EPT
Girl Help
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canucks12
Canada812 Posts
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deathgod6
United States5064 Posts
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Empyrean
16953 Posts
So yeah, give it a shot. Fortune favors the bold. | ||
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Kyuukyuu
Canada6263 Posts
if you don't want to give up on it then the choice is clear, no? | ||
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overpool
United States191 Posts
Hi! I'm overpool's friend -- and I'm a girl so I can help you out! So it really depends on what kind of a girl she is. I wouldn't declare outright that you like her, but try to make it seem obvious by doing things like trying to hold hands or taking her to dinner! That way she'll get a hint but you won't risk ruining your friendship. </advice> | ||
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meeple
Canada10211 Posts
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=105334 I agree with Empyrean. Just go for it, you won't ruin the friendship unless you make things awkward. Just be natural. | ||
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lone_hydra
Canada1460 Posts
On November 16 2009 11:26 Kyuukyuu wrote: you can tell her, or you can give up on her entirely if you don't want to give up on it then the choice is clear, no? Or maybe you still want to talk to her as a friend, or find out what she likes in a guy and work towards that, so many options and factors.... I wish these types of decisions were that easy, but its not black or white. | ||
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wok
United States504 Posts
Sing her a cheesy song about your undying love with a rose in your mouth and a longing look in your eyes. A song like "I will follow you into the dark" or slightly more classic "When I fall in love" or even more classic "unchained melody" would work great for this. Even better, write your own. Just make sure it would sound obsessive enough to warrant a restraining order were it not sung to wonderful wonderful background music provided ideally by an acoustic guitar, beaten up a little to show how sensitive you are. (If you'd like more specific instructions on how to make a guitar look old, pm me and i'll direct you to some websites that sell very high quality sand paper.) Now this is a pretty all-in approach, I must admit, so the adaptability you're looking for in the more standard approaches above, is out of the question. But this is only the first encounter in the huge BoX that is your whole life. Learn a lesson from July v. Best and start off strong  GL HF. | ||
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Binky1842
United States2599 Posts
this happened to me this summer with a very good friend. i eventually told her, she didn't feel the same way. we laugh about it now. don't pass up the opportunity if this is truly the first girl you've ever liked. it's an important time in your life and if you don't tell her, you'll regret it later. be fair to her and to yourself, tell her. | ||
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Zortch
Canada635 Posts
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Kyuukyuu
Canada6263 Posts
On November 16 2009 11:30 lone_hydra wrote: Or maybe you still want to talk to her as a friend, or find out what she likes in a guy and work towards that, so many options and factors.... I wish these types of decisions were that easy, but its not black or white. I meant giving up on her romantically, obviously | ||
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grobo
Japan6199 Posts
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ArcticxWolf
Canada45 Posts
On November 16 2009 11:34 Zortch wrote: Just ask her out man! :D Yap | ||
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anderoo
Canada1876 Posts
do it do it | ||
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hcliff454
Canada127 Posts
On November 16 2009 11:49 anderoo wrote: one time me and this girl i was really good friends with liked each other for like a year and both of us were too scared to say anything, now we're dating, lawl do it do it tru dat honey <3 | ||
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
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JohannesH
Finland1364 Posts
If you wanna spend more time with her you dont have to make it 100% clear right off the bat that you want her. But ofc you can make it clear if you like. | ||
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decafchicken
United States19984 Posts
On November 16 2009 11:19 canucks12 wrote: Hello everybody. I am a first year university student and for the first time in my life I have met a girl that I really like. I have known her since late September/ early October, and we see each other about 2-3 times a week for a couple of hours to play sports or eat lunch and such. The problem for me is that she seems to only want to be friends (this is just the vibe that I get, but I don't know for sure) and I have never really opened up to her that I really like her. I don't really know much about girls (if at all) and I don't know what would happen if I opened up to her. I really want to preserve our friendship if it turns out that she doesn't like me in that sense. I have never had a girlfriend before and as far as I know, she has never had a boyfriend. I am asking a very generic question here, I am sure that many of you have seen this before with other people, but I really don't know what to do. If she wouldn't like me as more than a friend, would it make things awkward if I tell her that I do? Should I tell her anyways? I have a feeling that keeping it to myself would be bad, but like I said, I don't have experience with this... Can anybody, who is more experienced, give me some advice, and please only reply with serious help. I am contemplating both options, and I really can't say what would happen if i did either :/ Thanks in advance. Ask her if she wants to go to a party with you. have dinner + pregame and such before hand and you should have a pretty honest idea of where the relationship is going about 4-5 drinks in. That being said as soon as you said you think she wants to be friends, you were fucked. friend zone = gg | ||
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wok
United States504 Posts
On November 16 2009 12:00 YPang wrote: Tell her you want to have a relationship with her, if she doesn't get the hint and continues to go "Oh lets just be friends" then your final last option is to wipe it out, and cock your guy. Wut? | ||
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KissBlade
United States5718 Posts
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
lol typos updated | ||
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GeneralStan
United States4789 Posts
The best way is probably to ask her out to coffee or a movie. Something that is friendly and casual, but one on one and somewhat date like. Make sure to flirt with her a lot, and if things go well, just tell her. There is NO CHANCE that she is going to stop being friends with you, even if she doesn't like you. A girl will usually make an extra effort to keep you as a friend after she friend zones you. Since being friends with her only is an acceptable outcome, it seems that you have nothing to lose. On November 16 2009 12:09 decafchicken wrote: That being said as soon as you said you think she wants to be friends, you were fucked. friend zone = gg I don' agree with this. The longer you are her friend without asking her out, the more likely the friend zone is just going to happen as a matter of inertia, but you aren't friend zoned until she actually says it. That said, you do have to be confident. If you go in nervously acting like you know she's going to say it, she's going to say it. If you go in acting like she's going to say yes, then you're in better shape. | ||
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toastybunz
United States47 Posts
On November 16 2009 12:02 JohannesH wrote: Depends on what she's like... Get into same parties she goes to, ask if she would be interested in watching some movie you think she'd like, slap her ass, make it a formal date and buy her dinner, ask for jogging company, offer her cocaine, whatever suits you/her... If you wanna spend more time with her you dont have to make it 100% clear right off the bat that you want her. But ofc you can make it clear if you like. go along these lines, but please do not slap her ass -_- unless you guys are thisclose already - in which case you wouldn't need our help in the first place. i'd definitely start out by talking about a movie that you want/have seen that she's interested in. tbh if she likes you, she'll jump on this chance and go with it even if it's a movie she's not ecstatic about. that's actually how my boyfriend and i got together we watched the orphanage and exorcism of emily rose and i despise scary movies. gl and update us! | ||
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blue_arrow
1971 Posts
For starters, you should do things like stare at her for longer than what you normally would, and then quickly look away when she sees you staring. Change other things such as giving her constant smiles, or appearing to be slightly nervous when around her. act protective of her, etc etc. These signals could be interpreted differently for every girl, and some girls might identify more with other signals, but most of the time the girl should realize that you've taken a liking to her as these signs are some of the most basic and intuitive for most people. If she starts showing signs back then just go for it and ask her out. There's nothing to be afraid of, it's just a question on the path to a relationship that has already started... | ||
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Torenhire
United States11681 Posts
On November 16 2009 11:34 Zortch wrote: Just ask her out man! :D This. Plain and simple.  | ||
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n.DieJokes
United States3443 Posts
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alffla
Hong Kong20321 Posts
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alffla
Hong Kong20321 Posts
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DyEnasTy
United States3714 Posts
Lol yeah. I think he edited it though cause now it says "Whip it out, and cock your gun" | ||
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EtherealDeath
United States8366 Posts
On November 16 2009 11:28 overpool wrote: <advice src="a nearby girl" type="romantic/generic"> Hi! I'm overpool's friend -- and I'm a girl so I can help you out! So it really depends on what kind of a girl she is. I wouldn't declare outright that you like her, but try to make it seem obvious by doing things like trying to hold hands or taking her to dinner! That way she'll get a hint but you won't risk ruining your friendship. </advice> Oh shit the latter counts as a hint? Oh dear... | ||
ShaperofDreams
Canada2492 Posts
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JohannesH
Finland1364 Posts
On November 16 2009 12:58 alffla wrote: just wipe it out and cock your guy Hmm yeah just do this... Plain and simple! | ||
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akevin
Canada120 Posts
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blabber
United States4448 Posts
On November 16 2009 13:46 akevin wrote: Well personally I don't know what the rush is...I was in this situation with my now gf for like a year and it all worked out in the end. If shes really interested in you then it will happen and its unlikely someone else will swoop in and steal her. If she isn't I can only imagine that the majority of the advice listed before me would make the situation more awkward and uncomfortable. She might be like maybe I shouldn't spend time with this guy who only thinks about how he wants to fuck me lol. But in the end it really depends on the girl...some girls are just looking for a good friend and they unfortunately lead you on thinking you have a chance, in such cases better to find out right at the beginning. Since you sound interested in maintaining the friendship regardless, I would opt for a more subtle route, ie. start spending more and more time with her, and very casual dates. the earlier you do it, the earlier you can move on with life | ||
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Zapdos_Smithh
Canada2620 Posts
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Equaoh
Canada427 Posts
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Exteray
United States1094 Posts
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bloopie
United States123 Posts
On November 16 2009 15:01 Exteray wrote: What would make you really bond and get to know each other on a personal level is to talk about relationships that would simply make you be on the route to be the best friend but not boyfriend that much faster.. | ||
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uNcontroLable
United States1180 Posts
Is it common for girls to have secret crushes on people who they hang out with almost every day? There is a girl I know who I hang out with almost every day. I study with her, laugh with her, sit around and do nothing with her and we talk about almost everything. I have a giant crush on her but I have ruined so many relationships I would like to take this one slow because it seems so worth it. She laughs at my jokes but she never touches me and I never touch her for some reason. I think she really does like me as more than a friend but I cannot tell. I firmly believe that we have a good relationship going and that real relationships cannot be forced and will happen automatically if it was meant to work. So my question to you is: Should I just continue being a great guy to her and not inquire about how she feels about me or should i take this opportunity to ask her out? Thanks This is a really tough question to answer with any degree of certainty, seeing as I don't know her or how your friendship works, but here's my take: It's all a question of risk versus gain. It sounds like you guys have a really good, strong, enjoyable friendship. If you tell her you have feelings for her, and she doesn't feel the same, you risk making things awkward, or possibly changing or even harming the relationship as it exists in the status quo. However, if you tell her and she does feel the same, you gain a more intimate relationship with someone you have strong feelings for. Basically, you have to decide if the chance at a relationship with her is worth the possibility of losing what you already have. Now, that said, it sounds like you guys have a pretty healthy and close friendship. As such, you probably have a good idea what she thinks and feels, and how she will react to what you say. The ideal situation is one where you can be completely open and honest, talk everything out, and go on from there, even closer than you were before, whether you end up in a romantic relationship or not. However, if that's improbable, it is possible to try and ascertain her feelings without putting yours in the open. This is more of the wussy way, but it definitely has it's usefulness. Wait for the opportunity in a conversation to talk about friends becoming romantic. Like if you watch a movie where it happens, or you see something funny happen between a couple, or if something a couple does in both of your view relates to something you guys do or have done, use it to propose the hypothetical situation of you two being a couple, in order to see how she reacts. for example: *you just watched a movie where a pair of best friends fall for each other and end up together in the end* "Haha, I wonder how often that happens in real life." "What?" "You know, people who think they are just friends finding out that they actually have feelings for each other." "Yeah, I dunno." "Hahaha, ohhh, I get it, you secretly have feelings for me, don't you? *flirty flirty etc*" ...at which point she will either react with giggly protestations, or an explanation of why that could or couldn't happen between you. Keep in mind, if she likes you, she is just as nervous about revealing it as you are, so you are looking for non-verbal cues, not necessarily the words she actually says. Or, as another example, observe that you guys are like a couple, and start it as a line of joking. For example, if you have a dispute over something silly or do a household chore for each other, joke that you are like a married couple, and see if she goes along. You know, that kind of thing. In experimenting with her reactions, you can try to get a better idea as to how she would react if you outright told her you had feelings for her. Keep in mind, in my experience, girls love to feel attractive and interesting, so when they find out a guy has feelings for them... they are likely to find him interesting too... All in all, all communication theory and tricky techniquing aside... my personal recommendation would be just to keep taking it slow. You have nothing to lose by staying friends, spending time together, and letting things develop in their own time. If anything, like you said, it has a higher potential of creating a more successful relationship. I say, don't push it, but do be ready to be honest about your feelings as soon as the time is right, or, tell her how you feel right away, if you feel like it's worth the risk. | ||
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madnessman
United States1581 Posts
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Mortician
Bulgaria2332 Posts
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Ghardo
Germany1685 Posts
so this would be the most secure way in my eyes... being open to a relationship and signaling that you're not only her best friend but also a potential mate and at the same time not rushing it. if you manage to bring that across confidently it's the best way to tease out her true / possible feelings for you without risking anything. and from my experience, things will happen more or less automatically when the time is ripe and you sent the right signals. if you knew for sure how she feels about you i'd agree "yeah, just be yourself and right out tell her, man up, and if you were wrong: there are millions of other girls" - but in that case you would not have to look for help on an internet forum and you'd already be a couple, so... my two cents | ||
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mnm
United States4493 Posts
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