're pulling Bs and you do apply yourself and don't spend 24/7 on the internet, they should be thankful.
Hang in there, kid. Just out of curiosity, what do you do for a living now?
You do know that curiosity killed the cat, right? lol
After putting myself through college, (drama major/English) I did some theater, bit parts in some movies, commercials, then semi-retired when I got married, and began writing for a daily newspaper. Several years ago, when my husband was killed I began writing publicity for an art gallery. At the moment I'm doing freelance work as an editor and working on a novel.
Btw...I still challenge the system and authority figures and rebel against societies dictates.
Bet you thought I'd be a failure. Even my parents knew better than that.
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On December 20 2010 10:21 intoyourrainbOW wrote:
ok, so you are white. that explains your B in math. Frankly, most white parents aren't strict enough. Some of them don't have a clue about the importance of education and doing well academically. So kudos to your parents for pretending to be Asian.
Wrong. Asian parents don't know how unimportant education is. I know a person right now, dropped out of high school, making millions. Other people I know barley getting passed high school with C's making 200k a year. Want to know the best part? They enjoy their life.
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On December 20 2010 12:28 FragKrag wrote:I've said this before and I will say it again you're a great person and the way you describe your academics makes you seem very intelligent as well. Don't let your parents ever convince you otherwise Froadac (though you do suck at SC2!)
A positive thing regarding my schoolwork ! :D
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I'm assuming you've returned home and things have calmed down?
^__^
So have you and your parents worked something out?
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On December 20 2010 13:13 BROotogy wrote:Show nested quote +On December 20 2010 10:21 intoyourrainbOW wrote:
ok, so you are white. that explains your B in math. Frankly, most white parents aren't strict enough. Some of them don't have a clue about the importance of education and doing well academically. So kudos to your parents for pretending to be Asian. Wrong. Asian parents don't know how unimportant education is. I know a person right now, dropped out of high school, making millions. Other people I know barley getting passed high school with C's making 200k a year. Want to know the best part? They enjoy their life.
Statistically the vast majority of people that drop out of school are not as lucky. Education is very important.
Furthermore the vast majority of people that are successful but dropped out of school are self-educated anyways, instead of working really hard in school they worked really hard outside of school. School is not the only predictor of success but it's probably the most reliable one without direct experience (in which case you would already have been successful) as you have a diploma to back you up.
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On December 20 2010 13:22 sikyon wrote:Show nested quote +On December 20 2010 13:13 BROotogy wrote:On December 20 2010 10:21 intoyourrainbOW wrote:
ok, so you are white. that explains your B in math. Frankly, most white parents aren't strict enough. Some of them don't have a clue about the importance of education and doing well academically. So kudos to your parents for pretending to be Asian. Wrong. Asian parents don't know how unimportant education is. I know a person right now, dropped out of high school, making millions. Other people I know barley getting passed high school with C's making 200k a year. Want to know the best part? They enjoy their life. Statistically the vast majority of people that drop out of school are not as lucky. Education is very important. Furthermore the vast majority of people that are successful but dropped out of school are self-educated anyways, instead of working really hard in school they worked really hard outside of school.
What I'm trying to say is that high school/college w/e has no impact on how successful you can be in life.
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On December 20 2010 13:23 BROotogy wrote:Show nested quote +On December 20 2010 13:22 sikyon wrote:On December 20 2010 13:13 BROotogy wrote:On December 20 2010 10:21 intoyourrainbOW wrote:
ok, so you are white. that explains your B in math. Frankly, most white parents aren't strict enough. Some of them don't have a clue about the importance of education and doing well academically. So kudos to your parents for pretending to be Asian. Wrong. Asian parents don't know how unimportant education is. I know a person right now, dropped out of high school, making millions. Other people I know barley getting passed high school with C's making 200k a year. Want to know the best part? They enjoy their life. Statistically the vast majority of people that drop out of school are not as lucky. Education is very important. Furthermore the vast majority of people that are successful but dropped out of school are self-educated anyways, instead of working really hard in school they worked really hard outside of school. What I'm trying to say is that high school/college w/e has no impact on how successful you can be in life.
Errr... Would you like to look at statistical earning rates of graduates vs none graduates? No, it doesn't have an impact on how succesful you CAN be but it does have an impact on how succesful you are LIKELY to be.
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On December 20 2010 13:23 BROotogy wrote:Show nested quote +On December 20 2010 13:22 sikyon wrote:On December 20 2010 13:13 BROotogy wrote:On December 20 2010 10:21 intoyourrainbOW wrote:
ok, so you are white. that explains your B in math. Frankly, most white parents aren't strict enough. Some of them don't have a clue about the importance of education and doing well academically. So kudos to your parents for pretending to be Asian. Wrong. Asian parents don't know how unimportant education is. I know a person right now, dropped out of high school, making millions. Other people I know barley getting passed high school with C's making 200k a year. Want to know the best part? They enjoy their life. Statistically the vast majority of people that drop out of school are not as lucky. Education is very important. Furthermore the vast majority of people that are successful but dropped out of school are self-educated anyways, instead of working really hard in school they worked really hard outside of school. What I'm trying to say is that high school/college w/e has no impact on how successful you can be in life.
Actually, it definitely does. The point of schools is to prepare you for success in life. Otherwise, I fail to see why anyone would attend school at all. High/college CAN end up having zero impact on your future, but most of the time, it's still an important step in your life.
[Not] Getting into a famous/prestigious college may very well have no effect on you, but most of the time, they will prepare you very well. Even if they don't, and you consider a degree immaterial, almost everyone takes it as qualification, and it will help you get a job (which, of course, is desirable).
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Osaka27177 Posts
On December 20 2010 13:28 Z3kk wrote:Show nested quote +On December 20 2010 13:23 BROotogy wrote:On December 20 2010 13:22 sikyon wrote:On December 20 2010 13:13 BROotogy wrote:On December 20 2010 10:21 intoyourrainbOW wrote:
ok, so you are white. that explains your B in math. Frankly, most white parents aren't strict enough. Some of them don't have a clue about the importance of education and doing well academically. So kudos to your parents for pretending to be Asian. Wrong. Asian parents don't know how unimportant education is. I know a person right now, dropped out of high school, making millions. Other people I know barley getting passed high school with C's making 200k a year. Want to know the best part? They enjoy their life. Statistically the vast majority of people that drop out of school are not as lucky. Education is very important. Furthermore the vast majority of people that are successful but dropped out of school are self-educated anyways, instead of working really hard in school they worked really hard outside of school. What I'm trying to say is that high school/college w/e has no impact on how successful you can be in life. Actually, it definitely does. The point of schools is to prepare you for success in life. Otherwise, I fail to see why anyone would attend school at all. High/college CAN end up having zero impact on your future, but most of the time, it's still an important step in your life. [Not] Getting into a famous/prestigious college may very well have no effect on you, but most of the time, they will prepare you very well. Even if they don't, and you consider a degree immaterial, almost everyone takes it as qualification, and it will help you get a job (which, of course, is desirable).
But you can only study brotology on the streets yo.
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EPT
