EPTIn the center of a deep, deep crater, where only the faintest of light is able to reach, you see an old Cat, with long, flowing gray hair, whiskers as long as the moon itself, flowing down to the ground. He lights his cigar -- A Cuban, no doubt, Trade Embargos have no effect on the moon, and this old Cat would surely settle only for the best. He takes what is left of his match and tosses it in to a glass lantern.
The lantern lights up, and you see at least ten kittens sitting around this old Cat, rocking back and forth in his chair, smoking his cigar with the shiny gold ring near the tip. He appears to be reading a childrens' book to the kittens.
But Suddenly!
A Challenger Approaches!
The old cat disappears, as if he were but a mirage. The kittens clump together... they grow, grow grow! They have fused to form some sort of giant super-kitten! Needless to say, the challenger, whatever it may have been, flees from the might of the super kitten.
Satisfied by a job well done, the kittens detach from one another and fall back to the earth.
Back on earth, the kittens remain friends.
Every night, they band together to fight crime. Similar to The Bat Man, really, but with the man, and Cats instead of Bats.
On top of fighting crime during the night, these Kittens volunteer at a homeless shelter, where they befriend the many homeless who require a soft, furry friend to make them feel better about themselves.
We should all learn a lesson from these kittens, for every time they pass a man with a can, or a child inside of a box, the leave money, regardless whether or not he or she was asking for it, because they are good Samaritans.
After a good deal of time, at least in Cat years, the Kittens decide to hang up the spandex. The Night-Life crime was just too dangerous for them. Not wanting to goo their separate ways, the Kittens decided to form a band -- A band the likes of which have never been seen!
They have fused together the gritty blues of Louis Armstrong and B.B. King with the peppy, over-joyous Japanese pop genre frequently seen as the opening song to many Anime.
After playing several live shows in various pubs and clubs and all of that, one of their favorite bands, Porcupine Tree, has invited the kittens to open for them at their next concert!
It's show time... but wait!
-babump-
-babump-
-babump-
-babump-
One of the kittens is nervous! She's always had a little stage fright, and she's definitely never played in front of so large a crowd!
Fortunately, after a few minutes of convincing and cheering up, she's ready to go!
...
...
...
...
The show was amazing! Thunderous applause for the band of kittens! And what's this!? A scout heard about the amateur opening and decided to attend! They've been offered a record deal! The kittens are going to hit it big!
But... Hold on... The drummer has collapsed! They rush him to the hospital...
Oh No! He has contracted Polio! The kittens decide not to play without their friend. They must turn down the record deal. Every day, in as a group, they visit their friend as he slowly whittles away, the flower of his youth and health degrading.
It's a rainy day. Thunder can be heard, Lightning can be seen. All who attend are his band mates and the priest. As they lower the coffin 6 feet in to the ground, and begin to cover it with the dirt, the remaining kittens sing the song their drummer wrote for their record deal, a-Capella. The wet, grimy mud is poured on top of the coffin until only the small rectangular mark of a hole once dug is seen. The kittens remove their hats and bow.
They go their separate ways. Once a year, they meet up in the pub where they first played. They talk, they reminisce, the catch up. The air is filled with smoke. The room is a blur, just as is the long history of their past. They each light their cigars and sit in silence until the very last drag, in memory of their friend, the drummer.
They each live out the rest of their lives as simple house cats. In a way, this is a good thing. They never had to make the choice to stop their exciting lives and settle down. The universe naturally brought it to them. One of the hardest decisions everybody must make at some point is to stop the exciting life of youth, and settle down. Admit that you are no longer capable of the things you used to be capable of. Something terrible may have happened to these kittens... But perhaps... a blessing in disguise.
~Fin.
tl;dr: My friends think its funny when crime fighting kittens who volunteer at homeless shelters and play in an amazing J-Bop band consisting of other kittens contract polio.
![[image loading]](http://library.stcc.edu/blogger/uploaded_images/kitten-64-797466.jpg)
