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The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go
to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
This student received the only "A"
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hahahaha
some great stuff comes out a college.
edit: doesn't matter if its real T_T
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
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I wanna know if its real gogo snopes 
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you guys are easily impressed.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
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4492 Posts
I guess coz it was funny.
Like Rek's siggy.
-Mynock
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
On February 07 2006 00:46 a-game wrote:
you guys are easily impressed.
what do you mean? it was very well done =)
(though a bit old)
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eh it's technically sound but i really don't see anything even remotely exceptional about it
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
why don't you show us something remotely exceptional
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Valhalla18444 Posts
asking for exceptional on this forum is like asking for a big mac at wendy's
you just get a lot of blank stares
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Norway10161 Posts
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Norway10161 Posts
But steve, i asked for you and got you?
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On February 07 2006 01:15 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
asking for exceptional on this forum is like asking for a big mac at wendy's
you just get a lot of blank stares
insert lame chuck norris joke
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Valhalla18444 Posts
buddy, i am all this place has got going for it
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That's just a rewrite of an original that is years old. The original one didn't have the student sleeping with the girl despite his best efforts and he said that it proved Hell hadn't frozen over, thus Hell was exothermic.
All this shit about the other corollary and proof the existence of God was not in the original, and I think makes this one much less funny. It tries to shove about 4 punchlines into one space, but really only one good one is needed.
Here's One Link To The Original As I Remember It.
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On February 07 2006 01:20 nova_442 wrote:That's just a rewrite of an original that is years old. The original one didn't have the student sleeping with the girl despite his best efforts and he said that it proved Hell hadn't frozen over, thus Hell was exothermic. All this shit about the other corollary and proof the existence of God was not in the original, and I think makes this one much less funny. It tries to shove about 4 punchlines into one space, but really only one good one is needed. Here's One Link To The Original As I Remember It.
I agree that the "Oh my God" part was vulgar. The link you posted is much more believable to be a student essay.
And I'd remove the "I slept with her last night" part from this version, just "she told me it would be a cold day ...so N2 must be true".
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yea the original is much better written. this one seems like its trying to be funny, the other one just is.
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this is really, really old
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EPT
