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Preface: I'm in my third year as a Psychology major at Brock University in St. Catharines. I was originally in honours, but I had to drop down to a regular BA as my major average after two years was 76%, and you need to maintain an 80% major average.
I have two problems. The first problem, and it's the biggest and most immediate I feel is that I can't get motivated for my classes. I skip classes a lot, and although I always do all my work and hand it on time, it's rarely indicative of the kind of work I can produce if I focus. You could just say I'm a lazy student, but I really feel that I am just not motivated to work.
I really want to do something in my life that makes a difference for other people, and my plan was to apply for law school and become a criminal lawyer, as I really like logic, reasoning, and debating. I know I don't have the grades to get into a law school here. Your overall average has to be 80%, and my average is more like 75%. This is exacerbated because I feel like all the work I do I have to do like essays, etc are meaningless.
I've been considering taking a year off after I graduate and try to use my BA in Psychology to get a job where I can help people and try to make a difference, then maybe I can apply to graduate school later on.
I don't really know what I want out of this blog. Any advice would be nice if someone was in a similar position. I've recently been looking at groups I could volunteer or work for that do humanitarian efforts, but there's not a lot in Niagara Falls (where I live). I also feel like I'd be a failure if I simply got my lesser degree and started working.
I watched "Awakenings", the movie with Robin Williams and Robert DeNiro and I wished I was a doctor or someone like that - I really envied the work that Robin Williams' character was doing in the movie if anyone's seen it. Anyway, just posting this because I need to vent because it's getting me down. Any helpful words or advice would be appreciated.
Update: I'm going to sleep on it, and think about what's been said in this thread. At the very least, reading everything here has made me reconsider skipping class tomorrow morning.
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Man if i could do my education over I would work so damn hard. One thing you learn once you are out in the real world is that the only way to get what you want is to work damn hard for it, you have to want it.... no one is gonna hand it to you.
I got my degree in physics, i got a 1st (top grade if i remember right) and then did nothing with it. I could have gone on to do a post graduate, but I wanted to be a musician and that came first. Luckily I make a fairly decent living, but I look back at the opportunity i had back then and wish i'd taken the extra time to study further because I can never go back now.... too out of practice and have too many responsibilites.
I actually slacked my way through secondary school (high school to you) and college (last two years of high school for you), I even slacked my way through my degree, I always just got physics and maths and I'm one of those people who read or hear something once and can remember it pretty much verbatim..... great skill if you want to slack off..... bad skill if you want to actually succeed in life ;p
If you want something in life you have to go get it, motivation comes from wanting it, if you aren't motivated then you obviously don't want it bad enough. I wanted to be a musician and thats what I did, my parents gave me all kinds of shit, I still get all kinds of shit from people about how I'm wasting my intellect, but this is what I want to do with my life.
I have gone months without a gig, but I also teach guitar and singing, which is how i pay the bills.... unfortunately, the people around me meansure my success as a musician by how often I play gigs.... atm its very hard finding them because pubs and clubs simply don't have the customers to support paying my rates..... I would drop my rates but then it wouldn't be worth my time (bit like Idra costing $150ph, I cost £150-250 per night) as if i drop my rates I could make more teaching from the comfort of my own home and without the hassle of dragging my equipment around. But I still phone contacts nearly every day and am playing tonnes of open mics in the hopes of people booking me....
Anyways, I measure success on one factor.... am i happy?
I am happy, I have a great life with my gf and her son, I get to do the two of the things I love (teaching and music) and get paid for them. Thats the only thing that matters, its the only thing that should ever matter.
I look back with regret because I could have stayed in school and avoided alot of the bad things that happened to me and at the same time finished my education so that when I am older and no longer want to be out til 4am travelling home from a gig, I could have become a full time physics teacher and passed on my third love to a new generation.
My advice is simple, do whatever makes you happy, don't feel like you are obligated to fulfil other people's expectations of you and above all else...... if you want it, go get it, whatever it is because if you don't.... you will always look back and wonder "what if?"
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Counseling jobs for special needs people (not just brain damaged but simply messed up or orphaned kids) pay really well. they are also very challenging and educational. The job becomes your life, but it is a worthy cause.
I heard about it from people i know who worked in orphanages and things. i'm not personally qualified, although i have worked a social job (teaching kids how to bike) and even then it was really rewarding.
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On February 03 2011 15:23 Salv wrote:
Preface: I'm in my third year as a Psychology major at Brock University in St. Catharines. I was originally in honours, but I had to drop down to a regular BA as my major average after two years was 76%, and you need to maintain an 80% major average.
I have two problems. The first problem, and it's the biggest and most immediate I feel is that I can't get motivated for my classes. I skip classes a lot, and although I always do all my work and hand it on time, it's rarely indicative of the kind of work I can produce if I focus. You could just say I'm a lazy student, but I really feel that I am just not motivated to work.
I really want to do something in my life that makes a difference for other people, and my plan was to apply for law school and become a criminal lawyer, as I really like logic, reasoning, and debating. I know I don't have the grades to get into a law school here. Your overall average has to be 80%, and my average is more like 75%. This is exacerbated because I feel like all the work I do I have to do like essays, etc are meaningless.
I've been considering taking a year off after I graduate and try to use my BA in Psychology to get a job where I can help people and try to make a difference, then maybe I can apply to graduate school later on.
I don't really know what I want out of this blog. Any advice would be nice if someone was in a similar position. I've recently been looking at groups I could volunteer or work for that do humanitarian efforts, but there's not a lot in Niagara Falls (where I live). I also feel like I'd be a failure if I simply got my lesser degree and started working.
I watched "Awakenings", the movie with Robin Williams and Robert DeNiro and I wished I was a doctor or someone like that - I really envied the work that Robin Williams' character was doing in the movie if anyone's seen it. Anyway, just posting this because I need to vent because it's getting me down. Any helpful words or advice would be appreciated.
Well, the easiest thing to motivate you to do essays is that the better you do, the more you'll be set up for a good job in life. They also have practical applications: getting someone to agree with your position can be used in anything from job interviews to getting a raise in a job itself. Also keep in mind that the real job experience is a lot different than in a movie. I'm actually in sort of the same position, but a few hours northeast of your position. First year psyc, average from all classes of 77%( i never know when I'm doing well comparatively) my psyc and philosophy(the two courses im most interested in)were 82 and 84. But I chronically find the need for some kind of extra motivation.
As of yet, queerly, I've been repeating the mantra of getting back to the good life, you know, the phrase you hear in all those rap songs. But to me, at least, it's focused more on a comfortable life, a job I love to do and look forward to doing, and personal integrity and an outlook that's more positive than I have had in the past. Those things keep me from staying up too late and looking for sparse consciousness. I keep looking towards a better life in the future. Perhaps that's too optimistic of me, though.
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I think you shouldn't base your self-image around societies' views of succes and faillure.
Also, you seem to have a rather glorified picture of doctors and lawyers. Life isn't JAG, most lawyers fight useless petty lawsuits every day, don't expect to be saving an innocent man from a death sentence, ever. Lawyers have to be an asshole plenty of times and hurt or discredit the opposing party because it's their job. I wouldn't take them as an example of people "that make a difference".
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Well, of course I don't have all the information here, but I'll take a stab at this.
It sounds like you are a lazy student... sorry :/ People tend to skip classes when they aren't interested in working. College is for making you a well-rounded person, not catering to your specific tastes. You're in your third year, but you really don't seem to know what you want to do yet. You want to be a lawyer, a doctor... and you're in psychology. You have no focus here.
I know you want to help other people, but a career is for supporting yourself financially and mentally. Once you get a job, you can always find ways to volunteer your time and money to help the less fortunate. Since you're so deep in your major now, I'd suggest researching potential careers that would come from your BA. Graduate school is basically just a way to more easily get management positions in your field.
If you want my advice, I'd say grab the BA and hit the ground running. It's hard to get a job in this economy. Start small now, get your feet wet, and you can go to graduate school (if you want to) later on. Experience is key. Degrees don't really compare. Start building on that experience.
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I'm gonna start off and say that you should do what makes you happy, and you really need to focus on this. If you have a dream career as a doctor, you should pursue it if it makes you happy. I'm actually at some sort of a crossing roads too just like you, let me kind of explain my situation:
My mom and dad divorced when I was 16. Mom doesn't have a degree, so I got stuck trying to support her + 2 brothers and put myself to college. I always told myself I wanted to be a doctor because I would get to help people and I absolutely LOVE the science involved. I actually did really well in school and was always motivated, but I always put my family first and I put off studying for the MCAT.
I've graduated with my BS in Biochemistry, and I still want to pursue an MD/PhD since I love the research. However, I recently tore my ACL, and it was so bad that surgery was pretty much the only option since my range of motion was also extremely messed up. Anyways, due to the crappy American economy I've been jobless for the past 8 months. I tried doing freelance webdesign, I'm not amazing but I can make stuff. I tried starting up a business, no go. I was trying to just get some income doing something, but I just wasn't happy. Even if I was making money I always told myself that I'd regret it if I didn't do the MD/PhD regardless of how much money I was making.
So, recently, I decided to pick up the books and start studying regardless of whether I have a job or not because I can't keep postponing the test. I know that I should just pursue what I want to do while I'm young and have the opportunity. Like the poster above me said, if you want something you have to work damn hard for it. Just do what you want to do, and don't listen to anyone else.
US med school applications are ridiculously tricky, but they require tons of work and perseverance. I'm not sure how it is in Canada, but you can try your hand at some Canadian schools or even US schools. Also, you don't need to major in "pre-med". People with pretty much any major can get into med school. So, seriously, if you want it, go for it. PM me if you need any advice or anything regarding US med school applications.
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I just had another thought, I don't know how it works over the pond but in the UK what you studied at Uni isn't as important as the fact that you earned a degree.
My brother did a degree in Sport Science, he wanted to become a physio (I'm not sure if thats what they get called in North america, they help rehabilitate sportsmen after injuries) but ended up as an Investment banker..... go figure..... he eventually left that line of work (well before the banking crisis lol) and went into I.T recruitment, even though he can barely turn on a computer, and he now owns his own recruitment company in London.
His plan was really always to retire by age 30, which he hits this year, so I guess he's had to revise that goal, but the point I am making is that you degree shows that you can work hard,are intelligent and can learn new things... and thats what matters out in the real world, the degree opens the door, you just have to walk through it.
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On February 03 2011 15:52 Saechiis wrote:
I think you shouldn't base your self-image around societies' views of succes and faillure.
Also, you seem to have a rather glorified picture of doctors and lawyers. Life isn't JAG, most lawyers fight useless petty lawsuits every day, don't expect to be saving an innocent man from a death sentence, ever. Lawyers have to be an asshole plenty of times and hurt or discredit the opposing party because it's their job. I wouldn't take them as an example of people "that make a difference".
I really don't try to. I have a very supportive girlfriend who's happy as long as I am doing what I want to do. I was going to argue with you on your second point, but half of why I want to be a lawyer is because I love Matlock. A lawyer just always seemed like a job suited just for me: I love to debate/argue, and rational reasoning and logic I value very much. In the real world you're right though, it's probably just a job.
On February 03 2011 15:55 NukeTheStars wrote:
It sounds like you are a lazy student... sorry :/ People tend to skip classes when they aren't interested in working. College is for making you a well-rounded person, not catering to your specific tastes. You're in your third year, but you really don't seem to know what you want to do yet. You want to be a lawyer, a doctor... and you're in psychology. You have no focus here.
I know you want to help other people, but a career is for supporting yourself financially and mentally. Once you get a job, you can always find ways to volunteer your time and money to help the less fortunate. Since you're so deep in your major now, I'd suggest researching potential careers that would come from your BA. Graduate school is basically just a way to more easily get management positions in your field.
If you want my advice, I'd say grab the BA and hit the ground running. It's hard to get a job in this economy. Start small now, get your feet wet, and you can go to graduate school (if you want to) later on. Experience is key. Degrees don't really compare. Start building on that experience.
I'm really not interested in working, I wouldn't try to dispute that, I just have to look at my work ethic lately. I just feel that I'm not motivated because I don't care, and that's troubling because I'm already 2.5 years into a 4 year degree and I'm basically shutting down because it's not interesting me. Not to try to discredit what you're saying, because you make some good points, but you don't need to take pre-law to be a lawyer, in fact they suggest not taking it and Psychology is high on the list of majors they value.
I'm inclined to take your advice in your last paragraph, I've been looking around lately for a part-time job that has to do with helping people. Either working at a hospital, or trying to get into a clinic or mental hospital nearby. I worked with youth this past summer, but I didn't find it satisfying because they were teenagers and really didn't give a shit what I was trying to do for them.
On February 03 2011 16:03 yourwhiteshadow wrote:
I'm gonna start off and say that you should do what makes you happy, and you really need to focus on this. If you have a dream career as a doctor, you should pursue it if it makes you happy. I'm actually at some sort of a crossing roads too just like you, let me kind of explain my situation:
My mom and dad divorced when I was 16. Mom doesn't have a degree, so I got stuck trying to support her + 2 brothers and put myself to college. I always told myself I wanted to be a doctor because I would get to help people and I absolutely LOVE the science involved. I actually did really well in school and was always motivated, but I always put my family first and I put off studying for the MCAT.
I've graduated with my BS in Biochemistry, and I still want to pursue an MD/PhD since I love the research. However, I recently tore my ACL, and it was so bad that surgery was pretty much the only option since my range of motion was also extremely messed up. Anyways, due to the crappy American economy I've been jobless for the past 8 months. I tried doing freelance webdesign, I'm not amazing but I can make stuff. I tried starting up a business, no go. I was trying to just get some income doing something, but I just wasn't happy. Even if I was making money I always told myself that I'd regret it if I didn't do the MD/PhD regardless of how much money I was making.
So, recently, I decided to pick up the books and start studying regardless of whether I have a job or not because I can't keep postponing the test. I know that I should just pursue what I want to do while I'm young and have the opportunity. Like the poster above me said, if you want something you have to work damn hard for it. Just do what you want to do, and don't listen to anyone else.
US med school applications are ridiculously tricky, but they require tons of work and perseverance. I'm not sure how it is in Canada, but you can try your hand at some Canadian schools or even US schools. Also, you don't need to major in "pre-med". People with pretty much any major can get into med school. So, seriously, if you want it, go for it. PM me if you need any advice or anything regarding US med school applications.
Thanks for the post. I don't know if I am seriously considering trying for medical school, I mean if I don't have the grades for Law school, I don't have the grades for Med school. I could always go back and bump up my grades, or hope to do well on the LSATs, but really I'm leaning towards finishing my degree, getting a job, and playing it by ear.
I think I know deep down that my ideal plan, or so I thought isn't in the cards of rme, and I don't know if I want it to be either. I don't have a problem being true to myself, but I feel that if I do what I'm suggesting above I would be a failure, or I would be disappointing my parents.
P.S: I would assume this looks like I'm creating a pity party, but I'm really just venting and trying to look from other perspectives which every one here is helping with, so thanks.
On February 03 2011 16:15 emythrel wrote:
I just had another thought, I don't know how it works over the pond but in the UK what you studied at Uni isn't as important as the fact that you earned a degree.
My brother did a degree in Sport Science, he wanted to become a physio (I'm not sure if thats what they get called in North america, they help rehabilitate sportsmen after injuries) but ended up as an Investment banker..... go figure..... he eventually left that line of work (well before the banking crisis lol) and went into I.T recruitment, even though he can barely turn on a computer, and he now owns his own recruitment company in London.
His plan was really always to retire by age 30, which he hits this year, so I guess he's had to revise that goal, but the point I am making is that you degree shows that you can work hard,are intelligent and can learn new things... and thats what matters out in the real world, the degree opens the door, you just have to walk through it.
Good advice and story, thanks  .
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On February 03 2011 16:19 Salv wrote:
Thanks for the post. I don't know if I am seriously considering trying for medical school, I mean if I don't have the grades for Law school, I don't have the grades for Med school. I could always go back and bump up my grades, or hope to do well on the LSATs, but really I'm leaning towards finishing my degree, getting a job, and playing it by ear.
I think I know deep down that my ideal plan, or so I thought isn't in the cards of rme, and I don't know if I want it to be either. I don't have a problem being true to myself, but I feel that if I do what I'm suggesting above I would be a failure, or I would be disappointing my parents.
P.S: I would assume this looks like I'm creating a pity party, but I'm really just venting and trying to look from other perspectives which every one here is helping with, so thanks.
seriously, med school is competitive and so is law school, but trust me, i've seen tons of IDIOTS get in. i mean, lol, its just mind boggling how some people get in. even if your grades are bad, there are 'grade repair programs' out there that pretty much override any bad grades you may have. for example, there are special masters programs, essentially post-bac programs, that allow you to boost your GPA and have a good shot at getting into med schools. its a tough road, but if you want it right now, it still isn't too late. also, the global economy sucks ass right now, so good luck getting a decent job with a BA or BS. if you even get a decent job in the retail sector right now you'd be lucky. regardless of what you decide to do or pursue, try to stay in school even if it means taking loans to get a higher education.
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On February 03 2011 16:19 Salv wrote:
I'm really not interested in working, I wouldn't try to dispute that, I just have to look at my work ethic lately. I just feel that I'm not motivated because I don't care, and that's troubling because I'm already 2.5 years into a 4 year degree and I'm basically shutting down because it's not interesting me. Not to try to discredit what you're saying, because you make some good points, but you don't need to take pre-law to be a lawyer, in fact they suggest not taking it and Psychology is high on the list of majors they value.
I'm inclined to take your advice in your last paragraph, I've been looking around lately for a part-time job that has to do with helping people. Either working at a hospital, or trying to get into a clinic or mental hospital nearby. I worked with youth this past summer, but I didn't find it satisfying because they were teenagers and really didn't give a shit what I was trying to do for them.
Lack of motivation could be linked to fear of your post-school life, which is common. But you brought up something very interesting. You want to help people, but when the teens weren't appreciative, it hurt your drive. Most jobs that revolve around "helping people" tend to reap very little appreciation for the worker involved. The medical field, especially, is pretty thankless. I volunteered at a homeless shelter for a while and had the same feelings. It felt like I was helping people that didn't want to be helped and didn't care about bettering their position. It's infuriating and definitely not for everyone. You have to be okay with just helping people for the sake of helping them.
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On February 03 2011 16:41 NukeTheStars wrote:Show nested quote +On February 03 2011 16:19 Salv wrote:
I'm really not interested in working, I wouldn't try to dispute that, I just have to look at my work ethic lately. I just feel that I'm not motivated because I don't care, and that's troubling because I'm already 2.5 years into a 4 year degree and I'm basically shutting down because it's not interesting me. Not to try to discredit what you're saying, because you make some good points, but you don't need to take pre-law to be a lawyer, in fact they suggest not taking it and Psychology is high on the list of majors they value.
I'm inclined to take your advice in your last paragraph, I've been looking around lately for a part-time job that has to do with helping people. Either working at a hospital, or trying to get into a clinic or mental hospital nearby. I worked with youth this past summer, but I didn't find it satisfying because they were teenagers and really didn't give a shit what I was trying to do for them.
Lack of motivation could be linked to fear of your post-school life, which is common. But you brought up something very interesting. You want to help people, but when the teens weren't appreciative, it hurt your drive. Most jobs that revolve around "helping people" tend to reap very little appreciation for the worker involved. The medical field, especially, is pretty thankless. I volunteered at a homeless shelter for a while and had the same feelings. It felt like I was helping people that didn't want to be helped and didn't care about bettering their position. It's infuriating and definitely not for everyone. You have to be okay with just helping people for the sake of helping them.
Now that I've slept on it, I'm not sure if it was because the teens were unappreciative, or because they didn't actually need help. In Canada we have what are called Folk Arts Councils, and they are all throughout Ontario, and they're basically funded by Immigration Canada. When newcomer, and newcomer youth come to Canada, we help show them around the city, how to get access to different resources, and try to help them meet other people in similar situations.
Anyway, most of the youth simply come because their parents are involved, and they could personally care less. You try to help them out, show them cool things around town, but they are very receptive to it. It felt good when youth who really wanted your help came in and you could do something for them, but that was pretty rare, maybe one out of twenty people would be that way.
Thanks the post though. I feel better after reading these posts and sleeping on it. Still not sure what I'm going to do of course, but still  .
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Calgary25954 Posts
I don't really have any advice for you, but I think a lot of people end up in similar situations. You seem like a good guy so I hope you figure it out.
I'd just like to offer that "Doing what you love" isn't always the best approach. Many people in university who haven't worked a day in their lives will suggest this as if your daily life will go from blackened despair to fairies and rainbows when you do what you love. Maybe do what you find slightly interesting is a better place to aim. I don't love what I'm doing, but it has good days and the typical work is reasonably interesting.
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Pretty much agree with Chill here... sometimes doing what you love isn't always realistically possible (I.E. it won't give you enough money to live off of), but on the other hand, I suppose if you really love what you do and you're good enough at it and work hard enough, you should be able to make money from it.
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On February 04 2011 01:46 Chill wrote:
I'd just like to offer that "Doing what you love" isn't always the best approach. Many people in university who haven't worked a day in their lives will suggest this as if your daily life will go from blackened despair to fairies and rainbows when you do what you love. Maybe do what you find slightly interesting is a better place to aim. I don't love what I'm doing, but it has good days and the typical work is reasonably interesting.
This sounds the most reasonable. I'm not even really what that would be right now, but it's clear that finishing my degree and taking it from there is probably the best decision.
On February 04 2011 02:29 Xeris wrote:
Pretty much agree with Chill here... sometimes doing what you love isn't always realistically possible (I.E. it won't give you enough money to live off of), but on the other hand, I suppose if you really love what you do and you're good enough at it and work hard enough, you should be able to make money from it.
Thanks for the advice. I have a lot of thinking to do haha.
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Personally I think the whole "desire to be a criminal lawyer" bit should be the motivational for doing better in school.
Not sure what else to say except "beware of taking years off". The real world is much different from college. I'm in grad school and while it's closer to the real world, it's not the same. It's very easy to settle in to a comfortable routine and, before you know it, you're taking 2 years off, 3 years, 5 years...of the 25 students in my class only two came back after time away. It's great to get out and experience the world, but if your aim is to go back to school that needs to be a priority, the end goal of the experiences. If you're having a hard time motivating yourself now I could only imagine it getting worse after a time gap.
It's great to go with what you love, but I don't see that translating into jobs very often. My friends who graduated with writing degrees are now cashiers and secretaries (while writing on the side). My musician friends became teachers or part-time performers/full-time minimum wage jobs. Even my teacher friends got on the job and were immediately consumed, some contemplating different things.You're a bit different since your goal to make a difference is broad. Why wait for graduation? Start volunteering or something now! Do what you feel is best for your future, and if that means more study before time off, then do it.
From what I've learned the jobs we think we'll love are not the way we romanticized them. I'm in grad school to research and learn (because I want to be a scientist and teach) where most academics focus their days on managing students, writing, and obtaining funding (with teaching as an aside that gets last priority). Disheartening? Yes. Deal-breaking? No. I'm creating my own niche, but it's not the fantasy I had imagined. But that's the real-world for you - never as it really seems. I would encourage you to do something that you enjoy in the very least - it's pretty much the only thing that keeps you from becoming completely jaded by the real world!
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Canada9720 Posts
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