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Active: 770 users

Why is it that most parents go insane? - Page 3

Blogs > eMbrace
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SirGlinG
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Sweden933 Posts
November 02 2009 00:15 GMT
#41
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Displacement_(psychology)
?
Not my chair. Not my problem. That's what I say
HeaDStrong
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Scotland785 Posts
November 02 2009 01:13 GMT
#42
I'm in a difficult position with my parents, we dont get along too well... I mean I am thankful for every single thing they gave me- love, food, home, education and so on... but i cant seem to respect them- we have nothing in common, I can't talk to them.

The good thing is that we live separately- i go to uni, but the thought that I'm consuming my parents money is just killing me. I want to break away ASAP, but wont happen before i finish university.

well i might sound like im going through 2nd puberty...
Mastermind
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Canada7096 Posts
November 02 2009 01:20 GMT
#43
I would be pretty pissed off too if I had 8 kids to take care of.
evanthebouncy!
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States12796 Posts
November 02 2009 01:43 GMT
#44
Just chill out. My parents yell at me too I just ignore them and they steam themselves out and I take out the trash and make them some tea.
No worries!
Life is run, it is dance, it is fast, passionate and BAM!, you dance and sing and booze while you can for now is the time and time is mine. Smile and laugh when still can for now is the time and soon you die!
evanthebouncy!
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States12796 Posts
November 02 2009 01:44 GMT
#45
On November 02 2009 10:20 Mastermind wrote:
I would be pretty pissed off too if I had 8 kids to take care of.

That too.
Why did your parents have 8 kids? It's just asking for trouble lol
Life is run, it is dance, it is fast, passionate and BAM!, you dance and sing and booze while you can for now is the time and time is mine. Smile and laugh when still can for now is the time and soon you die!
biomedical
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
235 Posts
November 02 2009 02:01 GMT
#46
Above all else its because they dont respect you. Theyd never talk to another adult like that. They dont respect you or view you as an equal. Why? Its complicated, and includes the facts that youre younger, a gamer, have less responsibility etc. But thats the raw truth + explanation whether u like it or not. Its a human thing
Archaic
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States4024 Posts
November 02 2009 02:03 GMT
#47
I'm guessing your asian, which is how I'm going to be basing my perspective. The earlier statement of doing something without being asked being more weighted is definitely true. But there is a small exception. It has be to different. I've left the kitchen somewhat messy, or forgot to wash dishes and I get Hell for it, having my mom yelling at me for how much of a slob I am, or how lazy, etc. But the thing is on the days I do it based off incentive, decide to cook dinner, clean everything, no comment, at all. My mom would come home, say nothing, and then just eat, like any other day.

As for dealing with their abnormally short fuse, the tl;dr is don't. You don't have to deal with it. They will always explode about the tiniest things; it's a fact of life. They will usually go insane from the various other stresses from their life. Asian parents work too hard, try to control too much, care about everything. They have their paper work, probably other people's work or issues to deal with, and then they can't do anything, because they will get fired. Now, they get home, find out their child got an 87% on a test, and that's all they need to funnel out all that stress in the form that they naturally decide to use; yelling. Their children are the ones that they have complete control over, and they will often rationalize that it good parenting, for a good future.

Though, this is all my analysis of an asian parent's psyche, coming from a subjective point of view.
Husky
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States3362 Posts
November 02 2009 02:06 GMT
#48
1/5 for making a blog like one I would have made freshmen year of highschool
Commentaries: youtube.com/HuskyStarcraft
Disregard
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
China10252 Posts
November 02 2009 02:07 GMT
#49
This happened to me, but after a certain period of time... They stopped caring, I just do it on my own time.
"If I had to take a drug in order to be free, I'm screwed. Freedom exists in the mind, otherwise it doesn't exist."
Cloud
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Sexico5880 Posts
November 02 2009 02:09 GMT
#50
On November 02 2009 06:41 eMbrace wrote:
I do my own laundry and others when asked to. I do the dishes when asked to (all the time, no big deal). I take the trash out and bring it back in every week. I clean what is asked to blah blah blah.


Believe me, anyone who gets fed for free does anything when asked to.

Your parents sound like they want you to take some initiative.

Do something without being asked to.

Because it's annoying as fuck seeing as you're already in your college years and you can't possibly have learnt that it is expected of you without having to remind you.
BlueLaguna on West, msg for game.
Snet *
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States3573 Posts
November 02 2009 02:15 GMT
#51
I can see where my parents are coming from now that I'm older. It's their house and you periodically leave a mess in it for over 18 years (depending on your age). After a while, it will start to annoy anybody.

If someone comes in my room and starts touching things, I really don't care. But if someone comes in my room and leaves a mess of things I would get annoyed.

You have to look at it in this way. It's not those single solitary moments that they get angry about, its a collective annoyance of your entire childhood and 18 years of having a child in your house making a mess. They are probably fed up with it by now - and I know I would be too when I'm a parent.
eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
November 02 2009 02:25 GMT
#52
On November 02 2009 11:06 HuskyTheHusky wrote:
1/5 for making a blog like one I would have made freshmen year of highschool


Thanks for that
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
November 02 2009 02:26 GMT
#53
This thread seems pretty heartless, "but they fed you for 18 years and do everything for you and raise you!". A child is not a border, he/shes your flesh and blood; no one asks to be a dependant for the first 18 (or so) years of their life, thats just how it works. At the op, I just don't think anyone likes waiting; I wouldn't take it so personally.
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
November 02 2009 02:49 GMT
#54
Wow, OP, I really admire your behavior. Makes me feel like an ungrateful prick, but I'm starting to appreciate my parents more and more.

Regarding your question, I think you answered your own question when you said that it takes a certain situation for your parents to blow up unreasonably. My parents aren't anything like that but I can imagine how a person would be like that. It doesn't seem to be a too big of a deal (although I'm not saying that there's no reason for you to post this blog) and it's just something that happens in life and that some people just have to deal with.
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-05 23:48:50
November 02 2009 02:52 GMT
#55
i
Cloud
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Sexico5880 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-02 03:33:52
November 02 2009 03:29 GMT
#56
Well, you did write a lot of shit which i didn't mention, while shrugging away my post with one line.

If you're not willing to try the one thing that might change your parents mood (you did ask for suggestions right?), which is initiative, then we really don't give a crap about the rest of your bitching, make a youtube video if you need to vent on the internet.

And if you're gonna start comparing yourself to other people (bad idea), consider yourself lucky you're still living with your parents (which you obviously want) in your college years.

And I never mentioned anything about good parenting or whatever, but you're living with people who provide you with vital stuff for free (an assumption, but likely true). Being mad at them for yelling at you, is not necessarily ungrateful (it's not like I give a crap anyway), it's unproductive, as in, it's useless, and won't ever fix it.
BlueLaguna on West, msg for game.
inertinept
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Bangladesh1195 Posts
November 02 2009 03:36 GMT
#57
lotta kids in here either got the belt or are extremely ignorant. Basically just bashing the OP at this point for the sake of argument, geez.
With a gust of wind, perhaps.
UGC4
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Peru532 Posts
November 02 2009 03:37 GMT
#58
On November 02 2009 11:52 eMbrace wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2009 11:09 Cloud wrote:
On November 02 2009 06:41 eMbrace wrote:
I do my own laundry and others when asked to. I do the dishes when asked to (all the time, no big deal). I take the trash out and bring it back in every week. I clean what is asked to blah blah blah.


Believe me, anyone who gets fed for free does anything when asked to.

Your parents sound like they want you to take some initiative.

Do something without being asked to.

Because it's annoying as fuck seeing as you're already in your college years and you can't possibly have learnt that it is expected of you without having to remind you.



If my parents never bugged me about any household chores -- I'd eventually get them done anyways.

It's starting to get annoying that people think I'm being whiny and immature, and that I don't respect my parents.

This is about petty situations resulting in absolutely terrible fits of rage. It's not justifiable. It's tolerable, and I've never raised a finger to them my entire life about it -- so don't try to say I'm bitching. This blog was about trying to understand it, not to cry about it.

When I was younger they left me home alone several times, for weeks at a time. It was paradise. I still had all the chores to do, but I decided when they would get done.

No stress what so ever. Chores are easy, after all. Dishes take what? 5 minutes out of your day? It's nothing to bitch about. Feed the dogs, take them for walks, clean the house, make dinner for yourself, make sure dishes are clean blah blah blah.

The moment they walk in the door however, stress levels shoot through the roof. All those petty tasks that you can do comfortably throughout the day on your own time suddenly have time bombs attached to them and you can't sit the fuck down without someone screaming at you through 4 walls.

and I know, people will say, "QQ more little boy, they shelter and feed you, get off your stupid iCCup game and do what they ask."

i don't agree with that outlook at all. most other families I've witnessed have kids who never do shit, ever. they are either spoiled, or just say "No, you do the dishes, I'm busy!" and yet my parents say I fail at life because I feel like a cereal box can be put away at 4:30 as opposed to 4:29?

it really doesn't feel good at all to be told how terrible a son you are every time a dirty dish is spotted -- but I guess people here think that's what good parenting is.






nah buddy they are just being stupid/not helpful with your problem. heres what i think...

its clear that your parents are constantly stressed out, be it due to their jobs, their 8 children, their relationship itself, etc. often times, people take their stress out on others unintentionally. this happens to everyone though, and i know u understand this cuz u seem to be a good son by helping around as much as u do, i think its admirable. ur right, most households have children that are not exactly as helpful as you are, mine included, so i could learn from u as a matter of fact.
but it is unfortunate that your parents still go psycho on u for seemingly no reason. what i think u should do is have a talk with them, at the right moment, and tell them look, i always try to help out around the house, i dont mind it at all, in fact i like doing it to show u guys that i am a conscious and mature person. but im also entitled to having my hobbies, and one of them is playing on the computer. i really enjoy it, and before u start telling me how i play way too much or how i neglect the household chores for it, recognize that i could be out there being a lot worse than i am in here. i could be doing drugs, partying and wasting my life away, but im not, i like having my own space once in a while where i can just relax and play on the computer. honestly, some times i dont feel like u guys give me enough space or independence to do my own thing. i need u to please understand that some times when im playing i cant just stop in the middle of it and do what you ask me to immediately. but know that once im done, i'll get the chores done immediately after.

when i was younger my mom would have my meals done, and i'd be playing, so i'd take a while to get to the table, so i know where ur coming from. now that i look back, me making her wait after she cooked for me was much worse than your situation. but i did the same thing i just talked to her and eventually she understood hope that helps
#1 Movie fan~ he's got so much skill it oozes out of his skin in the form of acne. ~family comes first~
eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-02 03:41:47
November 02 2009 03:40 GMT
#59
On November 02 2009 12:29 Cloud wrote:
Well, you did write a lot of shit which i didn't mention, while shrugging away my post with one line.

If you're not willing to try the one thing that might change your parents mood (you did ask for suggestions right?), which is initiative, then we really don't give a crap about the rest of your bitching, make a youtube video if you need to vent on the internet.

And if you're gonna start comparing yourself to other people (bad idea), consider yourself lucky you're still living with your parents (which you obviously want) in your college years.


Once again, I get the vibe that you are implying that I am an ungrateful son because I pointed out what I believe to be a parenting flaw.

I'm well aware I live a great life. I clearly stated in the OP that I thought I had very good parents and that I in no way trying to say I dislike them.

I just don't see why I can't bring up a discussion about a common issue in parenting without being called a whiny bitch.

god forbid we don't learn from our parents, right? i'll just have kids some day and run the house like a bootcamp and if I stress my kids out than they are whiny brats, yeah?

i'm well aware that doing things without being asked makes parents happy -- i do it all the time. if i see something that needs to be done, I do it.

but naturally, when there are like 5 people in the house at once and everyone is doing their own thing -- tasks pop up that I may be unaware of. i don't know when the garbage can fills up when I'm no where near it, but I'll gladly empty it if you ask me to.

the only real way to solve the issue seems to be take initiative on everything, all the time.




Sky
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Jordan812 Posts
November 02 2009 03:44 GMT
#60
On November 02 2009 09:15 SirGlinG wrote:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Displacement_(psychology)
?


Sounds about right.

I got a flash of a family guy scene in my head, where Peter was on steroids.

...hehe...
...jumping into cold water whenever I get the chance.
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