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I think a good rule for spanking is having a designated hitting area (aka butt/legs)
This lets the kids know a specific punishment awaits you for doing something completely inappropriate
If you start randomly hitting them, it's going to look more like rage attack (and more likely to be)
Also what you SAY when you spank is very very important
If you're demeaning the child for what he has done, that is going to hurt him more and leave more resentment compared to the spanking itself
Asian culture definitely lends itself to spanking, and I did get spanked by my Korean parents
I don't disagree with spanking, as long as you know what you're doing, and you're reasons for it are clear, and you explain why to your child
And what you spank them for is very important too
Also Russell Peters on spanking huehuehue
+ Show Spoiler +
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On September 20 2014 20:17 Squat wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally. There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain. At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well.
Okay, let's say yes, physical punishment is a bad thing, but it dosen't mean that such punishment it the worst case scenario for a kid, but it is definitely the worst thing for parents who does the punishment. Personally for kid it might be worse to get his mouth cleaned with soap rather than get few slaps, can it be? Moreover, parents are using different punishments and not repeating one from time to time. Ofc it's better to have a perfect kid, who never get in trouble and never causes them, but what if u got a little devil? What if he doesnt care about TV or internet access and tourting pets frequently for example? What u gonna do?
It feels like Germans doesn't accept that situations might be different, and on a different situiation u have to pick a different solution, life is not a couple of algorithms with a sinlge right answer, it is more complicated.
Nothing personal about Germans, it's just u guys who says that never been spanked, that surprised me :D
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If your child is torturing pets you take him to a shrink immediately because they're horribly fucked up in the head.
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On September 20 2014 20:27 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 20:17 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally. There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain. At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well. Okay, let's say yes, physical punishment is a bad thing, but it dosen't mean that such punishment it the worst case scenario for a kid, but it is definitely the worst thing for parents who does the punishment. Personally for kid it might be worse to get his mouth cleaned with soap rather than get few slaps, can it be? Moreover, parents are using different punishments and not repeating one from time to time. Ofc it's better to have a perfect kid, who never get in trouble and never causes them, but what if u got a little devil? What if he doesnt care about TV or internet access and tourting pets frequently for example? What u gonna do? It feels like Germans doesn't accept that situations might be different, and on a different situiation u have to pick a different solution, life is not a couple of algorithms with a sinlge right answer, it is more complicated. Nothing personal about Germans, it's just u guys who says that never been spanked, that surprised me :D
If my kid ever start torturing pets and doesn't stop after a long talk about life and shit, he gotta go to a psychiatrist asap tbh.
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And based on this specific problem with ur kids, u guys, from different countries would have different solutions.
All the people are different, and all the methods are fine until u're not crossing the edge. And edges are very personal and social depended for every individual, which makes things ever more complicated.
P.S. If u got a kid that rising with a pet, statisticly speaking it will increase the kindness of ur child, eventually ur kid will learn how to live with pets in close contact and in most cases might grow up as a kind and stress-resistant person. I grew up with a pet, had a cats and dogs, and right now i've got a cat, and I love it as a part of my family.
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As far as pet torture there aren't different solutions. A child that tortures animals 100% has massive psychological problems, that is completely undeniable. He's not just being a little shit, he's deeply deeply troubled and needs a psychiatric evaluation and medication. It doesn't matter where you come from that kid's brain is broken.
That shit is the #1 massive red flag warning of being a psychopath.
Edit: I'd say if you have a child that is going around torturing animals and you spank that child you're only reinforcing their psychotic behavior. If you don't take that child to a psychiatrist that is a clear cut case of child abuse by not trying to get them the help they obviously need.
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I think there is a big difference between different parts of Europe. In Sweden, where I am from, it is very rare, and I was not spanked.
I am not a parent, but I am firmly against any kind of violence against kids.
1) It hurts, poor kids! Why would anyone do that?? :o
2) Kids copy what you do, not what you tell them to. They'll grow up to learn that violence is a method to have your way, and to show dominance.
3) I know many kids of friends that are perfectly behaving (apart from the usual kids stuff) despite not being beaten, spanked, switched or whatever you want to call using violence on kids. So yes, it can be done, and people in my social circles are doing it consistently, so it is not some freak exception. But no, I will not pretend that I know all the tricks myself as I am not a parent.
I could go into details in what should be done in certain situations, and I could theory-craft for ages, but as I am not a parent myself, it'd be like someone not having played SC teach someone about strategy.  I'll just leave it at what I wrote in point 3: I've seen the pros do it consistently, so it is possible! 
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On September 20 2014 18:15 Crushinator wrote:
I have never found any need for punishment of any kind. This bullshit about having to condition children like pigeons is just ridiculous to me, children are hardwired to see you as an authority and take your suggestions seriously. They also respond very well to relationships based on reciprocation. You give me shit, i will not be inclined to do aything fun with you. They draw on the wall, I explain that drawing is better when you do it on a piece of paper. Bedtime can be difficult, but I don't think you can punish a child to sleep. I don't know how it is when a kid has some kind of condition obviously.
I honestly don't understand what a child could possibly do to deserve being phyisically assaulted, but people will rationalize anything if it makes them feel better about their relationship with their parents and/or kids.
that's just a fat lie and very often, the opposite is true; children are hardwired to disobey everything and everyone (at least that's the take of many psych-analysts).
my take - how can one be hardwired to a concept of reason, when one has yet to grow one?(but if you meant strength or domination instead of authority then maybe).
this issue is simple for me: you spank the extroverts and reason with the introverts; later, you bribe the extroverts and bargain with introverts.
everything is about ones personality type.
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Spanking should never be intended to cause harm, it should always be done lightly and without anger and never with your hand (your children should never fear your hands). The point and purpose of spanking is a reminder that choices have consequences but it should never be to cause pain.
I was spanked as a child. My parents would tell me to go to my room, then they would come in and explain what I did wrong and ask if I understood (usually I was crying at this point) they they had a piece of wood like the size of a ruler and would lightly spank my butt with it. Afterwards they would explain that they loved me and would hold me while I cried.
Spanking is a good tool but it needs to be kept in the correct perspective and should NEVER ever be done in anger or when you as a parent are not in control of yourself.
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On September 20 2014 20:27 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 20:17 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally. There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain. At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well. Okay, let's say yes, physical punishment is a bad thing, but it dosen't mean that such punishment it the worst case scenario for a kid, but it is definitely the worst thing for parents who does the punishment. Personally for kid it might be worse to get his mouth cleaned with soap rather than get few slaps, can it be? Moreover, parents are using different punishments and not repeating one from time to time. Ofc it's better to have a perfect kid, who never get in trouble and never causes them, but what if u got a little devil? What if he doesnt care about TV or internet access and tourting pets frequently for example? What u gonna do? It feels like Germans doesn't accept that situations might be different, and on a different situiation u have to pick a different solution, life is not a couple of algorithms with a sinlge right answer, it is more complicated. Nothing personal about Germans, it's just u guys who says that never been spanked, that surprised me :D
Washing a child's mouth with soap is indeed a more extreme form of physical punishment, what is your point? People who are against spanking are also against that. Study after study shows that corporal punishment is not a good thing.
Physically punishing a child is illegal in much of Europe, including Ukraine, so I don't even know why you would be surprised.
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On September 20 2014 20:27 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 20:17 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally. There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain. At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well. Okay, let's say yes, physical punishment is a bad thing, but it dosen't mean that such punishment it the worst case scenario for a kid, but it is definitely the worst thing for parents who does the punishment. Personally for kid it might be worse to get his mouth cleaned with soap rather than get few slaps, can it be? Moreover, parents are using different punishments and not repeating one from time to time. Ofc it's better to have a perfect kid, who never get in trouble and never causes them, but what if u got a little devil? What if he doesnt care about TV or internet access and tourting pets frequently for example? What u gonna do? It feels like Germans doesn't accept that situations might be different, and on a different situiation u have to pick a different solution, life is not a couple of algorithms with a sinlge right answer, it is more complicated. Nothing personal about Germans, it's just u guys who says that never been spanked, that surprised me :D
If he tortures other living creatures as a pastime, spanking is about as effective as a bandaid on a severed arm.
Also, punishing a kid by cleaning his mouth with soap is physical abuse by any definition. You are forcefully inserting harmful and painful chemicals and substances into the child's mouth, for the express purpose of imparting a lesson. It's worse than spanking because the physical pain and violation is worse, not because it's different.
Again, children are children, German or Ukrainian or Canadian or wherever from. There is no different principle of psychological well-being that only applies to children within a specific geographic area. You are right that the variables involved are complex, but the answer is probably rather simple: Beating children is very likely bad for them, and this is likely going to be substantiated by science within a few decades at most.
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On September 20 2014 21:04 YourGoodFriend wrote:
Spanking should never be intended to cause harm, it should always be done lightly and without anger and never with your hand (your children should never fear your hands). The point and purpose of spanking is a reminder that choices have consequences but it should never be to cause pain.
I was spanked as a child. My parents would tell me to go to my room, then they would come in and explain what I did wrong and ask if I understood (usually I was crying at this point) they they had a piece of wood like the size of a ruler and would lightly spank my butt with it. Afterwards they would explain that they loved me and would hold me while I cried.
I honestly think the scenario you described is incredibly abusive, just sick really. The thing about about children not fearing your hands is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard, and what is the point of spanking if it doesn't cause pain?
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On September 20 2014 20:35 Faust852 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 20:27 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 20:17 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally. There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain. At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well. Okay, let's say yes, physical punishment is a bad thing, but it dosen't mean that such punishment it the worst case scenario for a kid, but it is definitely the worst thing for parents who does the punishment. Personally for kid it might be worse to get his mouth cleaned with soap rather than get few slaps, can it be? Moreover, parents are using different punishments and not repeating one from time to time. Ofc it's better to have a perfect kid, who never get in trouble and never causes them, but what if u got a little devil? What if he doesnt care about TV or internet access and tourting pets frequently for example? What u gonna do? It feels like Germans doesn't accept that situations might be different, and on a different situiation u have to pick a different solution, life is not a couple of algorithms with a sinlge right answer, it is more complicated. Nothing personal about Germans, it's just u guys who says that never been spanked, that surprised me :D If my kid ever start torturing pets and doesn't stop after a long talk about life and shit, he gotta go to a psychiatrist asap tbh.
If the kid is torturing pets and doesn't give a shit about punishment you've got yourself a little psychopath
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On September 20 2014 21:16 Crushinator wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 21:04 YourGoodFriend wrote:
Spanking should never be intended to cause harm, it should always be done lightly and without anger and never with your hand (your children should never fear your hands). The point and purpose of spanking is a reminder that choices have consequences but it should never be to cause pain.
I was spanked as a child. My parents would tell me to go to my room, then they would come in and explain what I did wrong and ask if I understood (usually I was crying at this point) they they had a piece of wood like the size of a ruler and would lightly spank my butt with it. Afterwards they would explain that they loved me and would hold me while I cried. I honestly think the scenario you described is incredibly abusive, just sick really. The thing about about children not fearing your hands is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard, and what is the point of spanking if it doesn't cause pain?
What? Of course you don't want your child to fear you, I specifically said hands because your not going to spank with your face are you?
Also I believe I said what the point is, to teach that things have consequence. And pray tell how is it abusive? On the contrary it is the exact opposite.
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On September 20 2014 21:40 YourGoodFriend wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 21:16 Crushinator wrote:On September 20 2014 21:04 YourGoodFriend wrote:
Spanking should never be intended to cause harm, it should always be done lightly and without anger and never with your hand (your children should never fear your hands). The point and purpose of spanking is a reminder that choices have consequences but it should never be to cause pain.
I was spanked as a child. My parents would tell me to go to my room, then they would come in and explain what I did wrong and ask if I understood (usually I was crying at this point) they they had a piece of wood like the size of a ruler and would lightly spank my butt with it. Afterwards they would explain that they loved me and would hold me while I cried. I honestly think the scenario you described is incredibly abusive, just sick really. The thing about about children not fearing your hands is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard, and what is the point of spanking if it doesn't cause pain? What? Of course you don't want your child to fear you, I specifically said hands because your not going to spank with your face are you? Also I believe I said what the point is, to teach that things have consequence. And pray tell how is it abusive? On the contrary it is the exact opposite.
I get that you don't want your child to fear you, that is why you shouldn't physically abuse them at all. Using your hand or an object isn't going to make a difference, no child fears their parents hands, they fear their parents abillity and willingness to hurt them. Which is why you cried when you knew your parents were going to hurt you.
So what do kids learn when you spank them without causing pain? Do something bad and the consequence is something you don't give a shit about? Obviously spanking IS done to cause pain, the pain and humiliation is the punishment.
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sort of related, just heard that singapore still got caning as their legal corporal punishment.
it's kinda mind blowing that we still have it in a modern society.
back on topic, I had a few "soft" spanking. there are far worse things that could happen.
At school for example, I had a teacher who forced me to stand up for hours and grabbed my tie to pull me up and it was pretty crazy.
that was primary school
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On September 20 2014 21:54 Crushinator wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 21:40 YourGoodFriend wrote:On September 20 2014 21:16 Crushinator wrote:On September 20 2014 21:04 YourGoodFriend wrote:
Spanking should never be intended to cause harm, it should always be done lightly and without anger and never with your hand (your children should never fear your hands). The point and purpose of spanking is a reminder that choices have consequences but it should never be to cause pain.
I was spanked as a child. My parents would tell me to go to my room, then they would come in and explain what I did wrong and ask if I understood (usually I was crying at this point) they they had a piece of wood like the size of a ruler and would lightly spank my butt with it. Afterwards they would explain that they loved me and would hold me while I cried. I honestly think the scenario you described is incredibly abusive, just sick really. The thing about about children not fearing your hands is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard, and what is the point of spanking if it doesn't cause pain? What? Of course you don't want your child to fear you, I specifically said hands because your not going to spank with your face are you? Also I believe I said what the point is, to teach that things have consequence. And pray tell how is it abusive? On the contrary it is the exact opposite. I get that you don't want your child to fear you, that is why you shouldn't physically abuse them at all. Using your hand or an object isn't going to make a difference, no child fears their parents hands, they fear their parents abillity and willingness to hurt them. Which is why you cried when you knew your parents were going to hurt you. So what do kids learn when you spank them without causing pain? Do something bad and the consequence is something you don't give a shit about? Obviously spanking IS done to cause pain, the pain and humiliation is the punishment.
I didn't cry because they were going to hurt me (Once again read above, they didn't hurt me) I cried because I knew I had disobeyed and you don't need physical harm to teach that disobedience is wrong you just need a constant punishment. Since this thread is about spanking I talked about how spanking should be done not how punishment for any and all wrong should be done.
What did kids learn with timeout? What do kids learn with grounding? What do kids learn with taking something away? They learn that their disobedience/wrong doing has a punishment involved and that punishment should always be constant (the same one for the same bad action). They should also have it explained to them what they did wrong so that they know what they did and so they can learn to not do it again.
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On September 20 2014 21:09 Crushinator wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 20:27 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 20:17 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally. There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain. At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well. Okay, let's say yes, physical punishment is a bad thing, but it dosen't mean that such punishment it the worst case scenario for a kid, but it is definitely the worst thing for parents who does the punishment. Personally for kid it might be worse to get his mouth cleaned with soap rather than get few slaps, can it be? Moreover, parents are using different punishments and not repeating one from time to time. Ofc it's better to have a perfect kid, who never get in trouble and never causes them, but what if u got a little devil? What if he doesnt care about TV or internet access and tourting pets frequently for example? What u gonna do? It feels like Germans doesn't accept that situations might be different, and on a different situiation u have to pick a different solution, life is not a couple of algorithms with a sinlge right answer, it is more complicated. Nothing personal about Germans, it's just u guys who says that never been spanked, that surprised me :D Washing a child's mouth with soap is indeed a more extreme form of physical punishment, what is your point? People who are against spanking are also against that. Study after study shows that corporal punishment is not a good thing. Physically punishing a child is illegal in much of Europe, including Ukraine, so I don't even know why you would be surprised.
let's just say that's still up to debate:
http://www.newsmax.com/US/spanking-studies-children-spock/2010/01/07/id/345669/
Those who were physically disciplined performed better than those who weren’t in a whole series of categories, including school grades, an optimistic outlook on life, the willingness to perform volunteer work, and the ambition to attend college, Gunnoe found. And they performed no worse than those who weren’t spanked in areas like early sexual activity, getting into fights, and becoming depressed. She found little difference between the sexes or races.
Another study published in the Akron Law Review last year examined criminal records and found that children raised where a legal ban on parental corporal punishment is in effect are much more likely to be involved in crime.
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I experienced it and I hated my dad so much for it I wanted to kill him when I got older, I don't think I ever really forgave him and our relationship completely deteriorated for most of my life because of it. However since I try to be objective, I agree with some people here that it really could be circumstantially appropriate, but regardless if it were my child I would never do such a thing because of how it mentally scarred me and might do the same to my child, especially if its sensitive.
I guess I try to forget about it, but every time I see an abusive parent grabbing their child and forcing them to walk somewhere I feel a special anger to that person  . I want to believe there is a better way than physical punishment, maybe because this is so emotionally charged for me I can't take a rational, evidence based position on it. There simply should be a better way
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My kids just laugh at me if I spank them... They are 4 and 2 respectively, obviously I have never spanked them hard enough... lol
I got the belt as a child, the wooden spoon, even a few cuffs up side the head. But I could never bring my self to hit my children hard enough to actually hurt them or even leave a mark.
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EPT
