Off-Topic General Discussion - Page 1854

Possibly the worst day of my life in progress. I'm not big on emo posts on the internet because it feels like I'm crying for attention(and maybe in some way I am) but at the same time venting anonymously to nobody and everybody at the same time feels better than doing nothing.

I might make a blog post or something with more details but the preview TLDR is that my brother who I would definitively without hesitation say is the closest person to me in my entire life has stage 4 of multiple cancers and was given a 'median' prognosis of 14 months to live.

I'm not suicidal or anything, nor will I be, and the reasons this sucks so bad go beyond just losing a close family member/friend, but right now, today, life fucking sucks, and it's only going to get worse at some point in the next couple years.

I hovered over 'post' for a long time because I still feel like I shouldn't click it and ruin others' days as well, but fuck it, selfish act wins.

Like, I barely if ever see Blessing or Truesilver (no Truesilver in my last 3 drafts) and every Paladin I see has both. The 2nd one has 2x Blessing and one Truesilver.

Death is complicated. Every person reacts to it differently. Some break down, some close up tight, others distract themselves from the fact until the time has passed, busying their day to day life so they can't think about it. The truth of the matter is, well, we're all going to die. Whether you believe in God or gods or reincarnation or nothing at all, eventually we're going to end up the same way. Death is... indiscriminate. It takes young and old, good and evil, healthy and decrepit alike. It's part of life.

Most people don't know how long they have. When you know your time is close... it makes you think about things. About what kind of person you are, and were, and what kind of legacy you're leaving behind. Whether there's an afterlife or not, all that's going to be left of us when it's our time is the memories we left behind with the people who knew us.

Life is certainty. You take a breath, you move, you know you're alive. Death is certain as well, just down the road. We all know it and don't like to talk about it or think about it, but there it is.

Your brother is facing that certainty right now. And you're looking at it too. Is it scary? You bet your ass. It's terrifying in ways that I can't convey with words. Losing someone you love is the most gut-wrenching thing in the world. To know one day that they're right there, to the next knowing that you'll never be able to talk to them again, is enough to break a soul.


I've lost two family members to cancer. My mom had it and, by the grace of God, beat it, but every second from the moment of her diagnosis to the end of treatment was a living hell. You feel like you're talking to someone with an expiration date.

Imagine how much worse it is for them. They have to wake up every day facing their own mortality. That person you see with an expiration date? It's the person in the mirror for them. That feeling you get of knowing that you have limited time left with them? They feel that with every single person they know and love.

I can't take away the pain you're feeling. I can't tell you it's going to be better. That'd be a lie. Nothing's ever going to be the same again. But, your job now, as painful as it is, is to be there for him. Every second you have with him is special - for both of you. Make him know that every moment you two are together is important to you. Make him know that he's going to be remembered, that he's leaving behind the happiest memories possible. That you're going to carry him with you wherever you go in life.

And then, it's up to you to make that a truth. Pain is... pain is life, and vice versa. You're going to carry that with you until your time comes. But that pain doesn't define us. Our pain is our constant companion, but not our master. It's there with the happiness and the hard work and the joy and the sadness and the contentedness. So, experience life with him. You said he's the closest person to you in your entire life? Show him that.

"Everyone dies alone. That's what it is. It's a door. It's one person wide. When you go through it, you do it alone. But it doesn't mean you've got to be alone before you go through the door."

Edit: Also my two cents: while I've only lost grandparents, I haven't lost anyone significantly close to me where I've been to the point of grieving. But thinking about the situation, since the prognosis is terminal, make the appropriate preparation. That means spend as much time as possible, get your feelings out there and let him know what he means and help him get ready for what will eventually happen. To me, I'd want closure. Leave nothing left unsaid or undone.