Dear Diary:
11/5
The therapy seems to be going well, even though I haven’t truthfully revealed my reasons for going through it. I was court-ordered to take therapy for “anger management” issues they thought I seemed to have. I DON’T HAVE ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES! I simply enjoy my line of work. Well, I don’t think you can technically call murder a line of work. It’s more of a hobby. It’s like hunting, but with humans. I’m thinning out the herd, if you will. Human population is far too excessive, and I just happen to enjoy taking a part in lessening it.
11/6
My therapist had an “accident” today. Seems she fell out of a window. Why do bad things happen to tasty people?
11/7
I really should be more careful. Today, as I was cleaning up the mess of a friend I invited over, I accidentally knocked over my priceless Japanese bonsai tree. Luckily the tree landed on my friend and didn’t damage from the fall. It’s so nice to have friends.
11/8
I should write a cookbook. I mean, I’m coming up with all these new recipes that I’m sure nobody has ever tried. I think publishing it would be a bit odd though. Cannibalism is usually frowned upon in society (for some reason). Once we move past this strange prejudice against cannibalism though, it’s definitely getting published.
11/9
All my recent activity has gained the attention of the police. The disappearance of my friend (who saved my tree yay) has been all over the news. No matter though, they’ve got absolutely no reason to believe I could be the one responsible for the disappearance. I mean, those police can be pretty clueless when it comes to catching us.
11/10
This is my last entry diary. I think the police are about to catch me. I admit that I underestimated them. They found my friend’s body in the middle of the street in front of my house (I knew I should have picked a better spot!). Then they spotted his car parked in my driveway. The bloody footprints and entrails leading up to my front door were probably seen too. How did they get so smart?