EPTHow long has it been since my latest invention improved your lives? 1 week? Suffer no more! Epishade, once again, through his brave and selfless actions, brings the world to a new age. World peace shall be achieved and mankind will rejoice with the release of this new creation. Without further ado, Epishade is proud to present:
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THE DISUNINFECTANT WIPE!!!
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Are you tired of being teased for having a clean and tidy workspace? You wish you could be more of a slob like your friends? No problem! Simply bust out a can of Epishade’s patented Disuninfecant Wipes and wipe away!
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Why just look at some of these before and after pictures demonstrating the Disuninfectant Wipe’s almost unnatural ability to remove unwanted freshness.
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It literally wipes the clean away!
Are your windows so clear that birds keep flying into them? Is your mom complaining about your spotless dishes? Disuninfectant Wipe solves all these problems. Imagine a world, free of problems resulting from cleanliness!
As a test-marketing demonstration, we’ve handed out several cans of disuninfectant wipes to various people around the city. Here’s what they have to say about our product:
“The cheeto-crumbs stuck to it tasted great!”
Wow!
“I wiped these on my neighbor.”
Amazing!
“My wife left me because of Disuninfectant Wipes! I can’t recommend it enough!”
Another person saved.
The ability of Disuninfectant Wipes to improve lives cannot be stressed enough. Don’t linger in your clean another second. Buy Disuninfectant Wipes today!
