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NOTE: This is something I wrote for a current project about my life. I am writing articles and stories about my life in direct association to the people in it. Each post is about one particular person. This is about the last person that I considered my best friend.
So for those that have seen, I have been writing about my various friendships lately. The point is to start documenting my adventures and travels in relationship to those that were with me, but from my point of view. Today I have decided that it is time to talk about one person that meant the world to me for some time. She was not a girlfriend, but a best friend during this time...
I used to hang out at the college a lot, in between classes, or just because a lot of my friends were there. I was sometimes seen as a glue that held groups of people together. One friend once looked around and saw a bunch of smiling people, talking and playing games, and called me the Patron Saint of this group, claiming that it was because of my influence that this existed at all. It was a compliment, but an overzealous one.
On a particular set of days I saw someone walking about the college by herself. I noticed her, as you do, but not in any sexually attracted sort of way, more in a sense of how she moved, walked, ignored the world around her and lived in a happy contemplation. Then this day came a long where, while sitting outside and assisting a friend with homework, quietly talking and smoking or whatever we were doing at the time, I saw her walking towards us. She was still wearing that coat that caused her to not care what was going on, but this time she was obviously coming towards us for some kind of engagement. I was thrilled. I had found myself intrigued by her for a few days, so this was a chance to meet a new friend.
There was some awkwardness at first as she was attempting to figure out how to, well, basically how to make friends. Come to find out she had just recently moved there, was young (17) at the time, and did not really know anyone at all. She came from Oregon and had later told me that she was amazed by the Central Valley because she had never seen a land so flat before.
We got to talking and right away we hit it off. We had a lot of the same tastes in music, in reading, and in movies. We talked philosophy, friends, and the world which we grew up. It was like finding your soul mate. We would clash and argue sometimes, but I like to believe that she looked up to me as an old brother. She would ask me questions, not just about the world, but about personal stuff, stuff that a parent should have taught her but didn't. Needless to say she was extremely smart for her age, but lacked some of the normal social common sense and niceties.
Later that first day, I saw her walking around town. I stopped to talk, gave her a ride to where she was living. That was a strange situation on it's own. She was staying with this person all the way across town, the other side of the tracks you might say, payed a shit ton for rent, the woman made her sleep on the couch, and refused to give her a key.
Over the next week is when we really bonded. We argued about the nobility in the action of Socrates, what a songwriter meant when choosing certain words, and which poets are better than others. It was fun, informative, stimulating, and most of, it was all done without a sense of pretentiousness or fuss. It was just good conversation. We stayed up together every day after classes talking. After only a week of knowing her, I went to give her a ride to the place she was staying. When we got there, it was cold and late. I would not leave until I knew she was inside and that night, it was not going to happen.
She banged and banged on the door, kept telling me to leave, she would just stay outside and wait for someone to come home. After awhile I just refused and told her to get in the truck. It was 2 in the morning, cold, and I was not going to let her freeze out there. I told her she is coming to stay at my house tonight, no arguing. She slept on the couch and the next morning we went back to school.
This became the norm. Giving rides and just plain being friends. She introduced me to the music of Bright Eyes, I showed her The Mountain Goats, and we would spend so many nights just talking and listening to music. We taught each other a lot of things.
Then she started falling for this guy from back home. She was going to go back up to see him soon and started asking me those questions about sex. Like I said before, she never seemed to have much in the way of common sense guidance, but a lot of good stories about her father otherwise. I remember this night because of a hilarious tangent our conversation went on when she became confused about a certain term for the woman's anatomy and my descriptions. She thought I was talking about one thing when I was talking about another and it caused some rather weird fears in her for awhile until we finally got on the same page. We laughed about that night and some hilarious imagery associated with it for many nights to come.
Soon, she was kicked out of the housing situation she was in. This caused her to become a squatter. She stayed on my couch most nights, but was always gracious and always kind. She was not a bum or a mooch by any means, but she always needed someone for a place to crash. She was in college with no place to live. All of this caused some tension between us because it got to feeling that maybe she was only my friend for a couch, maybe she only wanted to hang with me because she needed to sleep some place safe. I got frustrated with it, got somewhat cold towards her...
I feel awful for ever thinking that. It was not her nature and I was wrong to question her motives. Luckily, not long after she took that trip back home and to this guy she liked. When she got back a couple weeks later...she brought him with her. That was a bad decision, nay, a horrible decision, but they got a place to live together. That took all of the strain that I had felt and removed it. She later said that our friendship was much better and stronger after that. It meant a lot to me. She did not blame or judge me for my feelings, she understood them completely, but I still believe they were unjustified.
Well, as time traveled, she made friends with our whole group, she made new friends and brought them into the fold, and we were always there, like a brother and sister, close as could be in that way.
Then a huge moment happened. I decided to move away. I decided that it was time, with various other things falling apart around me, to move and start a new life. I wanted so badly for her or other friends to come with me, but that was never to happen. At my going-away party we had bands and musicians play. When it was the end of my set, I sung and played her favorite song for her...she was in the crowd, singing and crying...I was crying too after seeing her and trying to finish my song. I knew what I was leaving and most of all, I was leaving my best friend in a scary world where she needed someone there...I couldn't look at her for the rest of the set. It tore my heart out and still, when I recall it today, I wish I could turn away from that image in my mind.
After I moved, we still talked over the internet and phone, but not as often. She grew tired and wary of some of the friends and normalcies of life. After a few months, she was done with that boyfriend she brought back down. He needed someplace to go. Somehow, in a weird turn of events (another story all together), he came and stayed with us. We gave him a chance, payed for him to get his GED which he failed. We got him 3 jobs, all of which he quit or got fired from in a short amount of time. This guy was a complete train wreck. The reason I talk about this is because it leads to the last part of our tale...
A couple of months after he moved up here, she came for a visit. She had a new boyfriend she wanted to tell me about, moved on in her life, and all the things that had been happening since I left. It was good, but weird because of the tension of her ex that was living with us. It all culminated in us throwing a Halloween party, alcohol, and a sexual encounter between her and her ex that should have never happened.
The next morning everything seemed good. She was leaving to go back to home. We dropped her off, she hugged and kissed me, and that was the last time I saw her. A couple of days later she called me to ask me to tell her ex to leave her alone and not talk to her again, which I agreed to do for her. That was fine, but that was the last I ever talked to this person that means to much to me. She never called again.
I reached out to her a few weeks later. She was not home but her roommate answered the phone. The conversation went like this:
Me: Hey is [girl] there?
RM: Uh, no, she is working.
Me: Oh, okay, can you have her call me later please?
RM: Uh, well, I will tell her, but she does not want to talk you.
Now, this was the first I had heard anything about this at all.
Me: What? What is going on?
RM: Well, she just told me she did not want to talk to you, but I will tell her you called and that you want to hear from her.
That was it. She did not want to talk to me. Still, years later, I don't know the exact reason for the break in contact. All I know is that I lost the best friend that I ever had. Just writing this gets me weeping because to me, she was my soul mate, or at least the closest thing I have ever known to such a title. Since that time, there have been major events in my life and when I looked over to find that friend to talk to, to alleviate my fears and work out my thoughts, she wasn't there. That was the first time I realized my isolation from the world that I knew.
Since that day I have found her on social networking sites, attempted contact a few times, but I have not heard a word in response, not even a "fuck off". That I could handle, but this silence has been about the hardest thing in my life to deal with. That fear, that unknown, it is a killer. I have recently found her once more, but I do not have the guts to reach out again. I have this extreme sense of fear that if I did, I would get the same silence and it would tear open this unhealing wound that I have learned to live with. I tell myself that if she wanted to talk to me, she could find me. I am not a hard man to find at all.
I heard some stuff through the grapevine about her, some stories, some whispers of her life. I listen intently, hoping for some clue as to what happened, but rarely do I get any good leads to work off of. One time recently I was back home, went out to a bar that a lot of my old group frequent. I saw a girl that might have been her there. My heart sped and I just could not contain myself very well. I kept looking over because I was not sure if it was her. It has been years and she was still growing and changing. After catching her eye a few times, I convinced myself that it was not her. There was no reaction at all. Mix that with the fact that I was not sold it was her in the first place, I finally settled down some.
That brings us to today where I write about pining for a friendship that I feel was stolen from me. I have a theory that she cut ties to everyone associated with her ex and me due to the influence of her boyfriend at the time. I have no real evidence of this, just suspicions from knowing him some and knowing things she said to me about him. I am saddened by this though because I thought she was smart enough to not let a guy control her life, unless, well, unless she wanted to. Maybe she did not need me anymore. This is the most heart-breaking theory because I would have thought that she loved me enough to tell me to fuck off at least. Years of friendship down the drain just like that.
I wish that I had more insight to add to this. I wish that I had some lesson to take, but if there is anything, it is this:
I feel that I will always be her friend. I will not let her decision to cut ties so dis respectively destroy my love for my best friend. I have told myself that if she ever comes calling again that I would treat her as I always had and be that brother to her that I liked to feel that I was. I would not treat her with scorn and possibly push her away again. This pain that I have is just a signal telling me that that I care, that she is a friend, reminding me that even though friends do some fucked up things sometimes, a true friend will always be there for you and accept you with open arms if that is what you need.
Take it or leave it. I just needed to write it down. Thanks for reading.
 
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No problem man, I like reading big stuff like this. It's hard to come across someone who can put something like this into words that describe it well enough.
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Good read.. I feel like you should contact her again and ask for closure, she owes you that at least.
Take care.
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thank you for sharing your story! very well written and i couldn't even leave for my party tonight without finishing the blog 
the bit about Silence hit home. best to ya
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When someone has a big effect on your development as a person, it's only natural for them to become
something for you to think about.
I've been on the computer for far too long today... so I'll just say this.
- You're not the only one to have a bad break off with a girl you liked but never got to be bf gf with
- She's made it her choice to not talk to you. You need to respect that decision and move on.
Very good read, I look forward to the rest.
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I really enjoyed reading this and I most certainly can relate. One of my closest friends cut contact with me for no reason at all and to this day it kills me. I too have tried reaching out to her but no response. Silence certainly is difficult to deal with.
On September 03 2011 13:02 guN-viCe wrote:
Good read.. I feel like you should contact her again and ask for closure, she owes you that at least.
Take care.
This. The least she could do is give you some kind of closure, even if it isn't a full-blown conversation-just something that will help you to feel better about the situation and ultimately be able to move forward. I would definitely try to contact her again in the future. And if she continues to ignore you, then leave it be. Just hold close the good memories about her and try and forget about the negative.
I wish you the best of luck!
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Hey thanks guys for reading and for the encouragement. I know, I wish that I could have at least gotten told to fuck off, but nothing. This is part of the reason that I feel that there were other influences and she could not bring herself to tell me to go to hell or whatever. I have a feeling that someday she will write to me and I will probably weep like a baby on that day. Haha. I just think maybe she could not have brought closure to it because she could not buy into it...
I am sorry Hidden_MotiveS, this was not about my wanting to be her boyfriend at all. She was to me the little sister that I never had, nothing more. Did I not clarify that well enough or do you think that I am denying it? Trust me, there were opportunities for us to date if that was what we wanted, but it never was, nor do I wish that it ever was. I would not have risked losing that relationship for anything...
The hardest part about the silence is that I am constantly questioning if I did something wrong to push her away. I may have made mistakes by letting her come visit in a volatile situation at all...I should have looked out for her better in that regard...
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skimmed this mostly but dude you must have been blind to let her slip away... You sound really fond of her yet you never made a move? While she was with other guys and stuff you drifted apart.
If you really felt such a connection, perhaps found your soul mate I feel you would have been more aggressive and not let this split happen. I know you had to move and stuff but what do you expect after that, its hard to maintain a relationship with distance 
Good luck man I hope you guys talk at least once more
edit: just saw your post above, you seem to be confused. You never had intentions to date or anything yet you refer to her as a soul mate.
shrug....
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On September 03 2011 15:37 CurLy[] wrote:skimmed this mostly but dude you must have been blind to let her slip away... You sound really fond of her yet you never made a move? While she was with other guys and stuff you drifted apart. If you really felt such a connection, perhaps found your soul mate I feel you would have been more aggressive and not let this split happen. I know you had to move and stuff but what do you expect after that, its hard to maintain a relationship with distance Good luck man I hope you guys talk at least once more edit: just saw your post above, you seem to be confused. You never had intentions to date or anything yet you refer to her as a soul mate. shrug....
You have a solid point about some things here, but pertaining to the definition of soul mate, I disagree. I really don't believe in that term, but it was the most apt. I had this feeling that we would be best friends, we would be like family and I never thought she would just disconnect. I wouldn't and haven't with my good friends that are all scattered around the world now.
So the issue with moving was for a variety of things, bu the two most prevalent factors were my girlfriend, now my wife, had moved and I wanted to be with her. Also, I was getting tired and frustrated with a lot of things in my home town including job availability. I could move to where my girlfriend was and have a guaranteed job with nice benefits. I never had that before. These factor with a few others led to my decision to leave my home. It was time. I was a big fish in a small pond. I needed to venture out to the world and see what I can accomplish on my own.
Trust me, if, at the time, it seemed like I could have stayed with everyone and everything, I would have, but sometimes life's big decisions are in front of you and only one options seems to make sense. I am not regretting my decisions on that front, but trust me, my wife and I are constantly looking for other reasonable options for the future of our family.
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Oh wow, you're married. My reading was completely wrong *crumples up theory and throws it across a football field*
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Very Nice read. A great idea IMO is to send this blog to her and show how much you valued your friendship. Please continuously update us .
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On September 03 2011 23:27 CBNMystery wrote:Very Nice read. A great idea IMO is to send this blog to her and show how much you valued your friendship. Please continuously update us .
Yeah...I have this feeling that I will break down and finally attempt contact one more time, I just am not looking forward to what I fear to happen. This project of mine if being posted on my personal blog, which gets a decent amount of readers and all my friends look at, so I am hoping that she will see it or someone will realize it is about her and pass it along.
At this point, I might just be chicken-shit, but oh well. Thanks for reading guys!
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On September 03 2011 23:27 CBNMystery wrote:Very Nice read. A great idea IMO is to send this blog to her and show how much you valued your friendship. Please continuously update us .
I apologize for the old blog bump, please forgive me, but there has been some advancement on this...ever so slightly, a tiny update to speak of. Well, things are interesting in my life currently...and I have made the decision to move back home to California from Nevada due to other forces in my life and having the chance to do so with my work, which can be read about in some of my more recent blogs.
Now, I have been in contact with a very dear friend quite a bit since everything going on the past month. Today the topic came up of my old friend that I wrote about in this blog. She told me that she sees the girl around town often and she seems really good...that she was acting weird and creepy for a while...but she is better now. I am not sure exactly what that means...but I will find out more details when I can.
Then I started to think about trying to contact her after I move back home...I know that if I am in the area we will eventually run into one another, it is not a huge city and most of my old friends still haunt the same places overall.
This thought has made me nervous...I am trying to figure out what I will do and feel if we run into one another around town and she snubs me yet again...I am just not sure how to react. There is this great feeling of vulnerability...because more than anything I want my best friend back, but after all this time without contact, we may not have much in common anymore at all...I know I am a different person than I was when I was younger...I am sure that she is as well...
Well, we will just have to wait and see like anything else. Due to that conversation earlier though, I just had a lot of thoughts and emotions running through my mind yet again, thought I would give a bit of an update.
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Man, your blog made me cry. I'm really happy amazombie bumped it
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On December 29 2012 04:30 TheAmazombie wrote:Show nested quote +On September 03 2011 23:27 CBNMystery wrote:Very Nice read. A great idea IMO is to send this blog to her and show how much you valued your friendship. Please continuously update us . I apologize for the old blog bump, please forgive me, but there has been some advancement on this...ever so slightly, a tiny update to speak of. Well, things are interesting in my life currently...and I have made the decision to move back home to California from Nevada due to other forces in my life and having the chance to do so with my work, which can be read about in some of my more recent blogs. Now, I have been in contact with a very dear friend quite a bit since everything going on the past month. Today the topic came up of my old friend that I wrote about in this blog. She told me that she sees the girl around town often and she seems really good...that she was acting weird and creepy for a while...but she is better now. I am not sure exactly what that means...but I will find out more details when I can. Then I started to think about trying to contact her after I move back home...I know that if I am in the area we will eventually run into one another, it is not a huge city and most of my old friends still haunt the same places overall. This thought has made me nervous...I am trying to figure out what I will do and feel if we run into one another around town and she snubs me yet again...I am just not sure how to react. There is this great feeling of vulnerability...because more than anything I want my best friend back, but after all this time without contact, we may not have much in common anymore at all...I know I am a different person than I was when I was younger...I am sure that she is as well... Well, we will just have to wait and see like anything else. Due to that conversation earlier though, I just had a lot of thoughts and emotions running through my mind yet again, thought I would give a bit of an update.
I kind went through a similar situation this year. September 2011, after not having heard anything of her for almost three years, my best friend suddenly answered on MSN Messenger (I still said "hi" from time to time, just to let her know I was still there). To be honest, my heart skipped a beat, and I asked her if she was up for having a drink at a bar. She said sure, and half an hour later we saw each other again for the first time in ages.
It was pretty awkward in the beginning. It was really obvious that we both had changed a lot, but it was also pretty obvious that we still cared a great deal for each other. 2011 was also the year that I decided to quit my job and go back to college to get a degree, and coincidently I was going to study the same thing she did, albeit in my first year while she was in her last. Throughout the first semester at school we were slowly reconnecting again, but things really started to go quickly in January 2012. Her home situation wasn't exactly ideal, and at a certain moment I had enough of it and told her "you're going to study here at my place. I come pick you up in half an hour, get your stuff ready. Don't bother trying to refuse, it's not going to work". She ended up living at my place for the better part of a month, and we really started bonding again. The spark we had before we lost contact was back and it felt great. From February to May she had to do an internship in Paris but we kept in touch via skype and actually consolidated our bond even more over these months.
My point? If you see her again, go to her and talk to her. If the friendship you shared was genuine, there is little reason why she would turn you down again. While I visited my friend in Paris, she told me the real reason why she had ignored me for so long, and I understood and forgave her.
EDIT: I would also like to add that throughout the three years we had zero communication, I always felt like something was missing from my life. I was trying to kid myself that I didn't care about her anymore, but that didn't work. I knew I still cared and I was really worried.
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On December 30 2012 01:06 maartendq wrote:Show nested quote +On December 29 2012 04:30 TheAmazombie wrote:On September 03 2011 23:27 CBNMystery wrote:Very Nice read. A great idea IMO is to send this blog to her and show how much you valued your friendship. Please continuously update us . I apologize for the old blog bump, please forgive me, but there has been some advancement on this...ever so slightly, a tiny update to speak of. Well, things are interesting in my life currently...and I have made the decision to move back home to California from Nevada due to other forces in my life and having the chance to do so with my work, which can be read about in some of my more recent blogs. Now, I have been in contact with a very dear friend quite a bit since everything going on the past month. Today the topic came up of my old friend that I wrote about in this blog. She told me that she sees the girl around town often and she seems really good...that she was acting weird and creepy for a while...but she is better now. I am not sure exactly what that means...but I will find out more details when I can. Then I started to think about trying to contact her after I move back home...I know that if I am in the area we will eventually run into one another, it is not a huge city and most of my old friends still haunt the same places overall. This thought has made me nervous...I am trying to figure out what I will do and feel if we run into one another around town and she snubs me yet again...I am just not sure how to react. There is this great feeling of vulnerability...because more than anything I want my best friend back, but after all this time without contact, we may not have much in common anymore at all...I know I am a different person than I was when I was younger...I am sure that she is as well... Well, we will just have to wait and see like anything else. Due to that conversation earlier though, I just had a lot of thoughts and emotions running through my mind yet again, thought I would give a bit of an update. I kind went through a similar situation this year. September 2011, after not having heard anything of her for almost three years, my best friend suddenly answered on MSN Messenger (I still said "hi" from time to time, just to let her know I was still there). To be honest, my heart skipped a beat, and I asked her if she was up for having a drink at a bar. She said sure, and half an hour later we saw each other again for the first time in ages. It was pretty awkward in the beginning. It was really obvious that we both had changed a lot, but it was also pretty obvious that we still cared a great deal for each other. 2011 was also the year that I decided to quit my job and go back to college to get a degree, and coincidently I was going to study the same thing she did, albeit in my first year while she was in her last. Throughout the first semester at school we were slowly reconnecting again, but things really started to go quickly in January 2012. Her home situation wasn't exactly ideal, and at a certain moment I had enough of it and told her "you're going to study here at my place. I come pick you up in half an hour, get your stuff ready. Don't bother trying to refuse, it's not going to work". She ended up living at my place for the better part of a month, and we really started bonding again. The spark we had before we lost contact was back and it felt great. From February to May she had to do an internship in Paris but we kept in touch via skype and actually consolidated our bond even more over these months. My point? If you see her again, go to her and talk to her. If the friendship you shared was genuine, there is little reason why she would turn you down again. While I visited my friend in Paris, she told me the real reason why she had ignored me for so long, and I understood and forgave her. EDIT: I would also like to add that throughout the three years we had zero communication, I always felt like something was missing from my life. I was trying to kid myself that I didn't care about her anymore, but that didn't work. I knew I still cared and I was really worried.
Yeah, this is what I am planning to do when the time comes to me. I will reach out once more in person...I have tried over networks and those attempts seem to have fallen on deaf ears. For us, it has been almost 6 years now...I just hope that once I am back around we can rekindle our friendship. It just sucks to consider the alternative.
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That was really sad man, I really hope she finally speaks to you. Never give up. Health, Wealth and Peace.
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On December 30 2012 02:16 ElizarTringov wrote:
That was really sad man, I really hope she finally speaks to you. Never give up. Health, Wealth and Peace.
Hey, thanks for the kind words friend. I have faith that we will soon find one another again, but either way I am just trying to be thankful for the times we had when we were close.
Also...I haven't written more in this project in a while...every time I try to I get blocked, especially since there is a lot going on lately in my life. I am hoping to have more installments to this project soon. Here are the ones that I have currently:
(I recommend these first two on the list, very well received.)
Strange Paths to Get to Where We Are Today
First Crush and Much More...
My Big Dog (Vol. 1)
It Takes A Lot of Pain To Make You Grow
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Why am I bumping this ancient blog post?? I was asked to keep updating and for the first time in years, I have an update to this story - a huge one in fact.
On May 17th, 2016, I got a Facebook friend request from my dear subject of this story. I was working, and my heart started jumping when I saw that. For 8.5 years I have longed for my friend, to hear from her, and finally she was reaching out to me. I immediately accepted it messaged her with a "Good to see you my friend. I hope you are well."
She replied with an "It's good to see you as well. Sorry it took so long." That line almost had me weeping while working at a jobsite. It was a perfect, minimalistic response, and exactly what I expected her to say. Sometimes things just stay the same. I replied by immediately saying that it was okay, and that I was sorry too for everything and dumb kids do dumb things and how I felt like I may not have been a good friend to her and how it has been killing me since.
Then I didn't hear anything the rest of the day.
Oh shit - did I say too much?? Was she overwhelmed?? Fuck me. I might have fucked this all up, but I had to get it off my chest and as soon as I had a chance, I had to say what I needed to say.
Later that evening I tried to message again - I spent all day worrying my head off. This time I just messaged with a simple question asking where she was living now. She just responded a bit later by telling me she lived in Portland now and asking where I was, then just saying "I bet you are an amazing dad" which was out of blue and broke my heart. See, when my ex wife and I were having our child, I went through a lot of strange and hard emotions. When he came, I went through another rough patch of trying to keep a grip on reality. During those times I needed my family and friends the most and didn't have them. I was both proud and happy to have that validation from someone who's opinions meant the world to me, but also resentful - which I had to tell myself to let go of.
I told her that I try, and that I loved that she thought that. I want her to know my child - she has never met him as she has been gone for 8.5 years and my son is just over 7.
She then said "I want you to know that you don't have anything to apologize for. I wasn't comfortable with myself yet. You were hugely influential on me. I am absolutely a better person because of you."
I told her how much that meant to me and we chatted some about her having a conversation with a friend recently and using a metaphor from a show that I helped show her and get her into. How my views on the emotions expressed still meant something to her.
She then said that she needed to go and work on school work but asked if she could call me sometime soon, to which I said of course. We said goodnights, but then I had to get back on and message her one more time and tell her basically what I summed up this original blog with - the idea that we are family and family always loves one another even if they do shitty things to each other sometimes, that we would always be there, and that it makes me happy to hear from her.
She replied by saying "You are my family. Thank you for being so gracious. I miss you."
A couple weeks later we finally talked on the phone for like 30 minutes and she asked if she could come see me as she was traveling back to our area soon. I said of course.
Last night I had dinner with my best friend again for the first time in 8.5 years and it was like there was no time lost. She was so much the same - more adult, a bit thinner and taller, but the same. We hung out, ate chinese food, drank beers, and chatted about what we had been up to and where we were headed - and it was amazing.
In the end she mentioned how much it meant to her that I still accepted her and invited her to my home. I told her about this blog and how that was my resolution many years ago. I told her I would send her the link and let her read it - so she could be reading this now. =) Thank you my friends for following this and for the occasional updates. I think this blog is now officially put to rest.
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