EPTWere you spanked? - Page 2
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Fecalfeast
Canada11355 Posts
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Powerpill
United States1693 Posts
Dug it up in another window, surprised it's still there. http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/general/32150-why-beating-you-kid-isnt-all-that-bad Anyway, the Peterson method is obviously pretty medieval and disgusting, though sadly happens more than most people think (seen it in friends homes growing up many times). Simple palm to ass spankings, that is more of a grey area. I got them growing up, but I believe they are not necessary. It did get results, as in I would avoid certain behaviors in fear of the spank, but I think it would have been a bit more effective to simply verbally drill in the reasoning why the specific bad behavior was considered bad in the first place (like a temper tantrum in a public place could be explained as embarrassing to the parents obviously, but more importantly to the child him/herself, asking them what they would think if they saw someone else acting like a loud little cry baby, and that is how everyone in that public place is going to remember them from then on...Yunno.. things like that. Would that have worked on me? Maybe, maybe not, but if I was locked in my room over and over getting the same lecture drilled in my head explaining the reason(s) why my behavior was undesirable, particularly for my own self image, as well as how others see me, then I think I would eventually get it, and most importantly, understand and believe it. With the spankings, I still wanted to misbehave, but I simply did not to avoid physical pain. So basically, I did not learn very much aside from just how fun it would be once the fear of those spankings disappeared (and oh lord, when my Dad left my Mother when I was 11, I walked all over her, got in masses of trouble, and sadly ended up dropping out at 17. Luckily I had a moment of clarity at 18, and salvaged what I could of my potential, but I'm getting away from the point... is very late here  ) Not saying spankings alone caused all of my adolescent turmoil, was more of the instant leap from a severe fear of discipline to no fear whatsoever.But back on point. Basically, behaving to avoid punishment goes more in line with the spanking, but behaving because that is how you want and believe you should act, while trickier to accomplish, is something I think parents should strive to instill. A bit idealist perhaps, but very possible to accomplish. ^_^ | ||
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Sigh
Canada2433 Posts
Spanking to the point of drawing blood definitely crosses the line though. | ||
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Incognoto
France10239 Posts
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MysteryMeat1
United States3292 Posts
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Orcasgt24
Canada3238 Posts
There are better ways to raise and punish children. I was spanked one by one of my moms friends. I laughed at him after and the next day I laughed at the black eye my mom gave him. I was 12 or 13. Other than that I was not spanked. | ||
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Incognoto
France10239 Posts
On September 20 2014 16:26 Orcasgt24 wrote: Spanking is a medieval practice in my opinion. Your literally using the fear kids have with pain as a deterrent and taking advantage of kids low thresholds for pain as a punishment. There are better ways to raise and punish children. I was spanked one by one of my moms friends. I laughed at him after and the next day I laughed at the black eye my mom gave him. I was 12 or 13. Other than that I was not spanked. well spanking someone else's kid is crazy stupid | ||
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hfglgg
Germany5372 Posts
On September 20 2014 15:47 Passion wrote: Have fun endlessly debating with your kids. Also, I'd take a spanking any day over the mental abuse that nowadays is often considered an acceptable educational method. Obviously not referring to above example... beating your kid to the point of bleeding is just ridiculous. if you dont want to talk to your kids, dont have kids. | ||
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goody153
44236 Posts
i don't think you need to spank a kid as long as you handle the talking to your kid part well .. | ||
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OuchyDathurts
United States4588 Posts
On September 20 2014 15:47 Passion wrote: Have fun endlessly debating with your kids. Also, I'd take a spanking any day over the mental abuse that nowadays is often considered an acceptable educational method. Obviously not referring to above example... beating your kid to the point of bleeding is just ridiculous. Not sure why you'd be debating with your kids, at the end of the day your word is law. Explaining something to your child isn't a courtroom case and your child isn't a debate mastermind. On September 20 2014 16:36 hfglgg wrote: if you dont want to talk to your kids, dont have kids. This a million times over. On September 20 2014 15:20 29 fps wrote: many people in America whose parents are immigrants (esp Asian ones) got spanked, so I think having a separate poll might be a good idea (or maybe I'm just curious if non-Asians get spanked as well) Being spanked happens regardless of race, it might be more common from certain backgrounds but I'm white and got spanked. If people want to spank their kids I'm not going to run around looking to have them locked up. I will without doubt look down on them as far as parental abilities are concerned however. Though, if ANY weapon is involved (Belt, spoon, switch, 2x4, etc) it crosses the line entirely. There's no sensible reason an adult needs a weapon to beat their child EVER. You can't whip an adult, no person in their right mind can make a case for whipping a child. | ||
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Motlu
Australia884 Posts
That being said, so long as its not taken so far as to draw blood, I think a bit of spanking is ok, but I would much rather see a move away from it culturally. On September 20 2014 16:00 Fecalfeast wrote: I was never hit once as a child. I turned out ok. Or did you. DUN DUN DUN | ||
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killerdog
Denmark6522 Posts
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hfglgg
Germany5372 Posts
On September 20 2014 17:01 killerdog wrote: The "europe" poll needs to be a lot more precise. In all the countries in europe I've lived in, everyone would be horrified at even the thought of spanking a child. It's seen as something which people maybe did like maybe in the 70's/80's and earlier, but has no place in modern society at all. o.0 there is probably a large difference between western / middle / northern europe and eastern / southern europe. here in germany its illegal to spank your child (makes sense as it is illegal to beat anyone and children arent the property of their parents) so its broad consensus to not do it. but thats not the case everywhere. | ||
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WetSocks
United States953 Posts
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maartendq
Belgium3115 Posts
On September 20 2014 16:36 hfglgg wrote: if you dont want to talk to your kids, dont have kids. That's got little to do with it. You cannot reason with children, their brains aren't developed enough for that. They will not think "yes, this rational argument my dad just gave for not being allowed to do that sounds reasonable. I will not do that anymore", they think "If I do that, I risk getting spanked/shouted at/shamed; doing that does not pay off to me, even though I really want to". Imagine what schools would be like if teachers were required to give rational arguments to children on why they should sit still and be quiet in class. Then again, nowadays everything that even slightly reeks of discipline or respect for authority is considered bad. | ||
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hfglgg
Germany5372 Posts
On September 20 2014 17:25 maartendq wrote: That's got little to do with it. You cannot reason with children, their brains aren't developed enough for that. They will not think "yes, this rational argument my dad just gave for not being allowed to do that sounds reasonable. I will not do that anymore", they think "If I do that, I risk getting spanked/shouted at/shamed; doing that does not pay off to me, even though I really want to". Imagine what schools would be like if teachers were required to give rational arguments to children on why they should sit still and be quiet in class. Then again, nowadays everything that even slightly reeks of discipline or respect for authority is considered bad. i am certain your teachers did not beat you, lol. we are not in the 19th century anymore. if you can not explain something to your child, then there is a pretty big chance that you have no idea why you explain it to it in the first place. | ||
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maartendq
Belgium3115 Posts
On September 20 2014 17:32 hfglgg wrote: i am certain your teachers did not beat you, lol. we are not in the 19th century anymore. if you can not explain something to your child, then there is a pretty big chance that you have no idea why you explain it to it in the first place. I didn't get beaten by teachers, obviously. Just learned very quickly that "because I say so" was a valid argument to not do stuff, both at home and at school. That gradually changed when I grew into a teenager, of course, but even then we were expected to do what the teachers told us to, not to question every word they said. Especially the older generation of teachers had very little patience with overly vocal pupils. The younger generation had less problems with that, but I think a lot of that stems from the fact that they're still growing in their job, and are trying to find their place in an often new work environment (i.e. I want to be a cool teacher). When they get more experienced, they seem to shift their focus more towards the content rather than outside appearances. After all, 40-somethings are rarely regarded 'cool' by teenagers anyway. | ||
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Squat
Sweden7978 Posts
There are no conclusive results yet, but every sign seems to indicate that corporal punishment overall has an adverse effect on the psyche of a small child. It also appears that spanking and other forms of physical disciplinary measures are usually born from frustration or anger on the parent's part, not any real desire to impart life-lessons. It's a venting mechanism for inept parents, more often than not. That being said, the worst I ever suffered was when my grandparents pinched my cheeks hard enough to make me wince, though that was born more from rheumatism and poor eyesight that any malice. | ||
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hfglgg
Germany5372 Posts
On September 20 2014 17:35 maartendq wrote: I didn't get beaten by teachers, obviously. Just learned very quickly that "because I say so" was a valid argument to not do stuff, both at home and at school. That gradually changed when I grew into a teenager, of course, but even then we were expected to do what the teachers told us to, not to question every word they said. Especially the older generation of teachers had very little patience with overly vocal pupils. The younger generation had less problems with that, but I think a lot of that stems from the fact that they're still growing in their job, and are trying to find their place in an often new work environment (i.e. I want to be a cool teacher). When they get more experienced, they seem to shift their focus more towards the content rather than outside appearances. After all, 40-somethings are rarely regarded 'cool' by teenagers anyway. soooo your teachers did not beat you and you still behaved? interesting... | ||
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Faust852
Luxembourg4004 Posts
Reading some comments it looks like it's not the case. One slap when the kid is really annoying or mean, ok, but hitting them repetitively with a belt should lead to at least 10 years of jail imho. | ||
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