What has my life come to :/
Fought My Mom
Blogs > Racenilatr |
Racenilatr
United States2756 Posts
What has my life come to :/ | ||
b3h47pte
United States1317 Posts
Don't get a mac but yes it's possible. | ||
KwarK
United States41648 Posts
That said, fight the power! | ||
Fontong
United States6454 Posts
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BanZu
United States3329 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Parental authority for our benefit ftw | ||
RaGe
Belgium9942 Posts
title disappointed | ||
RaGe
Belgium9942 Posts
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nataziel
Australia1455 Posts
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
You bloody your hand in a raging fight and leave the house to... Go to another computer. Your mom is fucking right dude. OH and your dad is right too: Stop being such a pansy. | ||
AtlaS
United States1001 Posts
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FragKrag
United States11539 Posts
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Rayzorblade
United States1172 Posts
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MiniRoman
Canada3953 Posts
On August 03 2009 03:37 fanatacist wrote: Okay it's time for me to give you some guidance in your life. You say you want bitches. You say you want skills. Well let me teach you how. Here are 10 steps to success: 1. Stop waking up early in the morning to play StarCraft You wake up early to gather more pimples on your face from screen over-exposure, to ruin your posture by sitting slumped forward and staring at the computer. You work your little Asian hands fulltime, because between your 150 apm and masturbating with tweezers, you are well on your way to carpal tunnel syndrome. 2. Start working out. Instead of playing SC in the morning, go out and run a mile, if you can make it that far. Do 100 sit-ups and 50 push ups every morning and every evening. If you can't do both in one sitting, you are weak and need to train more. If you can't do 100 sit-ups in a row, you have to do 70 twice. If you can't do that, you have to do 50 three times. Got it, kid? You want this girl, but you're a double-chin Asian in middle/high school. You're not going to get anywhere without a better physique, because teenagers are hormonal judgmental and superficial creatures. 3. Get a job. If you get a job, or any form of income (working for parents/chores, selling drugs, prostitution, etc.), you will have money for the following things: girls, clothes, drugs, alcohol. Those are the only 4 things you need right now, if you want to get a girlfriend/get laid before you are 40. You need money. Get it. Doesn't matter how. 4. Get a new look. I know your mentality, you think that you see a lot of kids in your school walking around in the same jeans everyday, only changing their T-shirt once in a while, and you think that it is acceptable for you to do the same. Wrong. You need to show some self-respect and grooming, otherwise girls are going to treat you like how you look, which is trash. Get yourself some trendy Hollister T-shirts, maybe a few American Eagle dress shirts, put them on top of a nice T, roll up the sleeves, and keep them untucked from your shorts (khaki shorts at Hollister are ~$25-35). When you become trendy, you get attention, if you can pull it off correctly. Then go to the hair salon, tell them to give you a better haircut than a grease-bowl. Something short that you can gel up and style is the best option. 5. Get educated. Download or purchase the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Read it. Take the valuable information about social conduct out of it and apply it to real life. If your personality on TL is any indicator of your mental capabilities, social exposure, and understanding of decency, you need a LOT of help. Read this book, and read some real fucking books, not that 9th grade reading assignment shit. It will make you more mature, and more mature = more chicks. Do it. 6. Get some contacts (not for your vision, idiot). Talk to girls. Talk to more girls. Hang out with girls. Get to know as many girls as possible. The more girls you know, the more options you have, the more experience dealing with girls you have, the more back-ups you have for when you inevitably fuck up on trying to hook up with one. Make sure to touch upon all the different social circles, because otherwise one girl will call her hofriends and let them know how you are a douchebag who tried to rape her at the movies. Get invited to parties, go to them, do something cool, and get invited to more until you are socially accepted. 7. Get a drug dealer. Even if you don't do drugs (which you should, weed is the bomb), others will, and it's a way of socially connecting with others. Most girls who smoke are not those dirty hippies who fit the stoner stereotype - almost every attractive girl at my schools and other schools in the area smoke pot at parties. It doesn't have much long-term or short-term damage and it's worth the money. 8. Get a girlfriend. At this point you should be fitter, more attractive, and more socially acceptable. Time to make a move. Getting a girlfriend in high school is easy as shit. It doesn't even have to be someone that attractive at first - just to make it clear that you can date and will date. Climb up the social ladder with every girl you date, going from 6/10 to 8.5/10 or so. I don't think you'll be able to go higher but 8.5 is decent. No fat or ugly chicks, every time you even look at one without a sneer it lowers your social value. 9. Cheat on girlfriend. This only applies to the lower rating girls, but cheating on them is the best way to show that you are a badass and are willing to do shit. Other girls like this, as long as there is no prospect of you dating them. So, there are 3 types of girls (mini-lesson): Type A is girls you are dating to climb the social ladder, Type B is the girls you want to date (8.5 and up), Type C is the girls you would never date but would cheat on your girlfriend with. Keep abundant numbers of all three in your network until you are dating a Type B. 10. Play StarCraft instead of talking to girlfriend on the phone. If she is not having sex with you or building up to having sex with you, there is no need for her presence outside of school. You already have to hang out with her and go to the movies and shit, there is no need for her to be taking up your time at home with some meaningless high school bullshit. Tell her you are busy during the day working, and use that time to play StarCraft and get better. This doesn't mean neglect her completely - keep up your game in person, but don't let her think you don't have anything to do all the day and you have the time/patience/whippedness to listen to her gossip on the phone. Oh, and posting blogs about SC is pointless, you should just play 2 more games instead of wasting people's time with your stupid blogs. Those 2 games give you more benefit than any blog ever will. Except maybe this one, because I wrote this guide to life in this one. There you have it, now go out and do it. Your iccup blog spewing with advice to make you baller up~ Dont ignore teamliquid | ||
GoSu
Korea (South)1773 Posts
For games, PC is the best. | ||
Frits
11782 Posts
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pinenamu
United States770 Posts
On August 08 2009 02:22 GoSu wrote: MAC is good images/videos and graphic creation. For games, PC is the best. O RLY? like nobody knew lol --; it's summer, moms always do that stuff haha (at least my mom). my mom's like "don't play so many games! your eyes get bad, you don't use your brain, you should be reading! etc etc".. just find something else to do that you really like and passes time quickly. | ||
Irrelevant
United States2364 Posts
On August 08 2009 02:08 {88}iNcontroL wrote: mom tells you that you use the computer too much. You bloody your hand in a raging fight and leave the house to... Go to another computer. Your mom is fucking right dude. OH and your dad is right too: Stop being such a pansy. Agreed, time to grow up sonny | ||
Tehinf
United States192 Posts
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kidd
United States2848 Posts
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AmorVincitOmnia
Kenya3846 Posts
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