Leaving StarCraft (IdrA) - Page 42

I initially got into SC:BW in Iraq around February 2010. I had previously been a Warcraft 2 player and never got into BW. Anyway, my roommate had a copy of BW and let me install it, and soon enough I was addicted. I played that game so much that it became my escape from the shitty reality over there. I still remember pausing games and running out of my CHU to the bunkers because we were getting rocketed. Once I was assigned to the MEOC at FOB Echo to a joint operation between the 8th Iraqi Army and US. I played so much BW while guarding that satellite equipment (basically sitting right next to it making sure it didn't disappear) that the Iraqi General came up to me and (through his terp) told me it was his son's 5th birthday, and since I played "that game" so much it must be awesome and he would like me to make a copy for his son. I politely explained that BW wasn't suitable for a 5 year old, but my Sgt had an NES emulator with all the games and gave the kid that. At least he could have some kind of "childhood" as we say... Anyway, I was stoked that SC2 happened to be coming out in (August?) of 2010, and when it launched I bought it and played the shit out of it until I returned on 1 Oct, 2010.

All my good friends were stop-lossed in Iraq, meaning their initial active duty contracts were extended to force them to go to Iraq for another year. One month after I got back nearly my entire crew got out of the Army or were sent to other units, scattered to the four winds (the Army tried to get them out ASAP as they had already done their time +). I was on my own in the old barracks with tons of new guys, many of whom had never deployed before (I had deployed twice at that point) and they annoyed the shit out of me. Our barracks had no heating for some reason, and it was so cold that I bought a giant down comforter to keep myself warm. In fact, the thermostat in the room where we're supposed to be able to adjust the temperature had a giant spiderweb crack in it emanating out from a small point, where somebody had probably raged out and stabbed it. My new leadership had no idea how to handle our strange assignment (personal security detail for the Brigade Commander of ~4,000 soldiers) and put tons of pressure on me to show them what to do and make sure everything was perfect. My life was fucking terrible. Literally the night I got back to the states (1 Oct 2010) my friends picked me up and we went to buy some liquor. Jim Beam had some bullshit "Welcome Home" label on their shit so I bought it to support them supporting us and found that I liked it, probably too much. By the time I had been back for two months I would buy a handle on Monday which would be gone by Thursday. Friday, Saturday, and two out of three Sundays each got their own 1/5th a night followed by Hamburger Helper made on my hot plate (awww yeahhhh!) and a quart of water then bed. I would normally start drinking at around 6pm and finish at 2am, then wake up at 6am to do physical training.

It makes me sad to say this but during those shitty days SC2 was my only friend. I still remember the old MLG red and blue streams and all your SOTG shows, as well as ITG, Destiny starting up, and Idra in his prime. When MLGs were on I would wake up and buy a 30 rack of Icehouse and sync my maximum drunkenness to Idra's games, cheering for him like a drunk Spaniard at a soccer match. When he would get knocked out of a tournament I would be devastated. I still remember when MC came out and gave Idra the thumbs down then 4-0'd him. It may be irrational (as I'm no longer an Idra fan) but I've hated MC ever since. -- This was after you lost your passion

I was following the scene really hard by about March 2011 and watched Destiny/Idra/everything constantly. SOTG and ITG (which I think had just started) were the highlights of my week! I would make sure to have four beers in me before the show started and I would get progressively more wasted as it went along, cheering when you all made good points and feeling glad I wasn't the only one who was upset over this or that.

On my first deployment I arrested an Iraqi who had been a Colonel under Saddam and was still loyal to him. This Colonel had been the head of a major IED cell in Tikrit (Saddam's hometown). After the mission everyone said good job blah blah (he was a high value target) and life went on as normal. One week later the word came back that the Iraqi's had hung him. Even though it wasn't traumatic, the weight hit me like a ton of bricks.

One time I had a dream that I was standing in front of a giant 2D map of the earth that took up a whole wall. In the top center the year "1988" appeared (the year I was born) and in New York (where I grew up) there was a bright yellow dot that started to move around and left a yellow trail behind it wherever it went. At the same time there was a blue dot in Iraq doing the same thing. The years rotated further ahead as the lines squiggled. Squiggle squiggle the lines went around, me squiggling in NY for 18 years then ZOOM down to Georgia then ZOOM over to Washington State then ZOOM over to Iraq where the blue dot has been squiggling in the same little area for years. Then it zoomed in and my yellow dot and the blue dot were separated only by gridsquares (representing 1 click, 1000 meters, .6 miles) and the yellow dot went over to the blue dot, the two dots squiggled, and then the blue dot went a few grid squares away and slowly faded from baby-blue, the same color as it's trail, to a dark, burnt out navy blue. The dot stopped moving. When I woke up, in my mind I naturally completed the dream with the yellow dot flying back to the states and resuming it's squiggling.

My life is in order now (sober, hitting the gym, lots of new friends and in college with a 3.8 and plenty of money) and when I think back on those shitty times (mainly January 2011 - August 2011) when you guys were my only "friends", I realize how much I owe you. The entertainment that you guys provided really became my life. I would walk around for two weeks before an MLG or Dreamhack or whatever, so excited! I would draw out brackets and try to predict who would win. SC2 was just the only light in my life at that point. When you explained how you would wake up and feel the stress of having to organize the show, and think "fuckkk there's so much to do" and Day9 leaned toward you and agreed, it really hit me that you guys were carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders. I can picture you rolling over, getting out of bed, and proceeding to arrange the show with it's content and guests and hardware setup, and I feel deeply grateful that you saw it through and went on with the production. Remember that 11,000 people watched tonight's show. I promise you that at least one of them was sitting there in their room with their parents fighting in the kitchen, trying to block it out; or trying to forget about how their dog or cat has cancer and their parents don't have the $1600 to save it; about the conversation they just had with their parents where they were told "We just don't have the money to get you anything for your birthday" or just had with their girlfriend and "It's just not working out." Sometimes people need a couple hours away from it all, and that's what all of you give us day in and day out.

What I've learned throughout this whole thing is that entertainment is one of the most noble enterprises someone can go into. If you think about it, beer, Pepsi, football, music, movies, gaming, all of it falls under entertainment, and it all serves one primary purpose: To take our minds off our worries. For providing me with endless opportunities to do just that, I thank you and everyone else.

Thanks, and may your dots squiggle for the next eighty years!