I'm someone who doesn't share easily, someone who will never really let you know how I am feeling. Me writing this blog right now is because I am ashamed of myself and what I have been doing for the last few months.
My mother, a woman with the Ehlers Danlos Syndrom (EDS), has been forced to use a wheelchair for over half her life now. A woman that is in physical pain pretty much the entire day. A woman diagnosed with breast cancer last week. Life isn't fair and really can't be if situations like these exist. A single person is not supposed to handle all of this.
I am truly amazed by how she has been dealing with all of this. She assured me that she will put up the best fight she can on her way to survival. There is no doubt in my mind that she will not try. Maybe it is wrong for me to look at it this way, but currently I see a woman fighting her hardest to remain in a wheelchair and in a state of constant pain for the rest of her life. Wow. That is truly admirable...
It disgusts me how many people have taken advantage of her good will and her disability to say no to anything. She wants to do good for everyone, even if it means she has to suffer for it. She always has been someone who wants to make the world a better place and that goes out of her way to do it. I just want to get it out there, she has made the world a better place.
Very active as wheelchair dance instructor for both children and adults with any disability she has brought joy to many. I taught her how to do basic HTML and before I know it she manages multiple websites on a voluntary basis for the organizations she supports. I have no idea where she gets the energy and the spirit, it's truly inspiring.
She has supported me in everything I ever did, and for that I am very grateful. At this moment in time I wish I could be as strong as her. Over the course of the last few months I have been demotivated to do anything, even if it is the thing I used to love doing the most. My school results have dropped, my personal projects have stopped progressing, and I have wasted too many hours doing absolutely nothing. After the events of last week, I am ashamed of myself.
I must do better, and I will do better. This is where this bullshit stops. It will be a rough year for my mother and I want to do my absolute best to support her in any way I can and I hope that we can win together. Beating the odds, like we always do.
Thank you mom, I love you.