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On July 13 2010 13:11 koreasilver wrote:
ITT idiots that have no understanding that believe drastic, singular measures are an answer to all situations objectively.
Welcome to the new generation of North America! The sheltered, the complacent, the ignorant.
ITT idiots that have no understanding about social services that they believe social workers are just bureaucrats with no understanding of how family dynamics (including those of other cultures) work.
Sheltered, complacent, ignorant Asian-Americans who think white people don't understand how Asian families work just because of the colour of their skin.
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On July 13 2010 13:37 Pineapple wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:11 koreasilver wrote:
ITT idiots that have no understanding that believe drastic, singular measures are an answer to all situations objectively.
Welcome to the new generation of North America! The sheltered, the complacent, the ignorant. ITT idiots that have no understanding about social services that they believe social workers are just bureaucrats with no understanding of how family dynamics (including those of other cultures) work. Sheltered, complacent, ignorant Asian-Americans who think white people don't understand how Asian families work just because of the colour of their skin.
Yes, that's exactly how it is. You obviously understand how their families work better than they do. Bravo to you sir.
On July 13 2010 13:29 Orome wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:08 koreasilver wrote:
It's obviously easy to see that it is wrong. But it is hard to understand exactly why it is like so and what can be done about it. In this way KissBlade is correct. Obviously it is wrong by all means, but there are just some things that cannot be approached in the same way. There are some very deep seated issues in contemporary Asian culture that must be fixed in its own way and fashion. It must be approached from its own angle, not some kind of absolute "right". The tendency for Westerners to do this is a plague in of itself, as they are too blindsighted by their own ethnocentrism. It is so for all cultures to a degree, but you must understand that there are some things that you will never fully understand as you have never experienced it first hand to truly understand the nuances of the culture that are ingrained into the most fundamental aspects of the individuals. This isn't about right or wrong in any way, it's about protecting a minor that's being physically and emotionally abused. You can argue about what the most appropriate course of action is, but to say that 'this is asian culture' and he and his sister have no choice but to tough it out isn't showing great understanding, it's fucking horrible. You're saying he should come to terms with his little sister being abused. (I actually regret suggesting that he go to the authorities, that was the typical reaction of an outsider who doesn't know any of the details and therefore can't suggest a more subtle solution. The OP alone can judge what the most appropriate course of action is, but it's out of the question that he has to do something.)
It's actually not "Asian culture". It's "Asian American immigration culture". China for example, pampers the crap out of their kids now because of more money one child policy, etc. What you're NOT understanding is that "toughing it out" means just doing well in school, talking out with his parents, etc. He got it, you won't get it because you haven't lived through this. What the standard Western proposal is, isn't going to work because frankly they're not equipped for the same situation. In fact, I will tell you a very personal story. I've tried a lot of these things that I'm railing against today. My cousin has tried those things. A family friend tried the thing I suggested doing. One of the three is very successful in life while another one realized what he was taught by his Western peers didn't work because it was dealing with ultimately, a different environment, and now is on a better track for that realization. The third keeps at it and is still coming at odds with his parents. Guess which is which?
Orome, I know your posts have always meant well but you are twisting words and meanings because some things don't come across clearly through simple text on the screen.
On July 13 2010 13:38 Jumperer wrote:
Alright, in summary, Yang is pretty much out of this. He just has to focus and do really well in school. So further discussion regarding the issue isn't necessary. However, What would be the best course of action for his mom and sister? I think that if you convince your sister to tell someone in her school about this problem I'm sure they can deal with it. Your dad can't blame you for it since you can pretend that you didn't tell her anything, she acted on her own.
This is exactly what I mean by people don't understand the situation and still keeps giving advice. The truth is, the burden is on YPang. If he does well in college and gets a successful career, his dad will soften up. If he wants the best for his sister, he'll be there for her while in college but do his best while he's attending it. Telling his sister to tell someone in school won't do shit because a) she probably wont' tell anyway or b) she'll tell. They'll bring the parents in to talk to the counselors for a few days, she'll get horribly embarrassed and her parents BOTH yell at her for doing it.
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On July 13 2010 13:29 Orome wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:08 koreasilver wrote:
It's obviously easy to see that it is wrong. But it is hard to understand exactly why it is like so and what can be done about it. In this way KissBlade is correct. Obviously it is wrong by all means, but there are just some things that cannot be approached in the same way. There are some very deep seated issues in contemporary Asian culture that must be fixed in its own way and fashion. It must be approached from its own angle, not some kind of absolute "right". The tendency for Westerners to do this is a plague in of itself, as they are too blindsighted by their own ethnocentrism. It is so for all cultures to a degree, but you must understand that there are some things that you will never fully understand as you have never experienced it first hand to truly understand the nuances of the culture that are ingrained into the most fundamental aspects of the individuals. This isn't about right or wrong in any way, it's about protecting a minor that's being physically and emotionally abused. You can argue about what the most appropriate course of action is, but to say that 'this is asian culture' and he and his sister have no choice but to tough it out isn't showing great understanding, it's fucking horrible. You're saying he should come to terms with his little sister being abused. (I actually regret suggesting that he go to the authorities, that was the typical reaction of an outsider who doesn't know any of the details and therefore can't suggest a more subtle solution. The OP alone can judge what the most appropriate course of action is, but it's out of the question that he has to do something.)
I've told him to focus on himself and his sister. All my criticism comes from what you people are telling him to do about his mom and his dad, not his sister. If you've actually really read into my few posts in this thread then you would have known so, that you are completely misreading whatever I am writing, and that your accusations are baseless. You are making an argument constructed completely upon emotion without any actual experience or subtle understanding, and this is why your "advice" doesn't hold much value in this situation.
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On July 13 2010 13:44 Jumperer wrote:
It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
I'd call running away from the problem living on your knees.
It takes a man to take a bad situation and turn it good. Anyone can keep a good thing going or spout pointless advice.
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So KissBlade, am I right in thinking that you think Ypang should go to his parents (who are calling each other trash and not speaking) and say:
"Look I know what you want is the best for me. And you want what's the best for my sister. Please if you think we fuck up next time, just let us know. There's no point being angry with it because I know your situation is hard but let us try to fix it."
...and that will stop his dad from beating his sister and solve his rage problems?
It seems a bit optimistic.
or is this just the best we can hope for....
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On July 13 2010 13:37 Pineapple wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:11 koreasilver wrote:
ITT idiots that have no understanding that believe drastic, singular measures are an answer to all situations objectively.
Welcome to the new generation of North America! The sheltered, the complacent, the ignorant. ITT idiots that have no understanding about social services that they believe social workers are just bureaucrats with no understanding of how family dynamics (including those of other cultures) work. Sheltered, complacent, ignorant Asian-Americans who think white people don't understand how Asian families work just because of the colour of their skin.
And you fail to understand that social services in North America fail to actually rectify the structural problems of the culture. This must be dealt by the people themselves. "Help" doesn't help if the "helped" do not want to be helped or even truly believe that there is a fundamental problem. As long as the fundamental issue persists any sort of mending on the surface is useless. This is the issue with why Westerners fail in solving problems in other parts of the world with their "help". They suffer from tunnel vision and are unable to pierce through to the roots of the issue; if they even want to go that far in the first place.
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On July 13 2010 13:48 sob3k wrote:So KissBlade, am I right in thinking that you think Ypang should go to his parents (who are calling each other trash and not speaking) and say: Show nested quote +"Look I know what you want is the best for me. And you want what's the best for my sister. Please if you think we fuck up next time, just let us know. There's no point being angry with it because I know your situation is hard but let us try to fix it."
...and that will stop his dad from beating his sister and solve his rage problems? It seems a bit optimistic. or is this just the best we can hope for....
His dad isn't having anger management problems. His dad is almost guaranteed upset all the time because he is worried about how his family is doing. I never said anything about stopping his dad from beating anyone or not acting as he did. However, ultimately, it'll make it so ten years from now, YPang will be able to have an understanding relationship with his parents than some of the shithole situations some of these other "solutions" will create.
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On July 13 2010 13:40 KissBlade wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:29 Orome wrote:On July 13 2010 13:08 koreasilver wrote:
It's obviously easy to see that it is wrong. But it is hard to understand exactly why it is like so and what can be done about it. In this way KissBlade is correct. Obviously it is wrong by all means, but there are just some things that cannot be approached in the same way. There are some very deep seated issues in contemporary Asian culture that must be fixed in its own way and fashion. It must be approached from its own angle, not some kind of absolute "right". The tendency for Westerners to do this is a plague in of itself, as they are too blindsighted by their own ethnocentrism. It is so for all cultures to a degree, but you must understand that there are some things that you will never fully understand as you have never experienced it first hand to truly understand the nuances of the culture that are ingrained into the most fundamental aspects of the individuals. This isn't about right or wrong in any way, it's about protecting a minor that's being physically and emotionally abused. You can argue about what the most appropriate course of action is, but to say that 'this is asian culture' and he and his sister have no choice but to tough it out isn't showing great understanding, it's fucking horrible. You're saying he should come to terms with his little sister being abused. (I actually regret suggesting that he go to the authorities, that was the typical reaction of an outsider who doesn't know any of the details and therefore can't suggest a more subtle solution. The OP alone can judge what the most appropriate course of action is, but it's out of the question that he has to do something.) It's actually not "Asian culture". It's "Asian American immigration culture". China for example, pampers the crap out of their kids now because of more money one child policy, etc. What you're NOT understanding is that "toughing it out" means just doing well in school, talking out with his parents, etc. He got it, you won't get it because you haven't lived through this. What the standard Western proposal is, isn't going to work because frankly they're not equipped for the same situation. In fact, I will tell you a very personal story. I've tried a lot of these things that I'm railing against today. My cousin has tried those things. A family friend tried the thing I suggested doing. One of the three is very successful in life while another one realized what he was taught by his Western peers didn't work because it was dealing with ultimately, a different environment, and now is on a better track for that realization. The third keeps at it and is still coming at odds with his parents. Guess which is which? Orome, I know your posts have always meant well but you are twisting words and meanings because some things don't come across clearly through simple text on the screen.
I know how frustrating it can be to argue with someone who has no first-hand experience of something and doesn't realize he's wrong, but I just have a very hard time believing that all it takes for ypang's family to function is for him and his sister to do well in school (and the solution is a very imperfect one in any case). You really think his father would start treating his mother decently if his children were doing better academically?
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On July 13 2010 13:40 KissBlade wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:37 Pineapple wrote:On July 13 2010 13:11 koreasilver wrote:
ITT idiots that have no understanding that believe drastic, singular measures are an answer to all situations objectively.
Welcome to the new generation of North America! The sheltered, the complacent, the ignorant. ITT idiots that have no understanding about social services that they believe social workers are just bureaucrats with no understanding of how family dynamics (including those of other cultures) work. Sheltered, complacent, ignorant Asian-Americans who think white people don't understand how Asian families work just because of the colour of their skin. Yes, that's exactly how it is. You obviously understand how their families work better than they do. Bravo to you sir. Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:29 Orome wrote:On July 13 2010 13:08 koreasilver wrote:
It's obviously easy to see that it is wrong. But it is hard to understand exactly why it is like so and what can be done about it. In this way KissBlade is correct. Obviously it is wrong by all means, but there are just some things that cannot be approached in the same way. There are some very deep seated issues in contemporary Asian culture that must be fixed in its own way and fashion. It must be approached from its own angle, not some kind of absolute "right". The tendency for Westerners to do this is a plague in of itself, as they are too blindsighted by their own ethnocentrism. It is so for all cultures to a degree, but you must understand that there are some things that you will never fully understand as you have never experienced it first hand to truly understand the nuances of the culture that are ingrained into the most fundamental aspects of the individuals. This isn't about right or wrong in any way, it's about protecting a minor that's being physically and emotionally abused. You can argue about what the most appropriate course of action is, but to say that 'this is asian culture' and he and his sister have no choice but to tough it out isn't showing great understanding, it's fucking horrible. You're saying he should come to terms with his little sister being abused. (I actually regret suggesting that he go to the authorities, that was the typical reaction of an outsider who doesn't know any of the details and therefore can't suggest a more subtle solution. The OP alone can judge what the most appropriate course of action is, but it's out of the question that he has to do something.) It's actually not "Asian culture". It's "Asian American immigration culture". China for example, pampers the crap out of their kids now because of more money one child policy, etc. What you're NOT understanding is that "toughing it out" means just doing well in school, talking out with his parents, etc. He got it, you won't get it because you haven't lived through this. What the standard Western proposal is, isn't going to work because frankly they're not equipped for the same situation. In fact, I will tell you a very personal story. I've tried a lot of these things that I'm railing against today. My cousin has tried those things. A family friend tried the thing I suggested doing. One of the three is very successful in life while another one realized what he was taught by his Western peers didn't work because it was dealing with ultimately, a different environment, and now is on a better track for that realization. The third keeps at it and is still coming at odds with his parents. Guess which is which? Orome, I know your posts have always meant well but you are twisting words and meanings because some things don't come across clearly through simple text on the screen. Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:38 Jumperer wrote:
Alright, in summary, Yang is pretty much out of this. He just has to focus and do really well in school. So further discussion regarding the issue isn't necessary. However, What would be the best course of action for his mom and sister? I think that if you convince your sister to tell someone in her school about this problem I'm sure they can deal with it. Your dad can't blame you for it since you can pretend that you didn't tell her anything, she acted on her own. This is exactly what I mean by people don't understand the situation and still keeps giving advice. The truth is, the burden is on YPang. If he does well in college and gets a successful career, his dad will soften up. If he wants the best for his sister, he'll be there for her while in college but do his best while he's attending it. Telling his sister to tell someone in school won't do shit because a) she probably wont' tell anyway or b) she'll tell. They'll bring the parents in to talk to the counselors for a few days, she'll get horribly embarrassed and her parents BOTH yell at her for doing it.
FYI I happen to be an Asian immigrant myself in a Western nation and I can say to you my parents were poor as fuck and had to work minimum wage jobs (one as a construction labourer, the other as a disability support carer) to raise me and my sister - but were certainly not fucked up enough to take it out on us via beatings. There was corporal punishment as well as stern words but certainly not unreasonable or psychotic. I am well aware of the Asian culture and expectations for making sure their kids do well in school etc.
I also have several friends who went to university to take papers in sociology and psychology and now do social work. And believe it or not one of them is Asian. And they have to learn all about how to deal with different cultural family situations (New Zealand is a lot less multicultural than America) and it's not shallow or ignorant as you seem to think. I think the only ignorance stems from your ignorance of the system and prejudice into believing that they're useless. So your presumption that social services know fuck all about Asian families is bullshit too. I would strongly recommend YPang go seek out social services and explain the issues people such as you and koreasilver have raised about the potential of fucking things up even more should intervention be taken, and they will definitely take that into account when approaching the issue and look seriously to other options to address the situation. I would strongly recommend against him taking your advice which you had originally posted on the top of page 9 or 10 regarding being grateful for the piece of shit dad he obviously has and thanking him later in life. Fuck that bullshit.
This is the last post I will make in this thread. YPang - make sure your sister has a circle of friends - I am not a Christian however some Churches can be a good place to find friends for support (I'm not talking strict Churches but the more mainstream ones). If she grows up without a good friendly support base then your dad will cause seriously fucked up psychological problems for her and she might end up self-harming etc. And go to a Women's Refuge or whatever centre that helps victims of domestic violence - recommend your mum to go visit one. Social services doesn't have to be involved in those situations - and they are certainly well aware of why some women would prefer not to go to social services because it's not only Asian families that suffer from domestic violence.
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On July 13 2010 13:57 Jumperer wrote:
KissBlade, you can't assume that everything I say will come out wrong and that everything you say will work perfectly. Just because your mom beat the crap out of you doesn't mean you are the best person to give out advices. You can play 5000 games on iccup and still be D+.
If all the founding father in Americans took your advice and just suck it up and declare independence. We would all be living under the ruling of the British today.
But then again, being asian myself, I can understand the cowardice tendency of asian culture and the temptation to just suck it up, fly under the radar. Then work as a doctor for the rest of your life, accomplish nothing worthwise, and die as a coward.
Really? Because I'm going to assume you understand very little. You're telling me running away is less cowardly than actually facing a situation and dealing with it? Some parts of your post doesn't even make any sense so I'm not even sure how to respond anymore.
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On July 13 2010 13:59 Pineapple wrote:
FYI I happen to be an Asian immigrant myself in a Western nation .
On July 13 2010 13:37 Pineapple wrote:
Sheltered, complacent, ignorant Asian-Americans who think white people don't understand how Asian families work just because of the colour of their skin.
Contrary. But it's great that you're not going to post anymore because honestly I don't believe anything else you were saying either.
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On July 13 2010 13:51 KissBlade wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:48 sob3k wrote:So KissBlade, am I right in thinking that you think Ypang should go to his parents (who are calling each other trash and not speaking) and say: "Look I know what you want is the best for me. And you want what's the best for my sister. Please if you think we fuck up next time, just let us know. There's no point being angry with it because I know your situation is hard but let us try to fix it."
...and that will stop his dad from beating his sister and solve his rage problems? It seems a bit optimistic. or is this just the best we can hope for.... His dad isn't having anger management problems. His dad is almost guaranteed upset all the time because he is worried about how his family is doing. I never said anything about stopping his dad from beating anyone or not acting as he did. However, ultimately, it'll make it so ten years from now, YPang will be able to have an understanding relationship with his parents than some of the shithole situations some of these other "solutions" will create.
yo dawg, where did you buy your crystal ball? I've got some dolla' bills burning a hole in my pocket and I could use this sort of magical powers.
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On July 13 2010 13:51 KissBlade wrote:
His dad isn't having anger management problems. His dad is almost guaranteed upset all the time because he is worried about how his family is doing. I never said anything about stopping his dad from beating anyone or not acting as he did. However, ultimately, it'll make it so ten years from now, YPang will be able to have an understanding relationship with his parents than some of the shithole situations some of these other "solutions" will create.
My dad was like
"Go return these back into the store and get the ones for 7.99$" (in a rude tone)
"But i already got these"
"return it NOW we tried these sausages the last time and you know it wasn't good"
"okay"
"FUCK, don't return it, i don't want you to waste the gas money, if you're gonna return it walk and do it"
So because they went walking in the morning, they came back and my dad wanted some orange juice in the fridge. But the juice was placed deep in the fridge, and there was yogourt blocking it. So he just dragged the orange juice from inside the fridge and knocked out all the yogourt on the ground. Thats when my mom blew annd screamed "What the hell is your problem" i can understand because after being called trash/dumbass for buying the cheaper kind of sausage for a GOOD reason because my dad was the only guy with a job so she was trying to save money. So she got REALLY pissed and smashed a glass cup on the ground and it shattered.
"fine let's not eat anything this entire day then" says my dad
"okay fine, i was trying to be good hearted and save you money, and you rage about it" my mom responded.
So basically afterwards They went into seperate rooms for the entire time from 12:00pm to 5:30pm. My mom came to the kitchen to make me and my sister ramen at 3pm, she didn't have any though. At around 4:30pm, my dad went to cook himself food, and after he finished eating my mom went down to make us dumplings. As soon as my mom turned on the stove he went
"TURN IT OFF"
"Why? no"
"TURN IT OFF, Trashes like you don't deserver to eat"
"... FINE, i'm leaving the house to get fresh air" (While it was raining outside :\
Soon my dad yelled at my sister, and said
"Pick up these yogourts if you want it, if not i'm throwing it away"
Obviously my sister was frightened and picked them up and put them in the fridge. (But seriously you knocked it down, at least have the decency to put it back yourself...)
Few minutes later, he yelled my name
"YANG, you're dumb as a nut, go find your mom why are you sitting there like youre a dumbass".
Needless to say i was pissed and said, "don't you think its you should be the one to find her? you're weak as hell, can't even admit/ nor apologize for being an ass"
My sister wanted to come too, but she was caught by my dad while she was putting on her shoes.
At the end i found out that she was screamed, at, and was forced to slap herself on the face hard (This happens often as punishment for her) and was forced to stand in the basement.
As a child i used to get beaten by my dad for various reasons mostly school, and other times just because he gets pissed off, he's afraid to do it now because he knows i will strick back.
Few month ago, my sister's face was red with bruises, and was made to lie to teachers and students saying that it was just a rash. And she is often kicked not sure about the strength of kick, but definitly enough to get her to be on her butt.
I used to get belted, with bruises over my leg, my sides on the body, and my arms would be totally red. He doesn't dare to do it anymore though to me anyways.
uhhhhhhhh......
And you say your solution won't stop him from beating his sister with a belt, forcing her to slap herself and making her stand in the basement. I think this is also a problem that needs solving. Do you have any advice on this point?
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I still think my course of action is best, ok gg no re.
On a more serious note. If his father is actually worried.. even tho with all the abuse going on.. some1 has to open his eyes that his actions isnt benefiting his family. And what better for his eyes to open to see him behind bars.
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On July 13 2010 13:58 Orome wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:40 KissBlade wrote:On July 13 2010 13:29 Orome wrote:On July 13 2010 13:08 koreasilver wrote:
It's obviously easy to see that it is wrong. But it is hard to understand exactly why it is like so and what can be done about it. In this way KissBlade is correct. Obviously it is wrong by all means, but there are just some things that cannot be approached in the same way. There are some very deep seated issues in contemporary Asian culture that must be fixed in its own way and fashion. It must be approached from its own angle, not some kind of absolute "right". The tendency for Westerners to do this is a plague in of itself, as they are too blindsighted by their own ethnocentrism. It is so for all cultures to a degree, but you must understand that there are some things that you will never fully understand as you have never experienced it first hand to truly understand the nuances of the culture that are ingrained into the most fundamental aspects of the individuals. This isn't about right or wrong in any way, it's about protecting a minor that's being physically and emotionally abused. You can argue about what the most appropriate course of action is, but to say that 'this is asian culture' and he and his sister have no choice but to tough it out isn't showing great understanding, it's fucking horrible. You're saying he should come to terms with his little sister being abused. (I actually regret suggesting that he go to the authorities, that was the typical reaction of an outsider who doesn't know any of the details and therefore can't suggest a more subtle solution. The OP alone can judge what the most appropriate course of action is, but it's out of the question that he has to do something.) It's actually not "Asian culture". It's "Asian American immigration culture". China for example, pampers the crap out of their kids now because of more money one child policy, etc. What you're NOT understanding is that "toughing it out" means just doing well in school, talking out with his parents, etc. He got it, you won't get it because you haven't lived through this. What the standard Western proposal is, isn't going to work because frankly they're not equipped for the same situation. In fact, I will tell you a very personal story. I've tried a lot of these things that I'm railing against today. My cousin has tried those things. A family friend tried the thing I suggested doing. One of the three is very successful in life while another one realized what he was taught by his Western peers didn't work because it was dealing with ultimately, a different environment, and now is on a better track for that realization. The third keeps at it and is still coming at odds with his parents. Guess which is which? Orome, I know your posts have always meant well but you are twisting words and meanings because some things don't come across clearly through simple text on the screen. I know how frustrating it can be to argue with someone who has no first-hand experience of something and doesn't realize he's wrong, but I just have a very hard time believing that all it takes for ypang's family to function is for him and his sister to do well in school (and the solution is a very imperfect one in any case). You really think his father would start treating his mother decently if his children were doing better academically?
What I think is not 100% definite. It is obviously anecdotal. However, it is from what I feel a larger pool of experience than most others in their thread. Furthermore, a lot of advice that I'm against are the more antagonistic ones because think about it from a logical standpoint at how this situation is. Create the type of mindset the family members have. Does some of these solutions not strike you as trying to wash out fire with oil?
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On July 13 2010 13:45 koreasilver wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 13:29 Orome wrote:On July 13 2010 13:08 koreasilver wrote:
It's obviously easy to see that it is wrong. But it is hard to understand exactly why it is like so and what can be done about it. In this way KissBlade is correct. Obviously it is wrong by all means, but there are just some things that cannot be approached in the same way. There are some very deep seated issues in contemporary Asian culture that must be fixed in its own way and fashion. It must be approached from its own angle, not some kind of absolute "right". The tendency for Westerners to do this is a plague in of itself, as they are too blindsighted by their own ethnocentrism. It is so for all cultures to a degree, but you must understand that there are some things that you will never fully understand as you have never experienced it first hand to truly understand the nuances of the culture that are ingrained into the most fundamental aspects of the individuals. This isn't about right or wrong in any way, it's about protecting a minor that's being physically and emotionally abused. You can argue about what the most appropriate course of action is, but to say that 'this is asian culture' and he and his sister have no choice but to tough it out isn't showing great understanding, it's fucking horrible. You're saying he should come to terms with his little sister being abused. (I actually regret suggesting that he go to the authorities, that was the typical reaction of an outsider who doesn't know any of the details and therefore can't suggest a more subtle solution. The OP alone can judge what the most appropriate course of action is, but it's out of the question that he has to do something.) I've told him to focus on himself and his sister. All my criticism comes from what you people are telling him to do about his mom and his dad, not his sister. If you've actually really read into my few posts in this thread then you would have known so, that you are completely misreading whatever I am writing, and that your accusations are baseless. You are making an argument constructed completely upon emotion without any actual experience or subtle understanding, and this is why your "advice" doesn't hold much value in this situation.
There's a misunderstanding here, I wasn't accusing you of anything. The 'You' in 'You're saying he should come to terms with his little sister being abused' was supposed to be a neutral you, like 'One would be saying that...' Badly phrased, sorry about that. If anyone it was directed as KissBlade, but he's since made his position understandable as well.
That I'm making an argument constructed on emotion is true, but it's not the downfall of it because my argument remains very general, based on very basic values. In essence, all I'm saying is: girl gets abused, girl getting abused is bad, he's the one who can help her ---> he has to do something about it! I would have hoped we could all agree on that.
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EPT
