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Hey guys :D
SJames here with another exciting blog entry.
For those of you who are still unfamiliar with me, I will give a brief introduction.
My Name is Serjei James, and I live in Melbourne, Australia. I work in the oil industry as a geologist, but my real passion is for gambling, esports and to an extent drug usage. I am a high level starcraft 2 player and a successful poker player. My gambling habits are erratic, and I often have large swings in my gambling winnings, however the emotions, locations, thrill and risk of gambling is my real passion, so money that I win/lose is irrelevant.
Most of my posts on this website have been relating to esports and gambling, however in this blog, I'd like to present a different SJames, a SJames that people might not be so familiar with, and to an extent, the true SJames.
Thats right, Today I will be sharing with you the life lessons I have learned, as well as my philosophy and outlook on my life and the world in general.
What I am going to do here, is nothing more that an emotional rant, so excuse me if something is unclear or you don't understand it, however what you are going to hear is my deepest thoughts and train of thought, its a glimpse into my inner workings. Its the struggle of my life...
Here goes...
"We share an addiction. We are all approval junkies. "
People live for the approval of others. It doesn't matter who we really are as a person, or who approves of us, yet never the less, everyone is striving for the approval of someone else.
This is why we all want the hottest girl, the best car, and the coolest sunglasses, its because we all want the pat on the back from our friend, or the thumbs up and comment about how hot our girlfriend is.
We suffer the crappy job so we can make money, to buy things we don’t need.
We buy things we don’t need, so we can try to gain the approval of others.
We try to gain the approval of others because this feeds our ego.
Yes, your ego. Its the voice in your head. Its the person you want to become, its the philosophy in your head that you wish you could live up to.
The ego, is the self image, Its the man you want to be.
Commercialism exists because of one thing. Your ego. You want to be the best, you want to be that cool person. You want to be the rich man holding the party, you dream of driving that car, having sex with that woman and owning that house. You feel that happiness is only something you can obtain by being the person your ego tells you to be.
My ego is something that , has for many years, controlled my life. I felt that I needed to obey the voice in my head, follow my instincts, be the alpha male, be the tycoon, be the rich man, be the cool man that every girl wants to fuck, be the guy in the porche, be the guy in the nice house,.... be the man I "want" to be.
However there is one small fact you must learn... and thats that the voice inside your head is not you....
Its not even who you want to be. The ego is a tool. Its like an arm or a leg. The ego exists to serve you, however we live in a world where people only live to serve the ego.
My ego has driven me to try and become a person that I am not, and will never be.
However, I have since taken control of myself, because I am not the voice in my head. I am myself, and I'm alright with that.
I have since destroyed my ego because Its only by destroying that man you don't want to be, that you can become the man you really want to be.
"Its only after we've lost everything, that we are free to do anything" - SJames.
  
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When you care about something more than yourself, approval starts seeming insignificant. At least if you view the world similar to the idea of self-actualization
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs
Commercialism is a good way for society to get people to do what it values most. The more it values some task, the more it will pay it out. But if money had no value after some level of income, there would be no more incentive. By creating and advocating higher levels of luxury, and getting most people to buy into the idea of luxury, society keeps people motivated.
For example, in basketball, old stars who've already made their fortune will often sign for a minimum to play for a contender. The potential for salary increases no longer increases their own value enough, so they play for reasons that the system (the collective ownership) cannot influence with more money. If you created some super luxury (buying a sports team, running for president) that players bought into, they might change their mind.
The voice of approval is you, so much as your identity is partially embedded within society. That should not be completely trivialized; many people care about being good citizens.
Even if you disavow society, it is likely you will be drawn into another world (for example this is a video gaming community, and people value being contributors here). It may not have the same values, but in essence it is a replacement society. In the end you can either live alone or figure out which groups of people you care about and how much you care about them.
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Sounds like a bad motivational salesman speech
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"Its only after we've lost everything, that we are free to do anything" - SJames.
Pardon me but your attributing a quote from Fight Club to yourself.
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"I am not the voice in my head". Your voice or your conscience is yourself. You just changed your ways of thinking.
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On January 11 2012 22:53 Synwave wrote:
"Its only after we've lost everything, that we are free to do anything" - SJames.
Pardon me but your attributing a quote from Fight Club to yourself.
lol
edit : you should check up this blog http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=302215
a great deal of what you're going through is well explained in it
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Calgary25951 Posts
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Hey! It's this guy again! Excellent lol. This is getting weird; but in a good, funny way.
On January 11 2012 20:54 sjames wrote:
Most of my posts on this website have been relating to esports and gambling, however in this blog, I'd like to present a different SJames, a SJames that people might not be so familiar with, and to an extent, the true SJames.
Lol wut? You have three other posts on TL, one of which was a long story about a drunken drug fueled gambling trip to Asia. The only thing I learned about the "true" SJames here is that he is a guy who makes rambly incoherent blog posts and quotes Fight Club a lot.
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I wish you would put more thought into this, otherwise you just sound like one of those rambling new age people who don't really know what they're talking about. If you're not your "ego" then what are you? And if that you has a personality then wouldn't it also want to do things, maybe because they're *fun* and emotionally fulfilling? Things like having a girlfriend and a rewarding job that you enjoy? Whats wrong with any of that? Or are you saying the true you doesn't want to do anything? That sounds wonderful -.-
Are you saying that there are effectively two people in the same body who want to do different things, like everyone has a hidden multiple personality disorder, and ego is the evil villain that is quashing the "true" you? All of this, we're supposed to believe based on no evidence or argument?
I have a simpler explanation. Maybe each person has some negative aspects and positive ones. People are driven to do things for reasons that they don't fully understand (subconsciously wanting to "fit in"). All they need to do is understand themselves better, ask whether what they're trying to achieve is truly going to bring them happiness, and then decide how they want to change their life (if at all).
You're basically imitating all of these new-age spiritual teachers telling you that the ego is the false self etc. etc., and that when you no longer live with it your life becomes perfect. Its just another unsubstantiated claim.
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On January 11 2012 22:57 CaM27 wrote:
"I am not the voice in my head". Your voice or your conscience is yourself. You just changed your ways of thinking.
I'll second that!
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One may argue ego and character aren't bad things, its what makes us quote ourselves:
On January 11 2012 20:54 sjames wrote:
"Its only after we've lost everything, that we are free to do anything" - SJames.
"Every creature on this planet has to work to survive, not simply for material wants, but out of necessity to survive and for humanity to become terrans".
-GohGamX
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On January 12 2012 03:50 GohgamX wrote:One may argue ego and character aren't bad things, its what makes us quote ourselves: Show nested quote +On January 11 2012 20:54 sjames wrote:
"Its only after we've lost everything, that we are free to do anything" - SJames.
"Every creature on this planet has to work to survive, not simply for material wants, but out of necessity to survive and for humanity to become terrans". -GohGamX
He didn't quote himself. He plagurized a quote from the Fight Club and attributes it to himself. The fact he does that after a rant about how he believes in destroying his own ego is just pure irony at its best.
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On January 12 2012 04:28 Synwave wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2012 03:50 GohgamX wrote:One may argue ego and character aren't bad things, its what makes us quote ourselves: On January 11 2012 20:54 sjames wrote:
"Its only after we've lost everything, that we are free to do anything" - SJames.
"Every creature on this planet has to work to survive, not simply for material wants, but out of necessity to survive and for humanity to become terrans". -GohGamX He didn't quote himself. He plagurized a quote from the Fight Club and attributes it to himself. The fact he does that after a rant about how he believes in destroying his own ego is just pure irony at its best.
I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you, a world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries, a world where anything is possible. . -TheToast
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On January 12 2012 04:53 TheToast wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2012 04:28 Synwave wrote:On January 12 2012 03:50 GohgamX wrote:One may argue ego and character aren't bad things, its what makes us quote ourselves: On January 11 2012 20:54 sjames wrote:
"Its only after we've lost everything, that we are free to do anything" - SJames.
"Every creature on this planet has to work to survive, not simply for material wants, but out of necessity to survive and for humanity to become terrans". -GohGamX He didn't quote himself. He plagurized a quote from the Fight Club and attributes it to himself. The fact he does that after a rant about how he believes in destroying his own ego is just pure irony at its best. I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you, a world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries, a world where anything is possible. . -TheToast
@Toast 
I can't believe I didn't recognize that. Thanks guys, now whos going to clean up the vomit on the nebuchadnezzar?
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EPT
