Terran are the most volatile romp n' stomp habanero chili boomshakalaka slam dunk descendants from Spartan warriors while drinking blood of roman gladiators bad ass race out there. If you don't play Terran you can never call yourself a real man.
Marines - These bad asses will fight anything. Land, sea, air, bring it the fuck on because if they are in range marines will shoot at it. Not to mention the fact that they are such hard bastards they still use shields in an era where intergalactic space travel is possible.
Marauders - Some marine was sitting around one day chomping down on an MRE when his buddy was like, "Hey Magnus (damn straight he has a manly name like Magnus) I think we need a better way to kill things", so Magnus was like "I agree, strap on some rocket fucking launchers to my arms and I'll start blowing shit up". And he did, and it was good.
Did I mention the fact that marines and marauders are willing to inject themselves with who knows what in order to shoot things faster, at the cost of their own health ! Real men willing to sacrifice
Reapers - These crazy bastards are willing to have giant jets strapped on to their backs so they can jump up and down cliffs. Massive exhaust flames centimeters away from their asses, all while going to fight with nothing more than two hand held pistols and some grenades. JET PACK ON THEIR BACK, WHILE CARRYING GRENADES. When asked about logic reapers were quoted as saying “logic is for casuals”.
Ghosts – If smoking is cool, ghosts go through 4 packs while laying down some love on the Marlboro man’s wife, and mom, at the same time. Remember when EMPs were only available on massive floating science research facilities ? Ghosts were all like “fuck that shit, I’ll carry them”. Nuclear Launch Detected: Nothing is manlier than radioactive devastation.
Hellions – One day a couple of Terrans were driving around the desert in dune buggies, and they decided it would be an awesome idea to attach massive flamethrowers to them so they could burn shit to the ground while hitting some massive jumps. Oh are you trying to mine some minerals? *FWOOOOOM* not anymore.
Medivacs – SUCK ON MY GREEN LASER BITCHES WHILE I FLY AROUND CARRYING SOME TANKS DICKFACE !
Siege Tank – Siege tanks are as manly as it gets. Brace for fucking impact while they blast away at your measly army; and you might think they brace for impact because of the shells they fire off. Little did you know the real reason is to counteract the sheer orgasmic force released when the tank drivers fire off onto the approaching force. Their hardness of their balls is comparable to the surface of a neutron star. Oh yeah…..
Thor – Were you seriously going to question the manliness of a Thor? What is your major malfunction?
Battlecruisers - Your dad can beat up my dad ? Well Battlecruisers can beat up all dads, everywhere, at the same damn time. They don't need to move fast because they are so damn important people will wait. Sure fire away at me while I charge up my Yamato cannon and BLOW YOU TO SMITHEREENS.
On April 11 2010 17:29 Mentat wrote: JET PACK ON THEIR BACK, WHILE CARRYING GRENADES. When asked about logic reapers were quoted as saying “logic is for casuals”.
Massive exhaust flames centimeters away from their asses, all while going to fight with nothing more than two hand held pistols and some grenades. JET PACK ON THEIR BACK, WHILE CARRYING GRENADES. When asked about logic reapers were quoted as saying “logic is for casuals”.
rofl. after read this, reapers are the most crazy badass' in my eye.
Hey man, Raynor here. You forgot about 'em SCVs, alright? Them boys sitting all day digging minerals all that while in full plate suits, and engines burning fire from their backs.
EDIT: Although he forgot how manly Vikings are, headbanging while firing when in ground mode and raiding and pillaging when in air mode. Hell, even women driving banshees somehow manage to be manly.
It's real nice to read this thread as opposed to the 9001 other "Serious Discussions" and complain threads.
Since medivacs are fancy stuck up girl pilots they would never bring themselves down using redneck, hooligan language... Except for that fail, rest is amusing.
On April 11 2010 17:29 Mentat wrote: Terran are the most volatile romp n' stomp habanero chili boomshakalaka slam dunk descendants from Spartan warriors while drinking blood of roman gladiators bad ass race out there. If you don't play Terran you can never call yourself a real man.
Zerg are the most volatile romp n' stomp habanero chili boomshakalaka mutated evolutions from herbivorous mammals while exploding through space race out there. If you don't play Zerg you can never call yourself a real Cerebrate.
On April 11 2010 19:58 Cain0 wrote: Can I call myself a real man if I only play Terran but I only ever lose?
Sure. By playing terran you have willingly accepted the hardest challenge in the starcraft universe. Know that we are better than everyone else, it just doesn't always show, and that doesn't rub you the right way.
I can see where you're coming from OP, but I'm pretty sure SCVs are homo ( They are in the rear with the gear ) - if you ban SCV marriage I might consider playing Terran.
Siege Tank – Siege tanks are as manly as it gets. Brace for fucking impact while they blast away at your measly army; and you might think they brace for impact because of the shells they fire off... But no, little did you know that they are actually bracing the earth from orbit altering recoil.
I was reading and I felt like something to this effect would be more hilarious
- What the fuck? I got a massive increase of terran-players on my screen, boss. - What? This can't be right, it must be an error?! - No boss, it's true. - Sir, I got a trace, aparently its THIS FUCKING AWESOME THREAD on TL.net that started everything!
Zealot - these badass mofos don't give a shit that you have a gun, or that you are literally 10x+ bigger in size, zeals will run up, charge, and start slashing at ultras and thors like it's just another day in the office. the protoss have enough advanced technology to create a giant walking war of the worlds robot but the average toss individual just says screw that, I'm gonna strap BLADES TO MY HANDS and stick them in your face.
Fuck that. Terran is the race of big dicked Vikings who rampage across the galaxies in huge battleships, rip up the ground with artillery spawned from the forges of hell, and send waves of valiant warriors to fight the freaks of science. Much better to die an awesome Terran than to live as a magic wielding fairy or a mindless sac of biological goop.
If someone doesn't make a protoss version by the time I go to bed I'm going to do one my self!(it better be better than that 1 short half a paragraph long one about zealots)
On April 12 2010 00:13 -Iron- wrote: Don't try to undermine the PURE MANLINESS of the terran race you sissy protoss and zerg players out there!
Most people's definition for "pure manliness" is stupidly made decisions, show-offs, and the ability to go over-board because of the smallest little thing.
The race for people that want to cry about Protoss being too strong.
Until the end of time: "Yeah we have Thor, but they have mofo DTs man! And Warpgates!! lololol imba!" It's like their destiny to suffer for eternity or something.
On April 12 2010 00:28 Emon_ wrote: The race for people that want to cry about Protoss being too strong.
Until the end of time: "Yeah we have Thor, but they have mofo DTs man! And Warpgates!! lololol imba!" It's like their destiny to suffer for eternity or something.
Protoss forever.
those people must not main T, real men don't complain, they get the job done, don't hate cause roll'd a race that has no manliness that everyone plays
On April 12 2010 00:28 Emon_ wrote: The race for people that want to cry about Protoss being too strong.
Until the end of time: "Yeah we have Thor, but they have mofo DTs man! And Warpgates!! lololol imba!" It's like their destiny to suffer for eternity or something.
Protoss forever.
those people must not main T, real men don't complain, they get the job done, don't hate cause roll'd a race that has no manliness that everyone plays
On April 12 2010 00:28 Emon_ wrote: The race for people that want to cry about Protoss being too strong.
Until the end of time: "Yeah we have Thor, but they have mofo DTs man! And Warpgates!! lololol imba!" It's like their destiny to suffer for eternity or something.
Protoss forever.
those people must not main T, real men don't complain, they get the job done, don't hate cause roll'd a race that has no manliness that everyone plays
Agreed, Artosis is not manly
?????, Ya ok, getting on that train i see chuga, chuga
On April 12 2010 01:06 kawoq wrote: best laugh I get from the internet in a long long time... great OP... can wait to read the counter part of Protoss and Zerg...
The Zerg will NEVER be able to create a counter post. What could this argument possibly sound like and what points will they make? The shallow-brained devs who worked on the zerg gave them nothing to work with in this arena of "MANliness."
Here's my sample counter argument for how MANLY the Z are:
Point 1: The whole time playing the zerg you feel like you're in command of a cancerous farting BUTTHOLE infestation. What is more manly than prostate cancer?
2: Instead of something so lame as the booming voice of a sentient hive mind commanding you to extract vGas, you get get the whine of the anal butt-Queen THE WHOLE GAME. What is more manly than having your wife whine at you all day?
3: Now instead of the sprawling Zerg hive, you get to build a base that looks like a bug themed childrens birthday party at a park with inflatable jungle-jim extractors. What is more manly than spreading your seed and fathering children?
4: The evil badass hydra has been replaced with the quilbeast from Diablo II and you can no longer tell how they can do damage to metal objects... What is more manly than Diablo 2?
5: Zerglings are no longer high octane velociraptors that explode at the end of a brief tumultuous existence. They are now giant cricketts that tap your base to death. What is more manly than death?
6: Mutalisks used to agressivly storm the enemy while sounding like eagle-dragons, and now we get screeching bug bats. Who is more manly than The Batman?
7: The Ultralisks no longer stampede your measly defence, they have now been reduced to a herd of claw-faced triceratops babies. What is more man- wait... NONE of these things are least bit manly...
Basically, they could've replaced the whole zerg race with that of the Panderans... at least the panderans are supposed to be a rediculous joke.
This is the greatest post ever. I'm standing by for him to do the rest of terran units or do a post on how the protoss fail at manliness... Mothership anyone?
On April 12 2010 02:37 gogogadgetflow wrote: This is the greatest post ever. I'm standing by for him to do the rest of terran units or do a post on how the protoss fail at manliness... Mothership anyone?
They should put the old Executor - who COMMANDED you, from a millenial throne, Construct Additional PYLONS! - Inside the Mothership and make it shoot a devstating blast warped from a megacannon on Auir... or something equally badass and manly.
Yes the terran have some manly units but the game as a whole seems like its being made by a different company altogether. One that will make games for kids so that they can get more sales. Original SC and BW were made by MEN for MEN. When i was a 12 yr old boy I wanted a game with WAR in it.
But then again most of us were raised on Toonami, DBZ, GUNDAM, ROBOTECH, TRANSFORMERS, and BEAST WARS.
Children now probably don't have any issues with playing such a dumb feeling game because of the inundation of sponge bob and magoozi.
And as for terrans manliness, id like to point out that there is a ridiculous amount of bass in the marine and goliath gun blasts in sc1 and now they just seem to be shooting .22's
The extinction of the visceral experience that was SC1 can be summed up in one unit: The Infestor. Who's the idiot who came up with that and his "spawn infested rine" spell?
I seriously CANNOT believe the infestor and the THOR are in the same damn game.
The best thing about Terran is the scream of Marine in SC1 when they got raped. Now in SC2 the Marine has some kind of hyperventilation so that they're can't even scream properly, the best thing about them has gone. No point for me to play as Terran anymore. I think all 3 races are awesome at this time, but no scream of Marine, no play as Ter for me lol. Bring it back Bliz and maybe this thread will not too suck.
Yes, that's how it is in the story of Zerg, Overmind is no more, i'm still happy with the voice of Queen of Blade as long as they fix the dialogs that too long to pay attention.
On April 12 2010 03:36 niteReloaded wrote: Now a version for Zerg and Protoss is needed, so that it's easy for new players to decide without making new "which race should I play" threads.
I posted one for Z on page 6 didnt you read it? lol
On April 11 2010 17:29 Mentat wrote: Remember when EMPs were only available on massive floating science research facilities ? Ghosts were all like “fuck that shit, I’ll carry them”.
I am tempted to believe that terran has surpassed protoss in cheesiness. Real men. Ya lol. Tell that those >50% of terrans that do nothing but annoy with everything they got.
On April 12 2010 04:24 spinesheath wrote: I am tempted to believe that terran has surpassed protoss in cheesiness. Real men. Ya lol. Tell that those >50% of terrans that do nothing but annoy with everything they got.
Pathetic Zerg infidel! You dare to question the badassness and divine aura of the terran race? Which stare is more scary: this...
Terrans are uberrace. The worst terran unit is infasted terran...becouse it is not even a terran any more, LOL.
Changeling turns into terrans, becouse he wants to be as kick ass as they are.
Firebats are so manly... they smoke very strong cigaretes and when they burn with their badass flamethrowers, the cigarete smoke splash-hit zerglings nearby and chockes them to death. In the other hand, Protoss are pussies and they dont have even a mouth to smoke.
Terrans are the only race drinking beer. What can be more manly than that?
On April 12 2010 03:39 alucardme87 wrote: I think at this point the Toss has more interesting idea. Those wrap, those blink and all are awesome. And they're easy to eyes to recognize units.
Yea interesting if you think amulet upgrades are cool right?
If the Terran are Habanero chillis then Zerg are the Ghost pepper
Zerglings -These little midgets will tear your eyes out, and give you a permanent smile and im not talking about Botox. The last Terran that survived an attack from a group of these these bad boys came back looking like this:
Roach - The humble cockroach, think those little gits infesting your kitchen are tough to kill ?
well did you hear that if humanity destroyed itself in a nuclear war the resistance these things have to radiation mean they will likely inherit the earth ? If you think thats tough wait till you meet The Roach. He'l burn your face off and inhale that nuclear fallout like it was one of your favourite Cubans.
On April 11 2010 18:12 ComradeDover wrote: The OP speaks truth. :D
EDIT: Although he forgot how manly Vikings are, headbanging while firing when in ground mode and raiding and pillaging when in air mode. Hell, even women driving banshees somehow manage to be manly.
It's real nice to read this thread as opposed to the 9001 other "Serious Discussions" and complain threads.
Banshees are manly because they're all raging lesbians and that's as manly as a woman will ever become.
On April 11 2010 18:12 ComradeDover wrote: The OP speaks truth. :D
EDIT: Although he forgot how manly Vikings are, headbanging while firing when in ground mode and raiding and pillaging when in air mode. Hell, even women driving banshees somehow manage to be manly.
It's real nice to read this thread as opposed to the 9001 other "Serious Discussions" and complain threads.
Banshees are manly because they're all raging lesbians and that's as manly as a woman will ever become.
For some strange reason, manly women just aren't very appealing to me. Hmm.
On April 11 2010 18:12 ComradeDover wrote: The OP speaks truth. :D
EDIT: Although he forgot how manly Vikings are, headbanging while firing when in ground mode and raiding and pillaging when in air mode. Hell, even women driving banshees somehow manage to be manly.
It's real nice to read this thread as opposed to the 9001 other "Serious Discussions" and complain threads.
Banshees are manly because they're all raging lesbians and that's as manly as a woman will ever become.
For some strange reason, manly women just aren't very appealing to me. Hmm.
On April 12 2010 03:39 alucardme87 wrote: I think at this point the Toss has more interesting idea. Those wrap, those blink and all are awesome. And they're easy to eyes to recognize units.
Yea interesting if you think amulet upgrades are cool right?
I thought i was the only one that noticed that. LOL hella funny
On April 12 2010 03:39 alucardme87 wrote: I think at this point the Toss has more interesting idea. Those wrap, those blink and all are awesome. And they're easy to eyes to recognize units.
Yea interesting if you think amulet upgrades are cool right?
I thought i was the only one that noticed that. LOL hella funny
there jus nothing manly about pie face aliens with jewlry and insects that puke everywhere, theres probably so many tosses that hate this thread so much they are making their own thread to feel better about their race....
On April 11 2010 17:29 Mentat wrote: "Hey Magnus (damn straight he has a manly name like Magnus) I think we need a better way to kill things", so Magnus was like "I agree, strap on some rocket fucking launchers to my arms and I'll start blowing shit up". And he did, and it was good.
Terran is the race of big dicked Vikings who rampage across the galaxies in huge battleships, rip up the ground with artillery spawned from the forges of hell, and send waves of valiant warriors to fight the freaks of science.
On April 12 2010 06:01 ZooG wrote: "Man"-liness should be the terrans, huh? I chose you, Mantoss!
There's too much man in this thread.
On August 07 2006 15:44 Rekrul wrote: Koreans usually don't look strangers in the eyes. Atleast thats true for gamers, most don't have very good social skills.
At MBC Trials I raped some terran round one. I was feeling pumped and ready for round 2 vs. Reach.
I was then walking towards him and he was walking towards me and we made eye contact, he didn't look away, neither did I. I felt the power of the mantoss. There was nothing I could do. He was Reach. I was the first one to break the eye contact. I knew what was coming.
Perhaps it would be reasonable to understand that the zerg may increase the population of infested terrans as they have done for hydralisks, zerglings, mutalisks, etc. The new evolutionized human combined with the zerg essence. Their abilities are strengthened by the blood that flows in their veins. Their obedience is only to those who outrank them. They are perfection in ideal form. By these words: "For the Swarm!" Man has begun a new age! An age of perfection!
On April 12 2010 00:28 Emon_ wrote: The race for people that want to cry about Protoss being too strong.
Until the end of time: "Yeah we have Thor, but they have mofo DTs man! And Warpgates!! lololol imba!" It's like their destiny to suffer for eternity or something.
Protoss forever.
those people must not main T, real men don't complain, they get the job done, don't hate cause roll'd a race that has no manliness that everyone plays
I think too many people are playing the manly terran already . Ten games today, seven terran mirrors and I hate mirrors. (the other 3 were 2 zergs who 6pooled, and 1 protoss who tried to proxy-cannon rush, "fun")
Okay, okay...in order to settle this issue ONCE AND FOR ALL, I have decided to personally and exhaustively measure and compare the relative manliness of the two races of Protoss and Terran, to see which race are the REAL MEN of the Starcraft Universe (the caps are necessary, believe you me).
To this end, I have decided to go through the units one by one, pitting what I believe to be the equivalent units on each side in head-to-head matchups to decide which one is most manly. I will then tally the scores and use them to figure out which side is overall MOST MANLIEST OF ALL.
So without further ado, let's begin:
ROUND ONE: PROBE vs SCV FIGHT!
In this corner, we have the SCV, a red-neck with a drill and a bad attitude, mauling Probes and Drones with it's super-drill, repairing Thors as they lay waste to enemy bases. Manly, to be sure...but it's self-esteem still hasn't recovered from losing all that hp.
In the other corner, though, we have the Probe, tiny beeping robot of death, happily slipping and sliding and racing around enemy bases, beeping curses at the Zealots and Marines as they try and fail to catch up to it, sliding into a Zerg mineral line and zapping Drones with it's Super-Taser, blocking expansion attempts with vindictive glee; in other words, an all-around Bad-ass.
In one corner of the ring, we have the Marine, tough, no nonsense re-socialized goon protected by hundreds of pounds of hard metal, armed with a gun twice the size of their arms, shredding apart Zealots and Battlecruisers alike. Manly indeed.
In the other corner, though, we have the Zealot (or MANLOT, as I like to call him), a warrior so utterly MANLY that while Marines don't dare to step onto a battlefield without tons of metal and a gun between them and the enemy, Zealots sprint into Tank lines and Baneling-mined battlefields with their heads, arms, and legs totally exposed, wearing suits that are quite literally nothing but BLING, solid gold hoops and leggings studded with jewels the size of a man's head; shrugging off hails of bullets as they move relentlessly and unstoppable towards their doomed target, and then turning into frigging energy, charging up to everything from Marines to Ultralisks without hesitation, and PUNCHING THEM IN THE FACE. There is quite literally no unit in SC2 more bad-ass than the Zealot.
Verdict: Zealot>>>>Marine
ROUND THREE: Stalker vs Marauder FIGHT!
In one corner, we have the Marauder, a literal walking tank that waddles across the battlefield inside about two tons of metal, blasting apart everything from Roaches to Thors with Missiles that it shoots out of its arms, shrugging off Baneling blasts as if they were bottle rockets. Plus, their voicing is so testesterone-laced that it makes you want to go off and blow something up, just because. In one word, MANLY.
The Stalker, on the other hand, is manliness of a different sort. DTs who decided that life would be better with a little more firepower; racing around the battlefield on four awesome legs, teleporting every which way, striking from every side, blasting apart Vikings, Banshees, Roaches, and Battlecruisers alike with their lil' blue energy beams of awesome. Very cool.
Verdict: Despite my biases, I'd have to give the edge to the Marauder. IT'S ABOUT TA GET HEAVY! Marauder>Stalker
ROUND FOUR: Immortal vs Siege Tank FIGHT!
In this corner, we have the Siege Tank, pure explosive AWESOME. Sitting back secure behind a line of Hellions, the Siege Tank commander hums Ride of the Valkyries to himself as he blasts Hydralisks, Marines, and Zealots into burnt particles of ash. Manly indeed.
The Immortal, on the other hand, is so manly that he sips a mug of boiling-hot tea as he lumbers into Siege Tank fire, complaining about his back, and then blows them apart in two shots of his giant friggin' Cannon of Doom. Roaches turn and run at the very sight of him, and every Thor's worst nightmare is seeing him in the enemy army. A few hundred years ago, he was a manly Zealot who slaughtered thousands of enemies and then got his torso blown off by a Siege Tank..and now he's back to return the favor, enflamed with a burning vendetta to rid the Galaxy of every single thing that does over ten damage. He's so old that he's quite literally seen it all, and now, he's ready to BLOW IT ALL UP. Thors? Pfft. Those baby Terrans and their toys... Ultralisks? Whatever. Siege Tanks? Don't make him laugh! When he was a Dragoon, Siege Tanks did just as much damage for half the cost...now, they're more expensive, can't even touch him, and all he has to do is sneeze at them and they come apart. Roaches? Meat shield his steel buttocks! Those young whippersnappers don't even have to deal with Dark Swarm anymore! Manliness indeed.
Verdict: Immortal>>Siege Tank
ROUND FIVE: THOR vs COLOSSUS FIGHT!
In one corner, we have the Thor. It is...probably one of the manliest things imaginable, a giant mech the size of the Hoover Dam, armed with four massive Cannons of Death, two guns the size of the Large Hadron Collider, and a clutch o' missiles that shred Mutalisks like paper. Plus, it's piloted by Chris Metzen and Arnold Schwarzneggers's love child...in other words probably the manliest human being imaginable. So yeah, on the Manliness scale, the Thor is off the charts.
On the other hand, we have the Reaver's successor, a tripod the size of the Empire state building, armed with two beams of energy that torch EVERYTHING on the ground...in other words, Smokey the Bear's worst nightmare. And it's noises are just so DARN CUTE! More Totally Awesome than it is Manly. But still...
Verdict: Tough one, but with Metznegger, there's really only one possible answer. Thor>Colossus
ROUND SIX: PHOENIX vs VIKING FIGHT!
In one corner, we have the Viking, a Goliath with an attitude, a Wraith with balls of steel...every Colossus's worst nightmare. One of my favorite units in the game. Who's the best pilot in the fleet? Yours truly.
In the other, we have the Phoenix, manlily racing around the field, picking up yo Queen and burning her into a crisp, tearing through Mutalisks like the worms from your little brother's science experiment, and piloted by a Protoss that just oozes manliness in every way.
Verdict: Viking>Phoenix. It's close, though.
ROUND SEVEN: SENTRY vs REAPER FIGHT!
Yeah, it's not exactly a similar matchup...but I think we all know who wins here. Reapers have some of the best voice-work in the game, pistols, and can take out buildings in like ten seconds...but nothing is as manly as those little skittering snowglobes that just force-fielded your entire vastly-superior army into oblivion.
Verdict: Sentry>Reaper
ROUND NINE: VOID RAY vs BANSHEE FIGHT!
In one corner, we have the Banshee, a tough, fast harasser that quickly spells doom to probe lines and Marauders alike. As manly as is it as possible to be for a unit piloted by a woman.
In the other, we have a GIANT LASER piloted by a DT in a black helmet that glares in impassive rage as he burns your hatchery into nothingness. It don't get much more manly than that.
Verdict: Void ray>Banshee
ROUND TEN: WARP PRISM vs MEDIVAC FIGHT!
In one corner, we have the Medivac, a support unit that heals people with a magical beam, and carries them around. And is piloted by a woman (who's not nearly as attractive as the Medic from SC1, for the record). But still, it's a tough ship that can absorb a bit of fire, and makes your M&M twice as effective as before. Plus, you won't be questioning how manly it is when it's unloading Marauders into the back of your base to snipe your Nexus.
In the other, we have the Warp Prism...a giant piece of jewelry that flies, beams units up a la Star Trek, and is currently in your base warping in DTs.
Verdict: I can't believe I'm saying this, but... Medivac>Warp Prism
ROUND ELEVEN: HIGH TEMPLAR vs GHOST FIGHT!
In this corner, we have the Ghost, a psionic operative that takes out half your army's hitpoints in one EMP shot, is invisible, and most importantly NUKES THINGS.
In the other, we have the High Templar, an old man who is too awesome to even let the ground touch his feet, makes your Ghost's head explode via the Hand of God, then covers your entire army in roiling electricity, melting your precious M&M back into the inferior metals from whence they came. Oh, and as if that wasn't enough, it just morphed into a giant ball of flaming gas. Yeah.
Verdict: HT>Ghost
ROUND TWELVE: CARRIER vs BATTLECRUISER FIGHT!
In this corner, we have a Carrier, a literal perfect storm of death and destruction, unleashing it's little robots of manly destruction to utterly annihilate the enemy; and piloted by a giant-headed Real Man of the Protoss.
On the other hand, we also have the Battlecruiser, a hundred tons of neosteel with a dozen laser batteries and a massive gun that shoots giant balls of flaming energy. Also captained by a guy with a pipe.
Verdict: Battlecruiser>Carrier
ROUND THIRTEEN: MOTHERSHIP vs RAVEN FIGHT!
Okay. We have a big robot that drops little robots and shoots missiles that are nuke-grade yet move the speed of drunk bumblebees; and we have a giant floating city that opens tears in the fabric of reality to suck in its enemies, and is capable of beaming your entire army to itself in an instant. Hmmm...
Verdict: Mothership>Raven
ROUND FOURTEEN: DT vs Hellion FIGHT!
Why are we even asking this question? The DT is so awesome that light bends itself in order to be nearer to it, so manly that it risks cutting off it's own arm with every slice of it's wildly-impractical weapon, and so powerful that Blizzard had to nerf it multiple times just to keep it from dominating every unit in the game.
And on the other side we have... a buggy with a flamethrower. Yes, flamethrowers are awesome and manly, but...
Verdict: DT>>>>>>Hellion
ROUND FIFTEEN: OBSERVER vs MULE FIGHT!
Mules are awesome. They're little robots that are so manly, they show up the SCVs at their own job, and then fall to pieces because their battery just isn't able to sustain with their awesome.
Observers are the All-Seeing Eye. They are ALWAYS WATCHING YOU. They are also very, very manly.
Verdict: Tie.
That's all, folks! Well, except for the Archon, but there are no comparisons left, I'm tired, and I already talked about it under the HT.
Now, let's tally the score:
Protoss: 8 Terran: 5 Ties: 1
So, yeah; the Protoss are manlier than the Terrans, though it's closer than the score might make it look. Terrans are very, very manly...but the Protoss are even MORE manly than they. If you dispute this, then you better find a way to show that some of my results above don't hold.
TLDR: The Protoss are manlier than the Terrans because I say so. Cool?
On April 13 2010 18:57 alucardme87 wrote: I wonder why the other 2 threads of this kind have been closed but this one. Is it because the mod play Terran as well lol
On April 13 2010 18:57 alucardme87 wrote: I wonder why the other 2 threads of this kind have been closed but this one. Is it because the mod play Terran as well lol
This is the only well written MY RACE IS THE BEST THREAD. All the other threads were extremely juvenile compared to this man of a man's thread. I play Zerg and still couldn't help pumping my fists at the end of every sentence of OP.
Also, the majority of Protoss players trying to defend their race is so amusing. "Yeah we're so awesome our units are PERMANENTALY CLOAKED WE ATTACK FROM THE SHADOWS all manly not in the sense cowardice whatsoever."
I think that this thread made more people play terran, than any amount of changes of the actual game could have I will play terran for sure!!!(not just because of this, but also it looks like the most fun race to play atm) (oh and also, terran always had the BEST music in the game...)
haha, I like the overall Terran-style in Starcraft, they could've made them like the stereotypical morally correct clean-cut good-guys, instead they're drinking, smoking and talking with fake-arnold-schwarzenegger-accent's. ^^'
On April 14 2010 01:23 iamtenninja wrote: A pity because there's only one Arnie around and he's busy with California. Wonder what the thors would be like if they had Mr. T's accent.
Haha I can picture Thor's using their special ability while screaming "I pity the fool!"
On April 13 2010 18:57 alucardme87 wrote: I wonder why the other 2 threads of this kind have been closed but this one. Is it because the mod play Terran as well lol
This is the only well written MY RACE IS THE BEST THREAD. All the other threads were extremely juvenile compared to this man of a man's thread. I play Zerg and still couldn't help pumping my fists at the end of every sentence of OP.
Also, the majority of Protoss players trying to defend their race is so amusing. "Yeah we're so awesome our units are PERMANENTALY CLOAKED WE ATTACK FROM THE SHADOWS all manly not in the sense cowardice whatsoever."
Eh...I tried too hard and the Zerg copycat thread really did end up like crap in the end
On April 14 2010 08:03 alucardme87 wrote: LOL, the manliest thing about Terran is hind behind wall thinking they're "Hinding like a Man"
Because blocking with gateway / cycore and attack moving with roaches is so much manlier
What, don't tell me Marauder doesn't attack moving, plus the race that got the bad name of walling that so imfamous for is you-know-who-the-cowards-are
On April 14 2010 08:03 alucardme87 wrote: LOL, the manliest thing about Terran is hind behind wall thinking they're "Hinding like a Man"
Because blocking with gateway / cycore and attack moving with roaches is so much manlier
What, don't tell me Marauder doesn't attack moving, plus the race that got the bad name of walling that so imfamous for is you-know-who-the-cowards-are
Hahahaha omfg. Damn, I really loled. Funny thing is, technically Terran is the only manly race as they are the only race with men. But they are still wimps for hiding behind Ms. California and supply depots..
Protoss are just a bunch of fat loosers, so they cannot sneak through the walls. And Zergs are even worse cowards, cuz they attack only in greater number, always hit-n-run, and burrow themselves to hide before the might of the human race.
LOL, This thread is pure win Terrans are real men....oh wait they are the only men in the game . No no seriously Terrans are the race for men even in BW, everyone said TERRANS are for MEN
On April 14 2010 08:03 alucardme87 wrote: LOL, the manliest thing about Terran is hind behind wall thinking they're "Hinding like a Man"
Because blocking with gateway / cycore and attack moving with roaches is so much manlier
What, don't tell me Marauder doesn't attack moving, plus the race that got the bad name of walling that so imfamous for is you-know-who-the-cowards-are
Hahahaha omfg. Damn, I really loled. Funny thing is, technically Terran is the only manly race as they are the only race with men. But they are still wimps for hiding behind Ms. California and supply depots..
Terrans dont wall off to protect themselves, they wall off so that their manliness doesnt seep out and scare the enemy away, since real men love kicking ass.
if they're so manly how come they decided to remove the only female infantry unit that would keep marines company and give them back massages and sponge baths. Fucking sausage fest until starport is built lol.
Although, who knows whats going on in those medivacs...
Terran are so manly, that it didnt fit inside the banshee so they brought with them female pilots.
Lets face it, men dont drive helicopters with stealth they leave stealth optional and get more firepower.
terrans dont wall themselves in, they wall the enemy out to protect them.
Thor is a manly god for men, thats why they have started mass producing Thors to contain their manlieness.
In starcraft Tassadar was trying to burn worlds to rid the universe of the zerg, then he met terrans and could not finish his task.
There is a reason infested terrans in sc bw exploded, dealing tons of damage. Because Zerg cannot contain such powers for extended periods.
Why do you think the overmind picked Kerrigan? because he couldnt find any men weak enough. Why cant Zerg make ultralisk vs terran? because even the lowest of marines can beat it in one on one. Do you think blizzard nerfed mothership? It wasnt manly enough to have planet cracker.
The bit about shooting things faster at the cost of health is pro. To the jerks who somehow think that manliness is about more actions per minute go away. Video game manliness is graded based on how big your weapons are and how much of a shoot first and don't think at all attitude you have.
On April 29 2010 17:33 Madkipz wrote: Terran are so manly, that it didnt fit inside the banshee so they brought with them female pilots.
Lets face it, men dont drive helicopters with stealth they leave stealth optional and get more firepower.
terrans dont wall themselves in, they wall the enemy out to protect them.
Thor is a manly god for men, thats why they have started mass producing Thors to contain their manlieness.
In starcraft Tassadar was trying to burn worlds to rid the universe of the zerg, then he met terrans and could not finish his task.
There is a reason infested terrans in sc bw exploded, dealing tons of damage. Because Zerg cannot contain such powers for extended periods.
Why do you think the overmind picked Kerrigan? because he couldnt find any men weak enough. Why cant Zerg make ultralisk vs terran? because even the lowest of marines can beat it in one on one. Do you think blizzard nerfed mothership? It wasnt manly enough to have planet cracker.
On April 29 2010 16:36 BlackHat wrote: Wow the OP to this thread wins. The only remotely close argument I've heard to play another race was this:
I play Protoss, because lets face it, who doesn't love hyper-advanced Egyptian ninja-aliens that kill people with lightsabres attached to both arms?
But really, compare that to the OP, it is clear who wins.
Lol agreed thats is a pretty good selling point, I do love Terran an Protoss... Zerg not so much Also "terrans dont wall themselves in, they wall the enemy out to protect them." is pretty Epic lol
You know,they're not as manly as Terran from BW except for thors maybe in sc they flew in fucking metal boxes to fight aliens with weapons that overkilled themselves mines that were mini nukes tanks that were their own worst enemy firebats fighting ten to one odds those were the Terran glory days
still a decent post, sc2 lost some of the grimdark inherited from BW, I.e. 40k
Terran is such a manly race that all sorts of posers try to play it in hopes that the manliness will rub off. Real men (like Reach) play Protoss and derive their manliness from within. If you have to use a prop to be manly, then you are not a real man.
Only two things hold the mighty mighty masculinity of the Terrans in line: their overly massive dicks and the banshee pilots. Those bitches so crazy, they make Michel Rodriguez look like Hillary Duff and Dakota Fanning's illegitimate albino offspring (if they weren't too busy being little bitches and got busy for once). They put the "ass" in badass. These bitches don't NEED to shoot air, shit runs from the scent of their menstrual fluid. Only thing standing between these hoes and those punk ass probes is the god damn photon cannons. Shit shoots stains that not even Oxyclean can get out and scares away all the banshee bitches. Fuck.
On June 06 2010 16:20 Ronald_McD wrote: Yes. Terran are manly because Zerg have zero late game options vs Tanks and Thor.
-_-
Broodlord / corrupter
Or
Ultra/infestor
Seriously, ultras don't give a fuck about tanks and you can MC thors. If he makes too many tanks, well he doesn't have enough cannon shots, if he makes too many thors, you can steal all the thors.
And everytime you steal a thor with enough energy for a cannon, you are getting another free thor kill.
I'm seriously sick of zergs whining about mech. Spread creep, use drops, get ultras. Yeah, if you mass hydras you will lose because hydras are fucking awful against tanks, thors and hellions so why the hell are you making them?
On April 11 2010 17:29 Mentat wrote: Not to mention the fact that they are such hard bastards they still use shields in an era where intergalactic space travel is possible.
hahahaha this made me lol so hard I think the girl next door thinks I'm a psyco rapist now. =\ why is there no monthly 'most epic thread of the month'!? This would be way up there in the top10 imo :D
On June 06 2010 16:19 Blind Fremen wrote: Only two things hold the mighty mighty masculinity of the Terrans in line: their overly massive dicks and the banshee pilots. Those bitches so crazy, they make Michel Rodriguez look like Hillary Duff and Dakota Fanning's illegitimate albino offspring (if they weren't too busy being little bitches and got busy for once). They put the "ass" in badass. These bitches don't NEED to shoot air, shit runs from the scent of their menstrual fluid. Only thing standing between these hoes and those punk ass probes is the god damn photon cannons. Shit shoots stains that not even Oxyclean can get out and scares away all the banshee bitches. Fuck.
shameless self-quote, since i got page screwed (bottom of page where nobody reads it)
On September 30 2010 12:06 Subversion wrote: i wonder why the OP got banned lol.
like 3 people in the 1st page with the nuke icon :O
If you're ever curious about why a user is banned, you can just search for that user in the automated ban list. You'll find plenty of juice on the OP: 2-day -> 1 week -> 2 week -> 2 week -> perm. He just didn't get it
Also: I'm locking this thread until it goes away again. The OP was never that good to begin with, and in this climate its presence in the sidebar can only result in disaster...
EPT![[image loading]](http://i39.tinypic.com/rthmo0.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i530.photobucket.com/albums/dd345/apex_1337/Seuss5.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://wiki.teamliquid.net/starcraft/images/9/9a/ToSsGirLBio.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://wiki.teamliquid.net/starcraft/images/8/8c/IdrABio.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://wiki.teamliquid.net/starcraft/images/thumb/4/46/Canata2.jpg/200px-Canata2.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://wiki.teamliquid.net/starcraft/images/thumb/e/ec/Fantasy.jpg/200px-Fantasy.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://www.umx-gaming.com/upimg/image/NEWS/rts/iloveoov.JPG)
![[image loading]](http://www.gosugamers.net/starcraft/images/people/boxersalutes.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://homepage.mac.com/cheethorne/Starcraft/images/hydralisk.gif)
![[image loading]](http://wiki.teamliquid.net/starcraft/images/6/60/Go.goBio.png)
![[image loading]](http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp126/richard2054/the-joker.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:sIRrAOHQi-WwsM:http://www.ppdl.purdue.edu/PPDL/images/AmericanCockroach.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://www.cinemaspy.com/img/user/alien-burster.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://image.fighterforum.com/showImage.asp?realFile=FFNEWS20050707223240001.JPG)
![[image loading]](http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j30/kimtassstic/MrT15.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/2000/mantoss.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4068/4518811917_2db63e8752_o.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://mitglied.multimania.de/roemern/terranlemming.png)
