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I was spanked a few times. The only time I remember is when I was trying to fall asleep, and my overactive imagination conjured up some kind of army (a very tiny one) or some shit crawling over my bed sheets. So my father tells me to stop crying and go to sleep, but I thought I was losing my fucking mind, because holy shit was that Stonewall Jackson riding on horseback across my pillow? So he came upstairs and spanked me. Cause and effect I guess.
I'm so glad my childhood is long gone.
Edit: As per the discussion, I think that spanking is--like anything--a tool, and completely circumstantial. I don't judge Adrian Peterson or anyone else for beating their kids: it's their kid. None of my business. If / when I have kids, I'm not going to spank them unless they severely shit the bed (so to speak), and my wife agrees.
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because an open hand slap on the ass is totally similar to taking a whip-like branch and beating your kid so hard with it that it leaves open wounds on his thighs, ass, and GENITALS a week later.
Anyone even starting to defend what Adrian Peterson did is a fundamentally broken human being. Spanking isn't even in the same realm as that.
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On September 21 2014 02:05 jeeeeohn wrote: I was spanked a few times. The only time I remember is when I was trying to fall asleep, and my overactive imagination conjured up some kind of army (a very tiny one) or some shit crawling over my bed sheets. So my father tells me to stop crying and go to sleep, but I thought I was losing my fucking mind, because holy shit was that Stonewall Jackson riding on horseback across my pillow? So he came upstairs and spanked me. Cause and effect I guess.
I'm so glad my childhood is long gone.
Edit: As per the discussion, I think that spanking is--like anything--a tool, and completely circumstantial. I don't judge Adrian Peterson or anyone else for beating their kids: it's their kid. None of my business. If / when I have kids, I'm not going to spank them unless they severely shit the bed (so to speak), and my wife agrees.
I would feel the need to do something if I became aware that a child is being abused...
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The polls surprise me a lot. I never thought that beating your child is that common in america and the difference to europe is that huge. I was never beaten by my parents and I will call the police on anyone who does. I am glad its a crime in germany.
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I'm pretty sure most us would not have considered ourselves being "beaten" by our parents
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I live in the US but I was born in Sweden and both my parents are from foreign countries, and I've never been spanked or anything even close to it.
You should be friends with your parents. They shouldn't be these scary authority figures who you follow out of fear or forced respect. My parents have always been logical and friendly with me, and talked to me as equals. But I understand that some kids might just be terrible people, and you can't use this approach because they won't reciprocate the sentiment.
In general though, I don't think any sort of corporal punishment is a good thing, even if it's just "gentle spanking".
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On September 21 2014 02:35 N1mrod wrote: The polls surprise me a lot. I never thought that beating your child is that common in america and the difference to europe is that huge. I was never beaten by my parents and I will call the police on anyone who does. I am glad its a crime in germany. I don't think that people would consider a spanking, being beaten.
i personally have gotten the wooden spoon before, and i don't think it really left any negative effects other than the fact that I wouldnt consider doing what I had done to receive the punishment ever again lol
however, if you beat the child until he's bruised and has welts, that's where a line is being crossed
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I got spanked but not often. I think less then 10 times total and just a slap with the hand on the ass. Just once I had a really bad fight with my father and we were wrestling on the ground and I got a slap to the face ;D I think it was okay and I deserved it but I would definitely call the cops if the parents spank the kid so hard that it's bleeding and I also think something in your parenting style is wrong if spanking is a regular thing.
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The problem is not beating your child vs not. The problem is that these bullshit studies that news sources all over are quoting as "scientific evidence that corporal punishment heads children towards violent lives" are being allowed to be used without ever explaining how the conclusion was reached.
If you actually look at the studies Huffpost, NYTimes, etc all are quoting and posting, you'll find that almost 100% of them were funded by DRUG FIRMS or large corporations in the medical or psychological industries with vested interests in the outcomes that could mean a whole new market opening up for them to sell drugs to.
You also will find that while they pick 1400-1600 subjects in some of the larger studies, they only picked 20 people as a "control". Such a large disparity only skews the results by putting a great deal more people on one side than the other. It also must be noted that the 1400-1600 that were "beaten as children" had to meet the following criteria:
-Beaten for at least 3 sustained years or longer during childhood -All incidents were public or became public in the duration of the corporal punishment -All incidents involved medium to large objects.
That last one there? "medium to large" objects is further-explained to be full-sized chairs, baseball bats and kitchen/household appliances! WHAT THE HELL!? How do these people deem it unnecessary to clarify that their study was not a child who acted out and ignored verbal warnings and was therefore delivered a private in-home spanking that lasts only 5-10 strikes (most don't even do more than 2-3) but 100% public beatings with loud public verbal insults and finally almost all the time involving large objects instead of hands! You can't even debate how ridiculous this massive omission of data is! Scientifically, those facts alone would discredit these studies entirely.
So in other words, there are no definitive non-biased non-corporate-funded correctly-executed truly "scientific" studies done on any of this! If the anti-spanking side had the decency to not lie about this so openly on a massive scale, I might entertain the idea. However when I find one side is being honest but looks bad publicly because the other is wildly blown out of proportion by the mass media and lies, I'm going to go with my own experiences instead of liars.
The dividing line must be made so that they understand that people who were spanked and yelled at for discipline in their homes as children are in a completely different category and situation than those who are publicly humiliated and beaten with large objects until welts and a good amount of blood is drawn. Stop lumping "beatings" in the same category. Any sensible human would know better unless they're just stupid as fuck.
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Spanked with hands, belts, and sticks, slapped around, screamed at and belittled constantly.
Needless to say I haven't spoken to my mother in quite a long time.
If I have children I won't be using corporal punishment at all.
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If you can raise a child without laying your hand on them, why shouldn't you? Or is this just about the easiest and most effective way of disciplining someone?
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Yes I was spanked as a child, and I thank God my parents did...we were such bad kids , and we definitely needed it. My mom would usually spank us with a wooden spoon or a little switch. When we got to a certain age (I think past 12 or something), my parents stopped the spanking, and replaced it with grounding (they would either ban us from playing the computer, or from going outside), because we didn't care that much about being spanked anymore.
Also, to all the people who think that spanking = "beating your children"...get a life and wake up, LOL. This is one of the stupidest straw-man arguments I've ever heard. As others have already said, there's a difference between slapping your kid on the backside with a spoon/open hand a few times, and beating them with a bat/whip/chair to the point that they're cut and bleeding. The first one is called discipline, the second one is called over-the-top violence/brutality. If you can't differentiate between these, you don't belong on the Internet, much less in this thread.
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i've been slapped by my teacher, batted by my coach, beaten countless times with coat hangers from my parents. i fought back when my sister tried with a broom, then i got spanked x2. (i was very troublesome kid)
everyone in class had their palms hit with a ruler for those that didnt do homework, the classroom president was hit more to take responsibility.
i've never been hit with a fist while growing up from grown ups. fist is another matter.
its definitely a cultural thing, like, i had no idea you can train dogs without hitting them until i had a white roommate raising a puppy. was quiet a culture shock when i compared it to methods my mother used. been scolding my mother ever since.
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On September 20 2014 20:17 Squat wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote: Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally. There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain. At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well. Can you offer an example of what kind of neuroscience observation could possibly lead to this conclusion?
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On September 21 2014 03:43 nbaker wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 20:17 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote: Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally. There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain. At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well. Can you offer an example of what kind of neuroscience observation could possibly lead to this conclusion? http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2002/06/spanking.aspx
Summary: Corporal punishment definitely doesn't do any good, the chance that it's harmful is very high.
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Generally I dont think spanking is a good thing, most of the time it actually shows loss of control by the parent and is a sign of weakness.
But it is also not as bad as some people make it out to be. I was spanked as a child. But I also remember a few times I was asked if I wanted a spanking or having to clean up the kitchen as punishment for some shit I did. I chose the spanking. So really it can not have been that bad, it was a punishment like any other.
Also parents can abuse their children without ever using physical violence. Just think of Franz Kafka who was traumatized by the verbal abuse he received from his father, even though he was never touched by him.
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On September 21 2014 03:47 Nyxisto wrote:Show nested quote +On September 21 2014 03:43 nbaker wrote:On September 20 2014 20:17 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote: Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally. There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain. At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well. Can you offer an example of what kind of neuroscience observation could possibly lead to this conclusion? http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2002/06/spanking.aspxSummary: Corporal punishment definitely doesn't do any good, the chance that it's harmful is very high. This study is behavioral, which I think is much more likely to be informative about the effects of corporal punishment. I can't think of any way looking at brain anatomy or brain chemistry would be meaningful.
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On September 21 2014 03:43 nbaker wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 20:17 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote: Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally. There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain. At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well. Can you offer an example of what kind of neuroscience observation could possibly lead to this conclusion? http://www.theguardian.com/science/2012/feb/13/childhood-abuse-growth-brain-emotions http://www.news24.com/MyNews24/Debunking-corporal-punishment-myth-1-Spanking-children-for-discipline-does-no-harm-20131119 http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-me-in-we/201202/how-spanking-harms-the-brain http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2012/06/27/peds.2011-2947.full.pdf http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2896871/
There's tonnes more, but that is a passable start. I'll try to find some more extensive material for tomorrow.
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I was spanked with the belt on bare ass, up until the age where I tackled my father and punched him in the face a few times. I don't spank my kids and find it less effective than other means of discipline. To each their own though.
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