On May 12 2013 07:59 SteelSinger wrote:
This is what I think of birthdays, like you I am also 19. I experienced the same thing except it was 2 years ago. Being depressed, questioning and pitying yourself. After going through that unpleasant phase I noticed I wasn't actually grateful for being born. I didn't enjoy living. There was simply nothing I had that seemed so great to live or celebrate for.
To me a birthday is when people celebrate and are grateful you were born, hence they celebrate the day of your birth. I have long stopped caring for my birthdays because the star of the occasion was never grateful. Unfortunately it seems that people turn on autopilot and just give you gifts cause it's your birthday, no other reason, they never really thought about it, they just do it. Or well it's your birthday so.. they're supposed to say Happy Birthday.. cause it's the right thing to do. There is no bonding, only a regularity that should be followed.
It's hard to truly recognize the feelings when people are grateful for you when you aren't grateful yourself, because you really don't have anything to relate to. I got out of this hole by working towards something that will make me grateful for being born, I haven't achieved it yet because it'll probably take a decade, but when I do achieve that goal I will truly start celebrating my birthday for the first time.
This is very important, you should not expect gifts, in fact gifts are just icing on the cake, they are not the cake. What you are looking for is love, love is the cake not gifts. And if what you say is true, you receive absolutely no love that means everyone has forsaken you, and i mean EVERYONE. That means not a single living human being gives a fuck about you, if this is true, then you simply find someone that does give a fuck. Find/work towards something you're grateful for and share it with someone who cares.
I realized that too, I am 19 and I have nothing to show for it, not even a first year of college completed. There are things I set out to achieve and it is going to take time before those goals are completed. You pretty much summed it up perfectly with that line
On May 12 2013 04:51 FuDDx wrote:
FYI sir....
I was posting to try to help not to "judge" you....
The things I posted are things that can help... I am not saying they will help or that you need them....
I prefer to be happy rather than being sad..... the tone you are setting in your responses, seems to me , to be passive aggressive and that you "like" being in this funk. At least that's what I read into it so far (text is never the best way to judge) I could be wrong...I hope I am...
Good luck man and I truly hope you find a way to have some better times especially on your birthday.
I get passive aggressive when I am pissy, sorry for that I know you were just trying to help